Story: My Diary
Author: J.E.A.R.K.Potter (Jackie)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own the plot, that's it. J.K. Rowling owns most of the characters, even the characters that are made up own themselves, and I don't own 'em.

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Summary: Hermione's Journal. Rated R for sexual things, drugs, alcohol, and suicidal thoughts.

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Thanks to my five reviewers!! Erin from J.E.A.R.K.Potter, Miranda G.Potter, scorpio-1983, NightDreamer13, miss-radcllife, and a new reviewer sadaf!! I've gotten my first flamer for the story, which comes from Critic Freak.

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Entry 6
8-19-96

Dear Diary,

I'm going to kill myself... I'm fucking going to take this knife that's in my other hand and cut my wrist! It's not like anyone would care...

If you can't tell, Harry broke up with me. He left on the 16th for training, you know, and I've called him since then, but tonight... I got on the phone with him. He seemed... Distant. We kept talking till Dudley picked up the phone and Harry hung up.

You'd think the Boy-Who-Lived would have the guts to say he wanted to break up with me to my face, or at least tell me himself, but NO! Dudley had to do it for him and then he hung up on me!

This was all yesterday. I've been in my room, bawling my eyes out since then. I'm never going to look at the moon and not cry again, because I was outside, looking up at the moon, when it all happened.

Diary, I love him! I love him so much it hurts! Why don't I just cut a little bit...

No! Hermione, think of Dawn ((A/n- Remember, that's Hermione's little cousin... -Jackie))! Hasn't she been calling you mummy lately? Yes, yes she has. If you took your life now, think of how she'd feel!

Didn't Harry just get done saying he loved me? How could someone who loves you do this to you? Oh, Diary, I'm so confused. I feel so unloved, but yet I know that I'm loved. I want to cut so badly, but I know that I can't...

God damn you, Harry! Why do I love you?
-Hermione

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((A/n- I'm not going to leave ya'll like this. I'm going to write Entry 7 down here, too. Actions are bold, okay? -Jackie))

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Entry 7
9-2-96

Dear Diary,

Rolls eyes School started yesterday. Even got some new transfer students. Mae, she's in Ravenclaw with Luna. Grace, she's actually in Gryffindor. Then there's Nicole who's in Hufflepuff with Hannah and Susan. Lastly is Kory, yes, she's female, who's over there with Hannah and Susan, too. Luna and Grace are really the only ones who have noticed I'm not eating much. Well, Ron, Ginny, and Hannah have noticed, too. I feel really in sin with Grace. She promised to hook me up with some weed. Thank goodness. I think this is just what I need to calm down my raging nerves, you know.

I haven't talked to Harry since Dudley broke up with me for him. When I call to talk to Christine sometimes, I ask only for Christine, never Harry. I hope to the fucking gods that pisses Harry off!!

I think my grades are even going to begin slipping, hopefully not, though. I really want to keep up my articles in the Quibbler and Mum says if they drop too much I'll have to drop that.

Can't you tell I'm trying to forget the word 'Harry'? Sorry, but I've been crying non-stop these past few weeks just because of all that. I'm lucky that I didn't cut. Mc Gonagall's noticed a 'change' in my, and yeah... She's no longer my role model. She fucking doesn't understand!
God damn it... People are coming. Got to go. Bye.

-Hermione

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