Story: My Diary
Author: J.E.A.R.K.Potter
(Jackie)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own the plot. The characters
that are made up technically
own themselves...
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Summary:
Hermione's Journal. Rated R for sexual happenings, drugs,
alcohol,
and attempted suicide (most non-graphic)
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Thanks
to my reviewers!! A new reviewer, helloppl, Miranda G.
Potter,
BubblyBubbles365, NightDreamer13, missradcliffe, and Erin
from
J.E.A.R.K.Potter. Thanks!!
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Entry
13
3-31-97
Dear Diary,
I know it's the first time that I've written in here since the new year started. Sorry that I haven't wrote much, but nothing's happened to me!! I've just been having a normal life, for the time being. I don't think being a witch counts for having a normal life, but this is me... so, no normal life.
I did, however, get a new cat today. I named her after Luna's favourite muggle movie series, Star Wars. Her name is Padmé Amidala Granger. She's pure brown and when she's tired, she's got the biggest blue eyes I've ever seen!!
She looks nothing like Crookshanks. Truth be told, he has to stay with Mum and Dad because he's getting so damn grouchy. When I go home on the weekends, I wonder how Crookshanks, Patches (that's Dad's cat) and Sammi (Mum's cat) will act towards my little fluff ball of terror...
Sorry for such a short entry!!
-Hermione
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Entry
14
4-12-97
Dear Diary,
I shouldn't be this way. I really, really shouldn't. I don't even know if Harry is cheating on me...
Oh who cares! I really want something t show for this pain that is inside of me. Just a few little slits... but not on my wrist, no no, Diary, on my forearm. No one ever sees it, anyways! (Yeah Jackie no one ever sees it that was sarcasm tell-Erin)
Shit... Sorry, Diary, I didn't mean to get blood on you. Now you're always going to remember what happened... I'm just hoping no one ever, ever gets into you, Diary. You are my only friend. You know everything about me. You're the only thing that I can tell my true feelings to. You're the only thing that even knows me a little bit...
Good goblets. Do you think people would notice if I started to not eat? I need to lose weight, anyways. 15 years old, I shouldn't weigh 120 fucking pounds...
Yeah... Now my life is perfect. If everyone thinks I'm so fucking perfect, why don't they see perfect comes with so many flaws?
-Hermione
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(A/n --
All of these are short. Nothing major is really happening in
Hermione's life at this point, just like in a regular diary, you
know. I'm going to write three more entries in this one chapter,
okay? --
Jackie
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Entry 15
6-26-97
Dear
Diary,
Well I'm in an airplane flying over the Atlantic Ocean, seeing tons of things as I sit here in a two seater seat with Dawn laying on my lap. She's got something. I think its strep throat.
Mum had the great idea that for two
weeks I should get away from everything that's happening. Nothing's
happening, though. So, when Aunt
Jodi said she was going to
Ontario, California over in the U.S. to see her boyfriend, Albee, I
got to go along.
Aunt Jo is sitting across the aisle from Dawn and me with James, one of my other little cousins. He's Jodi's son. Then, behind then is Jodi with Lynn sitting right by her, anxiously looking out the window.
I've never met Jodi's boyfriend, Albee. I heard he's really nice, though, and she's said she really loves him. Plus, he treats James and Lynn like they're his own children.
Oh fuck. Dawn is starting to move. I got to go.
-Hermione
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Entry
16
6-30-97
Dear Diary,
I miss everyone so much! Everything we've done here should be fantastic, but it's not! I'm laying here in this beautiful hotel room that I share with Aunt Jo and Dawn, but all I can think about is home...
I miss my cars so much! I miss all my friends terribly! I miss Mum and Dad! Most of all, I miss Harry...
I wrote a poem, Diary, a few about just missing him... Want to hear? Oh, who cares, you're MY diary and I've got the say in what I write or not...
I'm sorry. I was such a bitch right
there... Here are the poems... Actually, I can only find one. It's
titled 'Moon and You':
I look up at the moon...
And I wonder...
Are you looking at it, too?
Crying
out in the middle of the night...
I just want you to hold me so tight...
So lost and so confused... I really don't know what the hell to do!
I need to go home...
Be surrounded by all I know...
I love you
and only you...
I look up at the moon...
And I wonder...
Are you looking
at it, too?
Oh, Diary, I want to go home!!
-Hermione
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Entry
17
7-4-97
Dear Diary,
Well, Diary, I made it. I made it
through this horrible place called the U.S.A.! Well, it wasn't
horrible, it was just that I missed home so much... At least we go
home tomorrow!
I talked to Ginny and Christine
on the phone. Even called Luna
once, too. James thought Luna's
number was Harry's and he called and
annoyed the fuck out of her!
Poor Luna...(yes poor old Luna I didn't know my... I mean Luna's
voice sounded so much like B... Harry's-Erin)
Yeah. I only got to call Harry once. Even then I couldn't talk much to him. When I talked to Ginny, she said Harry started crying when he heard me talking to the, and Dawn talking, too.
Dawn's been in the habit of calling Harry and me Mum and Dad. People actually think we're her parents! She sort of looks like me in the face and eyes, then she's got Harry hair. She really does look like our daughter. If you've ever heard the song 'I'm Already There' by Lonestar (American country group), it reminds me so much of that phone call. Here, I'll write down the lyrics for you to see...
He called her on the road... From a lonely cold hotel room... Just to hear her say I love you one more time... And when he heard the sound... Of the kids laughing in the background... He had to wipe away a tear from his eye... A little voice came on the phone... And said, "Daddy when you coming home?"... He said the first thing that came to his mind... I'm already there... Take a look around... I'm the sunshine in your hair... I'm the shadow on the ground... I'm the whisper in the wind... I'm your imaginary friend... And I know I'm in your prayers... Oh I'm already there... She got back on the phone... Said I really miss you darling... Don't worry about the kids they'll be all right... Wish I was in your arms... Lying right there beside you... But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight... And I'll gently kiss your lips... Touch you with my fingertips... So turn out the light and close your eyes... I'm already there... Don't make a sound... I'm the beat in your heart... I'm the moonlight shining down... I'm the whisper in the wind... And I'll be there until the end... Can you feel the love that we share... Oh I'm already there... We may be a thousand miles apart... But I'll be with you wherever you are... I'm already there... Take a look around... I'm the sunshine in your hair... I'm the shadow on the ground... I'm the whisper in the wind... And I'll be there until the end... Can you feel the love that we share... Oh I'm already there... Oh I'm already there...
I hated Disneyland. I found it all rather boring. Universal Studios was awesome, though. Harry would have loved it! Dawn and Lynn liked playing in the Nickelodeon water thing. I have to admit, if I wasn't suppose to play Mum, I would have had a blast.
Out here in California, Diary, I never think of cutting myself or starving myself. It's just like when I'm with Harry!
My favourite part, though, would have to be helping Albee pick out Jodi's engagement ring. It's so cute! It's Belgian cut with diamonds on a gold band, so adorable, Diary.
If Harry ever proposed to me, I'd love a Belgian cut sapphire gem with a silver band. Silver is a lot better than gold, I think, but Jodi's ring is beautiful!
Well, I need to go. I
got to get up at 6 in the morning to go to the airport to go back to
the U.K.
-Hermione
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