Story: My Diary
Author: J.E.A.R.K.Potter (Jackie)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Own the plot. Don't own the characters.

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I'm getting tired of putting the summary. So, from this chapter forward,
there shall be no summary. If you love the summary so much, you may go
back to chapters 1-8 and read it, okay?

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Thanks to my reviewers!! Erin from J.E.A.R.K.Potter, scorpio-1983, BubblyBubbles365, NightDreamer13, and Miranda G. Potter. Thanks!!

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Entry 18
7-6-97

Dear Diary,

It feels so good to be lying in my own bed in my own room in my own home... As soon as I walked in the gate, Christine and Ginny jumped on me. I was so happy to see them! Then, I saw Harry riding by on his broom. I started SCREAMING! I ran to him and flung my arms around him. Evidentially, we fell to the ground in this. Both of us were on the whole 'I missed you' statements. He gently kissed me, because EVERYONE was watching us. Including Mum and Dad!! We made out way back up to my
porch and that's when I saw my little kitten, Maé Maé!! She's not little any more... Oh, Maé Maé is what we began calling her after Parvati saw her.

So, Ginny, Christine, Ron, Harry and I were on the porch talking. The adults went inside to talk, and James, Dawn, and Lynn had to go put away their things. Christine poked my sides, which drives me NUTS! I fell to the ground laughing. Only thing? I fell right down in between Harry's legs. Ron and his big mouth had to ask if Harry was going to 'get some'.

Oh, he did that all right. We almost had sex, again, all because we missed each other so much.

I know this is out of line, but I wonder how Ginny is...
-Hermione

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Entry 19
7-11-97

Dear Diary,

You'd think after the fucking last time he broke up with me I would fucking realize all the signs of it! Oh hell no, though! This time he made Christine do it for his lame ass!!

Diary, why do I fall for him every time? I have to act calm, though. I should have seen this coming. Ron did tell me Harry was going to try and get Cho...

I already broke down. I can't cry any more. He's not worth it! All he wants is his cock sucked...

I know he loved me at one point, right? At least he said he did... I really thought Harry would be different than those other boys! I wish I could just... Forget!

It'd be so much easier if I hadn't 'developed', yo know. Then I'd know guys wanted me for my personality, not for anything else!

Diary, do you think it's possible that maybe I should just be a whore? That way I'll never have to fall in love? Plus, that's the only reason why Harry 'loved' me, isn't it?

You don't know how bad I want to kill myself. Why the fuck do I have to be scared of death? I'm going to go cry, okay, Diary? Then wish I were dead...
-Hermione

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Entry 20
8-1-97

Dear Diary,

Parvati hooked me up with some guy named Justin. He's in Hufflepuff and that's really all I know about him. I wish she wouldn't have, though, because do you have any idea how torn up I am still about Harry?

This is so stupid! I want to kill myself all over some... Boy!

What do you think happened to the old Hermione? The one that never did any of the things I do. The one that's never tried the shit I've done. I miss her. I don't even think I know that poor girl any more...

Ow! On Merlin's grave! Sorry for the new stain, Diary. Well, my forearms got many more new cuts. Wonder who all is going to notice?

Sorry to you, Diary. My entries have been getting smaller and smaller, probably because I'm so depressed...
-Hermione... I think

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(A/n -- This next entry is important. Sort of... Hermione just really, really pissed off... --Jackie)

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Entry 21
8-18-97

Dear Diary,

Diary, Lavender is a BITCH!! She knows how fucking much I love Harry, yet she's now going out with him! She says she just wants to give him a chance... She's knows how I feel... Blah blah blah! It's a bunch of BULLSHIT! Just because Ron was an ass to her, it doesn't mean she has to go and date Harry! She's a fucking CUNT! I hope she dies and burns and...

Isn't this what I did to Ginny, sort of? God, if she felt like this, I'm soooooo sorry...

It's just... God, Diary! Why does it have to be Harry?

She's getting a straight up asshole for her boyfriend. He doesn't treat women right, he's obscene, and he's cruel...

Then again, he's really sweet. He can comfort you when you feel like you're going to bawl; he says the right things at the right time...

I'm really starting t hate how much I love him. Yet, I can't. I don't understand... Am I supposed to hate him or am I supposed to love him? Ron says I can have any body that I want. Of course, I don't believe him. Who could possibly want me? Exactly! No one on this face of Earth wants me!

I hope Lavender is fucking happy! Hope she looks at my goddamn wrist, the bitch!
-Hermione

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(A/n -- What do you think so far? I want come back on this... Because on paper, I've got around 21 more entries left. There's at least one or two getting added every week. I wait for 5 reviewers to review, then I send Erin what I think is lengthy enough to be the next post. I'm going to start putting in 5 entries per chapter, because I've noticed that during this time period, some of them are really, really short. She's in a depressing mood!!! Just so you know, yes, this is based off of REAL LIFE. The characters are now based off of my friends and all... the real life ones, at least. I get to play the role of Hermione. So, that's why some of the stuff is so... Personal. I know all about what's going on to her, now. Some people, like Erin from J.E.A.R.K.Potter, know who's everyone in my mind because A) she's a real life friend and B) she's just TOO SMART for her own good... Sorry for my ramblings. It's just
some of you reviewers have asked why this sometimes gets so personal. It's going to get really, really personal when we get around to Entry 40. (Hey I thought that it was entry 39 that it gets personal winks-Erin) I'm not saying what's in that entry, but yeah... It's just really personal. Okay? Thanks for your time. I hope you take just a few more seconds and review this story. After all, it is sort of my life. I like to see how you guys... Uh... React... to it. --Jackie)