Story: My Diary
Author: J.E.A.R.K.Potter (Jackie)
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own the plot.

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Thanks to my reviewers!! Miranda G. Potter (chapter 14 & 15), I own you an apology because I forgot to include you in the last thanks!! I'm sorry... Thanks for also pointing out that in Chapter 15; I called Harry Bret once on accident... Again, I'm sorry. My other reviewers who I own thanks to are missradcliffe (chapter 14), Lilli who is a new reviewer and she reviewed every chapter!! Her reviews got me over 100 reviews!!
Thanks, Lilli! Again, other reviewers who I own thanks to are Erin from J.E.A.R.K.Potter, BubblyBubbles365, and another new reviewer, Monkeyfeet180!! Thanks, ya'll!!

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Entry 43
11-6-97

Dear Diary,

They've pushed me to the last fucking straw! Diary, Ron and Ginny are going to be off in a fucking foster home because of these god damn people who don't know what the hell they believe in any more. Then, according to Lupin, I'm... Wait, he just said that Harry wasn't allowed at my house. That's the same as saying we're not allowed to see each other, really! Didn't I just get done saying that if I couldn't see Harry; I was just going to kill myself? Yes... I believe I did...

You see if I don't have Harry, I have nothing. He helps me get through life! Seeing his face in the morning makes me get through my classes knowing that when I get back into the common room, I'll see that face looking at me, smiling as he talks to Ron while I'm watching him as I talk to Ginny. It might sound corny, but it's true.

Oh, Mc Gonagall and I got into another fight. She fucking scratched me and was hurting me! I can't tell, though, because I do still like Mc Gonagall. She's like a mother to me when I'm at school. The fights we get into are just mother/daughter ones, you know... Only Ginny knows about our fight and that's because she was right there when it all happened.

All of this is my fault you know that? If I weren't a witch or if I wasn't alive, everyone in this entire world would be better off from me not being here. Harry could live his love life in peace, Ginny could have a better friend who didn't take her for granted with her
feelings, Ron could live his life knowing that he didn't have sex with someone who is like his little sister, Luna could live her life without someone always asking her for advice on what to do in her screwed up life, my parents would only have to worry about themselves... See what I mean? Everyone would be so much better off if I was dead!!
-Hermione

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Entry 44
11-7-97

Dear Diary,

Well, someone came around and asked me a bunch of questions about my eye and why it was so scratched up. I've been raised not to lie to adults but this one... Well, I did tell the truth to, but I guess I wasn't supposing to. This man, Ken Becker, was a Social Worker for a school, if that's what you'd call it. Someone had reported what happened to my eye... Yeah... I hope Mc Gonagall doesn't lose her job because of my nitwitted mind!!

Most of the day after I got home, I hung out with Grace, Dudley, Harry, and this girl who live around where I live, Kayla and her cousin, Ashley. I did NOT like the Ashley person. First off, she likes Ron. Second off, Harry thinks she's hot. Third off, she let Harry be all
over her in front of me. Forth off, she thinks Harry's hot, too!!! Grrr... Yeah. She's a prude, though. She does nothing with the guys except let them grab her breast and that such. Sorry. You really haven't seen me in this type of mood all of your life, have you, again sorry. Really I shouldn't be mad. I mean, I have no claim on Harry (I know I do
in my mind, though), do I? He's allowed to do whatever or whomever he wants... AS LONG AS I'M NOT AROUND!!

That brings me to trying to get Grace home. You see, she wasn't really supposed to come back to Devon with me. She was suppose to go to muggle London... Harry wanted to take my Red Ragtop, because Grace lives in a muggle community part of London, and you're not allowed to use magic to get there. It's blocked off from things like floo powder
usage. Plus, we didn't have any in stock. So, Harry had the keys to my car and my cell phone. When he got my cell phone, we were standing there, at first our hands held there for a second, but quickly both of us pulled away. We seriously were about to kiss, I swear, then Harry said, "Uh... Thanks, Hermione. I need to get Grace home. Thanks!" then he rushed out the door. --sighs--

OH!! The little asshole called me Cho... TWICE! Twice in one bloody day! Once when we were down in the field, playing Quidditch. Well, I wasn't. Dudley, Harry, and Grace were. I've stuck to my refusing to play that stupid game. It's got no meaning to it, really, it doesn't. Then, back with the cell phone, when he asked for it, he called me Cho... Again. He's lucky he had the come back of, "I'm sorry, Hermione. I didn't mean to call you Cho. I'm sorry. I just haven't been around you lately. I'm sorry. You're the Hermione..." then I could have sworn he said, "You're the Hermione I love," but I can't be positive any more about what Harry says.

Yeah... Grace talked to Padma. Padma thinks that Grace likes Harry. Do you think that Grace likes Harry? There's always a possibility, but Grace goes for guys that are
like... Three or four years older than we are. I don't think she likes Harry...
-Hermione

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Entry 45
11-10-97

Dear Diary,

It's my entire fault. It's my entire fault!!! Padma and Ron broke up today, and it's my entire fault!!!

I guess that Padma got a hold of you, Diary, and she read all of you. All... Of... You... That means she read about Ron and me kissing and Ron and I having sex!! She was crying like crazy, Diary!

See, I ruin everyone's lives!! Ron was planning on breaking up with Padma, according to Harry when we called her, but still...

Padma said she doesn't blame me. How can she not? I'm the one who didn't tell her boyfriend was cheating on her with me sometimes. Not a lot, but still... I'm a horrible friend. Just go ahead and say it, Diary. I am a horrible friend. I am a horrible friend...
-Hermione

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Entry 46
11-11-97

Dear Diary,

Is it bad if I have almost no memory of the past three days? I can remember barely anything... No more memory for me, I guess. I'm hoping I can remember it at least in two days...

Anyways. What I do know is that I went and got Harry supper. He was stuck up in the common room, working. He was starving!! Well, Mc Gonagall told Harry that sure, she'd have the house elves bring Harry up something to eat. Was it the house elves? No. It was me. Me me me... All because they know that I'll give into giving Harry anything in the world... --sighs-- I hate having a mind that works like that at times.

I sat by Ron and Harry today in this one class we all have together, luckily. I was... Well, sort of listening into their conversation. You got to remember, in 5th year, this would have been normal for me to do, but now, it's different. We've all shifted off to our own places...Ron to being the player of his own sort and Harry being a player of his own sort. Then there's me... Well, I heard them talking, right? I heard Harry say something about leaving a fucking vampire mark on Cho's neck? What the bloody hell... I can figure that it is a hickey, but mate, what guy leaves a vampire mark?

You know how I'm obsessed with Harry, right? I went through a whole sheet of parchment with writing "I (L) Harry" on it in really small writing. Ron found it, Diary, and plans on showing it to Harry. I wasn't even done with the back of it!!!!

Before I forget, since I seem to be doing that a lot lately, I got some of the pictures back from the dance. I still have to switch with Padma and Parvati... I have no picture of Harry and me together. I have one of Harry being a hippogriff (don't ask); Harry and Ron; Parvati and her boyfriend, Justin (no, not the one I dated); Ron and Padma; Sara; Sara humping a plastic pumpkin; Christine (I got that while I was at home); Sara's date (I forgot his name...), Sara, and Padma all sitting on each other; Sammi (Mum's cat); Patches (Dad's cat); Padmé; Crookshanks; then Sara and Padma together, acting like they're lesbians. All of them were rather good, I'd say. I just want to get one of Harry and me together. Yes... Just so I can treasure it in my own little world as I hang it up on my mirror wishing that the picture were happening right then and there... :D
-Hermione

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Entry 46
11-15-97

Dear Diary,

I can't be pissed at Ginny for my own stupid things. At least Ginny is cool enough to at least say it! Anyways, when it's just Ginny and I playing Quidditch, I really don't care. So, we decided since we were bored, we'd go play some Quidditch... Some reason, I guess I was just in a weird mood, I made her bet whoever won had to go total slut around
Harry. First time, I should have won because she had a mistake and since we have a messed up way of playing the game, she wasn't suppose to hit the post with the quaffle and she did. So yeah... We got angry at each other so we played another game. This time, she lost twice, but won once. I lost once. So that again got us tied. We resorted to the muggle game of rock-paper-scissors. Pathetic accuses for talented young witches, I know. We did best two out of three and she won. She told me she wasn't going to do that, though, and I really hope she doesn't. I mean... Okay. That was just an accuse to let myself be... Well, seductive. A tease I'd rather say... That way I could just blame it all on the stupid bet, you know!!

I feel like crap. You know why? I'll give you three guesses and the first two don't count. BINGO! I miss Harry is the correct answer! Your prize is... Sorry, Diary, no prize. Except for if you count me rambling on about how comfortable Harry's shirt that I wear to bed practically every night is... Sorry! Well, I need to go. Mum is coming up the stairs to tell me to shut off the light. See how well I know my mum?
-Hermione

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Entry 48
11-15-97

Dear Diary,

God damn it, Harry! He called me up on my cell phone a little after midnight and asked me to sneak him over some of Dad's liquor from the cabinet. Lupin doesn't have the stuff and wizards can't magic up muggle alcohol (which is stronger than wizard's). So... Who's got the muggle parents? I do! Do you know how fucking COLD it is to run about ten blocks in an over-sized hoodie, tang top, and SHORTS in the middle of November? With two cans of alcohol, might I add, in one of the over-sized pockets on the over-sized hoodie I through on after I went outside and noticed it was a tad bit chilly? Exactly my point... Damn it, Harry, you might have got my sick again!! Why do I love you? You make me run things like that to you in the blistering cold! He's so lucky I love him...
-Hermione

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Entry 49
11-15-97

Dear Diary,

I know, shut up and go to bed, right? Harry and Will, his friend, just left with pizza and eggs. All I really wanted to say is: Harry asked me if this had him in it (duh!) and he said he was going to go to a store in town to buy condoms... Why the bloody hell would he tell me that? I'm pretty sure I'm going to bed, now, okay? Sorry again, Diary...
-Hermione

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(A/n -- If I don't update this for a while, it's because I have 'writer's block'. Actually, I'm just up to the point of life that the character Hermione is based off of is at... LoL. So, I guess that counts as writer's block, right? -- Jackie)