A Series of Totally Random Events
Goku was scrounging around the remnants of Mt. Juliet High. Suddenly, Goku was surrounded by a hoard of Amish people.
"You destroyed our rum silo!" yelled an angry Amish man.
"No I didn't," said Goku, "It was Brandon Sanford."
The hoard of Amish people turned and started to charge toward Brandon. Brandon had just began to regain his composure when he saw the hoard of Amish people charging toward him, he was about to start running when the Amish bowed down to him.
"You have the greatest beard we have ever seen," said an Amish man, "We will serve your every whim."
"Take me to Goku Thunder!" said Brandon as the Amish hoard picked him up and carried him to Mt. Juliet High. Brandon demanded his hat back and once reunited with the purple, feathery head cover, he searched around the Mt. Juliet High wreckage for Goku. Goku was looking for the source of power when Brandon pulled up in a brand new Gallant GTZ and challenged Goku for a rematch, Goku rolled his eyes and just when he was about to accept, Brandon's car was crushed by a large, obscene object. It was Debbie; he had fallen out of orbit due to his fatness. The force of the fall caused Debbie to power down to Anthony Rios.
Anthony was then blown away by a powerful force created by a furious Brandon, with a five-foot beard. On the ground was Billy the Magical Hobo and Ben the Mime, crushed from the weight of Anthony and cringing from the sight of Anthony's large buttocks.
"You pathetic people," said Brandon as he picked up Ben and threw him in the same direction as Anthony. Billy had managed to find Goku.
"Goku," said Billy, "Brandon has come to destroy you. You have to leave this place. You should take haven in the nearest Taco Bell!"
Goku followed Billy's advice, and the two of them went to the nearest Taco Bell, which also doubled as a KFC.
There they found Anthony and Ben, plotting and sharing a bucket of the Colonel's Spicy Barbecue Chicken. As Billy and Goku ordered their tacos, they sat next to Anthony and Ben, and began to think of a way to defeat Brandon. Goku had thought of a way to defeat Brandon, but it would mean certain doom for Anthony and Ben.
"Man, I don't care," said Anthony, "just as long as that (bleep) goes with us."
Ben gave a silent nod as a hoard of Amish people, carrying Brandon's battered GTZ entered. The Amish hoard ordered a hoard of tacos and chicken. The man running the register totaled the price as 9,672,896,273.45. Brandon was outraged by this statement and destroyed the man and the kitchen.
"Gasp!" gasped the four heroes as they sprang into action. The heroes, together, felled many Amish people after Amish person until Brandon's GTZ fell to the ground. His five-foot beard stretched out of the window and grabbed Ben. Ben, in an attempt to escape, became a Super Mime. This is what Brandon wanted, his beard began to engulf and digest Ben the Mime.
Ben the Mime could not call for help, so he was easily defeated. Brandon's beard grew five more feet and became neon green, due to the absorption of Ben's power.
"No!" said Goku as he saw Brandon step out of his car to join the fight.
The majority of Brandon's Amish hoard had fallen to Goku, Billy, and Anthony. Brandon walked toward the three fighters, absorbing any Amish in his path.
Anthony was the unfortunate person to walk in front of Brandon. Brandon tapped Anthony on the shoulder.
Anthony said, "Man, what the (bleep) do you want, you (bleep bleep bleeeeeeeeeep)?"
Anthony was suddenly engulfed by Brandon's ten-foot beard. Brandon's beard took another transformation after it had digested Anthony. The beard grew another ten-feet and became fatter and able to cuss.
"Goku, go back to Mt. Juliet High and find Brandon's master," yelled Billy, "I'll take down Brandon."
Goku followed this command and flew to Mt. Juliet High to destroy Brandon's master.
Billy used his magic to make his beard longer and sexier than Brandon's. Billy was immediately flocked by over 100 hot girls, wearing swimsuits. This seemed to infuriate Brandon, so he absorbed all 100 hot girls and his beard became a little longer and was given a swimsuit.
"Ugh!" said Billy as Brandon jumped on top of him.
Billy's beard picked up Brandon. Brandon struggled in an-
Join us again next week for another action packed episode of A Series of Totally Random Events!
The End
Sorry I can't finish the story, but I am being attacked by ninjas and there has been a budget cut. (I think I have a concussion.)
