Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: Okay, I know I made Bella like Snape, but my true ship is Narcissa/Snape, just figured I'd clear that up. Thanks for the review Naoki you're the best-Cole
I have never known love, never. My parents do not love me, my friends, no one. Only Pansy loves me, but her love has made me love. For love begets love and Pansy's love melted my heart. I loved Pansy, I still do. She has denounced my offer of freedom, but I still love her. I love her perfect smile, her perfect midnight hair, her perfect crystal eyes. But more than that, I love how she can still feel. I love her true smiles, I love her eyes when they light up, I even love her tears as sick as that may sound. I love her tears because in order to cry you must feel, and when she cries I know that she feels, and I love her for it.
I know that I seem numb, lifeless, cold. I understand that many say my heart will never melt, that I am simply a body with no soul, a vampire. But they are wrong. I am not numb, I feel happiness, joy, fear, anger, and pain. My heart has melted, I fell in love with Pansy, we didn't think it was possible, but somehow, we have found our other halves.
I am willing to give up everything if it means I can be free. I have lived in this hell for so long, I have fought these inner battles for eternity, and now I want out. I've always wanted out, but now it is urgent, if I don't leave now I will be forever branded a Death Eater. And that can't happen, I won't let that happen. I will not be my father, I will be my uncle. I will be my Uncle Sirius reborn, but I will not die as he did. I will live and I will fight and I will make sure that the world does not crumble around me. Because for so long I have watched as the world slowly falls apart, for so long I have feigned indifference. And I can't do that anymore.
I know the world may shun me because I constantly degrade and criticize their beloved Golden Boy. I understand that most of his friends hate me for it. But I also understand that he doesn't. I see the sparks in his eyes whenever we fight, whether it be physically, magically, or verbally. I see the gratitude in his demeanor, he's happy that someone isn't asking him to save the world, he is eternally grateful to me because I offer a relief. I give him a chance to vent his anger and to feel human. No one else sees it but then again noone else is exactly like him. I am. I know that I am exactly like the boy who lived. I know that I go through the same pain, the same misery. I know that he is being smothered with his responsibilities, the pressure the world has put upon his shoulders. I know his pressure, because I have felt it too. In a way, I am Voldemort's Harry Potter. But unlike Harry I'v found a way to break free. Harry's been looking for a way out since he was eleven and he's never found one. But I have a way out, and I'm going to take it.
You may think that I am the heartless Prince of Slytherin they make me out to be, but you are so very wrong. I laugh and I cry just like everyone else does. I am not as far gone as many believe. I've lived with chains bound tightly around me for too long. I am going to break free.
