For copyright and disclaimers, please see chapter 1


23 – Classes, Week 40, First year

Monday, May 24, 1999:
Hogwarts, Wayne suite: 08:15

Selina looked up from her notes as Bruce came out of their bedroom. Smiling, she sauntered over to her husband, and played with his tie, saying, "I wish I was going."

"So do I. It's going to be hard enough not ripping that idiot's head off," he murmured.

"Clark and Dick will keep an eye on you."

"Yeah. How are you doing on your jailbreak?"

Selina sighed, "This entire wizarding world seems so complacent. Would you believe we haven't seen one guard looking OUT of the prison? They seem to work on the 'lock 'em up and forget 'em theory." She sighed, then brightened, "At least Mattie seems to be doing as well as could be expected, but she's lost about ten pounds."

"We'll get her out. One way or another," Bruce promised. He kissed his wife, adding, "Next week's her birthday, after all."


Monday, May 24, 1999:
London, Ministry of Magic, Minister Fudge's office: 08:30

"Here we are, Mr. Wayne. The Ambassador and I wish you good luck. I'll wait out here for you."

"Thank you, Mr. West," Bruce replied, shaking his hand. "I don't anticipate this taking too long." He smiled at the secretary, telling her, "Bruce Wayne, to see the Minister. We have an appointment."

Bruce advanced toward the Minister, hand outstretched, while Clark trailed along, carrying his bag. The minister's eyes flicked toward it, ignoring Dick, who took up a parade rest position near the door. The young Auror on bodyguard duty looked him over, her shocking green hair spilling over the shoulders of her gold robes, and licked her lips. Dick shook his head slightly, raising his left hand to show his wedding ring. They eyed each other, reading: cop.

"Minister Fudge! How kind of you to take time out of your busy schedule," Bruce said as he shook hands.

Fudge seemed somewhat disappointed there wasn't something left in his palm afterward, but carried on. "What can I do for you, Mr. Wayne?"

"Well, there seems to be a small mix-up with my daughter, Minister. She somehow disappeared while giving testimony about a terrorist; then was declared dead." Bruce shook his head, adding, "It's so difficult to get good help these days. My information has her alive, but in your prison on Azkaban Island. I'd like to get her out of there, next week's her birthday, you see."

"Ah, well, you see, Mr. Wayne, there's a slight problem," Fudge said. "Your daughter was convicted of attempted murder using the killing curse. You see, I can't possibly release her."

"I'm sure that's simply an error in the records, Minister. After all, from what I've heard, from several very reputable sources, mind you, she was drugged with twice the recommended dosage of your truth serum. Why, she could hardly stand, and the guards had confiscated her wand!" Bruce leaned forward, adding, "How could a ten year old girl cast a spell, much less one of these killing curses, when she couldn't see to aim a wand she didn't have?"

The green haired guard looked at Fudge with shock, but Bruce wasn't finished. As the Minister hemmed and hawed, he smiled; standing and asking, "My information has your wedding anniversary next Tuesday, the first. Isn't that right, Mr. Fudge? Well, I'm sure that your wife would appreciate the present YOU'RE giving her."

Clark stood, walking over and dropping the bag on the Minister's desk. The oak desk shuddered and creaked, while Clark unzipped the bag, extracting a dirty black rock from it. He dropped it on the Minister's parchment-covered desk, and a loud 'crack' was heard. The Minister stared at the dusty, dirty rock on his desk. Clark grinned, and said, "Allow me to clean that up for you, Minister." He casually picked the grapefruit sized rock up with his left hand, and dusted it off. Taking it in both hands, he smiled and started to squeeze.

With a loud creaking and groaning noise, the rock disappeared into a dust cloud. After a minute, Clark waved the dust away, and an orange sized diamond lay in his hand. He tossed it from one hand to another, holding it up to the light, where it reflected around the office. "Pretty, isn't it?" Clark asked with a smile, before putting it down amid the dust and debris on the Minister's desk.

"That's an interesting parlour trick. Does he juggle, too?" Fudge smirked.

Bruce smiled, "No. Now, about my daughter…"

"Well, there are enormous difficulties involved; after all, she was convicted…"

"Wrong answer, Fudge!" Bruce snarled; all pretense gone. He reached across the Minister's desk, dragging him through the papers and holding him up by the collar with his left hand. "I want my daughter returned to me, alive and healthy, with her good name restored, or else!" He shook the small man as he dangled from his fist, feet kicking. The Auror started forward, but Dick put his hand on her shoulder, stopping her and shaking his head.

Fudge squeaked, "Are you threatening me?"

Bruce pulled him eye to eye. He shook his head, "That's a promise, Fudge."

Clark cleared his throat, and held out the diamond. As Fudge watched, he closed his fist over it, and with a popping noise, it was reduced to dust and tiny slivers. A foul smell came from Fudge's robes, and a small yellow trickle came out of his trouser leg. Bruce smiled, seating the minister on the battered desk.

Clark tisked, "Such a mess," as he scooped up meteorite debris in his hand. With a flex of his shoulders, he extracted a thumb-sized diamond from the mess, and tossed it to the stunned Auror.

Bruce dusted himself off, and as he strode by the girl, he said with a smile, "Write your sister, Ms. Tonks. She's been depressed since her room-mate was imprisoned."


As Mr. West got up, Dick held up his hand, and put an ear to the door. With a grin, he interpreted the faint shouts coming from the other side. "Fudge wants her diamond. Tonks is refusing, loudly. Wait, here she comes!" He scooted over to stand next to Bruce, and turned with a puzzled look as she stormed out the door, gold robes flapping. You could see a large white stain on the back of her robes as she pulled them off with a snarl. Bruce smiled at her, asking, "Ms. Tonks?"

She took a deep breath to calm herself, asking, "Are you going to Hogwarts?" Bruce nodded, and she asked, "Mind if I join you? I'd like to see my sister for lunch."

"Not at all," Dick said.


Tonks stumbled out of the fireplace, grumbling. She looked up, and caught her sister's hug, asking, "How've you been, Squidge?"

Sprink shrugged, "I've been better. How's life in the Ministry?

"It's been better. Merlin, what's that?" Tonks said, looking at the large model.

"Azkaban prison," Babs said. "It's a live model, you can watch as guards move around."

"Merlin! How'd you …"

"Nymphadora," Bellatrix said. She asked, "Should she see this, or should I obliviate her?"

"Aunt Bella? What's going on?"

"We're planning a jail break," Dick said. He looked at Sprink, placing his hand on Tonk's shoulder, asking, "Can she be trusted, or shall I remove her?"

Tonks flicked a look at her sister, asking, "Is what I heard true?"

"Yeah, it's true. I was there; I took out a dementor that was trying to drag her off." Sprink scrunched up her face, saying; "Ugh. Dementors taste like old, rotten meat. Blech."

"Is there a Bean for that?" Tonks asked. "How'd you get this? Nobody knows where Azkaban is, much less the layout. Blimey, even the Minister doesn't know!" She shrugged off Dick's hand, and circled the table, muttering, "Gor blimey!" She looked up, asking, "How do you know who's who?"

"Sources we'd rather not name," Lois said. "I take it the Minister was less than persuaded?"

"He pissed himself, for what it's worth," Tonks admitted. "If that will convince him, I don't know. He's probably talking to that fat toad Umbridge now." She stuck a hand in the pocket of her jeans, and passed something to her sister. "Look what I got from your mates."

"Ooh, pretty, " Lois admitted as Sprink held it up. "Ten or twelve carats, I'd guess," adding, "He's mine, girls, so hands off." She sipped tea; asking, "How big was the Minister's?"

"The size of an orange," Tonks said. "Then he crushed it with one hand, you could see Fudge wanted to cry. He's a greedy bastard." She looked at Lois, asking, "How can I help?"


Tuesday, May 25, 1999:
Hogwarts, Wayne suite: 08:50

"I wanna go! You guys need me!"

"Miss Tonks," Minerva said, "You cannot go for the same reason that we turned down Professor Potter. Your animal form is too large. We require stealth on this mission." She gazed fondly at the girl, adding, "Off to History with you. Will I see you tonight at the DA?"

"Yes, ma'am," Sprink said, slinging her book bag over her shoulder. "You'll let me know?"

"When we know something, I will inform you. Now shoo, Severus and I expect at least A's and E's on your examinations next week, that is why we allowed you to stay." Minerva smiled as the door closed behind Sprink; asking, "Are we ready?"

"Selina's waiting for you in there," Bruce said. "Your phone is set to vibrate?"

"When it does, I find a quiet place, open it and press the green button, correct?" Minerva asked.

"Correct. Red ends the call. To call me, open it, press the number one, then the green button," Barbara said. "I'll answer, and we'll go from there."


"Welcome to Azkaban Island, ladies," Clark said with a smile as he set down. Selina just grinned, while Minerva let out a quiet "Oh, my!" Selina was already examining the heavy wooden door in the stone wall. Clark told her, "It's a store room, but the door's blocked on the other side." Selina passed him some oil for the iron hinges as the two women huddled at the bottom of the stone staircase, escaping the bitter wind. She stepped aside as Clark finished and gazed at the door; then inhaled, causing the door's hinges to creak as they opened for the first time in decades. Clark motioned at a small opening at the top of the pile of wooden crates. "Follow that along for about twenty feet, you'll come out in the store room proper. When you leave, three small cats should be able to squeeze out. I'll leave the door propped open about a foot. Good luck." Minerva nodded, and raised her wand, transfigured Selina into a light grey cat with yellow paws.
"This is … very strange," Selina mewed to the tabby cat next to her.

"You get used to it," Minerva said. "Until you become adjusted to being a cat, simply follow my lead." She paused, leaping over an opening in the air duct they were following. She waited for Selina; then continued, "It was an excellent idea to use these, but we shall need to return to the corridors as soon as possible. There are supposed to be acromantula in here." Selina mewed, and Minerva clarified, "Giant spiders."


"If we have the chance, I want to check on those two children near the warden's office," Minerva said. "They remind me of twins, a boy and girl, kidnapped several months ago in Cornwall. By the by, I never found out about the autopsy on that girl Fudge tried to pass off."

"Dr. Phillips did it, with Miss Pomfrey's assistance. She was apparently a muggle that was killed after she'd been picked up by someone at the Ministry. He packaged everything up very neatly in her coffin, included a copy of his notes, and Harry dropped her off in London at the city coroner's office." Selina miaowed in amusement at Minerva's glance, "There was nothing to indicate Hogwarts. The only thing a bit unusual, according to Dr. Phillips, is that they'll be able to tell an American did the autopsy, instead of a Brit. From what he says, there are two different styles of doing the incisions on the head." Selina shuddered, adding, "I try to keep him from explanations like that."

"Understandable. Here we are, block D. Downstairs to nine, now."

A tall form in tattered black robes went by, ignoring the two cats, and Selina asked, "What's that?"

"That was your first dementor. Had you been human, it would have hovered over you, feeding on happy emotions until you were a withered husk. There are apparently only two known ways to kill one," Minerva said, warming to her topic. "The first is what Miss Tonks and Miss Johnson did in court, rip out their throats. The second way is Mr. Potter's: shove your wand in their mouth and conjure a Patronus. In both cases, they scream while exploding into dust, while the souls of those they have kissed are released." The small calico cat shuddered, adding, "Horrible things, dementors."


The circular stairway was lit by a guttering torch on each landing. As they reached level nine, Selina glanced in her daughter's cell, but couldn't see anything in the dim light. They crept through the bars; the girl was hanging by her back-bound chained wrists over the stone platform. She cackled madly, saying, "Hello, my pretty, pretty pets. Come to mother, now; let me give you a caress, Here, kitty, kitty… Come my pretty kitties, come on, that's right, up we go." Selina looked at Minerva, she felt herself commanded to jump up, to walk along the narrow ledge, to climb on her daughter's taughtly stretched back, toward her shackled hands, Minerva following behind… "There we go; such a good kitty, nice kitty, just one little word, pretty kitty, 'Imperio!'"

With a small 'pop', Minerva changed form with a "Miss Wayne!" while Mattie said in a normal voice, "Mom?"


"What are you two doing here?" Mattie asked.

Minerva snorted, "What do you think; we're rescuing you, silly goose. Why are you casting Unforgivables, and how are you doing it without a wand?"

"Professor Harry said that it was legal to cast them on Beasts, so I've been …" Mattie suddenly hissed "Guard!" and started to sing as Minerva transformed back with a 'pop'.

"Hello, Wayne. I see your repertoire hasn't improved." He opened the door, waving a crumpet; singsonging to her, "Want a crumpet for tea?" With a hiss, a grey cat jumped off the shelf, snagging the crumpet and running out the door. The guard muttered, "Bloody cats," and drew his wand.

"Hey, asshole!" Mattie called to the guard, "Aren't you forgetting something?" He looked at her; then shrugged. She licked her lips; then looked up at him. He chuckled, undoing his pants while approaching her open mouth. She pulled back, and spat in his eye.

"You little bitch!" he shouted, backhanding her; blackening her eye. She shrugged as he slammed the cell door, and started to sing again, "I'm a little teapot, short and stout…." She continued singing, then stopped, asking, "Professor? I've told mom it's safe to come back."

"Well, that was … interesting," Minerva said as she reappeared with a pop. "What was that with the guard?" The grey cat reappeared in the cell, and Minerva waved her wand, saying, "Finite Incantatem."

"That wanker has been trying to get me to provide oral sex since I arrived at this wonderful place, and withholding food when I wouldn't," Mattie said. "He's also the one that chained me like this, as additional 'persuasion'." The grey cat snarled, and Mattie said, "I'm sorry about that, mom, but I thought you were a cat. Forgive me?"

The grey cat walked over to her chained daughter, purring and rubbing against her shackled legs. Minerva harrumphed, and said, "We'll say nothing else about it, but I felt a distinct compulsion when I entered the cell."

"Part of that's my perimeter charm, Professor," Mattie said. "Sprink taught me a neat little trick with it, to tie it into your sense of smell. That's why I detected you, by your smell, and also how I sensed that wanker coming." Minerva nodded, and Mattie continued, "The rest of that is a combination of legilmancy and Imperious, but I don't use it on the guard, at least not yet."

"Not yet?"

"For my escape, Professor," she said, "I haven't figured out how to do it without using Imperious on a guard. Right now, I'm using it on the cats for intelligence gathering." She shrugged, "Not much else to do but exercise my mind and plan my revenge on Fudge." Her eyes glittered, and she asked, "How's everyone?"

"Your father met with Fudge yesterday, to offer him a rather toothsome bribe. When Fudge wanted more, your father and your uncle Clark converted it into a rather stern warning." Minerva smiled grimly, adding, "I wish I could have seen it, from all accounts, Fudge…"

"Guards! Three guards and the warden!" Mattie hissed, then started singing, "Little Mary Sunshine, all about …" as Minerva transformed again. She continued to sing as the warden stopped outside her cell.

"Wayne? Wayne? Stop singing, Wayne!"

"Why, hello, how nice of you to drop by. I'd offer you a cuppa, but my tea set seems to have wandered off," she started to whistle, calling, "Here, tea set! Here, boy! Come on, little tea set, stop hiding from mummy."

"Wayne!"

"Why, hello, how nice of you to drop by. I'd offer you a cuppa, but my tea set's wandered off again." Once more, she started to whistle, calling her tea set. One of the guards muttered, "Barmy, she is."

"Wayne! I. Don't. Want. Any. Tea."

"Oh, well, what about some scones? I've got some fresh in the oven," Mattie said, then blinked, looking around the bare stone cell, adding, "I'm so sorry, luv, I seem to have misplaced my scones, and my oven." She started to whistle again, calling her oven.

"Wayne! I. Don't. Want. Any. Tea. Or. Scones. Pay attention, now!"

"Why, certainly, luv," she seemed to settle, asking, "What can I do for you?"

"Minister Fudge, in his generosity, has decided to grant you a pardon. You will be released immediately."

Mattie looked at him, twisting her head side to side; then said, "I'm not going without my suitcase."

"You don't HAVE a suitcase!"

"I most certainly do! It's the grey one, there on the top shelf of the airing cupboard!"

Another guard whispered, "She's barmy, all right," while the warden said, slowly and distinctly, "That. Is. A. Cat."

"Suitcase!"

The warden threw up his hands, giving the papers to a guard, telling them, "Make sure that Miss Wayne's 'suitcase' is included," while she started singing "Country road, take me hoooome, to the plaaaace I belonnnng! Mountain Maaaaamaaaaa, take me hoooome, West VirGINya! Mountain Maaaama! Counnnntreeee rooooaaads, taaaaake me hoooome …" The warden stalked off while the guards sighed and entered the cell, and the cats yowled at each other.


Mattie had switched to Jimmy Buffet as she was bound. With a yowl, Minerva left to check on the twins near the warden's office as Selina the 'suitcase' cat joined Mattie in the longboat.
"Oh, my!" Minerva said to herself as she saw the two young children. They were chained by the neck to steel beds with a thin mattress and blanket. Waving her wand, she invoked spells; then transfigured the two sleeping children into kittens. She placed them in a small wicker basket; then transfigured the thin bedclothes into false children. Holding the tiny basket, she crept out of the cellblock.
"Mr. Kent," Minerva said as he appeared. He nodded, and she said, "Miss Wayne was pardoned earlier today; her mother is accompanying her in the longboat as a cat. I thought I'd best rescue these two tykes."

She shivered, and Clark picked up a rock, glancing at it and putting it in the basket under the blanket to warm the kittens before picking Minerva and her kittens up. Aloft, Clark told Minerva, "I see the longboat; they'll reach the dock in about two hours." He added, "I hope you don't mind a bit of diversion, there's something I need to handle." She nodded, and blinked in surprise as he shimmered into a red and blue outfit, changing course as the world blurred beneath her.


With the 'crack' of a sonic boom, Minerva and the basket of kittens were left on the bank and a red and blue blur dove into the icy water. She staggered, looking around at the dirty, hardhatted men lining the bank. A hand reached out to steady her, a voice asked a question.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Ah, engrish," the man said. "Welcome to China. You know Superman?"

"I teach his daughter," Minerva replied, disconcerted.

"Ah." There was a rapid patter of Chinese, and several deep bows. "We are most honored teacher of most honorable Superman's daughter visit People's Republic and Three Gorges Dam. Please excuse." With an explosion of water, a dozen men surfaced, and the crowd converged on them, medical people in the lead. Minerva followed along, quietly drawing her wand, basket of sleeping kittens on her arm. Superman was already bending over one man, trying to breathe life into his lungs. Quietly aiming her wand, she whispered, 'enervate' several times, as men coughed and sat up.

"What happened?" she asked someone.

With a deep bow, he answered, "Road collapse. Machine sink." With another deep bow, he hurried off. Superman kept working on the one man, while the others were bundled off to waiting ambulances. He finally coughed and waved his hand, and Superman sat back. Minerva hurried over to him, as an official spoke to him in Chinese. Superman said something, smiled at Minerva as the official shouted and waved. He leaped into the air, diving back into the lake, surfacing with a bulldozer, which he carried over to a vacant spot of land. As he retrieved the rest of the equipment, Minerva watched, jaw agape.


Once again safely aloft, Minerva said, "Mr. Kent, we need to talk."

He sighed, and flew upwards. "The longboat's still on course, although the wind's picked up a bit." He smiled, adding, "Let's go someplace private." She nodded, and he said, "Do not, under any circumstances, let go of me." She nodded again, and he shot upward.


Once the steel door had hissed closed behind them, Clark said, "You can let go, now."

"We're on the moon?" Minerva said with a touch of disbelief. "Can Miss Wayne do … what you do?"

"Unfortunately not, Severus asked the same question. I'm the last of my bloodline, the last of my race; the people of the planet Krypton." He guided Minerva into the medical bay, nodding and saying, "Kyle, Jennie, this is Minerva." Jennie waved from the examination table as a purple beam bathed her ankle. Clark leaned over, whispering "Sprained ankle". He closed a door behind them, saying, "I'd like to examine the children. If you could transfigure them back, but leave them unconscious, please." He patted the gleaming steel table as Minerva pulled a kitten out.


"Can you treat them?" Minerva asked.

"I can, but I don't know how that might affect their magic," Clark replied. "I've mapped their injuries and DNA, but that's as far as I dare go. I'd like to get them into Miss Pomfrey's care, especially since we've broken them out of jail." He nudged a stack of paper to Minerva, adding, "I'd better call in to Babs."


"Would you wait here for a moment, Minerva?" Clark asked. She nodded, and he vanished, as she moved to look out the window at Earth.

"Y'know, no matter how many planets I visit, there's something about Earth," Kyle said. Minerva turned as Jennie made a small sound of agreement. Kyle extended his hand with a smile, saying, "We weren't formally introduced earlier, which is unusual for the Boy Scout. I'm Kyle Rayner; this is my girlfriend Jennie-Lynn Hayden."

"Minerva McGonagall, I am one of Miss Wayne's teachers in Scotland," adding, "'Boy Scout'?"

"One of Clark's nicknames," Jennie said. "He's so honest and pure, which, given that he's strong enough to juggle planets, is a good thing." Minerva staggered a bit in shock, and a green energy hand supported her. "You didn't know?"

"No, I … I am not very up to speed on the muggle world, it seems."

"Muggle?"

Minerva drew herself up, and extended her hand, saying, "Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress and Professor of Transfiguration, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." She took a breath, asking, "Can … can Miss Wayne produce that green hand?"

"Mattie Wayne? The Bat's kid? No, she's human. Very, very human, although her family is downright frightening," Kyle said.

Jennie nodded emphatically, "Between the two of them, bearing in mind that Clark can vaporize cities with a glance, we're more frightened of the Bat; we're on good terms with Bruce." She shuddered, adding, "I would not want to be in the same solar system with a pissed-off Bat and a pissed-off Superman." She looked at Minerva, and started to cry, "Oh, my God, oh, my God! Someone was stupid enough to do it." Kyle folded her into a hug, asking, "What… Who?"

"One Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Kyle," Clark said, steel in his eye. Jennie whimpered, burrowing deeper into Kyle's arms. Clark passed Minerva a gallon zip lock bag of moon dust; then offered her his arm, asking, "For Severus. Shall we return?"


Tuesday, May 25, 1999:
The North Sea

"Oh, dear, the longboat's empty," Clark said. He dropped Minerva and the kittens in the half-swamped longboat, diving into the icy water. A whirlpool started to form, slowly drawing Minerva down. She screamed, "Mr. Kent!" and the longboat flew out of the water. With the crack of a sonic boom, Minerva reappeared in the Wayne suite, with Clark looking haggard.

"Clark, where's my wife and daughter?" Bruce asked, standing. Minerva gasped to herself, she could see the shift in Bruce and the Clan, and she understood why Jennie was far more frightened of Bruce than Clark.

'Six little words,' she mused, and screwed up her Gryffindor courage. "Do not be blaming Mr. Kent," she said, and the Clan's gazes switched to her. She swallowed, adding, "We had agreed this was a covert mission. Fudge offered Miss Wayne a … a pardon, and Selina decided to accompany them in the longboat. Mr. Kent was keeping an eye on them, but an emergency arose in China. When we returned, the boat was empty. Mr. Kent dove into the water, but…"

"I searched from the sea floor on up, for two hundred miles, Bruce. There is no trace of their bodies, or any debris, from the sea floor to orbit; no trace."

"Minerva, would you perform a finder spell, please?" Bruce asked, voice shaking.

"Point me, Mattie Wayne," Minerva said, and her wand spun, pointing.

"The North Sea?" Clark said. He stood, and looked that direction, shaking his head. "All I see are oil platforms." He frowned, adding, "There's a bit of blockage from x-ray equipment, but nothing looks out of the ordinary."

"Point me, Selina Wayne," Minerva said, and Clark shook his head. "I don't see either one of them. We'll have to triangulate their position again."

"I shall drop off these children in the infirmary, and fetch Professor Potter straightaway," Minerva declared. "We can start in a minute."


Tuesday, May 25, 1999:
BP helicopter, the North Sea

"Twenty minutes out," the pilot called to the controller on the platform.

"Roger that."

"Longboat in trouble!" someone called, and the pilot changed to a search, while the copilot called the platform. "Someone's in it!" The pilot changed to a hover, fighting the strengthening winds.

"Litter ready!" the crew chief said, and rode the winch down with it. Lying in the boat was an unconscious, rope bound girl, wearing what looked like a filthy school uniform. A grey cat sat next to her, and hissed. The chief managed to get her strapped into the litter, then asked the cat, "You coming, luv?" She jumped in, and he buckled himself to the lift, riding it up into the chopper. "Go!" he screamed at the pilot, who turned, flying for the platform and safety.


Tuesday, May 25, 1999:
BP oil platform 'Sunniland Alpha', the North Sea

"Blarrgh."

"Get it out, luv," the doctor said. The girl retched again, and the doctor made approving noises.

"Cat?"

"Your cat's fine, she's in my office, creating a terrible row," the doctor said, and was surprised when the girl tried to struggle to her feet. "Now, now, nothing will happen to your cat."

"Cat. NOW!" the girl said, and she started to lurch toward the office.

The doctor said, "All right, I'll get your cat, but only if you promise to rest." The girl eyed the doctor, but couldn't keep awake. The doctor sighed; then let the cat out from her office, where it bolted to sit on the girl's bed. The doctor told the cat, "You're not much help. I've got to get those wet clothes off her, and get her cleaned up." Surprisingly, the cat meowed, jumping to the next bed to watch the girl.

"Helpful little thing, aren't you?" the doctor asked the cat as she removed the filthy grey skirt, shoes and jumper. As she removed the blouse, she looked at the crest on the girl's jumper again, asking herself; "Where have I…" Returning to her patient, she mused, "Well, now, what have we here?", as she fetched a camera, photographing the scars on the girl's wrists and ankles; photographing fainter scarring on her neck. "Is that malnutrition or deliberate starvation? Hmm, now why would you be carrying these if you were being held prisoner somewhere, dear?" The doctor removed the equipment belt from the girl's slim waist, adding, "Curioser and curioser, a rod of some sort, hidden in a sheath along the spine." Adding it to a box with other equipment, she removed a similar, empty sheath along her left forearm, before cutting off the girl's bodysuit. Removing that, she noticed a watch, adding, "Rolex, not only are you right handed, dear, you're a rich girl, and another watch next to it. No hands on this one though. Wonder why?"

The doctor picked up the boots to store away, noticing something concealed inside. She extracted a sheathed knife from each, pulling one to examine it. Shaking her head, the doctor asked the cat, "You know why this girl is a walking arsenal, but has the scars of being confined somewhere. Was she held hostage somewhere?" The cat just looked at her with her green eyes, the same shade as … yes, the doctor checked, the mystery girl.

Pulling up the neckline of the bodysuit as it was cut; the doctor found and removed two crystals on pendant necklaces. Taking a cloth, the doctor cleaned under the soiled undergarments, tossing them in a separate bag. She took samples of the girl's waste; then bagged the ruined and filthy clothing. Telling the cat, "Move, you!" she transferred the girl to the clean bed, stripping and tossing the soiled sheets across the ward.

The girl moaned, and the doctor said, "Good girl. You're safe here; let me listen to your lungs. Cough, please." The girl did so, the doctor adding, "You've got a bit of water in your lungs, dear. Can you cough it up?" The girl raised her eyebrows, and tried. The doctor pulled up the sheets and blanket, asking, "What can you tell me?" The girl coughed again, making a scribbling motion. The doctor handed her a pad on a clipboard, saying, "Here you go, dear." The girl fumbled with the pencil, then scrawled, 'email?'

"Want me to send to your rellies, dear?" The girl nodded violently, her head weaving.

"Write on, dear, I'll read it back." The girl wrote, 'to – babs / oraclesecure net, subj – m + s'. The doctor asked, "Send it to a person called 'babs' at oraclesecure? I can't read the last bit, dear." The girl wrote NET and the doctor added, "The subject is 'M and S', is that right? What's the body?"

The girl coughed again, this time getting some out into the basin. She croaked something that might have been 'Thanks'. She waved her pencil, and the clipboard was brought back into range. "Both alive, on location? Status? School?" The doctor asked, and the girl nodded, waving toward the office as the cat moved into her arms, purring.


Tuesday, May 25, 1999:
Hogwarts, Wayne suite

Bab's laptop 'pinged', and she checked, raising her eyebrow. "Guys, we've got an email!" she called. Clearing her throat, she quoted,

To: babs at oraclesecure net.
From: Dr. Janet Callahan (British Petroleum)
Subject: M + S

To whom it may concern:
A short time ago, a half-drowned young girl and her cat were rescued from a foundering longboat in the North Sea by one of our helicopter crews. They are both in our medical bay, and are in reasonable condition.

The girl is floating in and out of consciousness, and asked me to send this email, presumably to her rellies. I quote:

Both alive, on location? (The Sunniland Alpha oil platform medical bay.)
Status?
School?

The rescue of this girl has raised several questions in my mind. I would appreciate your reply as soon as possible.
Sincerely,
Dr. Janet Callahan

Clark looked at Dr. Phillips, and held out a hand.


Dr. Callahan clicked 'Send' for her mystery patient's email; then turned to reopen her patient's box of odd things. She started at a rap on the door, and a deep male voice, "Dr. Callahan?"

"Yes, I'm Dr…... Superman?"

He smiled slightly, "We got your email. This is Dr. Phillips, our family physician. Would you like to discuss your patient?"

"Family physician for … Superman?" Dr. Callahan realized her jaw had dropped, and shook her head to clear it. "You must have some interesting tales to tell, Doctor."

"One or two, but … confidentiality Doctor. What's her status?"

"Still has a bit of water in her lungs, but she's been coughing it up. I don't want to force-ventilate her, because … " the two doctors dissolved into a spate of medical jargon, and Superman moved away, pulling out his cell phone.

"Babs? Yes, I'm ten feet from her. The doctors are discussing things now; I'll have him get back to you. She's got a bit of water in her lungs, I would guess at least overnight. Right. Right. Tell him I'm sorry I got him worked up. No, Selina's lying on her chest, purring. She said what? Okay, when she wakes up I'll tell her. Right. Right. Can I talk to my wife?" He looked at the two doctors, they were oblivious. "Love you, dear. Yes, she seems to be doing okay for now. Right, I'm standing ten feet from her. I'll call Perry. Right. Love you. Bye." He disconnected; then cleared his throat, finally walking over to the two doctors. "How's she doing? What's the prognosis?" He looked at Dr. Phillips, and said, "Call Babs, please, doctor. Dr. Callahan?"

"Yes, please, um, Mr. Superman. Can we use my office?" He gestured politely, and followed her in, gently closing the door. "Well, um. First of all, this rather throws me. Is she Kryptonian?"

"No. She's one-hundred percent earth human. She's somewhat, well, she's my god-daughter, if you must know." His hands twisted the steel visitor's chair with a squeal; he blushed, saying, "Sorry."

"Quite all right, it's understandable to be worried about your mate's kids. If I may, I understand you're married, Mr. Superman. You can't…? Um, er?"

"No, unfortunately not. There are quite a few problems there, starting with the … um, male … um, issue, and then there's …" he blushed deeply, and she thought, 'Gor Blimy, I've embarrassed Superman!'

"So, what happened, with, um?"

"Her name's Mattie," Superman said quietly. "She was kidnapped, held hostage for political gain, and when her father, her Clan and I…" He sprang out of the chair, and started to pace, and she caught a glance of his face. He put his hand out, grabbing the heavy steel bulkhead, and started to squeeze, breathing deeply. She yelped, and called, "Superman!"

"Sorry. Sorry. It's just that … she's as close to a daughter …" Dr. Callahan dared to put a hand on his shoulder as he sat again, face buried in his hands. He looked at her, eyes red and burning, and smiled, "You must think me an awful wimp."

"Not at all," she said, offering him a box of tissues. "I truly pity the fool he's going after," she thought. "So, why is she a walking arsenal?"

"Because her captors were both complacent and foolish," he said. "May I take those with me?" She nodded, and he smiled, "I'm afraid I can't be more detailed than that, Doctor." He reached behind him, and pulled out a great dirty chunk of stone. "I apologize for the mess, Doctor. This is my form of stress ball." He gazed at it, rubbing it as he continued to talk, "One problem with being Superman, Doctor, is where do you go to blow off steam?" He nodded at the crumpled bulkhead, adding, "I'm truly sorry I lost a bit of control, there. However, when one punch can destroy a planet, where do you go?" He flexed his shoulders, adding, "There's no place I can really let loose, you know? Added to that, well, my wife would really like to have a kid, and I'd love to help her with one. She understands, though, that it would kill her, but when we see kids in the park…"

"And now, with your god-daughter kidnapped…" Dr. Callahan nodded, patting his shoulder again. "What about in-vitro…no, forget it."

"Kryptonian sperm, human ova?" Superman shook his head, adding, "The problem of a suitable host mother arises, and I won't ask any woman to make that sacrifice for my selfish needs. Besides, can you imagine the 'terrible twos'?"

"True," she said with a small chuckle, adding, "Where'd you get that rock? It doesn't look like your cape would hold that much."

"A bit of Kryptonian tech, it's a dimensional pocket. I have about thirty in there. It's nice because I can do this to them," and with a ripple of muscle, he handed her a diamond the size of a goose egg. With a soft inhalation, he gathered up the debris, depositing it gently in her plastic office wastebasket, and opened the door for her.


"Oy, Charlie, Jake!" Dr. Callahan called softly. They turned, jaws dropping, and she said, "Mr. Superman, I'd like to introduce the two blokes that fished her out. Charlie's the pilot; Jake's the fellow that went in after her."

"Gentlemen, thank you. If you hadn't seen my little girl, I …" Superman clapped them on the shoulder as he shook their hands. Jake eventually said, "Superman, mate, t'weren't a problem."


"Dr. Phillips?"

He looked up, "Yes, Superman? I thought I'd stay here for the night. Let Janet have a bit of lie-in tomorrow." He smiled, saying, "Sometimes I feel so useless, you know?"

"Believe it or not, so do I; Doctor. You have your cell phone?"

He nodded, saying, "Have a good evening."


Thursday, May 27, 1999:
BP oil platform 'Sunniland Alpha', the North Sea

"Hey, Doc! How's my little sis?" Dick asked, as Kyle and Jennie stood back.

"A lot better, Dick, but be quiet, she's sleeping again," Dr. Phillips said. Dr. Callahan wandered over, and he made the introductions.

Dick asked, "When can she go home, Doc?"

"If she'll go into a medical facility, I'll release her tomorrow morning," Dr. Callahan said, and Dick nodded. There was a soft moan of "Dick?", and Dr. Callahan darted behind the screen, only to wave them in. "I'll leave you alone, but no more than five minutes!"

"Yes, ma'am," Dick replied, sitting on Mattie's bed. She was wearing well-laundered scrubs, and Jennie sat on the other bed, asking, "Aren't those the most comfortable things?"

"Yeah, much better than flannel nighties," Mattie agreed, asking Dick, "How'ya doing? Where's mom?"

"Sleeping on the other pillow," Dick said with a gesture. He glanced at Kyle, asking, "You met Minerva, I understand?"

"Yeah, that is so cool!" Jennie said. "The Bat's kid is a genuine witch!"

"Shhh!" Dick hissed. He poked his head up, and said, "Jennie, Kyle, I have to confess to an ulterior motive, here. This is the second time Mattie's been kidnapped this year, and I'd like her to have a bit of extra protection."

"What does Dad say about that?" Mattie asked warily.

"Never you mind about Dad, little sis. I'm your big brother; I'm going to stack the deck in your favor as much as I can. I can't see Bruce or Selina complaining, if they do, they'll deal with me," Dick said as he turned to Kyle. "There's an Oan ring in the weapons vault. It's dead, and there's no battery for it, we think the owner was on Krypton when it exploded. What will you charge me to bring it up to speed for Mattie?"

Mattie's jaw dropped, "Dick, Kyle, no! I don't want a power ring!"

"Dick, I vote with Mattie," Dr. Phillips said. "While I'm all in favor of increasing her safety, I think she's already got quite a bit on her plate. Besides it makes her an even bigger target."

"The only problem is that Kryptonite radiation is difficult to remove from an object," Kyle said. "You don't want to give a long-term dose or Clark exposure to the radiation, do you?" Dr. Callahan called, "One minute!", and Kyle said, "Look, we'll be here to help all of you get to school. We'll let you know, for now you," he pointed at Mattie, "need to rest." He stood, along with Jennie and Dick, as Dr. Callahan's shoes were heard on the deck.


Friday, May 28, 1999:
BP oil platform 'Sunniland Alpha', The North Sea

"Well, I must say that this has been a unique experience," Dr. Callahan said. Her eyes flicked to Jennie and Kyle, both in 'uniform' and hovering slightly above the deck.

"You have my gratitude, Doctor, for your assistance, and a shoulder I could borrow," Superman grinned. "Would you be kind enough to pass on something for me?" he asked. "It's a map of the oil field you're currently in, and the location of some nice mineral deposits. The platform's location is marked on it, and I've got a sample here for your helicopter crew, a small souvenir." He extracted a map from his cape, then a large chunk of wet rock, where minerals gleamed. "It's about three hundred pounds, from a half-mile or so down. There's gold, titanium, a bit of silver, and some tungsten there." He smiled, saying "It can't hurt their job security." He set it down with a 'thump' on the deck next to the bulkhead.

"You ready to go, munchkin?" Dick asked, and Mattie nodded, Selina riding on her shoulder. She stood, braced herself against her brother, throwing her arms around Dr. Callahan, whispering, "Thank you."

"My pleasure," she smiled. "Now, I want you in bed for at least a week when you're back in school," she said.

"Yes, ma'am," Mattie said.

Dick handed Dr. Callahan a small envelope, saying "We don't forget our friends, Doctor. Give the Clan a call if you need our help." He shook her hand, and they were gone.

Dazed, Dr. Callahan looked at the chunk of wet rock on the deck of her sickbay, and plopped down at her desk, looking at the gleaming diamond, perched on a makeshift stand. She opened the envelope, finding a simple business card with a phone number, and the name, 'Oracle'. Turning it over; on a black background was the yellow outline of a bat.


Friday, May 28, 1999:
Hogwarts, Infirmary

"Mr. Morton! What happened to you?" Madame Pomfrey asked as he limped in on Professor Harry's shoulder, then she turned, her mouth open.

"I turned wrong to avoid a hex…" Arthur said, before he followed to look with the others.

"I said ya should go to the DA meetings Arthur," a weak, raspy voice said.

"Mattie? Superman?" Arthur said.

"What are we, chopped liver?" a young woman asked as figures flew into the room.

"Jade, Lantern?" Harry asked.

"See? Advertising does pay off!" Dick said, adding, "New York's too expensive. I keep telling you two to move to Bludhaven, you'd have more fun. Hello, Arthur, how's school going?"

Arthur's jaw hung open, and Dick reached over to close it with a finger. He shook himself, asking, "Where have you BEEN? People thought you were dead!"

"Azkaban," Dick replied, adding, "Arthur, Harry, I know I can rely on your discretion on certain … personal matters, eh?" Green Lantern and Jade had changed back into their civilian personas.

"Of course, Mr. Grayson," Professor Harry said, while Arthur simply nodded.

"Excellent! Let me see if Madame Pomfrey is ready for you, Arthur."


"We want to see her for oursel', mate. Surely y' understan'?" Ian said to Clark as he stood outside the doors to the Infirmary.

"I do indeed, Mr. MacDonald. However, Madame Pomfrey has prescribed bed rest, and that's what she will have," Clark said. "If Miss Tonks sees her, will that do for now?"

Ian nodded, and Clark told Sprink, "If Madame Pomfrey throws you out, out you go, understand? No more than five minutes, now." She nodded, and he moved to let her pass.


"Hey, Sprink, you look like hell."

"So do you, mate," Sprink hugged her, adding, "Merlin, I missed you!"

"So did I," Mattie said. "Go ahead, sniff away." As Sprink smelled her, Mattie apologized, saying, "There wasn't any place to bathe, I know I'm really ripe. Satisfied who I am?" Sprink nodded, and Mattie concentrated, saying, "Accio scrubs."

"You did that without your wand," Sprink said, surprised.

"Yeah, the Ministry confiscated mine. I wonder what happened to it?" She smiled, and said, "I'm sorry, but Pomfrey won't let me be there with you Sunday night. I wore these on the oil platform, they're really soft." She grinned, adding, "Try not to shred them, all right?" She looked up at the sound of Pomfrey's heels, and held out her hand for Sprink. "See ya Monday, all right?"


Friday, May 28, 1999:
Hogwarts, Great Hall: 12:08

Susquehanna Tonks, a first-year student and member of Slytherin House, strode into the Great Hall and up to the high table. Interrupting lunch, she said, loudly and clearly, "Despite what the Ministry of Magic and that idiot Cornelius Fudge say, my housemate, Miss Helena Martha Wayne is alive, and is in our Infirmary. I have smelled her; I know this to be true." She pointed her wand at the frowning portrait of the Minister of Magic, and declared, "This is what I think of our esteemed Minister: Incendio!"