Cyril Smedley

The phone is still making that clicky sound,' Monica said to Chandler when he got home. She had only recently got home herself after the wedding dress shopping and had set about putting the house to rights before Chandler brought the twins back from the babysitter, a task that pushed said Julie's weird behaviour. Her mind had been running to other things that needed tidying up, things she couldn't actually do, the phone being one of them.

The phone had been making odd noises ever since it had been repaired after breaking down for no reason. Getting it repaired so quickly, unbelievably quickly was good, but whoever had done it seemed to have left some kind of fault in it and it was annoying her.

It doesn't matter what I do, the noise is still there. It's driving me crazy,' she said to Chandler. Chandler frowned. The twins had been put to bed over an hour before.

We only got that phone fixed last week,' he said.

It works – it hasn't broken down again but I can just hear noises sometimes,' Monica said.

I've never heard any noises,' Chandler said.

You haven't been using the phone so you don't know,' Monica said. But it's sort of faint clicks. They're not there all the time.' Chandler just looked at her. It's hard to describe,' Monica said, But I'm not imagining it. I really can't stand hearing that noise any more.'

I never said you were,' Chandler said.

Well you look at me like you think I'm imagining something,' Monica said.

No, I'm just trying to imagine what it could be. Maybe a fault on the line.'

Maybe,' Monica said. Have a listen now and tell me what you think. I want to complain but I think it's better if you complain than if I do. They'll take you more seriously because you're a man. And I don't want the phone company to say I'm imagining things.' He took the phone and dialled. Hey Ross,' he said.

Hey yourself,' Ross said back cheerfully. What's news?'

I just rang to test the phone.'

How come?'

It's been clicking. We think it might have some kind of fault.' Suddenly Chandler became aware of the faint noise in the background.

Yours too?' Ross asked, So has mine, it's been so annoying. And the man from the phone company fixed it two days ago.'

Your phone broke down too?' Chandler asked.

Yeah, totally. But I didn't even have to complain. Someone from the company came and said that they knew the phone was out because they had had trouble in my area so they were going door to door, checking up on people.' Chandler looked at Monica.

That's funny, that's what happened to us,' Chandler told him.

Not only that, two people had come to fix the phone, the one arriving after the other had done the fixing. No-one had bothered investigating why two had arrived. Monica had said that the second telephone repair man, hardly old enough to drive according to her, had just rolled his eyes at the news that someone had been there before him and said,

They never know what they're doing at head office.' The second telephone repair man had sped away, citing a long list of jobs and a hope that maybe someone had gotten ahead of him on those too.

Amazing,' Ross said to Chandler, That's a good phone company. Except for the clicking.' Chandler rang off and stared at Monica.

He had the exact same trouble we did,' he told her.

The clicking? He doesn't have the same kind of phone as us.'

And, listen to this, the phone repair man who came without being called.'

What, him too?' she confirmed. Chandler nodded.

'They don't even come when they're called, why did they come when they weren't called?' Monica stared back at him.

I called someone,' she said.

Why did they send two people to us?' Chandler asked.

Well that guy, he said it was a mistake, mistakes happen,' Monica said, but she didn't even convince herself. What are you saying Chandler?'

It's just really odd, that Ross and us have had the same thing happen. I just wonder if the company really did send those people out.'

But phone actually did stop working,' Monica said, And I did call someone.'

Yes but why did the phone stop working? And not just our phone, but Ross's phone. And why did we get a second person to come out and fix our phone? Whoever heard of a phone company sending out two people?' Chandler frowned.

Chandler do you think they were bogus?' Monica asked. She thought of the twins immediately. It was an irrational fear because why should they be in danger of anything? But her thoughts went to them first when she became afraid of something. She was feeling afraid now, but of what, she didn't know.

I don't know, but something's not quite right,' Chandler said slowly.

But why? This is too ridiculous.' It was, just too completely and utterly ridiculous.

I know.' That didn't make her feel any better. After a pause he said, Let me ring Rachel.' Rachel hadn't had any clicking. Neither had Phoebe, but both of them had had telephone repairmen turn up to fix suddenly dead phones without having to call the phone company.

He just said that there was a problem in the area and was going door to door. Mike got his ID,' Phoebe said, We haven't checked it out or anything, he just likes to be careful.'

Would you do me a favour and check up on it now?' Chandler asked. Maybe they were onto something.

If I can find it Chandler but why? He fixed the phone for free. I don't want him to come back and say we should have paid a bill,' Phoebe said. I know we should pay our debts but I don't want us to go out of our wayPlease Phoebe just do it,' Chandler said.

Okay okay,' Phoebe said. I'll do it now before I forget.' She had better not forget, Chandler thought grimly and said,

Please ring me back as soon as you find out.'

Phoebe rang back in twenty minutes, just as Chandler was about to call her again. He and Monica had been pacing the room, discussing the problem. This all had to be some kind of coincidence didn't it?

They've never heard of that repair guy. They never sent anyone out to us. They never knew we had a problem,' Phoebe said. That's so weird. It's like this guy was just passing and sensed we had a problem. Although I don't see anything weird about that. People can be sensitive to electrical currents and of course telephone company work would be great for people like that.' All he had to do was find a fake uniform and ID, Chandler thought.

What was his name?'

An odd one, Cyril Smedley,' Phoebe said. Of all the bogus names to pick, why that one?