Chapter 1
By Crystal Snowflakes
Author's Notes: Another chapter up... Enjoy!
Disclaimers: Rurouni Kenshin belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and not to Crystal Snowflakes :(
Soujiro woke up early, despite the fact that they didn't have anything to do. After folding his futon, he turned around to glance at the girl who was sleeping peacefully in her futon. He studied her intensely, as if trying to find his truth in one absolutely normal girl...
Shishio-san said that the strong survive and the weak die... But then, why did I save her? Those men were stronger than her, for sure... Shouldn't they have killed her? Even if not, I should have killed her... I am stronger than her... Demo... Himura-san...
He shook his head as he sighed. "If I keep thinking like this, I'm going to drive myself crazy... They're both confusing enough as it is. Both of them, Himura-san and Shishio-san... Thinking will do nothing but confuse me more... I have to find the answers..." All the while muttering that, he opened the shoji quietly and walked out the balcony, unaware that his smile had disappeared. It was now replaced by a frown... So deep in thoughts that he was never aware that the girl he had shared his room with had woken up and has been studying his form the whole time...
She had heard him mumble to himself, although she knew not what he had said... At first, she thought that it was something insignificant that he was complaining to himself about... But as he stood out on the balcony, she watched his smile falter, and finally diminish. It had, to a point, scared her. Although she has only known him for half a day, and for quite a few of those hours, they were asleep, she had gotten used to his constant smile...
...And now, it was gone. Vanished. He looked very serious indeed... And somewhat confused. Biting her bottom lip in decision, she stood up and approached her quietly... Once in reach, she touched his arm gently.
His body had stiffened and his hand laid on his hilt, as if he was about to unsheathe the sword.
"Ohayo Soujiro-san. It's Toshiko." She said, smiling.
His stance had relaxed visibly. Maa maa... I was so deep in thoughts that I did not hear her approach... I should be more careful, although this helpless girl can't do anything to me anyways... Perhaps my skills are getting rusty though...
"Gomen nasai... I didn't want to intrude on you and your thoughts... You had me worried for a moment there though."
"Worried?" He asked, giving her a momentary look. "Why should you be worried?"
Toshiko blinked, "What do you mean why? I'm worried because I care." She frowned slightly, "Since I've known you, although not long, you always have that smile on your face... It's like a mask, I guess... Perhaps to fool the world... But... When I don't see it, I know something is wrong... I can see the underlying sadness in that smile..." She gave a sad sigh and a small smile. "Neechan used to always look at me like that... And one night, that smile just left... The next day, she left for Kyoto."
Seeing the pained look on her face, he gave her one of his Tenken smiles. "I'm all right. Don't worry about me, Toshiko-san..." ...I'm not someone that deserves someone else's worrying.
"Usotski... Sometimes, people need someone to worry about them, you know... I know I'm not someone you can trust because of the time we've known each other. Demo, at least tell me what's wrong..."
He shook his head, "Iie..." He looked back at the scenery, "I can't tell you. It's better if I don't burden you anyways... Once I get you to Himura-san's safely, I'll be leaving again..."
"Do you not trust me or—"
"It's not that I don't trust you, Toshiko-san... I am not someone you think I am. I am not any innocent civilian with a katana at his side..."
She shook her head furiously, "It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks! You saved me. I know you're not some cold-blooded murderer!"
You don't know how wrong you are, Toshiko-san...
"And now, you make it seem like I'm your burden! Once I get to Neechan's, you're just going to leave me there? If that's the point, I really don't need your help, Soujiro-san." She bit the insides of her mouth, her eyes darkening.
Although he had no emotions himself, he could feel the emotions around him quite easily. Sadness... Why is she so pained by my refusal? He sighed softly, "It's not that I don't trust you... It's just I can't bring myself to tell you..." His smile was gentle now, "And you aren't a burden, Toshiko-san."
"Why can't you tell me then?"
He turned around and laid a hand on her shoulder, "...If you knew, you are going to abandon me. And I can't have that. I want you back to Himura-san safely."
"Iie." Her head was bowed down, her eyes hidden by her bangs... But when she looked up, her eyes were slightly wet... "No matter what you did, I really won't care. I want to know and I want to get to know you more... I won't abandon my first friend..."
First friend...?
"I was never allowed to go out because of the Bakumatsu..." She explained, "And when the war ended, I had already lost interest in going out to play with other children. I was always lonely. I was always interested in book and I always helped around the house because it was only Otousan and I... Neechan and Niichan never returned..."
Lonely...? Her?
"...The only time I ever went out was when I had to get groceries, and even then..." She smiled sadly, "Even then, I never talked to anyone. My father died soon after... Soujiro... Although we've met for so little time, you're my friend... The one and only friend I have." She gave a soft sigh, "I won't abandon you." She had dropped the honorific, not because she wanted to, but simply because she thought that it sounded... right.
One and only friend?
"And plus..." She gave another smile, this one brighter. "...The past is always the past. You can't change anything... Today's the most important day of your life since yesterday doesn't belong to you anymore and tomorrow is nothing but an illusion... So if today is well, every yesterday will transform into a happy memory and every tomorrow would be a vision filled with hope." She recited softly.
The past... is always the past... He embraced her softly, and whispered in her ear, "You're my friend too." He gave a smile, this one, different than all the others he has given. "I'll tell you one of these day, but not today. I'm not ready yet myself... But when we reach my hometown..." He paused, "Is that all right, Toshiko-san?"
She nodded her head slowly, her head at his neck, "Toshiko, Soujiro... Not Toshiko-san." She smiled.
"Hai, hai, Toshiko." He continued to embrace her, her scent engulfing him... It had really been the first time that he had such a close contact with any human being...
They stood there for several minutes, embracing each other in silence...
The former Tenken smiled, his eyes closed and whispered very softly, "Arigatou..."
She did not understand how she could find such comfort in a person she has only met for a day... He was strong, yes... But... When she watched him, she felt her heart race... And when his smile had disappeared, she felt her heart tug...
She knew for a fact that this was not a normal friendship she felt. Although she has never had a friend, she knew that this was different. All she wanted at the moment was to be with him. She didn't care how his past was... She didn't care if he was someone who had wanted to kill everyone or destroy the entire Japan. She didn't care if he's felt the warmth of many women in bed...
Soujiro was having an internal struggle with himself... Having told her he was going to tell her his past, he was trying to think of how to tell his story without telling her that her brother-in-law was the infamous Hitokiri Battousai that everyone still fears...
Their long embrace was disturbed by someone knocking at the shoji. Soujiro gave Toshiko a small smile before he slid it open.
An adorable girl was standing at the doorway... She was wearing a purple kimono as she stared wide-eyed at Soujiro. A few seconds later, after understanding dawned on her, she blushed furiously. "Gomen nasai! I thought this was Okaasan's room..." Bowing, she hurried to the next room and knocked on the door. When she heard her mother's footsteps approach, she looked at the man standing at the doorway and gave a timid smile, "Ne, Oniichan? You're kawaii." She flushed, then rushed into her room the second her mother opened it.
Soujiro turned around to look at Toshiko with a bewildered look on his face.
Toshiko's face was filled with amusement and laughter.
"Maa, maa... Were you like that when you were young?"
She failed miserably to stop her laughter and replied with difficulty, "I've never been so straight in my life! I've never seen someone so bold!" Her laughter erupted again as she watched Soujiro's dumbfounded face, "You look absolutely hilarious, Soujiro!"
His grin widened at the sight of her happiness... Why do I feel so good, knowing that indirectly, I caused the happiness for this woman? Why do I feel as if I am impregnable...?
"So where are we heading today?" She asked.
"I'm going to go get some food while you get ready... We'll get a job on our way to Kyoto. We need to get you a new kimono."
She smiled brightly, "Honto? I want to get you a new set of clothes too then, Soujiro-chan."
"Chan?" Soujiro grinned, a somewhat evil glint in his eyes. Picking her up with unbelievable ease, he dumped her on her futon and began tickling her everywhere.
She laughed, hardly able to speak, "Sou...jiro! Yamero!" She laughed again, "I mean it! I'm going... to be... really..." She giggled, "mad!"
He stopped, knowing she had enough, another wide grin on his face. He couldn't remember being so happy... He couldn't remember enjoy life so much...
As she quieted down, she glanced up and noticed Soujiro's thoughtful face just inches away from her own... and blushed.
Upon realization, Soujiro jerked her head backwards and sat on the floor.
"Ano..." Toshiko looked at the ground, embarrassed.
He stood up and headed towards the shoji, all the while wondering what he was feeling... Shaking his head, he turned around and gave her a smile, "I'll be back in an hour."
She nodded, slowly. "Hai. Be careful."
"I will." As he stepped out to the hallway, he gave her one last smile, and slid the shoji shut.
Toshiko blinked, confused. What the heck was that?
Usotski - Liar
Author's Notes: Done! Another chapter done! Yay! Anyways, next chapter should be up within a few days. Hope you look forward to it! Oh, and the kissing scene has been removed in this chapter because... well... I personally think it was too early... So we'll have a kissing scene later :P
-Crystal Snowflakes
Sunday, March 27, 2005
