Chapter 4
By Crystal
Author's Notes: Some of you may wonder why I haven't mentioned the name of Soujiro's hometown, the truth is, I don't know it. So I'll leave it, don't want to get it wrong now, do I? =)
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*
Soujiro woke up smiling and looked at the sleeping girl next to him, head on his shoulders. He sighed, he'd have real trouble not waking her up and standing up. He tried to slowly move his shoulders away and stopped immediately when he felt Toshiko move. 'Darn.'
She wiggled a bit and opened her eyes slightly, to get used to the dim light. "Ohayou, Soujiro..."
"Ohayou. Another two to three hours until we reach the next town." He stood up, causing Toshiko's head to connect with his right shoulder.
"Itai! Soujiro no baka!" She grabbed a rock and threw it at him, which he evaded easily. "Baka! Don't move!"
He did not know what to do, and kept saying "Gomei nasai!" but she paid no heed to his words, only tossing rocks at him. He'd fight anyone right now, even Himura-san, if it meant that Toshiko was going to stop throwing rocks at him. He couldn't possibly scream at her to stop, that was just not his style, and he wouldn't do it anyways, it WAS his fault that she was hurt in the first place. But no way in hell was he going to stop and let her throw rocks at him, who knows how long she'll throw them until her temper goes now? By then, he might already be dead. He kept dodging.
Finally, tired of throwing useless rocks, not even a single one hit the mark, she gave up. Without a single word, she folded the blanket up. Soujiro took the bags up and looked at her confused, scratching behind his head. She turned around and gave him a smile, "Come on, Soujiro. I want to hurry up and make it to town for lunch!" Seeing the expression on his face, she added, "And no, I'm not mad, just don't do that again. It really hurt."
"Hai, hai" And started walking beside her having little conversations about random topics.
With their speed, they arrived at the town a little over two hours. Once they entered town, Soujiro's pace slowed considerately and Toshiko noticed, since she had begun paying more attention to him than anything else. "Soujiro...It's all right if you don't want to stay here, we can continue right away on our journey without stopping. I'm not tired, and I certainly won't make you tell me your childhood if you don't want to."
Toshiko wanted to back up a step when she saw the hatred and anger on his face, but stopped herself. 'He needs someone to care right now. Don't abandon him when he needs you most.'
"I can't think of how that could be considered a childhood." His voice as cold as steel, then recomposed himself, "Gomei, Toshiko. Don't know what came over me." What she didn't know was that he wasn't mad at her, or his foster parents for that matter. He was made at himself. For killing. Killing those people that were his family, but also mad at god because of whatever he did, his family was never satisfied, never.
"Iie, don't worry about it. I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it." She gave him a smile and clasped his hand in hers, then frowned, "I can't even picture what you've been through..."
'I can't even picture what you've been through.'
'The strong survive and the weak just die.'
'Soujiro, what did you mean when you said 'you didn't protect me then'?'
'Is it really that wrong to be weak? If you believed what you just said, why didn't you protect me then? Why?!'
'Soujiro...Soujiro! SOUJIRO!!'
'Himura-san, I don't care what is right or wrong.'
'Iie, I'm not right. The strongest isn't always right. That's what Shishio thinks.'
'Himura-san, you're not going to make this easier for me. You're a harsher taskmaster than Shishio-san.'
'Soujiro has broken.'
'At least Shishio-san gives me all the answers.'
'Soujiro, you're still young, you can find the truth and the answers.'
'Like you?'
'Like me.'
'True, I may have been smiling that rainy night... but... The truth is... The truth is... I was... The truth is I was crying...'
Toshiko was calling his name, when he suddenly became aware of his surroundings. He clutched his head and bent down, Toshiko doing the same beside him, embracing him. He whispered quietly, but loud enough for her to hear some of the words, "H-Himura-san...You were right...I never wanted to live the life of a killer. I regretted all the things I've done. I didn't want to kill. I never did. Shishio-san, remember I told you I wasn't crying that night I first killed? Well, I did...I was crying. And the sky was crying too. I didn't want to kill. I didn't..."
'Kill? I never wanted to live the life of a killer... Killer? Soujiro was a killer?' She couldn't believe it, Soujiro, a killer. That sounded unreal, but it was true. Or else he wouldn't have said it himself. He was going to tell her today, but before he could, he broke down and said it all. She wasn't mad, instead, she was surprised. Soujiro a killer...That was just...near zero. He was always smiling, even though he did have a katana, he never used it. Or at least she hasn't seen him using it. And who did he say was always right? She had missed the name of the person because of his sobbing.
She stood there comforting Soujiro, oblivious to the stares of the townsmen. And he finally quiet down and wiped away the few tears that were falling down his cheeks.
Once again the smiling Tenken. "Gomei, I didn't know what made me lose myself like that again. How about lunch? And then I'll tell you everything."
"Soujiro...You don't need to tell me. I have a pretty clear idea of what was going on. Lunch would be nice."
Soujiro looked into her eyes, no hatred, no angry, no betrayal, and most importantly, no disgust. "Aren't you disgusted? At me being a killer?"
"Iie...If everyone had a choice, they'd all be happy people living with their family. I'm just, surprised. That's all. You, most certainly don't look like a killer. At all." They stood up, and gave his hand a tight squeeze. "Let's have lunch, I'm famished."
"Hai." He smiled at her understanding. "I'll bring you somewhere and tell you after lunch." Gave her a quick hug and lead her to a restaurant.
"By the way, who did you say was always right? You said something like 'You were right...I never wanted to kill."
'Shoot.' He scowled inwardly, unconsciously, he said Himura-san's name. Good thing she didn't hear. "Err...You'll know...In time." He did not want to be the one to mention Himura-san's name. From now on, he'd have to be more careful.
"All right."
After lunch, Soujiro lead Toshiko to his old home and he traced the family name with his finger. It was no longer 'Seta' but was now 'Kuro'. It felt so familiar, yet so exotic. And knocked on the gate, hoping someone was home.
Fortunately, after a few seconds, someone came and opened the gates, and Soujiro greeted him, "Kuro-san? I assume?"
"Hai, what do you want, young man?" He asked politely.
"Well, I used to live here, and I just wanted to visit here for a while."
"Ahh...your last name is?"
"Seta..."
He shook his head, "Ah yes, the Seta family, I moved in right after them. They had a former hitokiri running loose here then, and the whole family got killed. You are?"
He was unwilling to answer the question, but answered anyhow, "Seta...Soujiro."
His eyes widened, "Ah yes, I've heard about you. The kid that was always smiling. They didn't find your corspe, but assumed you dead since the whole family was."
He shook his head, "Iie, I was alive. I got locked out to sleep that night, since I didn't finish my work that day." 'Soujiro you liar, you killed them, that's why you weren't killed.'
"Oh well, you can have the lawn, we're going out to visit my sister soon anyhow. Just close the gates when you leave. Thank you." He turned his back and walked up to the house.
"So...your family was murdered...that's why you had such a rough childhood..." Toshiko said.
"Iie...Didn't you hear me say, 'I got locked out to sleep that night, since I didn't finish my work that day'?"
"Work?"
"Aa...I was ordered to bring a hundred packs of rice to the warehouse everyday. It wasn't because my family was murdered that made me had such a rough childhood. It was they that made my childhood hell. I had no friends, I had no time. Whether or not I finished moving the rice or not, I was to sleep outside. The only difference was having dinner or not. They weren't my real family, my real family died a long time ago. They adopted me to make me work."
She sighed, so that's why he was so miserable. He had a miserable life. "Who could've killed so many people?" She was suddenly scared of the answer when a few emotions went through Soujiro's eyes. Guilt, shame and hurt.
"Me. I killed them."
Author's Notes: Ehh...I hope you guys like this. Took me a day! Less than a day! 23 hours and 40 minutes! Isn't that amazing?! LoL...Thanks for reviewing and reading. Err...and have a great night and Oyasumi! Even though I'm not going to sleep yet. Maybe in half an hour. 11:33 PM now =p. School tomorrow. *Sighs* It might take me two to three days to finish my 5th chapter, since it's a weekday tomrrow. *Sighs again* Hope you enjoy and please review! Sayonara minna!
Ohayou - Good morning.
Itai - Ow, Ouch
Baka - Stupid
Iie - No
Gomei - I'm sorry
By Crystal
Author's Notes: Some of you may wonder why I haven't mentioned the name of Soujiro's hometown, the truth is, I don't know it. So I'll leave it, don't want to get it wrong now, do I? =)
*Screw the disclaimers ^^;;*
Soujiro woke up smiling and looked at the sleeping girl next to him, head on his shoulders. He sighed, he'd have real trouble not waking her up and standing up. He tried to slowly move his shoulders away and stopped immediately when he felt Toshiko move. 'Darn.'
She wiggled a bit and opened her eyes slightly, to get used to the dim light. "Ohayou, Soujiro..."
"Ohayou. Another two to three hours until we reach the next town." He stood up, causing Toshiko's head to connect with his right shoulder.
"Itai! Soujiro no baka!" She grabbed a rock and threw it at him, which he evaded easily. "Baka! Don't move!"
He did not know what to do, and kept saying "Gomei nasai!" but she paid no heed to his words, only tossing rocks at him. He'd fight anyone right now, even Himura-san, if it meant that Toshiko was going to stop throwing rocks at him. He couldn't possibly scream at her to stop, that was just not his style, and he wouldn't do it anyways, it WAS his fault that she was hurt in the first place. But no way in hell was he going to stop and let her throw rocks at him, who knows how long she'll throw them until her temper goes now? By then, he might already be dead. He kept dodging.
Finally, tired of throwing useless rocks, not even a single one hit the mark, she gave up. Without a single word, she folded the blanket up. Soujiro took the bags up and looked at her confused, scratching behind his head. She turned around and gave him a smile, "Come on, Soujiro. I want to hurry up and make it to town for lunch!" Seeing the expression on his face, she added, "And no, I'm not mad, just don't do that again. It really hurt."
"Hai, hai" And started walking beside her having little conversations about random topics.
With their speed, they arrived at the town a little over two hours. Once they entered town, Soujiro's pace slowed considerately and Toshiko noticed, since she had begun paying more attention to him than anything else. "Soujiro...It's all right if you don't want to stay here, we can continue right away on our journey without stopping. I'm not tired, and I certainly won't make you tell me your childhood if you don't want to."
Toshiko wanted to back up a step when she saw the hatred and anger on his face, but stopped herself. 'He needs someone to care right now. Don't abandon him when he needs you most.'
"I can't think of how that could be considered a childhood." His voice as cold as steel, then recomposed himself, "Gomei, Toshiko. Don't know what came over me." What she didn't know was that he wasn't mad at her, or his foster parents for that matter. He was made at himself. For killing. Killing those people that were his family, but also mad at god because of whatever he did, his family was never satisfied, never.
"Iie, don't worry about it. I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it." She gave him a smile and clasped his hand in hers, then frowned, "I can't even picture what you've been through..."
'I can't even picture what you've been through.'
'The strong survive and the weak just die.'
'Soujiro, what did you mean when you said 'you didn't protect me then'?'
'Is it really that wrong to be weak? If you believed what you just said, why didn't you protect me then? Why?!'
'Soujiro...Soujiro! SOUJIRO!!'
'Himura-san, I don't care what is right or wrong.'
'Iie, I'm not right. The strongest isn't always right. That's what Shishio thinks.'
'Himura-san, you're not going to make this easier for me. You're a harsher taskmaster than Shishio-san.'
'Soujiro has broken.'
'At least Shishio-san gives me all the answers.'
'Soujiro, you're still young, you can find the truth and the answers.'
'Like you?'
'Like me.'
'True, I may have been smiling that rainy night... but... The truth is... The truth is... I was... The truth is I was crying...'
Toshiko was calling his name, when he suddenly became aware of his surroundings. He clutched his head and bent down, Toshiko doing the same beside him, embracing him. He whispered quietly, but loud enough for her to hear some of the words, "H-Himura-san...You were right...I never wanted to live the life of a killer. I regretted all the things I've done. I didn't want to kill. I never did. Shishio-san, remember I told you I wasn't crying that night I first killed? Well, I did...I was crying. And the sky was crying too. I didn't want to kill. I didn't..."
'Kill? I never wanted to live the life of a killer... Killer? Soujiro was a killer?' She couldn't believe it, Soujiro, a killer. That sounded unreal, but it was true. Or else he wouldn't have said it himself. He was going to tell her today, but before he could, he broke down and said it all. She wasn't mad, instead, she was surprised. Soujiro a killer...That was just...near zero. He was always smiling, even though he did have a katana, he never used it. Or at least she hasn't seen him using it. And who did he say was always right? She had missed the name of the person because of his sobbing.
She stood there comforting Soujiro, oblivious to the stares of the townsmen. And he finally quiet down and wiped away the few tears that were falling down his cheeks.
Once again the smiling Tenken. "Gomei, I didn't know what made me lose myself like that again. How about lunch? And then I'll tell you everything."
"Soujiro...You don't need to tell me. I have a pretty clear idea of what was going on. Lunch would be nice."
Soujiro looked into her eyes, no hatred, no angry, no betrayal, and most importantly, no disgust. "Aren't you disgusted? At me being a killer?"
"Iie...If everyone had a choice, they'd all be happy people living with their family. I'm just, surprised. That's all. You, most certainly don't look like a killer. At all." They stood up, and gave his hand a tight squeeze. "Let's have lunch, I'm famished."
"Hai." He smiled at her understanding. "I'll bring you somewhere and tell you after lunch." Gave her a quick hug and lead her to a restaurant.
"By the way, who did you say was always right? You said something like 'You were right...I never wanted to kill."
'Shoot.' He scowled inwardly, unconsciously, he said Himura-san's name. Good thing she didn't hear. "Err...You'll know...In time." He did not want to be the one to mention Himura-san's name. From now on, he'd have to be more careful.
"All right."
After lunch, Soujiro lead Toshiko to his old home and he traced the family name with his finger. It was no longer 'Seta' but was now 'Kuro'. It felt so familiar, yet so exotic. And knocked on the gate, hoping someone was home.
Fortunately, after a few seconds, someone came and opened the gates, and Soujiro greeted him, "Kuro-san? I assume?"
"Hai, what do you want, young man?" He asked politely.
"Well, I used to live here, and I just wanted to visit here for a while."
"Ahh...your last name is?"
"Seta..."
He shook his head, "Ah yes, the Seta family, I moved in right after them. They had a former hitokiri running loose here then, and the whole family got killed. You are?"
He was unwilling to answer the question, but answered anyhow, "Seta...Soujiro."
His eyes widened, "Ah yes, I've heard about you. The kid that was always smiling. They didn't find your corspe, but assumed you dead since the whole family was."
He shook his head, "Iie, I was alive. I got locked out to sleep that night, since I didn't finish my work that day." 'Soujiro you liar, you killed them, that's why you weren't killed.'
"Oh well, you can have the lawn, we're going out to visit my sister soon anyhow. Just close the gates when you leave. Thank you." He turned his back and walked up to the house.
"So...your family was murdered...that's why you had such a rough childhood..." Toshiko said.
"Iie...Didn't you hear me say, 'I got locked out to sleep that night, since I didn't finish my work that day'?"
"Work?"
"Aa...I was ordered to bring a hundred packs of rice to the warehouse everyday. It wasn't because my family was murdered that made me had such a rough childhood. It was they that made my childhood hell. I had no friends, I had no time. Whether or not I finished moving the rice or not, I was to sleep outside. The only difference was having dinner or not. They weren't my real family, my real family died a long time ago. They adopted me to make me work."
She sighed, so that's why he was so miserable. He had a miserable life. "Who could've killed so many people?" She was suddenly scared of the answer when a few emotions went through Soujiro's eyes. Guilt, shame and hurt.
"Me. I killed them."
Author's Notes: Ehh...I hope you guys like this. Took me a day! Less than a day! 23 hours and 40 minutes! Isn't that amazing?! LoL...Thanks for reviewing and reading. Err...and have a great night and Oyasumi! Even though I'm not going to sleep yet. Maybe in half an hour. 11:33 PM now =p. School tomorrow. *Sighs* It might take me two to three days to finish my 5th chapter, since it's a weekday tomrrow. *Sighs again* Hope you enjoy and please review! Sayonara minna!
Ohayou - Good morning.
Itai - Ow, Ouch
Baka - Stupid
Iie - No
Gomei - I'm sorry
