Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. This story has changed from the original timeline drastically so don't complain about people who are living when they're suppose to be dead or people dead when they're suppose to be living. . .which I really haven't incorporated into the story yet, not that I would. . .um. . .nevermind. . Oh, and don't fuss about details, I'm making Dekim's base of operations on Colony L5 because. . .well, because I'm the writer and I want to, so there! J/k.

Chapter 44

"Okay, so. . .that's the plan? Let me be the first to say this. . .you're crazy!" Duo exclaimed. Rachel, who was standing at the moment on the outside of the circle of people, looked at her boyfriend with malice after explaining her plan in detail for the past hour only to have it shot down by the very person she loved. Putting her hands on her hips, she said, "Well if my idea was so stupid why didn't you cut in an HOUR ago before I wasted all this time for nothing!"

"Hey, sorry! I guess I was too caught up in staring at you. . .you get that cute little look in your eyes when you're determined about something, hehe." Duo grinned innocently. She glared at him and he blinked, saying, "There's that glint again. . ."

"Yeah, can you guess what I'm determined to do now?" Rachel asked, her eye slightly twitching.

"Ring his neck? At least smack him in the head, please. . ." Chang commented, his arms crossed as usual. With a long and exhausted sigh, Rachel said, "Alright, what's wrong with my plan. . ."

"Well, for one thing-" Duo started into it.

"It's fine, when can we get started." Milliardo cut him off.

"What! Were you somewhere else or something? Why would going out and fighting in our present states as ANGELS all over the world be fine!"

"Well, it's a very detailed plan, you have to give her some credit for thinking it up at least. . ." Otto commented.

"Yes, and everyone will have a job. You just don't like the idea of being so far away from Rachel. . ." Heero said, glancing at Duo's red face.

"Well maybe that has something to do with my complaints but come on, people, be serious! We honestly don't know much about these powers of ours! What happens when we run out of energy and it's in just the wrong place! We could get killed!" Duo defended his opinion.

"He's actually got a point. . ." Noin said. Duo nodded proudly and cocked his chin up.

"It's reasonable. . .if it was actually a problem." Chang commented. Everyone stared at him and Duo blinked in surprise, saying, "Say what? Where have you been!"

"Meditating. . ." Chang said, his eyes closed.

"Do you think by just sitting around you can save energy? Yeah, nothing like being a lump to destroy the enemy. . ." Duo said sarcastically.

"No, Maxwell, on the contrary. . .by meditating, I can focus my powers better and lengthen the time I'm able to use them. . .with longer periods of meditation I can lengthen it even more. Over time I shouldn't have to do that anymore, my powers should develop on their own. . ."

"When have you had time to figure this out?" Rachel asked, her eyes wide with wonder.

"Between battles and discussions. While you've been busy flapping your gums I've been perfecting my abilities. . ." Chang said snidely.

"Would being a pain be one of your 'abilities'?" Duo mumbled mockingly as he gave Chang a side glare. Chang glared back and said, "If you're going to be rude, maybe I won't share my knowledge. . ."

"Woah, didn't mean to insult the master in the art of 'sitting around'. . ." Duo said with a mocking face, doing quotation marks with his fingers.

"Can we just stop bickering? We'll end up destroying each other before we can even get out of the cave!" Relena said, getting irritated by the flames being passed around. Both Chang and Duo grunted and crossed their arms, turning away from each other snobbishly. Rachel shook her head as she sighed, saying, "Well, that's great, Chang. You don't mind showing us a little of your secret, do you?"

"Not at all. . .as long as 'someone' doesn't mock me behind my back. . ." Chang commented in spite. Rachel glared at Duo and he immediately stopped making fun of Chang.

"Alright, shall we begin our training?" Rachel said, trying to smile to lighten the mood. As they formed a circle to prepare for a lesson in meditation, Relena whispered to Heero, "But Quatre and Trowa will be left out. . ."

"Don't worry, we'll inform them later. . .and hopefully they won't need the extra energy boost anyway."

"Lady Une, I'm glad you're here." Treize rose from his chair as Une entered his office, fully dressed in her uniform. She paused to salute him and said, "Sir, I got your message to come in early."

"Yes. Have a seat, I'd like to discuss something with you. . ." She confidently walked over to a chair by Treize's desk and sat down, listening as he said, sitting himself, "I would like you to head the attack wave to the Colonies."

"The Colonies? But sir. . ."

"I know our forces aren't fully ready yet for it but I wanted you to head the plans and the whole mission. You're in change."

"But Your Excellency, why the Colonies? Don't take it as an undermining of your authority, I'm just curious, it's such a change from the current plans of battle."

"I'm glad you asked. The shipment orders for these Mobile Dolls have been tracked back to the Colonies, on the L5 Colony to be exact. That is where I believe Dekim Barton's hidden facilities are located and I want you to take them out."

"Yes, sir. When can plans proceed?"

"By my calculations, preparation for the attack shouldn't take more than 2 days, so be ready to leave ASAP."

"Yes, sir." Une nodded. Treize turned then in his chair to face his desk, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the edge of it. He stared at the monitor in front of him, currently set to a view of the battle training room.

"All those soldiers. . .having no idea how close to the end we are." Treize said, his eyes sparkling with the hopes of their outcome in the battle being victory. Une watched his reaction, thinking, I can't let his Excellency down. . .we must be victorious! No matter what the cost. . .

Chang peeked open his eyes for a moment and glanced over at Rachel, finding her staring off into the distance. He closed his eyes and thought, "Rachel, can you hear me?"

Huh? What was that? Rachel thought in confusion of the voice in her head.

"It was me. . ." Chang opened his eyes and looked at her, catching her eye. She stared at him and thought with a smirk, "Oh, I thought it was just a new voice in my head."

"That's nice. . .I have a question for you." Chang closed his eyes again. Rachel did as well and thought back, "What's on your mind?"

"Haha. . .you do know I lack a sense of humor, don't you?"

"I know, I just 'thought' it'd be funny. . ."

"I'm sure. Look, I don't see why you're holding back so much on your powers. . ."

"Of course you don't, you have your eyes closed, silly!" She grinned.

"Would you be serious for just a minute!"

"Okay, fine, if I have to. I don't know what you mean by holding back, it's not my fault I keep passing out."

"I think it is. . ."

"Pardon?"

"I doubt it's on purpose but more of a subconscious reaction. You're cautious, too much for your own good sometimes. You've been having dreams about killing people because of your powers and you're scared of it happening again. . .am I right?"

"Happening. . .again?"

"Did you not lose control back at the base Ms. Relena was held captive in? Accidentally hurting Trowa in the meantime? Heero told me about what had happened and by Trowa's expressions I could tell it wasn't good. . .You're afraid of something like that happening again, or even something like Quatre's responses to your healings."

"Chang, please. . ." Rachel bowed her head shamefully.

"I'm not holding it against you but you can't hold it against yourself, it will do no one any good! Rachel. . .you have the power, use it!"

"NO!" Rachel shouted, covering her ears and wincing as she forced Chang's thoughts out of her mind. Everyone looked up suddenly, disturbed by her outburst and confused a bit. Duo blinked at Rachel's actions and said, "Rachel, are you okay!" She looked up suddenly and looked rather sheepishly at them all, slowly lowering her hands as she said, "Y. . .yes. . .I'm fine. . .I need some fresh air, excuse me." She quickly stood and ran off out of the cavern. Heero blinked in confusion and turned to Duo, saying, "Duo, why are you just sitting there. . ."

"Oh, sorry. . ." Duo mumbled, jumping to his feet after snapping out of his trance, running after Rachel. As he left the cavern, he jogged to a stop and looked around, listening for footsteps. The silence swallowed him and echoed back nothing but his own breaths as he thought, Either she stopped running and walked wherever she was going or she teleported. Since I don't know how to do that, I'm just gonna do it my way. He put out his hands and closed his eyes, concentrating hard to form a small ball of fire. It danced around cheerfully as Duo slowly opened his eyes to look at it. With a smile, Duo said, "alright, little guy, you guided me before, show me to my girl!" It bounced up out of his hands and danced back and forth for a second before taking off into the darkness, into the bowels of the cave. He ran after it and a few minutes later slowed to a slow walk as he saw the fireball stop and light up a figure sitting in the darkness ahead. Stopping, he stood by and then sat next to his girlfriend, saying, "Hey, what's this place?" Raising her hand, Rachel played with the fireball, rolling it around playfully through her fingers as it danced along.

"Quatre showed it to me earlier, it's a beautiful place, perfect for a nice quiet time alone for thought. . ." She responded quietly, letting the fire roll off her palm and float off into the cavern. It's light shimmered off the crystalline walls and floor as Duo and Rachel watched on in silence. Finally, Duo said softly with a sad face, "Rachel, are you okay? I'm serious, tell me." She didn't look at him as a tear rolled down her cheek. Glancing her way, he saw the sparkle off her skin and slowly put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her to himself and placing his other arm around her. He held her close as she rested her hand on his side, leaning her head close to his heart and closing her eyes.

"Duo. . .I feel like I'm falling apart. . ." She gasped softly, clenching his jacket in her hand slowly.

"From what? All the transformations? Maybe you just need a break. . ."

"You know I can't. . .and. . .that's not exactly what I meant. . ." Duo looked down at her and said, "Then what did you mean?"

"From everything! My powers, every time I lose it, when they make other people lose it, the dreams I have every night I'm here. . .my rocky relationship with you. . ."

"It's not rocky. . .just. . .healthy. . ."

"How can you call this healthy?" She said, starting to go off on a tangent.

"For one thing, you need to stop trying to make everything out to be your fault, there are other people here responsible for their own actions! Good grief, you're like a female version of Quatre!"

"Thanks. . ." Rachel grumbled.

"We all have our faults. Quatre's too sensitive about things and wary of every step he takes, Heero has no clue how to react as a normal human being and keeps hiding things from Relena and is also rather insensitive to other people's feelings, Trowa holds everything in till he slips up one time and goes crazy or just runs away, Chang has a huge ego that needs some major popping and underestimates others' strength to the point he thinks it's his job to do everything, Milliardo can't tell the difference between love inside or outside a battlefield and quite often is a hypocrite with what he says-"

"Okay, I get the point!"

"Wait. . .I haven't gotten to myself yet. . ." Duo said quietly. He closed his eyes and said solemnly, "I. . .I'm too scared to really be myself around people. You see how I act, using humor as a shield, that's all it really is. . ."

"Inside you're really a scared and shivering child lost in a dark alley, so scarred and traumatized by your past that it still haunts you with threats of repetition. You worry way too much about losing things to the point you give up too easily when you should be trying to hold on to them and not running away. I know your motto is "I may run and hide but I never tell a lie" but in reality it is a lie in itself. You lie by pretending you're fine, that nothing bothers you when you're dying inside. You always hold onto the memories of your loved ones dying because you think it was your fault when it really wasn't. But now. . .now you just give up and figure that it's going to happen anyway so why put out the effort to rescue someone? Well I'm telling you this now, I don't give a flying fart in space, you better not flake out on me because I love you, Duo Maxwell, and I'm not going to let you belittle yourself anymore and lose hope in me OR yourself!" Duo blinked and said slowly, "A. . .flying fart in. . .space?"

"So my illustrations aren't very sophisticated, if you really wanted a classy broad you would have gone shopping a little farther than the battle field. . ." Duo laughed, shaking his head and saying cheerfully, "I want a girlfriend, not a dictionary! You're already smarter than me, why would I want some reform school dog!"

"I think you're totally forgetting my main point. . ." Rachel said exhaustedly.

"No. . .just running from it. . ." Duo said with a grin. She sighed and Duo rolled his eyes, hugging her and saying, "I'm kidding. . .I know what you're trying to say. But are you forgetting my point?"

"No. . .I guess it's kinda a draw, huh. . ." Rachel mumbled.

"I guess so. . .what'dya say we both stop being so faulty and put a little more effort and thought into what we do?"

"Sounds good to me. . .what'dya say you put some effort into kissing me. . ." Rachel asked, looking up into his eyes. He smiled and said, "I don't know. . .I might get scared and run away. . ."

"Oh haha. . ." Rachel frowned. Duo softly caressed her cheek as he said, "Don't frown. . .it ruins your pretty face. . ." She blushed and looked down, burying her face in his jacket and hugging him tightly. He hugged her back and said, "I love holding you. . .you're safe in my arms where I can protect you. . ."

"You can't hug me forever, you know. . ." She muttered.

"I can. . .for just this minute. . .at least. . ." Duo said slowly, feeling the approaching battle pushing at his back, the pressure and weight of the fight on him strongly. Rachel sniffed and sighed, thinking, If I can't handle this. . .then how the heck am I supposed to fight a world wide, even space wide battle!

"You've got us, that's how. . ." Duo said you her in her mind. She looked up at him in surprise for a second before softening her expression and saying, "You heard me. . ."

"I've been listening to you ever since I could. . .kinda my way of seeing how you feel so I don't freak out so much anymore. You don't. . .mind, do you? I don't want to make you feel. . .exposed or whatever. . ."

"No. . .I guess it is a little disconcerting but what do I have to hide, right?" Duo looked away and said quietly, "Yeah. . .right. . ." She downcast her eyes and said as she slowly sat up, "It's time, Duo. . .we have to go." Holding on reluctantly, Duo said with sadness in his eyes, "Go where? And why now?"

"To the battle. . .and because we have to."

"Why. . ." Duo leaned his head against her chest, pulling her close as he closed his eyes. She rested her hands on his head and softly said, "You know why. . .Duo. . ." He slowly looked up into her eyes with a deep, blank expression as his fingers curled around her shirt, clutching it tightly. She looked a little uncomfortable as he said, "Rachel. . .this could be. . .the end. . ."

"No, don't say that, it's not true."

"What if it is. . .we could be. . .losing our last. . .chance. . ."

"For what?" He moved his right hand up her back slowly in a caressing motion as he continued to stare at her. She swallowed and blinked nervously, leaning back slightly as she said, "Duo, please let go, you're making me uncomfortable. . ."

"Why should you be uncomfortable. . ." Duo asked in all seriousness.

"Because, you have ideas to do things I just cannot do, and. . .I really don't like to be touched like that. . ." Rachel said, reaching back to remove his hands from her back. He leaned back, looking away sadly in shame as he said, "Oh. . .I'm. . .sorry. . ."

"I'm not sure if I could ever stand to be touched that way ever again, it just. . .brings back too many memories. . ." She clutched her hands to her heart, looking away as her throat choked up. Duo looked back at her and smiled, saying, "Be strong. . .and I will protect and love you however you wish to be treated. . ."

"And what if I'm not strong?" She looked back at him.

"All the more reason to protect you. . ." Duo said, gently touching her cheek. She smiled and nodded, leaning slowly into him as he hugged her tenderly.