AN: This story is my AU follow-up to the infamous series 6 "Out of Time" cliffhanger. Thanks again to everyone who's given me feedback; it's always appreciated.
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, and I'm not making any money from this, so please don't sue me.
The Ripple Effect
The first thing Rimmer noticed was that he hadn't been blown up. The second thing he noticed was that the ship hadn't been blown up, and that there was no sign of the time drive or its smoking remains. Lister, Cat, and Kryten were lying on the cockpit floor, unmoving, and Rimmer felt his stomach lurch. I didn't do it. I couldn't save them. What was the point of doing something incredibly brave if it didn't change things?
Lister coughed suddenly, jolting to life as he took in huge lungfuls of air. He sat up, looking disconcerted. "Rimmer? Didn't I just die?"
"I think," Rimmer said, his voice a little wobbly, "we all did. And the ship blew up."
Lister blinked. "Then…how are we okay?"
Kryten opened his eyes. "I believe I may have an answer."
"I think I mussed my hair," Cat said.
"Everyone's okay?" Rimmer said, feeling infinitely relieved. He hadn't saved only himself. Rimmer suspected he might've done something drastic if he had only managed to save himself; a life alone on Starbug would've been something very close to hell.
"No, everyone is not okay! Didn't you just hear me say I mussed my hair?" Cat said indignantly.
"I believe," Kryten said, "that somehow, the destruction of the time drive…"
"You were dead by the time I blew it up. How did you know it was destroyed?" Rimmer asked.
"I assumed it had been destroyed because we're all alive," Kryten said.
"Wait a second," Lister said. "You blew it up?"
"Yes," Rimmer said, feeling profoundly uncomfortable.
"You didn't just try to run away?" Lister asked.
"We're in the middle of deep space! Where could I go, outside for a stroll?" Rimmer asked. Time to change the subject. "You were saying, Kryten?"
"Somehow," Kryten said, "the destruction of the time drive was like throwing a pebble in a pool, but instead of creating ripples of water, it created ripples of time. We must have caught one of those ripples and been carried backwards."
"So where in time are we?" Lister asked.
Kryten made some calculations. "Approximately one million years earlier in time than we were, sir."
"So that's two million years instead of three?" Lister said. "Smeg…people might still be alive! I mean, not people I know, but people in general. Humans."
"Please," Rimmer said, rolling his eyes. "Can't we go five minutes without trotting out the 'other people in the galaxy—oh goody!' speech?"
"I happen to think it's pretty important that my species might not be extinct yet," Lister said. "And maybe if you were a member of the same species, you'd think so too."
"What difference does it make? In a million years, they'll all be dead, every last smegging one of them," Rimmer said.
He'd been in a good mood before—why did Lister have to ruin everything by planning to go off and rejoin the human race? It was a place Rimmer couldn't possibly follow. He'd just barely gotten Lister to treat him like a person (although not entirely, judging by Lister's last comment), and that had taken years. Most likely, the people on Earth, if there were any, would have a quick laugh at Rimmer and then shut him off for good without a thought. It was all very well for Lister to plan his return, but Rimmer didn't know what he would do if Lister really did go home, because Rimmer had no real home to go to.
"Way to look at the bright side, Rimmer," Lister said. "Next, could you maybe spit on Cat and kick Kryten in the groinal socket?"
"Holographic spit does not go with these lapels," Cat said, pointing to his jacket.
"We blow up," Lister continued, ignoring the Cat, "and we're alive. Don't you think that deserves some kind of celebration at least before you start saying the sky is falling?"
"Hurrah. We're alive," Rimmer said with little enthusiasm. "Nothing has changed, Lister."
"I have," Lister said, staring at Rimmer. "And I thought you might've. But I guess that was just me being stupid." Lister brushed by Rimmer and left the cockpit.
Well done, Rimsy. Only you can turn saving a ship and its crew into an argument that makes everyone miserable.
Rimmer slipped into his customary seat and hoped no one would talk to him the rest of the day.
