"I would hope, Lister, that I wouldn't do that," Rimmer said.

"Do what?" Lister asked.

"Opt to save myself if I knew I was killing you," Rimmer said.

"I wouldn't worry about it, man," Lister said. "It wasn't you."

"But it was like me," Rimmer said, "and that's what I'm worried about."

Lister understood; he had the same problem. "Rimmer? Most of the time, I'm not awful to you, am I? I mean, we make fun of each other, but it's not…"

"Does it hurt my feelings?" Rimmer asked, a hint of scorn in his words, although Lister suspected the scorn was directed at the phrase and not at him.

"I guess," Lister said.

"Lister, if every putdown actually injured me, I'd have bled to death a long time ago," Rimmer said. "Well, assuming I could actually bleed."

"It just never occurred to me that I could be a terrible person and not know it," Lister said.

"It's an odd thing to realize, isn't it?" Rimmer asked. "I'm hoping it doesn't get in the way of our hating each other too much."

Lister smiled, but then his smile faded. "Rimmer, you know I don't really hate you."

Rimmer was silent for a minute. "I hope you find them."

"Who?"

"Other people," Rimmer said. "If that's what you want."

"Thanks," Lister said.

"Now shut up and go to sleep," Rimmer said.

"Smeghead," Lister said.

"And you," Rimmer said.

Lister closed his eyes. After a moment, he discovered he was in bed with someone. Whoever-it-was dug his thumbs into Lister's shoulders, and Lister made a sound of contentment. This was a nice hiccup. He could stand a few minutes in this dimension.

"I can't stand another minute without making love to you," the person whispered.

Lister opened his eyes, rolled over, and stared into his own smiling face just before the "hiccup" disappeared.

His terrified scream woke the whole of the ship.

THE END