O0o0O

July 2nd

Dear Journal,

I don't know why but I'm in such a modern muggle mood. I guess I'm always like this when I leave Hogwarts and am back in the muggle world. I went to Kirk's house and I was rapping. And dancing hip-hop. And I was pretty crazy.

Yo.

Tamara

O0o0O

Dear Tyler,

Having fun in heaven? I miss you so much. There's a question I've wanted to ask you for 10 years. Who killed you?

I hope you miss me too but not too much. I would say that I'm very happy down here but I must say that my life is miserable right now. If you were here, then I would actually have a life. But what is there here for me right now? Nobody. Nothing.

The truth is that I'm only half of myself right now. I miss my other half.

Tam

O0o0O

July 24th

Dear Journal,

Why do I bother? What's the point? I have nothing to live for anymore. I have no friends. Kirk may like me, but he doesn't count because whenever I'm around him… Well, I feel like I'm standing right next to a black hole and if I move one step closer, I'll fall in. The only reason I don't break up with Kirk is because without him, I'd probably die of boredom anyway.

George probably only likes me because he feels sorry for me. I wonder if he knows how much I love him. How much I really, really love him. He's everything I would need in a friend, but he's just horrible at realizing that I need him.

There's something missing and I know exactly what it is. It's Tyler.

Why can't I just fall asleep and never wake up? It would totally make my life better and probably everyone else's. My dad wouldn't need to pay for me anymore.

Why did Tyler have to die without me?

Tammy

O0o0O

August 2nd

Dear Journal,

As far as anyone's concerned, I'm dead. I haven't changed anyone's life, and I haven't ever helped anyone with anything since before Tyler died. I don't understand it. Maybe I'm not alive.

Everything seems so fake. Do you think that maybe I'm asleep right now, that this is all one big nightmare? Please, somebody, wake up me, because I know I'm sleeping. This trick has been going on long enough. It's not funny anymore. ((Here the writing gets darker, because she starts pressing the quill harder.)) This stupid life is killing me, if I'm not already dead. I'm slowly slipping into the darkness and if nobody does anything quick, I'm gonna fall and be gone from this stupid Earth forever.

O0o0O

August 10th

Dear Journal,

Do you mind if I write from somebody else's point of view? Like… er… if somebody was watching me all day? I will, starting tomorrow, for I don't know how long.

Tammy

O0o0O

Tamara woke up that morning and climbed out of bed. The rain was pouring hard but she could still hear somebody knocking on the door downstairs. Her feet found their way to her slippers and her hand found it's way to her hairbrush. Once she looked good enough, she walked down to the door and opened it. "Hello." She said, smiling at Kirk faintly. "What's up?"

Kirk was grinning brightly. "I had the most brilliant idea."

Tamara let him come in, and closed the door behind him. She yawned, walking into the kitchen, him following her. "What?"

"Well, I was thinking about how you have no choice but go to that school every year, and leave me… Well, you wouldn't have to leave me if we got married!"

His girlfriend spit out the coffee that she was drinking. "Are you kidding me?"

"No!"

She hurled her coffee mug at him. "No way, Kirk. I'm not getting married to you!"

"Why not?"

"I need to graduate first!"

"Oh… sorry. Forgive me?"

"Sure." She ran upstairs.

As Tamara sat in the corner of her room, she could hear Kirk leaving her house. She just sat there for what seemed like days, but was only until the rain stopped pouring two hours later. But even though she had only been awake for 2 hours, it was already three o' clock when she went downstairs to make herself lunch. She must've slept until one.

After eating lunch for an hour, and pigging out on chocolate for another hour, she dragged herself over to her TV and started watching. It was the middle of a rerun, and she knew exactly what had happened already. By the end of the show, it had started raining again.

After watching for another hour, Tamara went upstairs and brushed her hair again. She grabbed her makeup basket and started changing her face. By the time she was done, she looked like she usually did.

Tamara stared at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a pair of black shorts and a black tank top. Her long black hair seemed straighter than usual. She never realized how flat her hair was.

Without even realizing what she was doing, she ran outside the door and out into the pouring rain. The cool rain falling onto her seemed to solve everything. Her clothes became soaking wet and clinging to her body but she didn't seem to care. All the stress from the past ten years temporarily ran away. All the weight on her shoulders lifted away.

She started running around in circles, and for the first time in a long time, a smile crept across her face.

O0o0O

August 18th

Dear Journal,

I'm really good at that, aren't I?  Well, that's what really happened that day so, er, whatever. I cannot believe Kirk proposed. There is no way I will ever marry that idiot.

Tammy

O0o0O

August 24th

Dear Journal,

I guess I should tell you now, before I forget. I got yet another tattoo. That's number three!

It's on my hip. And it's an eyeball. The eye is blue, like mine. Yay!

Tammy

O0o0O

September 2nd

Dear Journal,

George is hot. I'm so happy that he's my friend. He wears Spongebob boxers…. Weird.

Tammy

O0o0O

September 3rd

Dear Journal,

George says that I should wear clothes my size. WEIRDO!

Tammy

O0o0O

September 3rd

Dear Journal,

George is the most biggest idiot on Earth. Fred says that George likes me. George says he's lying but somehow I know that he's not.

Sometimes I wish George would just die.

No I don't.

Tamara

O0o0O

Like it? I made up a new kind of separator thing: O0o0O. Yay!
And while you're reading, I'll ask you to please read Notice Me, the best fanfiction I have EVER written in my life. Thanks