Pirate Ships:

A Fic of Screwed-Up Relationships

or

Mstar Wreaks Havoc upon the Fanfiction World

A young girl, barely in highschool, stared at the screen of a computer, placed on a desk in the middle of a dark room. She had black cat ears poking out of her blonde hair and a black cat tail sticking out of a hole in the back of her jeans. She flicked a stray piece of popcorn off her red and black tie-dye t-shirt and clicked on a link that appeared promising on the fanfiction website she was surfing. After reading only a few paragraphs, she quickly clicked the back button on the screen. After following the same process several more times, she stood up with an angry growl and started torching things in the room with her cat-demon fire powers.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, catching even more things on fire. "CAN'T SOMEONE GO ON THE INTERNET AND READ A FANFIC AND NOT BE THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED?!" She turned back to the computer and if hadn't been for the fact that she remembered that all her fanfiction writings were on it and that it was the only computer she had, she probably would have torched it too.

The cat-demon girl turned backed to the computer and scrolled through the fanfics listed, the content of which causing her to rant. "SNAPE AND HERMIONE?! ROBIN AND RAVEN?! KAGOME AND SESSHOMARU?! KEL AND JOREN?! HARRY AND DRACO?!?! DUMBLEDORE AND HARRY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING?!?!?!?!" The girl collapsed into her spinny chair, having used up her question mark and exclamation point quota for the day.

She sat back up and started scrolling through the fics again, muttering to herself. "These aren't even real ships!" she grumbled. "These are, these are… PIRATE SHIPS!!! The ships are all stealing stories from the true ships!" The girl suddenly sprung up from her chair and shouted, "THESE SHIPS MUST BE SUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She sat back down in a hurry, x-ing out the internet and pulling up Microsoft Word. She started typing hurriedly, calling up all her evil authoress abilities. She knew what she must do. She had to sink the evil Pirate Ships, starting with the work of literature that received the most obscure, bizarre, strange, and just downright disgusting ships in the fanfiction about it. Mstar the Cat Demon had to start with…

It's was just another day at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry when the spell struck…

Mstar's Note:

So… How is it so far? I know it's short, but it's just the prologue. In this fic, I basically bash to pieces all the overly weird ships in a whole bunch of different series. Harry Potter, Inuyasha, the Tortall books, and Teen Titans for example. If there's a book, movie, or TV show that has fics with Pirate Ships (my term for all those weird and disgusting ships) in it that you'd like me to screw with, let me know. See? Now you have an excuse to review! In the mean time, look over this checklist to see if your fic has a Pirate Ship (it's sad how many people don't know).

If the ship in your fic is made of characters who…

normally hate each others' guts

have a rather large age difference (20 years )

are strait in the canon, but gay/lesbian in your fic

are gay/lesbian in the canon, but strait in your fic

aren't of the same species (unless demons are common in the canon, like in Inuyasha)

are in love with an inanimate object

are already paired with someone else in the canon

…then the ship is most likely a Pirate Ship.