Disclaimer: the ONLY thing I own is Jacqueline, and some of the plot

but not all. Majority of the plotline belongs to Tolkien and

Jackson, most of the LOTR character lines are credited to Peter

Jackson and his assistant scriptwriter(most of the character's lines

are from the movie), and all LOTR characters belong to Tolkien.

Chapter 8 - Lothlorien

She couldn't believe Gandalf was gone. He had quickly become a grandfather, a father and a friend in the same instant; not just to her but to all of them.

Sam collapsed not too far from her, shaking with tears; Boromir fought back tears while holding an enraged Gimli. Legolas was stunned, in total shock and disbelief over the situation. Merry and Pippin were also broken down in tears, Merry trying to comfort the younger one whose head was on his lap, without comfort himself. Aragorn was the only one who was together enough to take over Gandalf's role, but Jacqueline knew he felt the same.

She collapsed onto a rock distraught, in tears and feeling like she had let them all down. She knew that Gandalf would have fallen if she wasn't there causing much unnecessary grief, so she burned it in her mind that she could keep them from harm. But instead of drawing strength from it, like she had hoped, she only received pain.

Jacqueline saw Aragorn, who had stood some ways off, approach them and instructed Legolas to get them moving again.

"Give them a moment for pity's sake," Boromir argued, tears in his voice.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs!" Aragorn explained. "We must reach the Woods of Lothlorien. Come Boromir, Legolas, Gimli, get them up." He walked over to Sam as Legolas and Boromir walked over to Merry and Pippin. "On your feet Sam." Aragorn picked the hobbit up and helped him steady himself on his feet. Jacqueline could hear the sad undertone in his voice. Once Sam was up, Aragorn looked around for Frodo.

"Frodo? Frodo!"

Frodo was walking away from the company, but stopped when Aragorn called him the second time, and Frodo turned around. The tears flowing down his face broke Jacqueline's heart. True Gandalf would come back, but still she didn't see the point of putting them through this emotional pain.

Legolas walked up to her, stirring her out of her thoughts. She looked up at him, tears still flowing.

"I couldn't do it," Jacqueline said quietly. "He wouldn't let me save him."

"I know Jacqueline," Legolas said softly, kneeling in front of her. "We all heard Gandalf's words. You must stop blaming yourself."

"But I could have saved him, Legolas. I could have-"

Jacqueline dropped her head in fresh tears. Legolas could see that this more recent loss had only added to more burdens that already lived in her heart, and he gently took her face in his hands.

"Remember what Gandalf said while we were in Moria," he said softly, wiping away tears. "Things will always look up, but you must have the strength to see through the misfortunes to get there." He stood up and took her hands. "Come, we must hurry."

She stood with his help, and they moved down the hill to catch up with the rest of the group. After much running they came to the edge of the Golden Wood, and for a moment Jacqueline forgot the heavy burden on her heart and mind. The wood was absolutely glorious, more spectacular than she ever imagined or seen depicted. Frodo suddenly stopped in front of her, but kept going when Jacqueline nearly bumped into him. They were both shaken from something in their heads, and Frodo's face spoke of apology. She smiled reassuringly at him, knowing what had caused the saddened hobbit to pause; Galadriel was speaking to him in his mind. Jacqueline began looking for Lothlorien's guard, knowing that they would be the Fellowship's next encounter. She couldn't see any definite signs of Haldir or anyone else save for the odd flash of golden-white hair.

She had just turned her head to look over her right shoulder when she heard Legolas notch an arrow to his bow. Her head shot forward and was greeted by Rumil's arrow.

Haldir stepped forward. "The dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark."

Gimli scoweled at the comment. Jacqueline, meanwhile, looked Rumil in the eye and saw an uncertainty about her there. What was it about her that made orcs and elves uneasy? She looked at Gimli, who had just proclaimed the woods unsafe. She guessed that she wasn't the only thing making people uneasy.

"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back." Haldir responded. He looked over the group. "Come, she is waiting."

Haldir led them up to Caras Galadhon. Jacqueline walked beside him, slightly ahead of the rest of them. Haldir had insisted and Jacqueline didn't argue or decline, which puzzled and pained Legolas some. They were drawn to eachother, Legolas and Jacqueline; everytime she needed anyone, be it in times of trouble or loneliness it was him who brought relief with either his watchful gaze or his presence. He wanted to protect her, and right when she needed him the most the situation and whatever power controlling it turned on him, keeping them just out of reach. Jacqueline was too lost in sadness to notice Legolas was not near her, and Rumil and Orophin would not let him near her. It was torture on his heart.

The elves they passed merely looked on at the company unless their gaze met Jacqueline's, in which they would bow their head in a reverent manner. By now Jacqueline was as confused as she was upset; there was clearly something about her that she wasn't aware of. Finally they reaced the top of the stairs, and Galadriel proceeded downwards to greet them with Celeborn.

Galadriel was more stunning than Jacqueline ever imagined, and Celeborn stood proud beside her. Both of their faces spoke of their wisdom, and Galadriel's features were laced with kind, sly cunningness while Celeborn's were written with authority. He gazed over the nine companions with sudden confusion.

"Nine that are here yet then there were sent out from Rivendell. Tell me where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him."

Galadriel found the answer in Aragorn, but Jacqueline didn't hear it. Celeborn held her gaze, and the features in his face changed becoming much softer. A feeling began growing in her, a sense of familiarity towards both Celeborn and Galadriel. It was unusual, and a but unnerving despite being through what she had been through already. She was so puzzled over the feeling that she didn't hear Galadriel bid them rest, but came back to her senses when Aragorn touched her shoulder. She turned her head intending to look at Aragorn, but instead met Legolas' gaze; he looked hurt. She walked over to him, not knowing why really just that it was right to do so. Jacqueline looked behind her as they walked away, and Celeborn bowed his head at her.

They camped out in the gardens of Lothlorien. Waterfalls fell with a crystalline sound, and flowers bloomed all around. The strange familiarity of Lothlorien, however, failed to leave her. So Jacqueline turned her attention to the sudden appearance of singing, hoping to make the feeling melt away. The song was for Gandalf, and knew just as Legolas, Aragorn and probably Boromir knew what they said about him. And like them, she was in too much grief to decipher it for the hobbits.

She turned to look at Boromir and Aragorn, and she marvelled at Aragorn's ability to hide his sadness. Boromir, on the other hand, looked quite distraught and she cautiously crawled over to him since he was only a few feet away.

"Boromir, are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

"I heard her voice inside my head," he answered shakily. Aragorn stopped what he was doing to listen. "She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me even now that there is hope left. But I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope." He turned to look at her, smiling weakly. "I suppose you should be proof of hope, and yet I am still blind."

"You will see hope Boromir," Jacqueline said, trying to be as reassuring as possible. "It will come to you just as it did to me, though I find that it is hard to hold onto."

Aragorn looked slightly puzzled. "But you know what will become of us Jacqueline. Why is it that you find hope so hard to keep?"

She sighed heavily. "I did not grow up with a sense of hope or kindness as you have. My mother died when I was very young, and was raised by my father, though it was more like being raised by an orc than a man."

"What did he do to you?" Legolas asked, sitting beside her.

She cast her eyes downward. "He used to beat me, for any reason he could find. Sometimes it was because I could not do the impossible tasks he told me to do; other times I was beat when he had come home drunk and angry."

The three of them were in total shock. None of them could picture some thing as vile as what she had described.

"Could you have left?" Aragorn asked softly. She shook her head.

"No. He would have found me and he knew it. I had no where to go, and I was too scared of what he would do if I ever tried to leave."

"You fought orcs, a cave troll, and the Watcher yet you could not fight your own father," Boromir said.

"I know," She admitted. "It puzzles me too. I was hoping Gandalf could help me solve this riddle, but-"

Jacqueline stopped mid-sentence, unable to finish. They understood and didn't press the matter further.

"We should take some rest," Aragorn suggested. "We leave at dawn tomorrow."

Both he and Boromir crawled to where they had chosen to rest and quickly fell asleep. Gimli and the hobbits had been sleeping for some time, having had somewhat of a decent meal. Jacqueline could not find sleep, and Legolas could tell.

"Something troubles your mind," he said. She tried to smile.

"I'm starting to think you can read my mind."

He smiled back, taking her hand. "Tell me what keeps you from sleep."

Her smile quickly faded. "I keep seeing my mother's death over and over again. I can hear the yelling, the screaming, my mother crying out in pain. I can see myself, such a young child, watching from the stairs as my father beat my mother to death. There was so much blood everywhere, all her blood." She covered her face with her hands, tears returning. Legolas finally realized what had pushed her to try and save Gandalf; he was the father she never had. He wrapped his arms around her and brought her close, trying to ebb away her sadness. He looked up and saw Haldir looking down at them from a flet not far up. It was almost as if disproval lay in his features, like it was inappropriate for Legolas to comfor her. Legolas pretended to not take notice and instead turned his attention to Jacqueline.

"Perhaps some fond memories will help you sleep," he suggested. Her sobs had died down when he pulled her to him, and she sat herself up.

"And if it doesn't?" she asked quietly, wiping tears away.

"There is only one way to find out Jacqueline," he answered smiling. She smiled as well, knowing he was right. She took a deep breath before she began.