First Duty
Qui-Gon entered the room quietly, swinging the door closed behind himself. Raven watched as he pulled a chair from the other side of the room to side by her bed. His gray-blue eyes seemed to search her for a moment as he considered in silence, before finally saying, "The Council knows of who and what you are."
"I assumed as much," Raven replied quietly, studying her hands in her lap before turning her green eyes to his. He was still unassuming, but something about his demeanor had changed. "Thank you for bringing me here, for saving my life."
"It was nothing you wouldn't, or perhaps I should say, haven't, done for me," he shrugged, leaning back in his chair and seeming to relax a little. "I just returned from meeting with the Council. You are allowed to stay, under the understanding that you will meet with them at least once. You and your appearance were discussed extensively at the meeting about my mission, which was, by the way, considered a success. Finis Valorum is now considered safe for the time being, and I have completed my first mission as a Jedi Knight."
Raven raised one eyebrow, not missing the flat expression on his face. "Yet, you feel that it is not over. Not all of the lines are filled in," she countered quietly.
"You are correct," he stated with a sigh, "and you remain the biggest question mark of this entire experience. I don't believe the reason you gave me for leaving the Temple. If that was part of it, then it wasn't the main reason you left. I also want to know why you gave so freely of yourself for a mission sanctioned by a group you left on ambiguous terms at best, to the point of almost giving your life for it." The large man had leaned forward again, his hands relaxed on his knees, but his eyes bore into hers, unblinking and conveying the urgency within him.
"You ask hard questions, Qui-Gon Jinn, but as you wish. I've already told you that I worked in Intelligence during my life as Jedi Knight. Much of life consisted of what I do now as a hobby, collecting information and piecing it together. However, before I would do such things for other knights and masters, putting together the finer points to put together a mission and objective or the like.
"I had been a Knight for a little over a year when I was assigned to find information on a political hostage situation. Three young children of a representative in the Senate had been kidnapped and were being held under threat. If the senator didn't pay up, the children would be killed. I was coordinating the information that our Intelligence eyes-and-ears were bringing in to pass it along to two Master-padawan pairs to rescue the children.
"There was a problem of time constraints due to the difficulty of gathering the information, and in my hurry to get the information to the four Jedi scheduled to make the rescue attempt that night, I didn't cross-reference or validate about three sources of information.
"It turned out the information I passed along was incorrect. It concerned weapons placement, or perhaps guard placement, but in the end that doesn't matter. One pair of the master-padawan teams was caught in an impromptu ambush, and the padawan was killed, his master severely wounded." Raven swallowed slowly, tears forming in her eyes. She had to pause and recollect herself, and for a little while, she spoke haltingly.
"Because of my indolence and stupidity, Demian Emil was killed, and his master, Robas Coun, was paralyzed from the waist down. Afterwards, I was beside myself with grief and blame. After meditating for a long time, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't remain here in the Temple. I couldn't forgive myself for that, and I felt I no longer deserved to be a Jedi. So, I left the Temple."
Raven sat with her head bowed in remorse, tears on her cheeks, as Qui-Gon sat quietly. The room was silent, and Qui-Gon's expression had softened to reveal compassion and understanding. "Raven Suul Darkfeather," he said solemnly, "you are still a Jedi at heart, and I believe you deserve to be one beyond that as well. You put others before you in all things, are kind and compassionate, making judgments balanced between what you feel from the Force and what you rationally comprehend with your mind. You are slow to anger and quick to forgive, except for yourself. If I have learned nothing in your company during this, it is that you still maintain the thoughts and actions of a Jedi, even if you consider yourself undeserving of the title. You are more a Jedi than many who live here, myself included. You understand what it means to be a Jedi, while I'm still fumbling such concepts."
She shook her head, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth even though her express was still sad. "Your words are kind, Knight Jinn, but you don't give yourself enough credit. You are still learning the ways of the Force, and the qualities you admire in me I am sure you will surpass with experience."
He shrugged. "I hope you are right."
***
A change came over Raven's expression, and she looked up at him. "A Jedi at heart, you said. I am not, right now, but I will be. First, I must right a wrong. Qui-Gon, please bring me some robes and boots. Where is my belt and light saber?" She threw her blankets back and moved to leave the bed.
Qui-Gon stood up, towering over her. "Raven, you can't leave. You're injured. Your first duty is to get well."
"No, my first duty is to act honorably. I haven't done that, and I must correct that action. Qui-Gon, listen to me. I've spent my entire life training to be a Jedi Knight. This is my home, this is my duty. I threw that away in grief and self-condemnation, and that is a choice I must live with. But there is a Council of Twelve in the spire that deserves my explanation and my acceptance of the punishment they give me. I will continue to serve the Jedi, whether I am one of their ranks or not, and that service demands I face my destiny. Please get me some robes."
Her green eyes bored into his gray-blue for a moment, and then Qui-Gon relented, shaking his head. "I will do as you ask, but I don't think it's a good idea. At least let me help you up and make sure you can walk."
"You are a true friend, Qui-Gon," Raven smiled in return, "and I suppose I will allow you that since you have relented for me." He eased her to her feet, carefully keeping her torso as straight as possible. Raven grinned a little sheepishly, realizing she still lacked a tunic, although she was wearing a pair of infirmary drawstring pants that hung between her knees and her ankles.
"I'll be back," the Jedi murmured, giving her a long-suffering look, "but I still don't approve."
Raven shrugged, testing her mobility. "I'm not asking for that, just clothes," she replied impishly. Qui-Gon disappeared, and Raven moved slowly across her section of the room, making her way to the refresher in the opposite corner of the room. It was slower going than she was used to, although she was relatively functional. No saber fighting for me, the rogue thought soberly.
She made it to the refresher. Raven turned back towards the door, ignoring the slight wave of weariness that washed over her. She looked at the door and tossed her hair defiantly, standing up and straight as she could. It was just another challenge, something she'd experienced all her life. Walking across the room and into the Council Chamber to admit her mistake and take her judgment. Just another challenge.
Qui-Gon walked back into the room and had to pause in the doorway, surprised by the look on Raven's face. Before him stood undeniably a Jedi, from the look on her face to the confidence in her body. She had the regality, the poise of a Jedi, and she didn't need robes or a lightsaber to prove it. Qui-Gon felt a tug of sadness pull at him at the thought she may not return to what was hers.
Raven suddenly noticed him, and her stature reverted from Jedi to a person who tried and succeeded at blending in with other people, although the gleam in her eyes was still unmistakably one like him. "Here are the traditional Jedi robes," Qui-Gon said quietly, walking across the small room and handing her the clothes and setting a pair of boots on the floor. Folded neatly on top was her belt, with her lightsaber laying next to it.
Taking them from him ceremonially, Raven inclined her head slightly, feeling the weight of what she was about to do descend upon her. She pulled the clean under tunic over her head, shaking her hair free, and then added the two outer tabards. As a testament to her training, Raven then proceeded to trade the pants for her leggings. Raven then pulled the boots on her feet, looking odd as she kept her torso straight. The Rogue picked up her belt, removed the holster containing her blaster and handed it to Qui-Gon. Solemnly she buckled the utility belt around her waist, and clipped her lightsaber to it. Then, she looked levelly at the Jedi Knight.
"I am ready to see the Council," Raven said quietly, her voice steady. Qui-Gon nodded, moving to leave the room. He heard what she had really meant; she was ready to face her destiny, whatever it may be.
Qui-Gon entered the room quietly, swinging the door closed behind himself. Raven watched as he pulled a chair from the other side of the room to side by her bed. His gray-blue eyes seemed to search her for a moment as he considered in silence, before finally saying, "The Council knows of who and what you are."
"I assumed as much," Raven replied quietly, studying her hands in her lap before turning her green eyes to his. He was still unassuming, but something about his demeanor had changed. "Thank you for bringing me here, for saving my life."
"It was nothing you wouldn't, or perhaps I should say, haven't, done for me," he shrugged, leaning back in his chair and seeming to relax a little. "I just returned from meeting with the Council. You are allowed to stay, under the understanding that you will meet with them at least once. You and your appearance were discussed extensively at the meeting about my mission, which was, by the way, considered a success. Finis Valorum is now considered safe for the time being, and I have completed my first mission as a Jedi Knight."
Raven raised one eyebrow, not missing the flat expression on his face. "Yet, you feel that it is not over. Not all of the lines are filled in," she countered quietly.
"You are correct," he stated with a sigh, "and you remain the biggest question mark of this entire experience. I don't believe the reason you gave me for leaving the Temple. If that was part of it, then it wasn't the main reason you left. I also want to know why you gave so freely of yourself for a mission sanctioned by a group you left on ambiguous terms at best, to the point of almost giving your life for it." The large man had leaned forward again, his hands relaxed on his knees, but his eyes bore into hers, unblinking and conveying the urgency within him.
"You ask hard questions, Qui-Gon Jinn, but as you wish. I've already told you that I worked in Intelligence during my life as Jedi Knight. Much of life consisted of what I do now as a hobby, collecting information and piecing it together. However, before I would do such things for other knights and masters, putting together the finer points to put together a mission and objective or the like.
"I had been a Knight for a little over a year when I was assigned to find information on a political hostage situation. Three young children of a representative in the Senate had been kidnapped and were being held under threat. If the senator didn't pay up, the children would be killed. I was coordinating the information that our Intelligence eyes-and-ears were bringing in to pass it along to two Master-padawan pairs to rescue the children.
"There was a problem of time constraints due to the difficulty of gathering the information, and in my hurry to get the information to the four Jedi scheduled to make the rescue attempt that night, I didn't cross-reference or validate about three sources of information.
"It turned out the information I passed along was incorrect. It concerned weapons placement, or perhaps guard placement, but in the end that doesn't matter. One pair of the master-padawan teams was caught in an impromptu ambush, and the padawan was killed, his master severely wounded." Raven swallowed slowly, tears forming in her eyes. She had to pause and recollect herself, and for a little while, she spoke haltingly.
"Because of my indolence and stupidity, Demian Emil was killed, and his master, Robas Coun, was paralyzed from the waist down. Afterwards, I was beside myself with grief and blame. After meditating for a long time, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't remain here in the Temple. I couldn't forgive myself for that, and I felt I no longer deserved to be a Jedi. So, I left the Temple."
Raven sat with her head bowed in remorse, tears on her cheeks, as Qui-Gon sat quietly. The room was silent, and Qui-Gon's expression had softened to reveal compassion and understanding. "Raven Suul Darkfeather," he said solemnly, "you are still a Jedi at heart, and I believe you deserve to be one beyond that as well. You put others before you in all things, are kind and compassionate, making judgments balanced between what you feel from the Force and what you rationally comprehend with your mind. You are slow to anger and quick to forgive, except for yourself. If I have learned nothing in your company during this, it is that you still maintain the thoughts and actions of a Jedi, even if you consider yourself undeserving of the title. You are more a Jedi than many who live here, myself included. You understand what it means to be a Jedi, while I'm still fumbling such concepts."
She shook her head, a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth even though her express was still sad. "Your words are kind, Knight Jinn, but you don't give yourself enough credit. You are still learning the ways of the Force, and the qualities you admire in me I am sure you will surpass with experience."
He shrugged. "I hope you are right."
***
A change came over Raven's expression, and she looked up at him. "A Jedi at heart, you said. I am not, right now, but I will be. First, I must right a wrong. Qui-Gon, please bring me some robes and boots. Where is my belt and light saber?" She threw her blankets back and moved to leave the bed.
Qui-Gon stood up, towering over her. "Raven, you can't leave. You're injured. Your first duty is to get well."
"No, my first duty is to act honorably. I haven't done that, and I must correct that action. Qui-Gon, listen to me. I've spent my entire life training to be a Jedi Knight. This is my home, this is my duty. I threw that away in grief and self-condemnation, and that is a choice I must live with. But there is a Council of Twelve in the spire that deserves my explanation and my acceptance of the punishment they give me. I will continue to serve the Jedi, whether I am one of their ranks or not, and that service demands I face my destiny. Please get me some robes."
Her green eyes bored into his gray-blue for a moment, and then Qui-Gon relented, shaking his head. "I will do as you ask, but I don't think it's a good idea. At least let me help you up and make sure you can walk."
"You are a true friend, Qui-Gon," Raven smiled in return, "and I suppose I will allow you that since you have relented for me." He eased her to her feet, carefully keeping her torso as straight as possible. Raven grinned a little sheepishly, realizing she still lacked a tunic, although she was wearing a pair of infirmary drawstring pants that hung between her knees and her ankles.
"I'll be back," the Jedi murmured, giving her a long-suffering look, "but I still don't approve."
Raven shrugged, testing her mobility. "I'm not asking for that, just clothes," she replied impishly. Qui-Gon disappeared, and Raven moved slowly across her section of the room, making her way to the refresher in the opposite corner of the room. It was slower going than she was used to, although she was relatively functional. No saber fighting for me, the rogue thought soberly.
She made it to the refresher. Raven turned back towards the door, ignoring the slight wave of weariness that washed over her. She looked at the door and tossed her hair defiantly, standing up and straight as she could. It was just another challenge, something she'd experienced all her life. Walking across the room and into the Council Chamber to admit her mistake and take her judgment. Just another challenge.
Qui-Gon walked back into the room and had to pause in the doorway, surprised by the look on Raven's face. Before him stood undeniably a Jedi, from the look on her face to the confidence in her body. She had the regality, the poise of a Jedi, and she didn't need robes or a lightsaber to prove it. Qui-Gon felt a tug of sadness pull at him at the thought she may not return to what was hers.
Raven suddenly noticed him, and her stature reverted from Jedi to a person who tried and succeeded at blending in with other people, although the gleam in her eyes was still unmistakably one like him. "Here are the traditional Jedi robes," Qui-Gon said quietly, walking across the small room and handing her the clothes and setting a pair of boots on the floor. Folded neatly on top was her belt, with her lightsaber laying next to it.
Taking them from him ceremonially, Raven inclined her head slightly, feeling the weight of what she was about to do descend upon her. She pulled the clean under tunic over her head, shaking her hair free, and then added the two outer tabards. As a testament to her training, Raven then proceeded to trade the pants for her leggings. Raven then pulled the boots on her feet, looking odd as she kept her torso straight. The Rogue picked up her belt, removed the holster containing her blaster and handed it to Qui-Gon. Solemnly she buckled the utility belt around her waist, and clipped her lightsaber to it. Then, she looked levelly at the Jedi Knight.
"I am ready to see the Council," Raven said quietly, her voice steady. Qui-Gon nodded, moving to leave the room. He heard what she had really meant; she was ready to face her destiny, whatever it may be.
