The final chapter…
Blood on the Moon
By Lydiby
Chapter XVII
Today was my birthday. Rei, Ami, and the Starlights agreed to let me go shopping. It had been nearly a month since Setsuna's revelation and the Starlights had returned to tour for most of it. Setsuna's reassurances had been vague. She hadn't been able to say when or where anyone was now, but she did tell me that everyone had been restored. They might be scattered across the world, living newly created lives, half in shadow from remembering something of us. Remembering that maybethis wasn't how it had always been. Even if they thought it was only a feeling. Maybe those feelings would guide them back to us; hopefully the computers would help us meet them halfway.
They were alive. For now that was enough. I could wait, so long as I knew.
There was still a tremendous shadow hanging over us from the governments and other groups seeking the identities of the Senshi. Ami was not pleased with the amount of information the government had retained from the raid. But so far they had not discovered us. We were not followed, our phone lines were clean, and gradually the newspapers went back to reporting duller things.
Today I was twenty-one. Sipping at a chocolate shake from the arcade, I watched Rini twirl in her new dress and smiled. We went shopping, in all the old stores Mina and used to haunt, and tonight my family and I would go to a fancy restaurant, the kind Makoto would have appreciated. My father had given me a pair of beautiful pearl earrings. Mother and Rei together had chosen an exquisite kimono and Ami had bought me tickets to a ballet later that week. That she was hopeful in her search for the remaining missing Senshi, was honestly enough for me. I was overjoyed at the thought of being reunited, although she was notably silent about Endymoin.
The Starlights were still holding out on their surprise until this evening. Shingo, on a student's budget, had bought me a pair of antique jade hair combs. I had been speechless, and put them in my hair at once. They went nicely with my old white dress. We walked together, a more cheerful group then we had been in months. Today would be a day to celebrate memories.
For lunch we'd had a picnic in a park. Kakyuu and Rini played on the swings; the six of us talked about inconsequential things, the Starlights shared humorous stories from their tour. It was an ideal afternoon.
Minus a few people, but I shoved such thoughts from my mind.
'Look at all they're doing! Trying to make you happy!' I told myself not to be ungrateful. Stretched out in the sunshine with good food and good friends on a beautiful day. How could I be unhappy? We all relaxed as the afternoon wore on.
To Rei's adorable astonishment Kakyuu had climbed into her lap and fallen asleep. Standing, I walked over to where Rini was still swinging. She was humming a familiar song, when she saw me she jumped off and ran up to me. Smiling again, as she hugged me.
"Mama, I have present for you," she said.
"Oh?"
"Well…" she said, "It's not just from me," she admitted. I smiled imagining her going to Ikuko-mama or Shingo for help. "Here."
It was a small rounded irregular package wrapped up in newspaper, and she had tied a pink ribbon around it. I was surprised by how heavy it was for only being the size of my palm.
It was a star shaped locket.
"Where did you get this?" I asked her in disbelief. Endymoin had given it to me lifetimes ago.
"From Papa." The world stopped spinning and I sat down hard. 'From Papa,' in the future or the present? My heart beat wildly, painfully.
"I'm going to have to go home soon, Setsuna says…do you like it?"
"I love it," I told her, holding her tightly in one arm and staring down at the locket in my other hand. After a moment I pulled myself together.
"Thank you Small Lady. Thank you so much. Let's go home now." I brushed her hair back and smiled at her. She nodded.
"We have to get ready!"
I wondered if she was talking about dinner.
"You're not going to be a Small Lady much longer," I said looking at her in a new kimono we had bought that day. She giggled; she was trying very hard to be ladylike. I knew how excited she was to be allowed to come with us. Tonight would just be Mama, Papa, Shingo, Rini and me. Small Lady sat on the bed tapping the toes of her new sandals together; watching as Rei carefully did my hair. I, in turn, watched her through the mirror on my bureau. Carefully, I put on the pearl earrings, and tucked the locket safely into my obi as Rei made final adjustments to the ornaments in my hair. I stared at myself. I had changed so much, yet…there I was.
Sometimes Sailor Moon, sometimes a Princess, yet always still Usagi.
A knock on the door interrupted my reverie.
"Serenity-hime." It was Kakyuu, holding a wooden box with beautiful inlays, the Starlights stood behind her.
"Yes?" I answered the young girl, twisting around carefully in the kimono.
"My mother and I present you with this gift in honor of Your Highness's twenty-first birthday. We congratulate you on reaching your majority and wish you many happy returns," she said carefully.
"I thank you both," I said carefully in return and took the box.
Immediately, she was a normal little girl again. "Open it. Open it!"
I laughed, but immediately stopped once I raised the lid. The sight took my breath away.
My majority. Luna and I had spoken of it, but she hadn't been as thorough as she would have been. Luna knew, maybe better than anyone, where I was most fragile. She knew I wouldn't want to think about the future. Wouldn't want to think about becoming queen and all the responsibility it would entail, not without Mamoru by my side. Eventually, I would have to face it, and I would be strong, I knew. Setsuna had said, so I would be content with her promise.
Tearing my eyes away, I looked up at Kakyuu and gave her the most genuine smile I could find.
"Thank you," I said again.
"May I?" Ami asked, kneeling before me.
"Ami," I cried, "do you want me to ruin all this makeup? Rei spent so much time on it." I held my eyes wide to keep them from watering. She chuckled a little. "I can't wear it now," I said, nervously gazing down at it again.
"Not to the restaurant, no," she agreed with a whimsical smile, "but Shingo is downstairs with a camera and I know all of us would love to see you wear it."
"Of course," I said, looking up at everyone with a firm nod. I hadn't meant to frighten them by refusing or slight the gesture.
Ami carefully lifted the resplendent coronet and placed it on my head.
It's something I'll never forget.
Shingo must have taken a thousand pictures of me. The only way I could convince him to get out from behind the camera was to convince him I wanted pictures with him, too. We might never have left if I hadn't. Mama had to redo her makeup. Ami carefully removed the tiara and placed it safely back in the box. I closed it wistfully and said goodnight to all the girls. They wished me happy birthday one more time.
It was the best birthday I'd ever had, and I didn't hesitate to tell them. It was wonderful. Even with that moment in the restaurant when I saw a young man in a tuxedo, and for that moment it was he. I stepped forward and open my mouth to call out his name. Then the man turned around and it was a stranger.
Small Lady squeezed my hand and I looked down at her wonderingly. Tonight she was extra possessive. We smiled together and then everything was wonderful again.
When at last we were leaving the restaurant she pulled me down to her level and held me really tight. I lifted her up in the air.
"I've had a wonderful time tonight. I love you, you know that right?" I told her, sensing something else was up. She nodded and I set her down. Quickly, she kissed me on the cheek.
"I have to go home now. I love you Mama," Rini said. Without any more explanation she lifted up her kimono and ran off.
"Small Lady, wait!" I yelled, shocked. I heard my family call too, but I had already picked up my skirts and was chasing after her. Rini had a large lead; I was just in time to see her disappear down the steps into the subway. By the time I had gotten down the stairs it was empty. In silent resignation I bowed my head, caught my breath and eased away my desire to cry.
She had gone home.
'You knew should would. She had to,' I told myself and took out the locket she had given me.
Promises.
Paper whispers filled the subway.
"Usako," a voice whispered. A voice I only heard in my dreams. Slowly, frightened, I looked up.
"Mamo-chan," I gasped. Reaching out, I stepped forward. He reached his hand out to meet me, but terrified, I jerked back. What if—what if he wasn't really there? A painful look crossed his face quickly, hurting me as much as him. I wanted to ask for forgiveness.
"Just, just give me a minute," I gasped out, trying not to cry. Drinking in the gorgeous sight of him. The way his hair fell into his eyes, oh god. Could he forgive me for denying him, denying us?
"Usako, I love you," two tears cascaded over the edge of my eyes, "and we're not perfect. Not even you are perfect Usako, and that just means we're human." He sucked in a ragged breath. "You are the most beautiful person I've ever met and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. That's all I've ever wanted."
Now I was really crying.
"Mamo-chan, I'm so afraid. You don't understand. Just please, please tell me you're not going away. Promise me," I begged, tears streaming down my face, "Tell me you're really there."
"I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere without you. I promise."
"I love you," I whispered, and stepped forward. Another step, and then another, and my hand was in his, solid, warm, and absolutely real.
"I love you, I love you, I love you," I said, as he pulled me into his arms. He wiped away my tears and kissed me senseless.
The End.
I wanted a reunion for Mamoru and Usagi so that you could be sure that they did get their happy ending. Yet I wanted to leave it open ended. That way you can think what you'd like to think and there is nothing to say you are wrong. I hope you find this a satisfactory conclusion; I'd be delighted to hear what you think, about this or any other part of the story. I never expected to be so sad about finishing this; no more wild rushes of inspiration, no more encouraging and interesting reviews, what am I going to do? I hope you've enjoyed it, it was a pleasure writing for all of you and receiving you feedback. Thank you—Lydiby. March 24, 2005
