She was, unfortunately, waylaid by Pansy, who had heard from Clawson about Hermione's new involvement in the Slytherin band.
"So you think you can actually sing your way into Slytherin? I guess people have worked out you certainly can't fuck your way in." Pansy said maliciously, blocking Hermione's way back to the common room.
Contrary to popular belief, Pansy was pretty good looking. Her pug-face was somewhat improved with age, leaving her looking less like a dog and more like a person. She had a small oval shaped face, a pert turned up nose, big blue eyes and longish curly blonde hair. In fact, she almost looked a bit like Hermione on her blonde days. She was petite, although not fat in any sense of the word. She just had an unfortunate habit of wearing extremely slutty clothes.
Like today, for instance. A wrap around sweater with what looked like nothing underneath, and a micro-mini skirt with knee-high three inch stiletto boots. Hermione cringed.
"Pansy, they say that love is blind, which explains those clothes you're wearing. Please tell me you're in love." She said, biting her lips.
"You think you're so fucking smart, don't you?"
"Well, actually-"
"Well, Draco doesn't love you. Blaise doesn't love you. Nobody fucking loves you!"
I love you, if it'll make you feel any better. Amelie offered.
"That's okay." Hermione shrugged. She started to walk past Pansy, who caught her arm and swung her against the wall. Hermione's head snapped back with a crack.
"That's not okay." Hermione amended. "What is your problem?"
"You!"
"Well, yes, I did get that far, Pansy." Hermione said condescendingly. Pansy tried to slap her but Hermione grabbed her wrist and twisted. Pansy shrieked, more in surprise than in pain.
"Why don't you tell me what this is about, Pansy. You don't care about either Malfoy or Blaise, so why don't you explain this little bout of violence to me. If it's PMS then I can totally forgive you…but somehow I rather doubt it."
"You realise as soon as school finishes I'm set to marry Blaise and Draco's going to marry Lady Voldemort? They've found her, you know." Hermione stepped back in surprise, letting go of Pansy's wrist. Pansy took the opportunity and delivered a ringing slap against Hermione's face. Hermione gingerly rearranged her jaw.
"They've found Lady Voldemort?" she asked weakly. Pansy nodded in triumph. "Where was she?"
"They're not telling. But now that Voldemort and Amelie are together again you haven't got a chance…even with precious Potter on your side."
That's assuming of course, that I even want any part in this little war. I think I'll stay neutral.
That might be enough to let us win.
How surprising. Amelie replied dryly. Funny how those things work.
Isnt it just?
"Are you even listening to me?" Pansy demanded.
"Honestly? No. But look, we can continue this discussion later. I really have to go." Hermione smiled briefly before pushing past Pansy. When she turned the corner and there was no sight of Pansy, Hermione gave a sigh of relief. Only to be grabbed and pulled into a cupboard. When she finally managed to focus her eyes, she saw Ron and Harry.
"Oh my god – no!" Hermione went for the door, but Ron pulled her back.
"Hermione, stop. We want to talk to you, is all." Hermione nodded warily.
"About what?"
"What the hell is going on?" Harry asked.
"With what?" Hermione asked, playing as innocent as possible. More than two people never kept secrets well.
Three can keep a secret if two are dead. Amelie supplied helpfully.
Thanks.
"You and Malfoy. You and Zabini. Ginny and Malfoy. Ginny and Zabini. What the fuck?" Ron exclaimed.
"Um…short story version is me and Malfoy went out, me and Malfoy broke up. Malfoy is currently dating Ginny, I'm currently dating Blaise. I'm not sure if Ginny actually ever dated Blaise, although she was obsessed with him for a long time. That is, before she stole my boyfriend."
"You two are crazy." Ron said in disgust. "Slytherins! What the hell were you thinking?"
"Mostly about them in bed, I have to admit." Hermione answered frankly. Ron and Harry stared at her in shock.
"What about us?" Ron asked finally.
"You guys are like my brothers. I couldn't have sex with my brothers, for god's sakes. I mean, ew."
"He meant Gryffindor guys in general." Harry corrected. Hermione shrugged.
"I don't know…I guess none of you really turn me on like Slytherin guys do. I mean, come on!"
"You know, Hermione, there is absolutely no need to give us that much detail." Ron said
"You did ask." Hermione shrugged. "Is that all, or can I go?"
"What is it about them?" Ron demanded.
"I suppose they probably arent that bad, Ron. Its just house rivalry that stops us even talking to them." Harry said.
"Don't be so openminded, Harry, your brains will fall out." Hermione lectured. "They are all that bad, that's half the appeal. The other half being they are so totally hot its unbelievable. Not that some Gryffindors arent hot…it's just Slytherins are hotter. I think it's the evil personna appeal, something a Gryffindor could never pull off."
"You seem to manage it." Ron grumbled.
"But I'm half Slytherin, so that's expected." Hermione said chirpily. "Gotta go." She hugged them both quickly in a spurt of touchy-feely-ness and then disappeared quickly, before they could ask any more questions.
Well, that was a lot of not-funness.
So it was. What is with them?
They are seriously injured that you go around acting like Zabini's whore instead of theirs, I think is the problem.
But that's gross. I mean, they are like my brothers. Who fucks their brothers? Other than sick people?
People who have really fit brothers, get drunk or high together, and have sex. It really isnt that hard to do.
Please don't tell you have personal experience.
It's going to take more than living through avada kedavra to get me to sleep with my brother, trust me. And that totally means you cant sleep with him either.
Yeuch. Why on earth would I want to?
He's not that bad looking. Hermione shrugged as she let herself into the common room. Granted, Draco is fitter, but Harry's not that bad.
How many times do I have to emphasize the word friend? Amelie laughed.
"What's amusing?" Ginny asked, looking up from her book. Hermione raised an eyebrow.
"Do you ever even leave here? When I leave you're here, when I come back you're here."
"Quality time with-"
"My boyfriend, I know." Hermione finished with a smirk. "So." She sat down on the couch next to Ginny. "Up for shopping this weekend?"
"Probably. How was practising your vocal talents with Blaise?"
"Rewarding. I don't think he quite realised I could actually sing."
"Amazing when that happens." Ginny commented, turning sideways on the couch and leaning against the armrest, her feet on Hermione's lap.
"Isnt it just. So yeah, I have to work with them for this month…and then I can break up with him. Honestly, this relationship just isnt working. It's tedious, predictable…"
"Hot and sexy?"
"I'm doing my best to avoid those sorts of moments. I just don't like him like that. I don't like him at all, actually. And I'm having to be a brilliant actress and its putting a lot of strain on me. I can't wait till the Yule Ball is finished, I swear."
"Do you now? Not looking forward to your moment of glory?" Draco asked, coming into the common room via the portrait, proving that if Ginny was spending time with her boyfriend, then there was yet another player in this ridiculously complicated boyfriend-girlfriend game.
"Depends which one you're referring to. If it's the singing one, then no, not really. If it's the one where I very dramatically break up with Zabini, then it couldn't come quick enough." Draco laughed.
"Not enjoying yourself then?" he asked with a smirk.
"You've definitely got the better end of the bargain."
"Yeah, cuz being loaded with a Weasley is so much fun."
"Hey!" Ginny protested.
"You're cute, but your brother's annoying. Do you know what he just said to me? He said I had to stop messing around with you and Hermione or something bad'd happen. Like what, he'd belch slugs all over me?" Ginny snorted.
"Did he say anything to you?" he turned to Hermione. She nodded.
"Yeah. He pulled me into a janitor's closet with Harry. It was a very bad time in my day."
"Ew. You're like…his sister, for god's sakes!" Ginny protested.
"I know. That's what I told him. Apparently they, by they I mean Harry and Ron, were curious as to what I was thinking when I dated not one but two Slytherins. I told them it was the nightlife and the activity in bed. That somewhat shocked them. I don't think they were quite prepared for me to be that frank with them."
"You're getting some?" Ginny asked eagerly, leaning forward. "Tell all immediately!" Draco's face slid into a hard mask.
"No, but they don't know that. And the look on their faces…its almost as good as when I told McGonagall that the library is where Slytherins take their whores." Ginny choked and nearly fell off the couch if not for Draco's quick reflexes, grabbing her shoulder and yanking her backwards. He had relaxed somewhat though.
"You told her that?" Draco asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"I did. It was highly amusing. She said she wished I hadnt burst that particular bubble of hers. I told her she still had the bubble in which no one did drugs. She gave me a really dirty look then."
"I'll bet she did." Draco said, an amused look on his face.
"So who's doing drugs? And can I get some?" Ginny asked, tilting her head to the side and smiling endearingly. Draco patted her on the head.
"I'm not quite sure you're old enough, sweetheart." He said patronisingly. She swatted at him, annoyed.
"Shut up." She shot back. Draco put up his hands in surrender, sharing an amused look with Hermione.
"Sorry. And as for the details on drugs, I don't know for sure who is and who isnt doing them. But it's mostly Slytherins, so you probably wouldn't want them anyway." He said with a shrug.
"Yeah. God only knows what's in them." Hermione added.
"You guys have such a way of putting me down." Ginny sulked. "Anyway. Shopping this weekend…I can do that."
"Zabini wants to practise almost the entire weekend." Draco informed them. Hermione sighed.
"I don't like spending time with him." She complained. "The only reason I'm still going out with him is so he'll play at the ball."
"And that's nearly here, so not long now. I gotta go, so enjoy." Ginny patted her on the shoulder then left. Hermione sighed.
&
