(L-Space) (In front of you is Mr. Towel who is typing the story on an old keyboard)

Welcome back, and if you wish to enter, please also include attk, def points of your cards and their effect, unless it's a really common one, because I don't want to have to spend ages looking up every cards detail before they get played.

I do not own yugioh, nor the concept of millennium item cards. Or Garth Merengi's darkplace, or Cheech or chong.

I'm Edd, A.K.A Mr. Towel, author, genius, dream weaver, plus actor. You are about to enter the world of my imagination; You are about to enter: My 'Stoner's realm'

(Pulls paper off typewriter and throws it behind him.)

Cue the theme music

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(Intro scenes)

(Explosions!)

(Duels)

(Yami jumping from an exploding ambulance with a baby in his arms)

(Yugi and Yami reaching for each other)

(Kaiba smoking cannabis and laughing)

(Big Explosion)

YUGIOH,
ENTER THE STONER'S REALM

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(Boat 5)

"Hey. Man, where the hell are we?"

The bearded man lifted his head;

"I dunno man, hey look at this."

The Mexican showed his friend something on his arm, it was a duel disk.

"When the hell did we get these, man? Aren't they some sort of game-thing?"

His moustached friend answered,

"Man, we got WASTED last night, I think I remember something about a tournament....."

"You said we could get lots of draw from this tournament..."

"Then you.... Said that your cousin could get us entered for Mexico."

"Ah cool man."

"Yeah..... How do you play this game?"

"Its all easy man, these eye pieces tell us how to play, then we just follow the cards we draw, it'll be easy."

"Cool, let's go get some draw."

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(Boat 2)

"I told you we were going the wrong way."

"Hey, man there aint much around here, so we're sure to find it somewhere. Let's ask that spiky haired kid, he looks like a stoner."

The two Mexicans made there way over to where Yugi was sitting;

"Hey, man you got any draw we can buy?"

"Draw? Kangichaktoowik?"

"What?"

The Japanese kid sighed and put on his eyepiece.

"Do you understand me now?"

"Yeah, man."

"Ok, what did you want?"

"We're looking for some ganja man."

"Ganja?"

The other Mexican joined in;

"Yeah, you know, ganja, weed, pot, reefer, cannabis..."

Light suddenly dawned on the Japanese midget.

"Ah, marijuana."

"Yes, marijuana."

The bearded Mexican looked at Yugi for a second before asking.

"You do know where we can get some, right?"

"Oh, yes, you can refill your duel disk at the counter, there is one on each boat."

"What?"

"Did you not here the rules at the start?"

"No, we were... asleep."

"Ah, when you duel, you breath in Marijuana when you lose life points. Would you like a duel now?"

The two looked at each other and replied in unison.

"Uh... O...K?"

"Great, what are your names?"

"I'm Cheech Marin, and this is my compadré Tommy Chong."

"Who wants to duel me first?"

"Uh, Tommy will."

"Ok."

Chong whispered to his friend;

"Hey, man why I gotta go first?"

"You get to try out the weed first man. I was being friendly."

"You were just scared weren't you?"

"Was not."

"Shall we duel or what?"

Yugi had begun fiddling with his duel disk, impatient for the match.

"Ok"

"Would you like to play with Deckmasters?"

"Uh, yeah sure."

"Ok, pick one monster from your deck and put it in the slot."

Part of Chong's duel disk opened up as he began looking through his deck.

"Um, I'll play this one."

He said, laying the total defence shogun into the slot.

His earpiece spoke up at that point in a slightly feminine voice.

"Total defence Shogun can use his effect total defence barrier to destroy any monster that attacks your life points directly. A sacrifice of 500 life points must be made to make this effect work however. Fortunately for the less experienced duellist, total defence barrier activates automatically unless asked not to, the command 'stoic' is used to prevent your deck master from using his effect."

"Wow man."

"Impressive choice of deck master Mr. Chong, I'll use Dark magician, my favourite card."

"What does that do?"

"Normally, the players opponent doesn't find out until the effect is used, but seeming as I know total defence shogun's, I'll tell you Dark Magician's, it can duplicate any magic card on the field if I pay 1000 life points."

At this point Chong's earpiece cut in again;

"Magic cards are green, and there effects are written on them, you place them in the slots on the side of your duelling disk and press the button underneath them when you wish to use them, be careful for you only get 5 slots, and some magic cards carry on for ever, you can play as many magic cards as you want per turn, though you can only play them in your opponents turn If it is a quick play magic card, these have this symbol on the top under the name of the card."

The symbol was displayed on Chong's earpiece.

"Chong-san shall we duel now?"

"Errr... yes?"

"Then click the switch on the side of your duel disk to active, and don't get your fingers trapped."

Chong flicked the switch, the half-fields swung out to meet each other and extended away from his hand, then they clicked into place.

"You can go first."

"No. errrr you go first."

said Chong stalling for time.

"Very well."

Yugi drew 5 cards and Chong copied him, black, holographic smoke issued from the duel disks to simulate the shadow realm, and a gas mask popped out from each duel disk and attached to their respective owners heads.

"What the hell's this for?"

"That will release the marijuana when your life points are hurt."

"Ah."

His earpiece explained the basic rules to him and he watched Yugi's move.

"I place 1 card face down, and summon gazelle, the king of mythical beasts in defence mode. Your turn."

Cheech and Chon flipped out at the hologram that appeared before them

"Ok, man.... I..... draw."

Chong looked at his hand, he had an orange card called King's knight, a green card called pot of greed, a pink one called mirror force, a yellow one called 7 coloured fish, another orange one called Queen's knight, and another green one called mystical space typhoon.

"Ok, first I play magic card... Pot of greed."

He thumbed the card into the slot.

That's a powerful magic card!

"And I use my deck master's effect to copy it."

Yugi coughed as he breathed in 1000 life points worth of damage, and they each drew 2 new cards.

Chong got an orange sonic bird, and a blue hungry burger.

"I uh... summon sonic bird in attack, and place two cards down."

His earpiece spoke up;

"Sonic Bird; can get one ritual magic card from your deck,

You have 1 ritual magic card in your deck,

Your ritual cards are: 1.burger recipe

To get a ritual magic card choose the number of the card you would like.

"Errr... 1?"

A small beam of light searched through his deck, and then a tractor beam built into the disc transferred it into his hand.

"Wow.... Trippy. I attack your monster."

Sonic bird fired itself at the monster, but bounced off.

"There attack and defence points are the same, my go?"

"Uh... yeah."

"I summon beta the magnet warrior in attack mode and switch gazelle to attack mode, then beta take out his sonic bird and gazelle attack his life points!!"

Chong rose his arms to protect himself, and inadvertently hit the switch for mirror force, beta bounced off it into gazelle, destroying them both.

"Wow... did I do that?"

"I place one card face down then end my turn, you really got me that time."

Yami would have figured that out, still I'll get him back.

"I draw."

Chong drew a magic card, he was beginning to get a feel for the game, it was one which he recognised Cheech's cousin giving them in Mexico.

"I play the magic card, monster bong, this card drains my life points and lets my monster bong it up, doubling his strength for one turn."

His sonic bird pulled out a bong, and used its jetpack to ignite it, as it filled up woith smoke, Chong's life points decreased, giving him a hit from the disk's pot release system.

He began thinking more clearly.

"This is good shit, man; now mystical space typhoon will destroy your newest face down card."

Yugi's mirror force blew off the field, while the disk, moved the card into the graveyard.

"Now my stoned sonic bird, attack his life points!"

Yugi's life points decreased to 4200

"Now I activate the trap Nutrient Z, which lets me get 4000 life points when you take away more than 2000 of mine."

His life points went back up to 8200.

"Your turn man."

"Thanks, I draw."

Now, the perfect combination, thank god Yami sealed away the power of the gods

"Chong-san, I am afraid, you are going to lose now. I activate graceful charity to draw 3 new cards, then I discard my slither the sky dragon, and twisted kuriboh, then I use my face down monster reborn to bring back slither the sky dragon."

The giant Egyptian god flowed out of Yugi's grave to Cheech and Chong's gasps of horror.

"With 6 cards in my hand, its attack points are 6000, though if I activate my magic card megamorph, as my life points are lower than yours, it raises Slyther's attack power to 10000, and because your monster bong is only in effect on your turn, your sonic bird goes back down to 1400, so if I attack you, you'll take 8600 points of damage. Now do you want to resign, or do you want to get very high?"

"I'll take the dope kid."

"Slyther the sky dragon! ATTACK Sonic bird! Dragon pincer!"

The Egyptian god flew up into the sky as high as it could, then swooped back down, and grabbed sonic bird in one of its claws, flew back up, spun round in the air, and lobbed it, directly downwards at Chong, the weed hit him like a sledge hammer, and he keeled over.

"I'll have your monster bong please."

Said Yugi, powering down his duel disk.

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Next Time, Yugi faces Cheech, but can he defeat the Mexican without his millennium puzzle?

"Haha, man, your sky dragon sucks balls compared to the magic card I just drew. You is gunna lose man!"

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(Back in L-space)

I'm sorry if you disagree with your characters nationality. Or any mannerisms they may have picked up. My plan is not to offend any body.

If anybody in the tournament tells me where I've stolen the new American from, then they automatically gets to the next round.

(Mr. Towel disappears in a cloud of funny smelling smoke, leaving just the reader, north is the review button, behind you is the story, pick one exit.)