(L-Space) (In front of you is Mr. Towel who is typing the story on an old keyboard)

Welcome back, and if you wish to enter, please also include attk, def points of your cards and their effect, unless it's a really common one, because I don't want to have to spend ages looking up every cards detail before they get played.

I do not own yugioh, nor the concept of millennium item cards. Or Garth Merengi's darkplace, or Cheech or chong.

I'm Edd, A.K.A Mr. Towel, author, genius, dream weaver, plus actor. You are about to enter the world of my imagination; You are about to enter: My 'Stoner's realm'

(Pulls paper off typewriter and throws it behind him.)

Cue the theme music

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(Intro scenes)

(Explosions!)

(Duels)

(Yami jumping from an exploding ambulance with a baby in his arms)

(Yugi and Yami reaching for each other)

(Kaiba smoking cannabis and laughing)

(Big Explosion)

YUGIOH,
ENTER THE STONER'S REALM

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(Boat 2)

Seto watched as the red-headed boy and his friend walked off, he turned around and saw tournament officials pick up the two losers who had both passed out from the sheer power of the smoke.

Behind him he heard a soft voice;

"Kaiba, I have come for you!"

He wheeled around to see a throng of people gradually dispersing, he noticed a green head, a kid with brown hair with a red cap, Espa Roba, Tristan Taylor and Ryou Bakura, he rounded on the silver haired boy.

"Bakura! What was that?"

"What was what Richard?"

"What?"

"My point exactly."

The spirit of the millennium ring marched off haughtily.

When he reached his room he locked the door and fazed out of his body, leaving Ryou in control.

"She lost!"

"Now you won't be able to talk to her."

"Quiet you, she defeated Wheeler, but he got the points, now this Payne defeated her."

"Wow, you really are smitten."

"I am not!"

He shouted.

(?????)

Miswim sat up; she was in a purple fog which stretched further than her eyes could see.

"Where am I?"

"I...."

"I...."

"I..."

"I.."

The echoes bounced back off nothing.

She sat down and waited.

(Boat 5)

"Okay Marin-san. Your turn."

"Call me Cheech, man."

Said the Mexican.

"As you insist Cheech-san, my name is Yugi."

"Nice name man."

"Thank you, shall we duel."

"Sure, I pick this 'Fiend Megacyber' as my deck master."

"I'll have Kuriboh. Let's duel!"

(Bakura's room)

"I've got to get back on track, Miswim was supposed to win me the millennium puzzle from that guy that defeated Wheeler, now Payne has it, and she's out of the tournament."

"Fine, we'll beat Payne."

"Either him or his friend have Ra and the other one has exodia, it's to risky, if only I could get my hands on another Egyptian god card, or a few more souls.

HOW ABOUT ANOTHER MILLENIUM ITEM?

"Who said that!?"

Shouted the soul brothers together as they wheeled round looking for the intruder

(?????)

Miswim did not know how long she had waited there in the shadows, it all seemed familiar, but she couldn't recall where she'd seen it all before.

A dark figure began to walk towards Miswim out of the mist, growing more pronounced with every step; it began as a dark outline, human shaped.

As it got closer Miswim realised it was clutching something in its arms.

It looked like... a doll....

(Boat 2)

Kaiba strode up and down the boat trying to think, who had said that to him? He already knew the answer to why, he was the best duellist in the world, and everybody wanted to beat him, Yugi only beat him last time because of luck, his new deck was unbeatable and he'd tested it against a computer simulation of Yugi's, and if Yugi beat it then it was proof that he was cheating somehow, probably that millennium puzzle.

Kaiba looked up, he'd accidentally wandered over to boat 5, he looked round the corner and saw Yugi duelling.

I'll leave you to the finals, once I've beaten you, I want you out of this tournament.

Seto turned around and as he started to walk back to the rope bridge he thought he heard Mokuba's voice in the background

(Yugi)

"I summon my Queen's Knight to the field to join my King's knight, and then I use their special ability to summon Knave's knight to the field!"

The 3rd knight appeared on the field.

"As your nightmare steel cage is still in play, I can't attack, but neither can you, your turn!"

Yugi Cheech

7500 3000

"Fine amigo, I draw."

The Mexican pulled a card from the top of his deck "Haha, man, your sky dragon sucks balls compared to the magic card I just drew. You is gunna lose man! Now I use my deckmasters ability. Because you have 3 more monsters on the field than me, I can summon a level 5 or 6 monster with no sacrifice!"

The only magic card on the field was Cheech's nightmare steel cage, which ended at the end of this turn.

"So Behold, my bleached summoned skull."

A pile of bones that nobody had noticed before on the floor started to rattle, the sun had bleached them an eerie white colour, they rattled some more, and Cheech's deck master ripped the cloak off his back and threw it on top of the remains.

The cloak lifted slightly off the floor,, a horned head could be made out under its folds, it rose higher and a ribcage joined the head, then an arm, a leg, a hand.

Finally a bony hand reached from under the cloak, and swung it around onto its back, and there stood a summoned skull, whiter than the sun, around him, the shadows were staved off by his shining brilliance.

Oh shit

Thought Yugi.

That's one of those re-releases with an effect, what does it do?

"Yeah, itssummoned skull, well, your move."

The cage around Yugi evaporated.

"Ok...."

Yugi drew.

(?????)

Miswim looked at her duel disk on her arm; it looked the same as what was in the figures arms as it strode closer and closer, through the dark purple fog.

It grew closer and she could make out a bald head, long pointed ears, no, long wasn't the right word, tall, they were tall pointed ears, like in fantasy depictions of an elf. She looked down at its legs; she could make out large boots that travelled up to a point next to the waist.

She looked closer, it didn't make sense, but she could make out fire behind it, no, not fire, the spirit of fire, fire without any physical presence.

Her thoughts were erratic.

I still must be tired after that duel.

She thought.

The duel, the purple mist, that was where it was from, the fog was that which came out of the duel disks.

She began to feel reassured and frightened as the thing approached her, she could make out body armour, and the bald head seemed to be... blue.

(Boat 5)

"Haha, I beat you, that's 8000 points for me, only 2000 more to go and I'll get to the next round!"

"I'll duel you!"

"Ha, sure, I'll whoop your....... Seto?"

"Mokuba."

The two brothers looked at each other.

"Mokuba, why didn't you tell me you had entered?"

"I tried, but you kept ignoring me, I eventually decided to surprise you at round 2."

"Well, you're doing pretty well, you have more points than me, and I only have 6000."

"I thought you'd be mad?"

"Why would I be mad?"

"The pot..."

"No, best to try these things when you're young."

"Seto... I'm 12.

"So?"

"Mokuba, how do you think I survived all those nights without sleep when I was 10? They laced my coke with speed, as long as you don't try anything that can hurt you, I'm fine with it, I mean you've got drunk right?"

"Seto, I repeat, I'm 12."

"Mokuba, that camera, the one in the rec room, the one you think doesn't work..."

"Oh shit. What, you don't care?"

"Not about that sort of thing, no, I care about you enjoying yourself, and I don't want you in danger, that's it."

"Seto?"

"And........ I am very, very stoned."

"Ah."

(?????)

"Miswim."

The voice didn't echo, it seemed harsh, like a sharp wind creeping over gravestones at night; it went straight to her brain, without the intervention of her ears.

Wait a second, I lost that duel, I'm out of the tournament.

The fog scared her more.

"Miswim, I have come for you."

Miswim scrabbled backwards; the floor seemed to be made of silver sand, reflecting light from some unknown source.

Suddenly without warning, the creature lit up with a bright white light. The sand glowed at her face, for it was almost undoubtedly a female.

Miswim stared in disbelief, she knew this creature.

(Bakura's room)

The millennium ring flashed and instantly Behkurah was in control.

"Who are you and what do you want?"

TOMB ROBBER, I SHALL TAKE WHAT I WANT WITHOUT ANYBODIES HELP, BUT IF YOU COULD ASSIST ME I'D BE EVER SO GREATFULL

"Yes, but who are you?"

The robed figure carried on without listening to Behkurah, in a voice that sounded like coffin lids clanging together.

ALSO I SHALL GIVE YOU LONGER TO PREPARE

"For what?"

The hood turned to look directly at Behkurah, and for the first time in his life he knew true fear. Inside the hood he could see two large glowing blue eyes, and he noticed that the figure in black carried a scythe.

FOR WHEN YOU FACE YOUR DESTINY

(Boat 2)

"I sacrifice my 3 knight's to summon Slyther the sky dragon!"

The god flew onto the field, its scales rippling along its back as it coiled around Yugi, and Kuriboh, its head coming to rest on the field where the king's knight had once stood.

"I only have 3 cards in my hand so Slyther's attack is 3000, still more than enough to destroy your summoned skull, go my god monster!"

"Not so fast!"

"Huh? You have no traps!?"

"Yes, but monsterino down here has a special ability, when he gets attacked I can play one magic card from my hand."

"Oh no."

"That's right man, I use the power of mehico to destroy your monster, I play Mexican Burrito!"

"That has ta be tha lamest card I ever saw."

"Joey!"

"Yep, I came bro."

"Where's Yami?"

"I uh, left him in me room, sarree."

"It's ok Joey."

Yugi laughed and turned back to face Cheech.

"Cheech-san, with my friend here, Mexico doesn't stand a chance, proceed with your attack Slyther!"

The god monster finished eating a taco, then flew into the air.

"Uh Yug, I think you're forgettin' what Mexico's famous for."

"What Joey?"

Said Yugi, looking round.

"That!!!"

Shouted Joey as he ran out the way.

Yugi looked up, and falling out of the sky as Slyther dove to attack Cheech's monster was........

(Bakura's room)

The robe suddenly became brisk and business-like;

NOW, I AM LOOKING FOR ONE CALLED SIMON.

"I know no-one called Simon, though I do recognise the name....."

HE WAS FIRST ADVISER TO THE PHAROH IN EGYPT, 3000 YEARS AGO.

"Isn't he dead by now?"

NO

The voice stated, as if it knew everything.

THE MILLENIUM EYE, BRING IT TO ME.

"How did you...."

BRING IT!!!

There was no disobeying that voice, Behkurah went straight for his bedside table.

AND AS FOR WHO I AM, I HAVE MANY NAMES.....

The figure in the robe struck a pose;

I AM HE WHO IS INFINITE, THE DEFEATER OF EMPIRES, SWALLOWER OF OCEANS, THEIF OF YEARS, THE ULTIMATE REALITY, HARVESTER OF MANKIND, THE FINAL DESTINATION, BOATMAN OF THE RIVER STYX, I AM THE ONE 'GAINST WHOM NO LOCK WILL HOLD, NOR FASTENED PORTAL BAR;

I AM DEATH!!!

With this his eyes flared and he pulled back the hood of his robe woven of absolute darkness to expose a grinning skeleton head.

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(Back in L-space)

Now wasn't that an evil, evil cliffie.

If anybody in the tournament tells me where I've stolen the new American from, then they automatically gets to the next round.

(Mr. Towel disappears in a cloud of funny smelling smoke, leaving just the reader, north is the review button, behind you is the story, pick one exit.)