(L-Space) (In front of you is Mr. Towel who is typing the story on an old keyboard)

I do not own yugioh, nor the concept of millennium item cards. Or Garth Merengi's darkplace, or Cheech or chong, and neither do Almighty Bob or Douglas Adams.

Oh and {} now signifies thought as ff.net kept cutting out the hash's.

I'm Edd, A.K.A Mr. Towel, author, genius, dream weaver, plus actor. You are about to enter the world of my imagination; You are about to enter: My 'Stoner's realm'

(Pulls paper off typewriter and throws it behind him.)

Cue the theme music

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------

(Intro scenes)

(Explosions!)

(Duels)

(Yami jumping from an exploding ambulance with a baby in his arms)

(Yugi and Yami reaching for each other)

(Kaiba smoking cannabis and laughing)

(Big Explosion)

YUGIOH,
ENTER THE STONER'S REALM

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------

(The Shadow realm)

Dark Necrofear strode towards the spot were Msiwim had been;

"Easy victory, now where's her deck? She should have dropped it here."

White streaks of nothingness flew together from all over the shadow realm. Reforming Miswim's monsters, her duel disk, and finally Miswim.

Almighty Bob seemed to have vanished though.

Miswim flapped her wings and slowly got to her feet;

She had very little strength left, and she was still shaking.

"I realised... my deckmasters ability..... I didn't know it.... But I used it any way, and it redirected Ra's attack on almighty Bob,.... The one I chose..... Now I play Yami,... Then using the magic card Gateway to Anubis, I discard my hand to replace it with Anubis Noir, then, I sacrifice my 3 monsters to summon him, and I direct attack, with my favourite monster!!! Go Anubis Noir!!!"

The enormous jackal bounced towards the dark Necrofear and ripped her head off, destroying the one remaining life point she possessed, as she collapsed into trails of dark nothingness that broke apart. Miswim heard a voice on the wind.

"I'll be back little girl, and I'll get you!!!"

And Then She Woke Up.

(Boat 27, Virtual Reality suite)

Miswim woke up and looked around, she was in a small egg-shaped booth, and her duel disk was on her arm, she leafed through her cards, relieved to find dark Necrofear back.

Miswim pushed up the glass dome that was over the top of her and stood up;

It was an empty room, empty apart from rows of computer terminals and the single VR booth.

Miswim climbed out of the booth, and looked around tentatively.

"Hello?"

Her voice quavered.

clap

clap

clap

A man walked through the entrance way;

"Well done, you made it past the first stage, several friends of our sponsor have asked that you take part in this extra game, a lot of us were betting that he would defeat you, but you won, so on to the next duel were you shall risk life and limb, against an opponent known as the dagger of death, come, we must leave to boat 30."

(Boat 1)

Yugi came up onto the deck of the boat looking for a duel, he needed to qualify for the next round, Yami would surely be there, and then he'd have a much easier chance of finding him with less people around.

"So Mai, you ain't scared of the shadows no more?"

Yugi heard Joey's voice, he darted inside the cabins again, he didn't want to talk to him, not till he got Yami back.

(Boat 1)(Deck)

"Of course not numbskull, Miswim did the best thing she could of by defeating me, it made me realise that these shadow games aren't real, with what happened last time I went into the shadows, to be honest I wasn't sure whether these had hidden dangers. Lets go find a double duel hun, we both need some extra points."

"Stop right there hiohohohohohohoho."

"Oh for fucks sake, I thought he wasn't in this tournament."

Weevil stepped out from behind a fat person.

"You two want a double duel ey? Well I've accumulated 8000 tournament points, and my friend has 9000."

Rex also stepped out from behind the fat person who disappeared moments after.

"So we'll do a double duel with me risking 1000 to Joey and Rex risking 2000 to Mai, while Mai's thousand will be Rex's when we win, and Joey's two thousand shall henceforth belong to Me."

"Weevil, I beaten both of ya before, and Mai's whipped Rex, between the two of us, you stand no chance."

"Okay, if you're so confident, me and rex will each bet another 200 points, if you to risk your decks as well."

"Yeah!"

"Ok Hun, you ready for this?"

"Sure am, Mai."

/

"Let's do /

this" / "let's

/ do this!"

/

"We'll play the rules were life points are shared, that way if one person has no defence, both suffer."

"We'll play by your rules if we can have deck masters."

"Hyohohohohoho, I stole the rules off the internet and were thoroughly prepared, I'll have my insect Hive!"

"Deckmasters ey? I'll have fossilized amber!"

"Ladies first."

"Why thank you Joey, Queen Harpy!!"

"Jinzo!!"

"Where did you get a card that powerful Wheeler?"

"He beat Espa Roba."

"The psychic duellist?"

"The very same."

"I could ask how you got your card Weevil."

"Well, don't broadcast it around, but a friend of mine works in one of the duel disk booths and I've got one of the evolution cards that we're not supposed to be given until round 2, yours is some sort of dog, wheeler, now are we duelling or are we talking?

"Fine, I'll go first and summon Cyber Harpy in offensive mode, Weevil?"

"One monster face down, and 2 other cards. Doggy?"

"I'll get you Weevil, I place 2 cards face down and summon the flaming swordsman in attack, and then I power him up with Salamandra, beat that. Rex?"

2400

"Fine, I'll summon try-horned wilderbeast:"

1800

"I activate 2 elegant egotists and summon 2 harpy sisters from my deck,"

2100 1800 2100 2400

(????) 2100

"Now Harpy sisters attack first Weevil's monster, then his life points!"

One of the pairs of Harpy sisters swooped on the face down card, and flew up into the air, tearing it apart, while the other pair flew at weevil underneath, but the harpy sisters dropped the card and just before the other pair hit Weevil, a man eater bug jumped out of it and tore off their heads.

"Hyohohohohoho, my face down monster was a man eater bug, and it destroyed your harpy sisters before they could reach my life points."

"I still have cyber harpy, attack Weevil, now!!"

The cyber harpy flew towards weevil, but man eater bug jumped out of the hive behind him and devoured it before falling to the floor and exploding.

"My hive can duplicate any effect used by an insect monster throughout the duel, hyohoho."

"Damn, that's one good effect."

"You said it Joe, but I don't think he can use that man-eater bug's effect again."

"You are right for once Miss Valentine. Now, if you are done, I shall summon one monster face down and end my turn."

"If that's not another man-eater bug, I'll eat Mai's new shoes; I summon Goblin attack force and use offerings to the doomed to destroy it."

"You better not be wrong there sweet cakes, these shoes cost 100 dollars."

The face down card was destroyed by the magic.

"Was I right Weevil?"

"I'll tell you when you end your turn."

"Fine, I'll..."

"Wait Joey, Rex's monster has got more powerful."

"That's right, I was waiting for you fools to notice, it can't attack in the turn it's summoned, but in every of my opponent's standby phases, it gains 300 more attack points!"

2400

"Joey, take it out now while you still can!"

"Alright, flame swordsman; attack Rex's try-horned wilderbeast!"

The warrior nodded its head then swung its flaming blade at the monster's head, just as the blade severed the top of the neck, the beast stuck its 3 horns into the swordsman's chest, the mystical fire blade cut through the rest of the big creature's neck, but the flame swordsman started wheezing, then exploded into a million fragments.

"Now goblin attack force, attack Rex directly!"

"Not so fast, I quick play my offerings to the doomed to destroy your goblin attack force."

"Thanks Weevil."

"You should have changed the field in your first move, then that swordsman wouldn't have taken out your wilderbeast."

Joey laughed at the bickering between the two team mates

"My turn now, I play monster reborn to b...."

Out of Weevil's graveyard came a snake, it wiggled onto the field, then pulled a card over its head.

"What the fuck?"

"Hyohohoho, if its in the graveyard during somebody's standby phase, water snake returns to the field in face down defence. Oh yes, I almost forgot, insect hive, bring back man eater bug."

A man eater bug crawled out of the hive and pulled a card over its head to protect itself.

"See, I don't need to draw next turn, I have a fool proof strategy, you can not summon enough monsters per turn to defeat me!!!"

Rex Raptor looked impatient;

"As I was saying, I use monster reborn to bring back my wilderbeast, it'll have to start all over again, and I'll summon a monster face down and end my turn, Mai?"

8000
Joey Mai
()()
2100

(????)(????) (????)2100
() Weevil Underwood Rex Raptor
8000

"I'll equip my remaining harpy sisters with a cyber shield and a rose whip and attack your wilderbeast Rex!"

The sisters flew at the wilder beast, one flicked its whip and wrapped it around the creature's legs, and the other caught it in the face, the tri- horned beast disappeared in a cloud of shards.

8000
Joey Mai
()() (CS)(RW)
2900

(????)(????) (????)2100
() Weevil Underwood Rex Raptor
7200

"Way to go Rex, it's my turn left, and I'm not taking any chances, I flip my man eater bug to destroy your harpy sisters Mai, and then I sacrifice both it and my face down water snake to summon my insect queen! I had to fight a lot of duels to get this card back Wheeler, you know what I had to do?"

The enormous insect appeared with an attack of 2200

"Weevil, now don't you go taking your problems out on me, you challenged me to that duel, and I won it, even though you didn't play by the rules."

"I don't care what you have to say, my hive can now man-eater bug's effect again, and I'll use water snake's effect to get it back again, face it, my combo is unbeatable Wheeler. So, I guess I'll attack you directly, Insect Queen! Get Joey!!"

The enormous monster attacked Joey and tried to rip his arm off, but Joey activated a trap card and his and Mai's life points rose to 9800.

"Wuh? What just happened Wheeler? You better not be cheating!!"

"What and be like you Weevil? Not likely, Nutrient Z rose our life points by 4000 before your attack hit home."

"It's only a matter of time Joey!"

"Shut up Rex!"

Joey drew his card and Weevil's two monsters slithered back onto the field

9800
Joey Mai
()

(????)(????)(2200) (????)2100
() Weevil Underwood Rex Raptor
7200

"Ok, hows this combo?"

Joey pulled 3 cards out of his hand.

"First I summon 7 coloured fish and attach malevolent nuzzler to raise its attack higher than your insect Queen's!"

"Fool, Insect hive! Man-eating-bug!!"

The insect flew out of one of the windows in the hive and devoured the fish, Joey's card went back onto the top of his deck.

"Not quite that stupid Weevil, I play pot of greed and get malevolent nuzzler and another card, now I can play an unbeatable combination of cards."

"What? You've already summoned this turn!!"

Weevil freaked out as Joey carried on, not missing a step.

"First I play giant trunade, removing all our magic & trap cards to our hands, then Raigeki shall remove all of your monsters, and finally I use polymerisation to fuse summoned skull and my red eyes black dragon to form the black skull dragon, then I play sleight of hand which allows me to draw magic card from my graveyard, and any fused monster to attack straight away, then finally I play pot of greed againand summon my deck master to the field."

3400

"You done Wheeler?"

"Nope, I use metal morph to turn my big monstermonster into a machine and use limiter removal to double its attack power!! "

6800 4800

"What!?" "What!?" "What!?"

"Now attack Weevil directly!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The metal dragon fired an enormous fireball at Weevil, almost wiping out the two's life points.

9800
Joey Mai

(6800) (4800)

Weevil Underwood Rex Raptor
0400

"Look dude, if you want to miss out on the pot, you can resign now."

"Take your worst shot, you realise if I have a card in my hand that can stop your attack, then you lose Joey, limiter removal will destroy Jinzo."

"You're bluffing."

"No I'm not, jeez Wheeler, don't you even know what your card does?"

"I know alright!"

"Joey!"

Mai suddenly sounded out from her point on the field.

"Mai?"

"Listen Joey, limiter removal does destroy your monsters that it affects, you should know that. Look Joey no matter what you do Jinzo will die at the end of this turn, defeat Weevil now and we'll win!!"

"But what if he has a Kuriboh or something?"

"Then it'll be up to me to win, listen Joey you will definitely lose if you don't attack, you have nothing to lose, you can end this right now, come on Joey!"

"Jinzo!! Attack Weevil directly!"

The robotic telepath reached its hands up to its head.

A glow began to grow, white searing light, bright enough to hurt the eyeballs built up in between its hands.

Jinzo made a thrusting motion towards Weevil and threw the golden ball at him an explosion engulfed Weevil, and Joey thought he could see something in front of him, but the explosion hit, and Weevil was surrounded by smoke.

(L-space)

Well wasn't that fun, see you next time.

(Disappears with a puff of weird smelling smoke, leaving behind the review button as your only escape)