(L-Space) (In front of you is Mr. Towel who is typing the story on an old keyboard)

I do not own yugioh, southpark, or Garth Merengi's darkplace, or Invader Zim

Oh and {} now signifies thought as kept cutting out the hash's.

I'm Edd, A.K.A Mr. Towel, author, genius, dream weaver, plus actor. You are about to enter the world of my imagination; You are about to enter: My 'Stoner's realm'

(Pulls paper off typewriter and throws it behind him.)

Cue the theme music

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(Intro scenes)

(Explosions!)

(Duels)

(Yami jumping from an exploding ambulance with a baby in his arms)

(Yugi and Yami reaching for each other)

(Kaiba smoking cannabis and laughing)

(Big Explosion)

YUGIOH,
ENTER THE STONER'S REALM

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(boat 17)

"So you wish to duel me!?!?"

"Well I kinda want to qualify for round 2 before the big rush."

"Hahahahahahahahahaha."

Edd looked at the teen in disbelief.

"Nobody ever says hahaha, they just laugh."

"I knew that, I'm normal, I love earth!!!"

Shouted the small teenager with the waxed black hair.

"Now yes, you duel me, for 4500 points and 1 card!"

"Yeah."

"Then let us duel!!!"

The weird looking kid slammed his hand down on his flying saucer shaped duel disk, the top folded open to reveal his deck and out of the sides folded his field.

"Uh, just one thing, what's your name?"

"Z- er Tim."

"Zertim?"

"No, Tim, I love earth!!"

Tim raised his hand in a quick salute when he said that before placing his deck master into the side, his dog sat watching.

"O...k...."

Edd selected his deck master, as the purple clouds formed around him, moisture creature's face could be made out behind him.

Behind Tim however, something entirely different was happening.

"Since you challenged the almighty Tim I get to go first!"

"Fine by me."

"Though you may....er..."

Edd had interrupted Tim in the middle of his speech, he was not pleased.

"I was going to be kind, but now I shall completely annihilate you!"

"Give me your best shot 'Tim'."

Tim placed two face down cards on the field and summoned la jinn the mystical genie of the lamp.

"Ha, how do you like me now? You do not know whether I have traps or not!!!"

Edd drew and placed two cards on the field also, then without saying a word he summoned a monster, the card appeared on the arena and black smoke poured out of it, then a warrior clothed in blue, red and purple leaped out of it and into the air, his cloak billowing behind him.

2100/500

"Now, Moisture creature! Destroy Tim's magic or trap cards."

From behind him his deck master fired viral globules at Tim's trap cards, evaporating them completely.

"Zombyra the dark! Attack La jinn."

The warrior leapt up again and punched La jinn into Tim, forcing him to choke on the cannabis fumes.

"Lesson one, if you're going first never start with an attacking monster."

"Grrrrrr!"

Outside the hologrammatic field, Tim's dog's ears pricked up.

"Your move Mr.Tim."

Tim reached down and drew a card;

"Ahaha, I activate the magic card hamster Wheel to sacrifice 2 pretty powerful monsters from my hand to summon my almighty beast! Peepee!!"

An enormous hamster wheel appeared on the field, and Tim's monsters filed into it, it span round and around until the shapes blurred together, leaving a hamster.

1800/2000

"erbilfwirble."

Edd's head blurred for a second and his mouth flapped about making a weird noise.

"A hamster? ok, so what's its effect?"

"I shall not tell you until I use it."

"Fine, as Zombyra the dark has more attack points I expect you won't be attacking?"

"That is correct earthling."

Edd raised his eyebrows, but took his turn anyway.

"Ok, I activate Raigeki break to discard barrel dragon and destroy peepee."

A finger extended out of the trap card to fire a bolt of lightning at the hamster, but instead of destroying it, Peepee ate the lightning bolt and grew bigger

2100/2300

"You cannot destroy Peepee with Traps or magic! And what does not harm him makes him stronger! 300 attack and defence points stronger to be exact!"

"Cool, ok then, I use monster reborn to bring back barrel dragon from the grave and since his effect may not destroy peepee I'll attack!"

The dragon with the cannons on its back lumbered out of the orange card, it aimed its cannons, but then looked at the hamster.

It lowered its cannons.

The mechanical dragon opened its mouth and said;

"I can't destroy it! It's so cute!!"

The hamster ran towards the barrel dragon and swallowed it

2400/2600

"Oh, are you upset Mr. Payne? Peepee's too cute, no monster under level 8 will attack him, he just swallows them and grows more powerful!!"

"Ok Tim, I've got a proposition for you, I wish to raise the stakes of this duel."

"Really? I was thinking the same thing."

"How about we each bet 2 cards rather than just one, for if I win, I will get Peepee and his ritual card the hamster wheel, and if you win you can pick any two cards from my deck that you want."

Tim thought to himself for a second.

{what I've seen of his deck so far makes me realise its potential, If I win this duel and get 2 cards rather than 1 I can win all the millennium items and take over the world far more easily than with only 1.}

"I accept your wager, Edd."

"Fine, then I'll switch Zombyra the dark into defence mode and end my turn."

"Haha, Peepee eat Zombyra the dark!"

The hamster dived forward and swallowed Edd's warrior whole.

2700/2900

"Now try and defeat me!"

Edd considered his position for a moment before drawing his card.

{There is one way I can defeat Peepee, but the conditions have to be just right...}

"I summon one monster to the field; face down, your move Tim."

"Haha, I attack your feeble face down monster with Peepee!"

The hamster charged forwards and tore the card into 2 pieces and put them into its mouth

3000/3200

A spear cretin showed its head through peepee's jaw just before it was swallowed, a light blipped on Tim's headset.

"What now?"

"Well when spear cretin is flipped and destroyed we each bring back 1 monster from the grave and put it face down defence."

Tim smiled to himself and slipped the man-eater bug he'd discarded to summon Peepee onto his duel disk.

Edd slipped his barrel dragon back onto his disk; it was all part of his plan.

"So you're giving me reinforcements now? Why not resign and get it over with?"

"Do you end your turn?"

"I put one card on the field first! Now move before I utterly destroy you."

"Ok."

Edd drew, he had only one thing left to do, and if this didn't work, hell, he could always destroy Peepee with Moisture creature and Megamorph.

"I use the special ability of my Lava golem to summon it to your side of the field by sacrificing your two monsters!"

Shouted Edd over the noise of Tim's dog singing the doom song.

"Ha, you can not destroy peepee by monster effect either you fool, I......"

Peepee turned into white light and mixed with the man eater bug to form enough duel monster essence for an 8 star monster, a cage slammed down around Tim....

"Argh, I'm trapped they're going to take me to a lab!!!"

And the silvery light formed into a giant lava golem. Edd's face down card was pushed up by the monster underneath, which got into battle position.

"Barrell dragon use your effect to take down lava golem!"

Three coins flipped into the air, a heads, a tails and....

A heads,

Lava golem exploded under the volley of fire from barrel dragon's cannons.

"Now I pay 500 life points to destroy your face down card with moisture creature's ability."

"Then I move moisture creature onto the field and equip it with megamorph."

Moisture creature doubled in size, and floated down to the field.

Edd set his face into an evil leer and cackled;

"Now my pretties attack Tim!"

Both barrel dragon and moisture creature fired their weapons at 'Tim', and he disappeared under the explosion, his life points dropped to zero and his lungs almost burst from the pot smoke.

The holograms shut off and Edd collected his cards, Tim's dog pulled out a muffin from somewhere and ate it, then Tim shouted

"I'm gunna sing the doom song!!"

This seemed to excite the dog who sung with his master as they frolicked to the next ship;

"Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom, Doom, doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom! The end."

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(L-space)

(The room is empty, you see nothing, a hamster speeds across your vision, leaving your only 1 exit, the review button.)