Hunter's Jewel Chapter 7

Mireloth was more overwrought than she had ever been in her life. Celegorm's words had shaken her terribly, and were made all the worse because some part of her wished to return his feelings. He asks me to love him, she thought, but how can I do so after what he has done? When Avarion found her in the tent, she was sitting on a small stool, on the verge of tears. "Mireloth?" he asked softly. When he saw that the tears had spilled over, his voice took on a harder edge. "What did he do to you?"

"He did nothing, Avarion. He and his brothers were very kind to me," Mireloth replied.

"Then why are you crying?"

"He…" Mireloth paused for a moment, then burst into fresh tears. "How could he ask this of me? How could he ask me to give him my heart, when I know what he has done? How could I love someone who has no misgivings about committing murder?"

Avarion considered Mireloth's words, as well as her grief. He chose his next words very carefully. "Do you know what Lord Celegorm and his brothers are bound by? None of them can rest until the Silmarils are recovered. And, no, they are not the soulless creatures you believe them to be. Each death on behalf of those jewels weighs on them."

"What am I to do now?" whispered Mireloth through her tears.

"This is your choice, Mireloth. I can only offer you counsel."

"Thank you, Avarion. For all you have done for me."

Avarion smiled. "You are as much a daughter to me as my own children. Come, we must get to work. I have a feeling this is going to be another unpleasant day."

Avarion was not too far off the mark with his prediction. Not only was that day horrible, but so were the next three. Mireloth had never seen so many wounded, and the worst was supposedly still to come. Even the most experienced healers were driven to near distraction by the sheer number of casualties. Worse, supplies were running low. Healers were now forced to wash and reuse bandages rather than burning them. Mireloth barely gave a thought to Celegorm in those frantic days. However, it was not to last. On the fifth night, a visitor called. Mireloth was nearly asleep from exhaustion, something rarely seen in the Eldar. Avarion was sufficiently awake to greet their guest. "Lord Maglor, what brings you to this Valar forsaken place?" he asked.

"I bring a gift for the Lady Mireloth, as well as the greetings of the House of Feanor.'

Hearing this, Mireloth staggered to her feet. "Lord Maglor? Forgive us, we were not…"

"It is I who should beg forgiveness for my intrusion. Please, accept this gift from my brother, Celegorm."

Mireloth accepted the exquisite wooden box that Maglor handed her. Maglor took his leave, instructing Mireloth to wait until he was gone to open the box. Mireloth was puzzled, but agreed. Within seconds after Maglor left, Avarion motioned for Mireloth to open the box. Mireloth nearly dropped the gift in shock when she did. Resting on a delicate silver chain was a rose, carved out of a blood-red ruby. "By Varda Elentari…" Mireloth gasped. Avarion was equally stunned. "Well," he said slowly, " why don't you put it on?" Mireloth's hands were shaking too much for that task, so Avarion removed the necklace from the box and clasped it around Mireloth's neck. The effect was stunning, like fresh blood on new snow. "I had heard that the Noldor were the greatest of all the Eldar in the art of gemcraft. I believe it now," said Avarion.

"Why did he do this?" Mireloth wondered aloud.

"I think we both know the answer to that, Mireloth. At the very least, you must thank him for this gift, even if you do not desire his attentions."

"Yes, yes, I must. I will do so now.'

Mireloth abruptly left the tent, leaving an amused Avarion behind. She reminds me of my wife when I first courted her, he thought.

Mireloth could not fathom why she was even going to thank Celegorm for his gift. The last thing she wanted was to see him again. Still, politeness demanded her going to the Feanorian's tent. The first people she saw were Amrod and Amras loitering outside. "Ah, Lady Mireloth! How do you fare on this Valar-forsaken day?" Amras greeted her.
"Well enough, my lords, thank you." Mireloth replied softly.

"You are here to see out brother?"

"If it would not trouble you, my lords."

"On the contrary, it would be a pleasure. Celegorm has been driving us all to distraction with his moodiness."

Amrod, who was still sitting on the ground, leaned over to the tent opening and shouted Celegorm's name. Mireloth shifted uncomfortably when Celegorm's voice issued from inside the tent. "Amras, Amrod, there had better be a very good reason for disturbing me at this hour."

"There is. Just come out," replied Amrod.

Celegorm uttered a string of unpleasant words, all directed at the twins. Amras looked at Mireloth, and rolled his eyes skyward. Celegorm finally emerged from the tent. "Now, why is it you two are disturbing me? Oh, Lady Mireloth! Forgive me, I was not expecting visitors." Mireloth barely registered what Celegorm had said. Celegorm must have been relaxing prior to Mireloth's arrival, and his state of dress proved it. I had thought he was only fair of face, thought Mireloth. Mireloth was eventually able to tear her eyes away from Celegorm's slender, but muscular torso. Mireloth's discomfort only grew when Celegorm came closer to her. "Lady Mireloth? Are you all right?" he asked. Mireloth was only able to nod silently. Neither of them noticed Amras until he tapped Celegorm on the shoulder. "You may want to put this on before being in the company of a lady, my brother. Forgive him, please, Lady Mireloth. He always has been somewhat absentminded," Amras said with a grin.

"Would you two please leave?" barked Celegorm, while slipping on the shirt Amras had given him. The twins barely contained their laughter as they complied. Mireloth found their attitude infectious, but was trying to hide her smile. When she finally found the courage to raise her eyes, she found the same amusement shone in Celegorm's face. Mireloth spoke first. "Lord Celegorm, I wish to thank you for your generous and beautiful gift, but I cannot…" Mireloth trailed off, not wanting to rouse Celegorm's uncertain temper. "You cannot accept it?" supplied Celegorm. Mireloth nodded mutely.
"Of course you can, and you will. Unless you would disobey a Noldorin prince."

"No, never, my lord. I just do not understand your actions."

"I see. You mistrust my intentions. You think I would take you as a plaything, then discard you when I became bored?"

"No…"

"Do you think that a descendent of Finwe, or any Elda, could be that base?"

"My lord, please!" cried Mireloth, becoming more and more frightened by Celegorm's tone.

"I know I have a foul temper, Mireloth, indeed, perhaps the foulest of any of our people, but I will be twice damned if I ever harm you again."
Mireloth was now aware that Celegorm had drawn closer to her. Celegorm's seeming anger had cooled, but the look that replaced it frightened Mireloth even more. There was an intensity in his eyes she had never seen in anyone before. "What must I do to prove myself to you, Mireloth? Tell me, and I will do whatever you ask."

"Nothing. There is nothing you can do, my lord."

"But I believe that there is," whispered Celegorm, "if you would allow me to."

Celegorm closed the small distance between them, and placed his arm around Mireloth's waist. It was like being gripped by a band of steel, but not nearly as cold. With his free hand Celegorm lifted Mireloth's face to his. So this is what he wants, thought Mireloth. It would be so easy to give in, to allow Celegorm to kiss her, but it would not stop there. Mireloth's rational mind screamed for her to resist, and she barely heeded that call. She tore herself out of Celegorm's grasp, and was ready to run as quickly as she could to get away from him. Something in Celegorm's eyes stopped her. Anguish, she saw, followed by dull acceptance. I cannot accept him, Mireloth told herself, I simply cannot. Mireloth tried to unclasp the necklace to return it to Celegorm. "No, Mireloth. It was a gift," he said softly. Mireloth could see that Celegorm was fighting to keep his voice and features calm. "I'll not trouble you again, Mireloth. Farewell." Celegorm retreated to his brother's tent before Mireloth could reply. Mireloth saw no reason to linger either. You got what you wanted, she thought, for he will most assuredly stay out of your life now. Never had such thoughts entered Mireloth's mind, and she was shocked at their coldness. It was only then when she realized what she had done. She had only intended to cool Celegorm's feelings toward her. Instead, she had likely destroyed what little hope and happiness that remained to him. Valar forgive me, she thought, I am worse than he.