(L-Space) (In front of you is Mr. Towel who is typing the story on an old keyboard)
I do not own yugioh, or Garth Merengi's darkplace,
Oh and {} now signifies thought as kept cutting out the hash's.
I'm Edd, A.K.A Mr. Towel, author, genius, dream weaver, plus actor.
You are about to enter the world of my imagination;
You are about to enter: My 'Stoner's realm'
(Pulls paper off typewriter and throws it behind him, the screen follows the paper as it falls down to the deck of a boat.)
Cue the theme music
(Intro scenes)
(Explosions!)
(Duels)
(Yami jumping from an exploding ambulance with a baby in his arms)
(Yugi and Yami reaching for each other)
(Kaiba smoking cannabis and laughing)
(Big Explosion)
YUGIOH,
ENTER THE STONER'S REALM
(Boat 3)
"I'll go first Duke!"
Tristan pulled a new card from his deck
"Fine, going second's better because you can attack straight away."
Tristan looked at the cards in his hand.
{Okay, Yugi's always saying follow the heart of the cards, so I'll pick one card at random and the heart of the cards will guide me.}
Tristan shut his eyes and melodramatically pulled 1 card from his hand and laid it on the duel disc in defensive position, the card shimmered into being on the field as tendrils of the shadow fog drifted around the duellists.
"Your move chump."
"This'll be easier than I thought, you didn't even see what you summoned, I mean, come on, I'll summon goblin attack force and destroy that card."
Goblins charged out of Duke's holographic card and sliced up the piece of cardboard on Tristan's side of the field, kuriboh evaporated with a slight cry of 'Kurrriiiiiiiiii'
Duke burst out laughing;
"God, you're stupid, Kuriboh's only good in the hand or with multiply. I'm surprised that Yugi isn't here, stopping you from making those stupid mistakes."
The goblins sheathed their swords and pulled out their shields, forming a tortoise.
"Now your move, lets see if you can recover."
Tristan smiled to himself, he actually had a plan, he'd deliberately summoned Kuriboh to let Duke think he hadn't learnt anything, {Now time to move this plan into action.}
"Ok Duke, I'll give it my best shot."
He drew.
"Okay, now this may go a little to quickly for you, so play close attention, first I activate dark hole to destroy your monster, now , from my hand, I offer Alpha the magnet warrior, beta, and gamma as a tribute to summon Valkyron the magna warrior "
A black hole sprang out of nothingness, and duke watched as his monster was sucked closer and closer to the edge and then, suddenly, it disappeared.
3 cards appeared, and from each, robot parts flew, as more came out, more and more connected until they formed a mighty robot.
A3500
D3850
"Now, attack!!"
The warrior threw his sword, which spun brilliantly through the air before smashing into Duke's chest, and then the steely warrior extended his hand towards Duke and the dice master watched in amazement as the blade quivered. The warrior stretched out his finger tips until they were as far apart as they could be, and then, without warning the sword shot back into his outstretched fingers, while Duke choked on the smoke pouring into his lungs.
Duke: 4000
Tristan: 8000
"I'll put one card face down, your turn dice boy."
When Tristan ended his turn a hole appeared in the air, it changed shape until it had formed a distinctive outline, then it filled with colour and a goblin attack force dropped out of the sky.
"Using strike ninja's special ability, I paid 500 life points to transport my attack force to another dimension till the end of your turn."
Duke flipped a card out of his deck.
"How's that s'posed to help? You just lost more life points."
"Ah no, for I activate the book of Taiyou to switch him into attack mode, then I sacrifice him to summon Dark scorpion: Gorg the strong"
A scorpion-like monster appeared and devoured the goblins.
A1800
D1500
"How's that supposed to beat Valkyron?"
"Watch and learn, my friend, all I need to do is attach power of the spirit, and megamorph to my monster."
Gorg grew dounble its original size, and started to fade slightly out of view until it was see-through.
"Now attack Tristan!!"
The scorpion lashed its tail out, the rock monster raised its sword to block.... To no avail, the tail went through the monster and into Tristan, knocking him to the ground, where he sat for a second, breathing the hallucinogenic smoke.
T: 4400
D: 4000
Valkyron just froze, Tristan got to his feet and walked, rather unsteadily, around the monster, it looked like a card board cut out, Valkyron had no depth any more, then a gust of wind knocked it backwards, and rising up from the floor to meet it, was its card.
The monster fell onto the holographic card, and attached itself, then, both disappeared, Tristan looked at his duel disc, not surprisingly; the disc had removed the card from the field also.
"Gorg can banish 1 monster every time he damages lifepoints, and my power of spirit card let him attack you directly, of course, you can do the same thing next turn, but then owing to Gorg's effect, I know what card you're getting next, and believe me, it sucks."
Tristan looked at his lack of a hand; he had spent it all in summoning valkyron, now only his face down card could help him.
"I end my turn Tristan, do your worst."
Suspecting fowl play, (he thought Duke was being a headless chicken) Tirstan picked up his next card, and to his horror, it was valkyron the magna warrior.
"Gorg sends 1 monster on the field to the top of your deck, without your 3 magnet warriors, Valkyron just clogs up your deck."
Tristan just said nothing.
"I'm guessing you'll pass this turn?"
The brown-haired teen just nodded.
"Ok, well, I draw, obviously, and look, because you still have more life points than me, Gorg is still all powerful, so I'll just attack you again!"
The scorpion lashed out its tail, knocking Tristan onto his arse again.
T: 0800
D: 4000
The shadow scorpion started to shrink until it was no bigger than a sand scorpion, you'd find in the desert.
A0900
"Now I know that'll finish you off next turn, but you could summon a monster, and I want to get to the swimming pool before the speech, so I'm going to sacrifice Gorg the strong to summon summoned skull, oh and you lost the top card from your deck. Your move."
Gorg swelled back to normal size, a couple of lumps started to grow on its back, before they broke open, and a skeleton climbed out of the carcass.
Tristan pondered his position, Duke's last attack had indeed sent a monster to the graveyard from the top of his deck, before picking up his next card he decided to consider a strategy with his 1 card on the field, when all of a sudden he thought he saw a giant banana in the fog;
Trust in me, trust in the mythical purple banana!!!!
The banana was indeed purple, and he wasn't sure if it was real, but trusting the heart of the cards hadn't worked, so he might as well trust a figment of his imagination.
"Ok, Mr. Bannana, this is for you."
If it could, the banana would have sweat dropped.
Tristan snapped a card out of his deck and played it in the magic slot the second he saw what it was:
A grinning pot appeared on the field, and burst, sending two holographic cards towards Tristan at the same time he drew them from his deck.
"Ok Duke, you're going down, first I activate the face down card I've been sitting on for ages, Black luster Ritual! I sacrifice Valkyron to summon Black Luster Soldier!!!!"
The rock monster fell into the pot that had appeared, moments before it metamorphisised into a heavily armoured warrior.
"Nice move, but you need to do more than just that to defeat me."
"Don't count your chickens just yet, I have just 1 more card, and it's all I need!"
"Really? Even if you magically destroyed my monster, you can't take out all my life points in one attack, I have Raigeki in my hand, once you have no monsters left any monster of mine can wipe you out. You and Yugi are finished Tristan, I'm sorry for the king of games, but without him in the tourney someone else can finally win."
"Don't count your chickens Duke, the mythical purple banana is on my side."
"What?"
Tristan realised what he'd just said as the banana slapped himself with a pizza slice.
{mmmmmm... food.)
"This is the rarest card I own, Serenity gave it to me after battle city and told me that it would help me build a strong deck, I activate Vampiric Sustenance!!"
"What? I've never heard of that one!"
Duke sweat dropped a second,
"Did you make it up? Cos the duel discs can detect fake cards."
"Of course I didn't make it up!!! Watch for yourself!!"
Tristan slotted his card into the magic slot beneath Yugi's monster and activated it.
Suddenly, without warning, the luster soldier grabbed the summoned skull and sank his teeth into its neck, the skeleton evaporated and the ritual monster grew stronger,
A4750
This card destroys your monster and transfers half its attack points to mine, now Black Luster Soldier, attack Duke!!!"
The knight swung its sword at Duke's neck, and as it connected, a hologram of the dicemaster's head fell onto the floor and rolled around his feet.
"Duke, I want no card from you, except a promise to let me and Serenity be happy."
"Dude, you haven't even asked her out yet."
"I'm getting around to it!! Just.!.!.!....."
"Tristan, she's yours, you beat me fair and square. I'm relieved actually, I'm releasing a new set of dungeon dice monsters, and I have to oversee the whole thing, so now I've got some spare time."
The dicemaster straightened up, and fell over into a deep sleep.
"Wow, someone can't handle there smoke."
Remarked a passing boy with long brown hair.
(wow, shiny review button)
