Imagine a place, parallel to a dimension.

The sort of place you might find a weird mirror or a spooky door.

My friend, you have just entered.....

The stoner's realm.....


(Intro scenes)

(Explosions!)

(Duels)

(A cook Juggling with two knives)

(The Winged Dragon Of Ra, and Slyther the sky dragon flying together towards a boat.)

(Kaiba pointing at Obelisk the Tormentor)

(Big Explosion)

YUGIOH,

ENTER THE STONER'S REALM


(Boat 1)

"Congratulationsch to everybody who made it thisch far, welcome to round 2, the duel dischk boothch are open again, but thich time, they are giving cardch to each of you, and taking your duel diskch, do not worry, round 2 will be conducted on the island in front of uch, ushing the shlightly old fashioned arenash. Nobody will get any field bonuchech though, now I am going to preshent the firsht conteshtants to get to round 2 with their new cardch, let me welcome Mokuba, and Sheto Kaiba."

The brother went up to the platform to speak with the announcer.

"Sheto, for your kinship with the blue eyech white dragon, you get the dragon armour magic card."

He handed over the card in a plastic wallet.

"It addch 1000 attack pointsh to the blue eyesh white dragon."

"Thank you, but I could just as easily use an axe of despair."

"Ah yesh,"

Said the middle aged announcer.

"For now, perhapsh, but after each duel, the card which you are given now, will have more and more powerch unlocked, until by the end of the tournament, it will have all itsh powerch, do not trade your new cardsh my friend, becaush only the pershon who hash won it, by getting thish far, will be able to unlock itsh hidden powersh. Oh, and shome of you will not have powersh unlocked on your card, but get other cardsh that nobody hashe ever sheen before."

Seto stood down and allowed the silver haired man give his brother his prize.

"Mokuba Kaiba, you have the monshter card baby blue eyesh, it ish only a level 3 monshter, right now, but it will grow far more powerful than you can imagchine, itch attack and defence power are both 1500, and it currently hach the effect that any blue eyesh white dragonsh on the field gain an exchtra 500 attack and defence points for it being there, and it gainsh 1000 attack and defence pointsh for any blue eyesh white dragonsh that are on the field."

The Kaiba brothers graciously accepted their cards, bowed to the applause, and made there way down the steps of the podium.


(Under boat 30)

A swarm of Kuribohs appeared around Miswim shielding her from the fireball.

"That all you got?"

"I end my turn Miswim."

Miswim snapped her hand down to her deck, it didn't matter what she drew now, she'd won anyway, might as well do it with style.

"Alright Tanto Shino, I activate my deck master's special effect. Seal Of Anubis!"

The jackal jumped over Miswim's head, towards the flaming dragon, every attempt to catch it was made in vain as the jackal dodged with supernatural speed, when the dragons head was turned Anubis Noir inscribed a sigil on its chest before the Gren Maju De Enza knocked it back.

With cat like skill Anubis Noir turned in mid air and landed on all four feet. It flicked a claw in the air and Tanto's deck master exploded.

"I win; I'm back in the tournament! Yes, yes yes, thank you!!"

Miswim danced around in her plastic cage, revelling in the suddenly sweet smell of cannabis as it wafted from her duel disc, as soon as the door opened, she hugged her opponent.

"Not quite yet, I'm afraid."

Miswim stood back, her eyes wide open.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that you've made it to round 2."

Miswim stared into Tanto's eyes;

"What do you mean?"

"Round 2 of this parallel tournament."

"So I still have to risk my life for this stupid game!?"

Miswim shouted in his face.

"You only have 2 more duels till you rejoin the tournament in round 3"

"Oh, two more, aren't I lucky, Jesus Christ, I'm risking my fucking life here!!"

"You get one card out of my deck."

Tanto Shino carried on doggedly, while his mouth gave Miswim the memorised speech, his eyes carried great regret

"Well doesn't that make me the happiest woman ever!?! Is there anying thing else?"

"Yes, I am also proud to give you your prize for making it to round 2, it is a very powerful monster and twin to that in your deck."

Miswim paused and looked into his eyes, Tanto was being sincere;

"What do you mean? What in my deck?"

"Anubis Rein, the lighter side of your monster."

Tanto pressed Miswim's hand against the hand print on the machine next to him, while his left hand went for the other reader.

"Miswim Yamitoshi?"

"Yes?"

With this the machine ejected a yellow monster card.

It had 9 stars, and the picture was an enormous silver haired jackal, its coat shimmered in the holofoil, the descriptive passage read, the lighter half of a pair of twins, separated at birth. It had an attack of 3000 and a defence of 3200, and at the top was the words Anubis Rein, in gold lettering.

"Its great, thank you."

Tanto looked around him, hurriedly, before blocking Miswim up against the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"Shuffle through my deck, look like you're picking out a card."

"What?"

"Do it!"

Miswim complied, puzzled, Tanto ran a hand through his hair.

"Okay, I'm not allowed to tell you this, they are filming this, but no microphones, they can't read my lips like this and I don't want them to get suspicious."

"Ok..."

"I need to talk fast, someone could be here any minute, either of your 2 monsters can use the Anubis seal, but their real power comes from fusing them. Good luck, and don't trust the tournament officials, there are a few in the organization that are with me, just trust no-one, duel your heart out, and I'll see you in round 4."

"Tanto? What are you doing?"

Tanto straightened up as another official came down the stairs.

"Nothing Jim, I'm just waiting for this bitch to pick one of my cards."

"Watch the language in front of the lady, Shino."

"Yes sir."

"You see anything you like there Miswim?"

"Ah, yes, Jim was it? I'd like this confused knight please."

"Ah yes, one of Tanto's finer cards, keep it, ok Tanto, you have to give her a speedboat ride to the next duel, can you do that?"

Tanto nodded in the affirmative while he sent a scowl of pure hate at Jim, though it could have been interpreted as going for Miswim.

"Good, Miswim, I'll see you at the next duel. Have fun!"

The two boarded a speed boat that was lowered down to the water.

"You played really well, and enjoy the confused knight."

"Thanks."

The cargo bay doors opened, and Tanto fired the engine, speeding them off towards the island, Miswim noticed a volcano in the background of the lovely picturesque island.


(Boat 1)

A speed boat sped off in the distance, Yugi turned back to the announcer who was finishing his speech:

"....Knockout, it isch every duellischts buschiness to fight 2 duelsch, your headschetsch will record your victoriesch and lossches, if you loshe both gamesch you will be kicked out, if you only win one you will be thruscht into a chide game, in which you will duel the resht of the people who only have 1 victory, and the top 5 will join the resht of you again in round 4. That'sh about it, any queschtionsh?"

No one had any; the English announcer had a knack for answering all the questions in his speech.

Tea giggled to Yugi, no longer enthralled by the speech.

"I wonder who he is, that guy reminds me of someone, with his slight lisp and British accent and his suave....."

"Okay Tea, I'm going to go speak to Bakura, ok?"

"That's exactly what Joey said."

"Fine, I'll go speak to Mokuba."

"Kaiba's with him."

"Is there anyone on this boat I know who's not with someone I'm not talking to?"

"There is Edd, or Sora."

Yugi remembered the last time he'd talked to the Australian.

"I'll go talk to Edd."

Yugi pushed himself through the crowd, he was in a good mood having been told by Tristan about the victory over Duke, he was sure to find the millennium puzzle in round 2.

"So Edd, what do you think these new cards will be like?"

"I've already got mine; I spoke to one of the stall guys before the speech, just as they were setting up."

Yugi eyed the throng of people round the booth. He decided not to take a chance.

"Can I see it?"

"Sure."

Edd reached into his pocket and pulled his deck out of a box; he pulled off the top card and gave it to Yugi.

"Bovizard, 3 stars, 300 attk 300 def; Flip: takes control of attacking monster, or if flipped in controllers turn, can take control of any monster on opponent's side of field by turning into an equip magic card. Wow, impressive."

"I know, I've already thought of a million uses."

The creature in the picture had a small, box-like shape, tapering out to a pointed tail; it had two prehensile feet, cute googly eyes in the front of the square head and fur draped over its body.

"Looks kinda cute don't it?"

"Don't underestimate cute, Kuriboh's saved me many a time."

"Me too, the cutest ones are the deadliest, you don't expect anything."

"'Cool'"

Edd almost fell over laughing. Yugi was one of those guys who you never expect to here the word cool from, he even inserted the quotation marks.

After Edd had calmed down Yugi helped him up.

"So, did you just finish a duel?"

"What? No, me and me mates had a couple of celebratory joints, now they've gone missing, and I can't find them anywhere, oh well, I've got you to talk to."

"'Rad'"

Edd fell over again; he couldn't believe any one would ever say Rad.

He calmed down and stood up;

"So what you been up to?"

"Oh, I qualified, that's about it really."

"Ah well."

Edd caught sight of Ollie standing talking to summon blonde haired boy.

"Look I gota go, me and me mates are getting stoned in our cabin, come join us when you get your new card."

"Ok... I...."

But Edd was gone.


(Edd's cabin, 3 hours later)

The room was a mess on the table lay two bright green weed grinders and a bag full of diesel haze. Tobacco covered every surface and Ollie lay on his bed smoking a bright orange bong, his long black hair catching fire every time he tried to relight it.

Rob rolled over on his bed to try and find his zippo when something jabbed him in the ribs.

"Hey what's this?"

From underneath him he dragged an upside down pyramid on a chain, covered in Egyptian writing.

"Bad luck, remember that double duel we played, Mathew Perriwinkle, the guy I won it off, and Miswim Yamitoshi, his partner, have both disappeared, they were who I defeated to get the puzzle."

"They could have been..."

"No one else who failed to qualify has left yet."

"Wow, trippy."

"Yeah."

Ollie looked at it for a couple of seconds.

"Looks like some sort of puzzle."

He put it down on the table.

"I say we hide it, break it up into its pieces then whoever's looking for it won't find us with it, and therefore we don't disappear."

"Mih, if you're that paranoid, chuck it in the sea. I say we don't though, cos that kid Yugi was wearing it the other day and he aint disappeared yet."

Edd picked up the object and slid it into his rucksack, before kicking it under his bed.

"I'll ask him in the morning."

At this moment a figure walked through the door

"Hi.... Who are you?"

Edd looked at the intruder, he was about 7 feet tall, wearing a big black cloak, and carrying a scythe.

YOU CAN CALL ME BOB.

"Oh...ok...."

DO YOU WANT TO GET STONED DUDES? I HAVE DOOBY SNACKS!!!

Said Bob unerolling a plastic bag with some pre-rolleds in.

He sat on the bed, his back against the wall, next to Ollie.

SO YOU GUYS SEEN A PUZZLE IT'S KINDA SHAPED LIKE A PYRAMID

Mentioned Bob as he passed around his pre-rolled joints.

INS ON A CHAIN...

"Nope, sorry, erm... I think I saw that white-haired kid with it though, what was his name? Bakura?"

OH, RIGHT, OK

Bob relaxed, Edd could see his rib cage through the cloak.


(Boat 1)

"Way to go Mokuba,"

"Thanks Big brother, I knew we'd get through."

"Yes, but it still puzzles me, why did those 2 attack us? Who were their bosses?"

"Well its confusing, yeah, but I don't think it'll be a big deal, if they come after us again, we'll just whoop their asses, are you with me big brother?"

Mokuba raised his hand for a high five, Seto joined in, then a thought struck him.

"Mokuba, you seem unusually..... I don't know, I can't quite put my finger on it. Did you have another duel recently?"

"Nope, but I went and got stoned with that hot chick over there."

Mokuba thumbed behind him.

"It was fun."


(Edd's cabin, an hour later)

I CAN'T MOVE, OH DEITY OF MY CHOICE THIS IS FUN.

Edd laughed, the diesel haze was having its usual effect, Bob couldn't move an inch of his body and was complaining that his mind was going to fast.

"I think Steven Hawking has arrived."

Edd looked at Ollie and Bob, Bob had taken his hood down and was sitting there grinning in his skull like face.

"I have an idea, Bob, can Ollie borrow your robe? We have some spare trousers and a t-shirt you can borrow, Ollie's about your height."

SURE, WHY NOT?

10 minutes later Bob came back into the room wearing jeans and a t-shirt, though he seemed to be having a few problems.

HAHAHA, I'M HAVING A FEW PROBLEMS WITH THESE, FOR ONE THING, I HAVE NO ARSE.

Indeed the jeans where very loose on him.

I AM MINUS 1 ARSE

Then Death walked into the room, his cold skeletal hands holding the scythe, under the hood a grinning skull could be made out.

"I have come to take your souls!!!"

Rob, Bob and Edd fell over laughing, Ollie looked more like Death, than Death himself ever had.

DEITY OF MY CHOICE, THAT IS SO FUNNY!!!

A large egg timer inside the robe started buzzing.

OH FUCK, I HAVE TO GO TO WORK.

Bob clicked his fingers and him and Ollie were wearing the right clothes again.

SEE YOU GUYS TOMMOROW.

He then ran through the door.

Edd sat down, and then pondered a question for a couple of seconds.

"When that dude came in.... and when he went out... did he open the door?"

(Elsewhere on boat 1)

"Joey have you got Yugi's puzzle back yet?"

"No, I have not, I can't find it anywhere, hey wait-a-minute, Behkurah, I know that's you, you're not getting it, I'd chuck you in the sea."

Ryou sighed;

"Don't worry Joey it's me, Ryou, Behkurah's in our room with the millennium ring, trying to contact Marik and Ishizu, somebody's after the millennium items again, and it isn't him, it's something else, something more sinister."

"Something more sinister than that creep?"

"Yes, Death."


I do not own yugioh, Cheech & Chong, Death, that American, or the British announcer

(You are stranded in l-space, a gleaming blue button shines in front of you, yes, it's your only escape, it is the review button)