Odango Atama

version 1.4

Chapter 4

What to call what was happening between Sailor Moon and Pantyhose Taro? On one hand, if you just used just your ears, you might almost think it was a battle of some kind.

Upon opening your eyes though, you'd realize it a actually a slaughter. Taro, in his bull mode, wasn't enjoying this turn around in his luck either.

"Take this! Sailor Moon kick!" as a foot went to the side of Taro's head.

"And how about this! Kachuu Tenshin Amaguri Ken!" she shouted as her fist blurred into Taro's gut.

"Moon Tiara... Nah, that'd probably kill him..."

After ten minutes of Sailor Moon beating the cow pies out of the bull man, the two decided to stop fighting. Well, Taro decided that almost from the get go. It was Ranma-chan that finally decided to show some compassion.

"So what'd you think of the beating I gave you Pantyhose?" This caused a confused look to show on Taro's face. In case you've never seen a confused looking cow, it really is a sight worth seeing. "Oh yeah, you don't know who I am yet... Tell you what, follow me and I'll get you some hot water."

Before Ranma-chan could go, Taro pulled out a kettle with hot water and poured it on himself.

"Thanks for the offer girl, but I always keep some handy. Tell me, why are you attacking me?"

"Huh? You're asking me that after you were destroying the buildings over there?"

"Oh, yeah.. that... See, there's this martial artist around here that always likes to play the champion. So when I want him to come out and battle, I just destroy a few buildings and he comes running."

"Well, I'm here. Is there something ya wanted?"

"Hmmm?"

"It's me. Ranma Saotome."

"Right... sure... Now I know the femboy loves to play dress up, but even he can't change that much."

"You don't believe me? Well, hand me that hot water and stand back."

"Ok..." Taro said as he passed the kettle and watched as Sailor Moon proceeded to pour it over herself. This caused his eyes to get bigger. Not because of any change in gender. As anyone that's seen a wet tee-shirt contest can tell you, if the cloth is already hugging the body tightly, adding water can give the viewers a free peep show.

"So now you know the truth... Hey, wait a minute... Why didn't I change?" She turned to find out what Taro's thoughts on that subject were, but by this point, Taro had passed out on the ground from a massive nose bleed. "Hey Usagi, any idea why my curse didn't activate?"

'No... Well, the curse is magic in nature right?'

"Yeah..."

'Well, perhaps the Senshi suit is blocking it.'

"What! Does that mean I'm going to be stuck as a girl forever?" Ranma-chan asked as her voice cracked.

'I don't know. If you calm down, the suit will be removed. Then you can try again...'

"Ok." Ranma-chan responded. Slowly she breathed in through the nose and out through the mouth. Within seconds of doing this, the suit dissolved away, leaving Ranma-chan in the blue and black Kendo outfit. "Now, to try this again."

She hefted the kettle up and let the remainder fall on her. This time the transformation happened.

"All right! I'm a guy again! Thanks for the info Usagi... Usagi? You in there?" He waited and still no response came. He thought about tapping his skull like a he would on a broken radio, but decided against any course of action that would increase the odds that he'd look insane. "Did she finally pass on?"

As he stood in the street, he clapped his hands together and said a silent prayer for Usagi.

- - - - -

It was early morning before Ranma arrived back at Usagi's house. Since reality still hadn't given in to his demands that everything was false, he figure it was the best place to start looking for answers.

"I guess I gotta live as this girl for now... Damn it, why are these kinds of things always happening to me?" he asked as he walked up to the fire hose. Turning it on, he let the water change him. "Hopefully her mother knows how to cook cause I'm starvin!"

'Me too!' a bubbly voice chimed in Ranma-chan's head.

"What!" she said with a shout.

'What?'

"You're back!"

'What do you mean? I never went anywhere... Hey, this is my house. How'd we get here?'

"Huh? I walked here."

'Really? The last thing I remember is being in the street, fighting that bull monster you called Pantyhose Taro. Then you poured the hot water on us and suddenly we're here.'

"You don't remember the walk here? Or any of being a guy?"

'Eww. No and thank goodness I don't. I was born a girl and I don't wanna ever know life any other way.'

"How do you think I feel? I never asked to change into a girl and I especially didn't ask to become one that turns into a warrior of peace and love..."

'Does that mean you prefer hate and violence?'

"No... Well, I got nothing against either, but my life has been centered around violence in one form or another. It's been so much a part of my life, I can't imagine not having it."

'Well, if you're going to be me, you'll have some peace and love in a few forms.'

"What do you mean?"

'Hey, is that bacon I smell?'

"Are you changing the sub... Hey, I think you're right"

Inside, Ranma-chan was greeted by two very angry parents.

"Usagi, where have you been? First you ran out of the house, then you didn't show up at school. I'm really worried about you," her mother scolded her. "It was bad enough was you were always late. Please don't tell me you're going to start skipping school all together."

"No... mom," Ranma-chan choked out. "I'm going. I just wasn't myself yesterday." 'Or today.'

"Ok... It's too early to discuss this now, but we're going to have a serious talk about when you get home young lady." Ranma-chan repressed a gag at being called a lady and simply shook her head. "Now, hurry and eat your breakfast and get off to school."

"Yes mother..." Ranma-chan sat at the table and seconds later walked off, leaving the table a barren and foodless wasteland.

As Ranma-chan walked to school, she started trying to think of a way to tell the other.

'Hey Usagi?' Ranma-chan asked.

'Yeah...'

'Any ideas on how to tell your friends about this?'

'About being part boy? Fraid not.'

'Knowing my luck, they'll find out the worst way possible.'

'Well, then we're going to have to take the initiative.'

'Huh?'

'Tonight, we're going to have Rei do a fire reading. After she does that, if it doesn't tell her something, we will.'

'Are you sure that's a good idea?'

'Of course it is. Besides, I'm sure you can fend off a bunch of girls if it comes to that.'

'Yeah, I know I can, but... if I'm going to be you, it'd be helpful if they were on my side.'

'Yeah, you got a point there... I'll keep thinking about that while you focus on school stuff.'

'I sure you'd like that...,' Ranma-chan thought with a grumble.

'Is it that obvious? Besides, the way I'm feeling, I'm sure it's not going be long before you're the only voice in here. I just hope we make amends with everyone else first...'

'Stop talking like that. I've never failed in saving a person's life and I ain't about to start now.'

'That's sweet of you... really it is...'

- - - - -

The school day went by quickly and Ranma-chan was surprised at how easy it was to do the work. At least she was amazed till she remember she was supposed to be a high school student.

'At least I'm as smart as a fourteen year old,' she mused.

Of course, the teachers were still going to need some help recovering via a bottle of Jack and his Russian friend.

"Hey Ami!" Ranma-chan called out as she ran towards the blue haired girl.

"Hello Usagi." Ami responded with her usual amount of energy before returning to her current game of chess. She was on the last move and it was obvious she was going to win once her rook was in place. "Check mate."

"Dern, ya beat me again," the old man responded. "What's that? Fifteen wins in a row today? Well, thanks for playin with this old man."

"It's my pleasure Oba-san."

"See ya around," he said with a wave as he left the two girls.

"Fifteen wins straight?" Ranma-chan asked.

"Well, he is kind of exaggerating..."

"So you didn't win fifteen games?"

"No, I did... But they were really close games..."

"In a battle Ami, close isn't what one strives for. At the end of the battle, you're either the winner or the loser... Hey, mind if I play you a game?"

"... Are you sure Usagi? I mean you don't usually enjoy this very much."

"I'm feelin lucky. So, will you play a game of chess with me," Ranma-chan asked sweetly. "For fun?"

"Sure..."

Another fifteen games later, Ami was starting to question her sanity. Well, maybe not her sanity, but she was certain, something was off. Through all fifteen of their games, Usagi had either managed to force her in to a stalemate or gotten her into checkmate. This was not the Usagi she was used to. Nothing had distracted her though the games. Not even the good looking gentlemen handing out coupons for free sweets at the newest shop in town.

"You ok Ami?"

"I don't know. I don't suppose you've always been this good and were just hiding it..."

"Hmmm?" Ranma-chan wondered out loud. 'Usagi? What's Ami talking about?'

'I stink at chess!' Usagi practically shouted at her despite the lack of lungs.'

'Really?'

'Yes! By the way, how'd you do it?'

'Do what?'

'Beat Ami in chess!'

'Simple it's a game of battle and strategy. Pops used it to help me spot strategies of my opponent's and to think several moves in advance. It was one of his less painful lessons.'

'Wow...'

"So what's going on here?" Ami asked.

"What'd you mean Ami?"

"I mean, who are you? Ever since that fight, you've changed. You're almost like a whole different person."

'She knows something is wrong,' Usagi calmly stated.

'Yes, but can I trust her?' Ranma asked.

'Probably more then most of the Senshi. She's the one person whose likely to stop and think about it.'

"Agreed," Ranma suddenly announced. "Ami, there's something I need to tell you. It's going to be hard to except, but I have to tell you. Do you think you're ready?"

Ami was thrown off balance. 'Am I ready? This sounds serious...'

Chapter 5 Omake

"Ami, I need to tell you something. I'm not the rabbit. I'm really the Wild Horse."

"Really? Prove it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure," she said as her face blushed a bit how she could prove such a claim. After a second, Ranma-chan took the hot water and poured it on herself, changing into his male body.

"See, I am."

"Well, I'm waiting."

"Waiting?"

"For you to prove you're really a wild horse," she said as she came closer to him.

"Ami-chan?"

"We're all someone else. You showed me yours. Now I'll show you mine," she whispered.

The people in the neighboring apartments were treated to some interesting sounds that came through the overly thin walls.

The next day, Ranma woke to a strange sensation. A very warm sensation. Someone was laying on top of him and whoever it was seemed to notice that he was awake.

"Mmmmm, good morning Horsie-sama," Ami greeted him.

- - - - -

"Hey Usagi. Hi Ami... Ami? Are you ok? You look... different." Minako commented.

"Oh, yeah, I just had the best s..." Ami's voice was suddenly cut of by Ranma-chan's hand. That's when the others noticed Usagi's face was glowing too.

"Huh? Usagi, you too?"

"What?"

"You both have a glow about you. You two didn't!"

"They did! Ami, you're a lesbian?" Rei asked. "And you Usagi, what about Mamoru?"

"Mamo who?" Ranma responded.

'Mamo-chan, my boyfriend,' Usagi answered. This caused Ranma to blanch. 'Oh, that's right. You're a guy.'

"Darn tootin I'm a guy!"

"What was that Usagi?" Rei asked at his odd outburst.

"I said I'm a guy!..."

"A... a... guy?" This caused Ranma to realize he'd just yelled out loud instead of thinking.

"I can explain, really I can." Just then, hot water spilled over him. He turned and spotted Ami with a kettle.

"I can't wait! Take me now!"

"Hey, I want some too!" Matoko cried.

"Yeah, me too!" Minako added.

"Why me?" Ranma lamented.

"Stop this!" a strong voice called out. "I've seen all I can stand. I must protest to the deflowering of such pure maidens by the evil sorcerer Saotome!"

"Jealous Kuno-baby?" Nabiki asked.

"Yes!... I mean. No, I just feel it is not appropriate." Kuno lied.

"Please Kuno. We both know that you're dying to stick that bokken into their..."

"Silence woman!"

"What's this? It was good enough for you when it was mine."

"For what I paid, I would have been very upset if it had been otherwise..."

"Thank you Kuno-baby," she stated as she pulled out a tape recorder. "That will be 100,000 yen or the truth is downloadable on Kazaa."

"Damn you woman... Wait a minute."

"Yes?"

"I just noticed that throughout this entire damnable fic, neither of us have had a single appearance."

"Like I care. At this rate, sleeping with you Kuno won't be the worst of it..."

"I can't stand it any more. I'm going to go and take care of that cretin Saotome!"

"Wait at least a half an hour Kuno. You won't make it through the door at this point."

"What! As if Saotome could possible hope to defeat me."

"You mean again."

"As if. We both know the only way he can win is through evil means."

"I think it's time for your medicine."

"What?"

"Well, if not yours, I'd like some!" Nabiki calmly stated before jumping Kuno. "Remember, the going rate is still the same.."

- - - - -

The giant rock monster began to attack Tokyo. Wait a minute, that's not a rock monster. It's Godzilla. Oh well. Perhaps they'll kill it this time...

"Damn it! Why does it have to attack now!" Ami shouted in mid stride. "Let's ignore it!"

"You're just saying that cause your on top right now," Makoto commented.

"So! I'm always the shy one. I want to be the one to ride the guy!"

"Well, it will have to wait. Now let's change!"

After a quick change, everyone was ready... Ok, everyone except Ami and Ranma who were finishing up. A minute later, Ami's screaming indicated she was very close to being done. Five minutes later, her silence meant she was finally done. Now all they had to do was wait for her to recover.

Now, almost fifteen minutes later, Ami changed, followed by Ranma. Ranma made a small mistake though. He forgot to change genders first.

"GetitoffGetitoffGetitoffGetitoff!"

"Hmm... Ranma's a crossdresser!" Minako stated.

"Sempai!" Makoto lamented. With a loud rip, the fabric was finally removed.

"Ranma-sama! We have to go and kill Godzilla. We can't do that again now... ok, screw that scaly monster," Ami decided.

"What? That's not what I was doing!" His pleas were in vain as he was jumped again by five girls. "No!"

(Ok, don't take this part too seriously. It was the end result of a conversation I had with a fellow author, Sidekickwannabe.)