Chapter Two:
I materialized in Susannah's room later, when I was sure she was asleep. I sat
on the window seat, which was where I had been sitting ever since it had been
put there. Before that, I had just paced around the room. I occasionally visited
other parts of Carmel, but really, what was the point? I visited the Mission
once or twice, but only after their school had finished. I liked looking at it
when it was deserted and peaceful. If anyone was near, I would simply
dematerialize.
I saw no point staying around the living. They didn't know I existed. But for
some reason I could never move on. I thought it was because I had been murdered,
but after he died, and I didn't move on, I began to wonder. But back to the
mission. It had been standing when I was alive, and reminded me of when I had
came there when I was alive. Susannah's mother and step-father had mentioned
the place once or twice. I wondered if Susannah would be attending the school
there. Susannah. What a beautiful name. It reminded me of a song I had heard, back when
I was alive. Back when I was alive. Back when people talked to me, back when my
family was still alive. Oh, it had been agony watching them grow old and die,
when I was staying unnaturally young. It was worse that I could not comfort them
in their grief after I died. My youngest sister especially found it hard. She
never was really the same person. And all because of me, my death and ...No. I
would not even think of, of him. Or of her, my own cousin no less. I had learned
to get over my death. I couldn't change it, no matter what I thought. Painful
memories. That's all they will ever be, I reminded myself. Memories.
I half unconsciously started singing the song.
"Oh Susannah don't you cry for me," I looked at her sleeping figure. She looked
much more peaceful now then she had earlier. She had wanted me out, so I had
gone. But I had returned. It wasn't my place to do so, but it had been 150 years
since I have had a conversation. 150 years. That was a long time of sitting
around, staring out at the ocean. A long time to remember.
"I came from Alabama with this banjo on my knee," I knew the song would annoy
her, if she could hear it. So I sang softly. Yet she must have heard me, because
she stirred ever so slightly in her sleep. I hastily dematerialized. It would
not do for her to wake up with me there. She certainly had a quick temper.
I didn't return for a while, knowing that really, I shouldn't return at all. But
there were so many reasons for me to do so. She could hear me, see me for
starters. And from what I had overheard her mother saying, she was constantly
getting into trouble. Maybe...Maybe I should keep an eye on her. So I decided
to return.
