Chapter Three
"Hold On To Me"
It was only a little before dawn when his eyes finally fluttered open again. He twitched slightly and drank in his surroundings. Dark, cold, empty. He sighed inwardly, realizing that he was back where he had started. Back in her basement. Back in the house that had never been open to him. Back to the woman who he'd never understand. He didn't remember much of what had happened. He could only remember small pieces. Glimpses and flashes. But he did remember the chip. He remembered the cold piece of metal being slipped into his palm.
"Time for you to be a man, Spike." she had said. He was weak. He was small and he had little energy to protest. Even still. He couldn't believe what was happening.
"How do you know I wont be a monster?"
"I told you I trust you. Now you have to trust me."
He was jolted back to reality as a sliver of light danced down the stairs to his right.
I'm fine. Go back upstairs, Buffy. He thought to himself, wishing he could just say the words and be done with it. His head ached and all he wanted was to drift back into a deep sleep. It was lovely not feeling anything. But he heard her coming. He felt the sharp sounds of boots on wood resound in his hearing and before he could decide what to do, she was by his side. He turned his head, the dull ache picking up to a pitiful roar. She looked grave. Tired. No...she looked exhausted.
"Hey." Buffy said, forcing a smile onto her lips. She knelt down so that she was level with him. For some reason it was comforting for him to be eye to eye with her.
"Hey." he replied, no emotion behind the words. It was just a greeting. He wanted so much for it to be a sending as well.
"How ya doing?" she asked off-handedly, putting her hands over her knees. Spike closed his eyes again and slowly took stock. Nothing really hurt but his head. He was just so tired.
"Fine." Spike lied, eyes still closed.
"Are you hungry?"
"No."
"Alright." Buffy said softly, standing and turning to face the stairs. As he heard her boots hit wood, a small voice inside cried out to have her come back...
"Buffy..." Spike called after her. He realized after he said it that it sounded desperate. He hated sounding desperate. She turned back and looked down over the banister, a questioning look on her face.
"Thank you." he whispered. And through the darkness, he could see the small sliver of light illuminating her face. She was smiling. It was a tired and weak smile, but it was sincere. And even though she couldn't see him, he smiled too.
"Get some sleep, Spike. The girls will be back tonight."
And that's exactly what he did. He slept. And he dreamed of her...
