Chapter Two

Strange Pursuit

In the Hallway Just to the Left of the Great Hall, No Further Left Than That, Harry made a feeble attempt to hide in the shadow of a large and nasty statue. It was Fosgood the Flatulent, creator of Large Smelly Clouds. Using a Large Smelly Cloud Fosgood had either saved Hogwarts or won the Quidditch Cup; it was hard to say due to the foul protective fog clinging to Fosgood's statue like some otherworldly force-field. No-one could get near the thing to read the inscription much less remove the statue and chuck it down some deep well. Most Large Smelly Clouds were impervious to even the most powerful Gladeius Airwikkius spell and this one was one of the worst. This one even had a taste for God's sake. Harry didn't stay in the vicinityhe couldn't hold his breath that long so he moved on, eyes watering.

Harry crouched in the shadow of a doorway. He listened. The low, sinister honk moved further away, then silence. Harry took this to be a good sign and rocketed his way back to the Gryffindor common room, avoiding a squeaking inflatable bunny and a zombie Nazi on the way.

In the Gryffindor common room Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were sitting in their favorite spots in front of the fire. Hermione's table was piled with at least one-third of the Hogwarts libraryshe was either writing an essay or building a small fort. Ron was sprawled in a comfy chair reading a comic book instead of doing his charms homework. There was a large, fat toad turning on a spit in the fireplace and every so often Ron would brush a sticky glaze over it.

'Honestly, Ron, I still can not believe you did that,' tutted Hermione as she added another footnote to Volume 17, page 12 of her already voluminous essay 'Muggle Pencils Are Pointless—Discuss.' She put down her quill and wrinkled her brow at him. 'You know he's going to find out eventually.'

'It was an accident, I keep telling you. If he hadn't been squatting on the stairs I wouldn't have stepped on him. You know how he's always escapingit had to happen eventually,' said Ron defensively. 'Besides that I've already replaced him. Neville'll never know the difference.' He poked the toad with his finger then pointed at Hermione. 'Don't you dare tell him!' He licked the glaze off his finger, smiled and went back to his comic.

'You've only replaced Trevor with a Chocolate Frog. Neville will figure it out when it melts. He's not that thick,' she said, shaking her head. She grimaced as she smeared the ink on her immaculate essay.

Just then Harry staggered into the room, breathless. 'You wooon't be-believe what I just saw in the, the, the...' He took a deep breath and clutched at the stitch in his side. '...the Hallway Just to the Left of the Great Hall, No Fu-Further Left Than That!' He looked at them expectantly, hoping they wouldn't ask him to repeat it.

'You-Know-Who!' squeaked Hermione, turning pale. Ron looked horrified. Harry shook his head, still out of breath, more from having to say 'the Hallway Just to the Left of the Great Hall, No Further Left Than That' than from shock of seeing someone having their head pulled off.

'Was it Daleks? I bet it's Daleks!' Ron's face lit up and he grinned like someone insane. He shot out one fist in a bizarre salute. 'Exterminate! Exterminate!' He collapsed into a fit of giggles.

'We've done Daleks already, Ron. You still don't remember do you?' Harry closed his eyes and sighed. He'd already been through this once today already. He said patiently, slowly counting on his fingers, 'We've defeated the Daleks twice, once on Earth and once on Mars. It wasn't Daleks.'

Ron had had his memory accidentally altered during the second Dalek invasion and now sometimes thought they were part of some low-budget Muggle television program. Some days it took several complicated spells and a rather nasty potion to get him back to normal. One particularly bad day they gave up and just hit him with sticks for about ten minutes. This didn't seem to help but it made Harry and Hermione feel better.

"Are you sure Harry?' said Hermione, looking concerned. She glanced at Ron who was still giggling in his chair.

Harry shook his head. 'Yes, this creature made a low, sinister honking sound before it ripped a student's head off. Daleks don't honk and they certainly don't pull off people's heads.' He noticed the toad crackling in the fireplace. 'Say, is that Glazed Toad?'

Hermione flipped furiously through the massive, dusty books she had spread out on the table. 'Low, sinister honking noise, low sinister honking noise, honking, honking...' she muttered to herself as she searched. 'I know I've seen it...a-Ha!' She triumphantly stabbed the book with her finger, sending up a cloud of ancient dust. 'Here, on page 873 of Sinister Honks and the Creatures Who Make Them!'

Just then Neville Longbottom wandered up to her table, coughing in the dust cloud.

'Has anyone seen my toad?' he sniffed imploringly. 'He was sleeping in my pocket all afternoon but now he's gone.' He wiped his hand surreptitiously on his robes.

'Toad go poo in your pocket again?' said Ron sympathetically, trying to keep a straight face.

'S'not poo, it's chocolate,' said Neville tearfully looking at his hand, not entirely convinced. He turned and morosely plodded back up the stairs to his dormitory, calling 'Trevor! Here boy!' Hermione gave Ron a disapproving glare, tutting again and shaking her head.

'You were saying?' Harry began, but before Hermione could open her mouth there came a low, sinister honking noise from outside the portrait hole. Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked at each other and turned ghost-white.

There would be no Glazed Toad tonight.