Hey there!!
I'm back!! This time I put in an extra effort with Chapter 5, because I don't think I'll be able to update until next Sunday. I have quite a few projects due, (cough, MODERN WORLD, cough) and I have a level 6 piano exam coming up soon. So actually, I don't think I will be able to update till December.
But don't worry, that doesn't mean I won't work on this. I have saved both stories, SWEET MISERY and HOMECOMING, into my email account, so that I will be able to work on them, at school or at home, anywhere that has a computer.
Aren't we all proud of Jessie? She's organizing her time!!
Lol. Yeps. Thanks, again, for reviewing...and OH, BEFORE I FORGET: THiS CHAPTER INCLUDES LYRICS FROM THE SONG, Out of Reach, by Gabrielle, its a break-up song, so I thought it fit for this chappie. I would like to take this time to say, that though I am using the lyrics, IN NO WAY AM I EXERCiSiNG OWNERSHiP OF THiS SONG, or the characters of the Mediator, for that matter. I simply like writing. LEAVE ME ALONE.
OH. RIGHT, and ALSO, I have used quotes from the actual Mediator series, (To be specific, REUNiON and DARKEST HOUR), but I do not claim ownership of THOSE either. I just thought them fit for the whole, 'musing' thing. So, once again, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME.
I have placed quotations around them, in accordance to copyright laws.
That was my disclaimer, right there. I have witnesses. You got nothing on me.
okay...now, on with the show...
Chapter five Out of Reach
Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
I got up the next morning feeling drowsy and tired, like I was having a hang-over, which was weird, since all I had to drink was apple cider. I am, after all, still underage.
I rolled out of bed, throwing the covers aside, and stumbling around the room, I threw on a denim skirt and a pink tee that said 'TOMMY GIRL.' I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and inspected myself in the mirror, wondering how it was that my eyes were so puffy.
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
That was when I remembered. Jesse. Clarrisse.
Jesse and Clarrisse.
And my heart felt the ever familiar twang as I recalled last night's events. Me and Jesse were over. For good.
Shaking my head softly, as if by shaking, I could toss the thoughts out of my mind, I began doing my usual morning routine, and went downstairs for breakfast. I grabbed a bagel and a glass of orange juice and headed off to school with Dopey and Doc.
Like normal. Not once thinking of Jesse.
Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK
I had decided, amidst all the crying and sobbing, that I was going to be strong about this. I wasn't gonna go moping around like some wounded animal, just because he didn't love me. I was gonna live my life as normal, because, really, this kind of thing had been a long time coming. I had received multiple warnings from Father Dominic and my father, heck—even Paul told me how stupid I was being.
And they had been right. Jesse and I weren't meant to be. Dead people don't have relationships with someone alive, mediator or not. Jesse had gone and proved it, it was just my fault I hadn't seen it before.
But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
But all that aside, I never ever thought that he would cheat on me.
I walked outside with my book bag, my right hand over my eyes. The marine fog was blinding, and a breeze blew under my denim skirt. I shivered, and wrapped my arms around myself as a protection. For my body, but also for my heart. I wasn't going to go through pain like that, not again.
The weather would soon be changing, the sun would come out, and the fog would clear to reveal bright blue skies. And I would change too. This wasn't over. Not the end, I refused to let it be. I was going to be happy. I was gonna be alright.
I sat in the car, listening to Dopey drone on about how unfair my parents were being about his grounding, you know—because of his hot-tub fiasco—and Doc, talking about the government conspiracy in Area 51, all the while staring dazedly outside the window.
Finally, we reached the adobe-red brick building known as the Mission Academy. I got out of the car wordlessly, closing the door behind me. It was Doc who first noticed my mood. "Suze," he said, staring up at me behind the lens of his glasses, "are you alright?"
"Huh? Yeah, course I am."
He looked unconvinced. "Are you sure? 'Cause you can tell me, you know."
I smiled at him. Doc was so sweet sometimes. "Yeah, I'm ok, just a little tired, stayed up late writing my essay on the Civil War."
"Oh," he said, and then lowering his voice, "because I thought it might have something to do with Jesse. No offense, Suze. But you might wanna keep it down sometimes. Our walls aren't soundproof, you know? And if Dad ever heard all those things you were sayin…"
He trailed off; looking at the deadly glare I gave him before stomping off into the courtyard. That kid is way too smart for his own good.
-----
I walked towards Father D's office as quiet as possible, since some of the nuns stayed asleep until second period. As I entered, I saw a boy seated in the chair across from the father. He and Father Dom looked up as I walked in.
"Oh," said Father D, "Susannah, how nice of you to join us, this is Jeremy Curtis," he said, gesturing to the boy in front of him, "Jeremy, this is the girl I was talking about, Susannah Simon, she will be accompanying you to your classes today."
"Hi," said Jeremy, and he smiled.
My jaw dropped, and I didn't even bother to close it. Jeremy was HOT. Almost, well maybe not as hot as Jesse—not that I'm thinking about him, of course—but gorgeous nonetheless, his tousled blond hair fell just before his eyes, which were a gorgeous brown, similar to that of dark chocolate. Breathe, Suze.
In and out.
I stood for a moment dazed, until I snapped out of the stupor he put me in, and choked out a, "Hi." Because I'm just so gifted with words.
He smiled again, looking me up and down.
In and out.
In and out.
Father Dom intervened on my behalf, with a bemused look on his face. "Anyway, Susannah," he said, gesturing for me to sit down, "you can accompany him to class as soon as I have a few words with you. Jeremy, would you please excuse us for a moment?"
"Susannah," he said, shuffling papers distractedly as Jeremy closed the door behind him, "did something happen between you and Jesse? He came to me yesterday, looking very troubled."
I rolled my eyes. Right. Of course he did. "Well," I said, my voice somewhat indignant, "he cheated on me."
Father Dominic stopped shuffling abruptly. "What?" he said, as if he didn't hear me correctly.
"He. Cheated. On. Me." I said. Enunciating clearly on every word. Seeing the confused look on his face I added, "You know, cheated. Two-timed. Played me like a harpsichord! (Sorry Lolly…it was just too cute.)"
The confusion on his face increased. Jeez, didn't know he was that old fashioned. "He saw another girl the same time he was seeing me!"
Father Dom chuckled. What's so funny about me being two-timed, I'll never know. "Susannah…" he said, looking way more amused than the situation warranted, "just because Jesse looked at another girl does not mean he committed a crime. He is still very loyal, if I recall, to you."
I sighed. He so did not get it. I began telling him—very slowly, mind you,—everything that I saw when I got home that night.
To say Father D looked shocked would've been an understatement. He looked at me for a moment as if I had just accused him of blasphemy. "Susannah," he said, quickly recovering, "I believe you must be mistaken. 'Cheating' as you put it… is not something Jesse would do, I believe he is much too honorable to treat you in such a way."
"Well I saw what I saw," I said, rather huffily. It was just like the father to stick up for Jesse that way. Men.
"Perhaps you should talk with him," he said, eyes full of concern. As if he wanted us to be together. Tough luck, dude.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I said, getting out of my chair, "well I really must be going to class now. Bye Father D." I grabbed my stuff and I left without another word.
Jeremy was waiting for me outside, his hands in his pockets. "So, shall we?" he said, offering me his arm like in the Titanic. I took it, laughing, "Yeah, come on."
-----
The bubbling fountain was calm and somewhat serene, cooling my nerves and my senses. The hibiscus plants that grew at the side of the palm trees were in full bloom, with several humming birds fluttering around the buds. Smiling, I looked down into the water and saw… nothing.
At first I was surprised, until I remembered. I hadn't seen my reflection in a hundred and fifty years. I sighed, and turned away. The fountain had lost it's beauty, the hummingbirds existing now only to annoy me.
I had almost forgotten; it was so easy to forget when thinking of her.
I knew I had to explain to Susannah. I hadn't been given a chance to explain. I had to go apologize. She was so furious last night; I never got a word in. Perhaps she had calmed down a bit. I should go see her.
But what, I thought, should I say? Susannah was so difficult sometimes. I'll tell I was sorry. Tell her that I love her.
I couldn't let her stay hurt. I couldn't let her think of me that way. There was a strange dullness in Susannah's eyes whenever she was angry with me, it took away everything about her I loved so much.
I was just about to dematerialize back into the rectory when I heard it.
Susannah, laughing with her classmate as they walked to class. My heart lifted, and I was just about to go to her… when I saw that her friend was a…young man. He had golden blond hair and hazel eyes. They were talking animatedly and walking arm in arm.
Feelings of shock flooded through me, as if I were being punched in the stomach.
Who was this boy??
-----
Jeremy, not only being totally hot was totally sweet as well.
Really, I mean, he wasn't snobby or egotistic, and he never made me feel uncomfortable or stupid, which is really a lot different than most of the guys I've met.
Don't believe me? Let's go down the list.
There was:
1. Bryce---and his psychotic ghost stalker for a girlfriend,
2. Tad---with some serious family issues, on top of being a total dumb jock,
3. Michael---who was a crazy revenge-seeking murderer,
4. Paul---who was a horny spawn of Satan, and
5. Jesse---well Jesse---who'd cheated on me.
So you can see why he's a huge asset to Suze and Co.
Anyways, Jeremy went with me to every single one of my classes, thanks to Father D, and we really hit it off. I learned a lot of cool things from him through our conversation. Like that his family originally owned a huge fashion merchandising company back in New York, but they'd moved away and sold it all when his father developed a fascination with life on the west coast. He told me all about his two sisters, twins, Anna and Madeline, who were freshman at Sacred Heart. That he wanted to be an architect.
And I told him about Gina, back in New York. He said he knew her; she'd gone out with his best friend once. I had laughed at this. That was just so Gina.
All in all, he was really a nice person. I mean, Debbie and her maids-in-waiting were all over him—fortunately, Kelly wasn't there—, not to mention Brad and his Jock table, and he still insisted on sitting with me, CeeCee and Adam for lunch.
-----
"So," said CeeCee, as she and I split a cannoli and Diet Coke, "what's the deal with you and Jeremy?" she looked over across the courtyard to where Adam and Jeremy were trying to feed a bunch of seagulls, only to be yelled at by one of the nuns. "And what about you and Jesse?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked, trying to hide my blush, "there's nothing going on with me and Jeremy, and there's definitely nothing between me and Jesse."
She looked at me rather curiously, "What are you talking about? I thought you and him were finally 'together.' "
"Well," I said, tersely, "let's just say he doesn't appreciate what he has sometimes."
"Who doesn't appreciate what he has?" I spun around to see Paul smiling at me, looking totally hot as usual in an Abercrombie and Filch sweatshirt. God, is he like, the new spokes model for them? Cause, you know, he should be.
Why is it all the hot guys in my life are jerks? Well, maybe not all of them, not Jeremy, at least.
"Get lost Paul," I said, narrowing my eyes, and holding up my fist.
"Okay, okay," he held up his hands to shield his face. "Just wanted to remind you about our little date tonight."
I saw CeeCee look at me, white eyebrows raised.
I sighed. "I'd prefer it if you'd not refer to shifting lessons as a date, Paul." I didn't even flinch at the look she gave me. Better for CeeCee to be confused than to have delusions about something that never was.
"Yeah, yeah." He said, "Just make sure you show up, or I won't be held responsible for what happens to Rico Suave. Eight O' clock, sharp." He winked suggestively.
I resisted my temptation to smack him and said, through gritted teeth, "I'll be there."
-----
I am ashamed to say that I did to Susannah what she would have referred to as 'stalking' for the rest of her school day. I know it was immoral of me, a violation of her privacy. But I couldn't help it. Not while she was with him.
And I'll admit it. I am jealous of that boy. The one with the golden blonde hair. The one with his arms around my querida, the one who's alive.
It was just—the way she looked at him, the way her eyes brightened when she was near him. That was something that never happened when she was around me. (A/n: Tsk. Tsk. Does Jesse not know ANYTHING?) So is it really so outlandish to feel, at the least, threatened?
I cannot say that I know her feelings toward this young man, exactly. But I see the way he looks at her, when she is not paying attention. And that, in itself, tears up my heart.
So much hurt,So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you
But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
-----
" Jesse did something then that he'd never done before. I doubt he'll ever do it again, either.
And it happened so fast, I wasn't even sure afterward if it had really happened, or if, in my drugged-out stated, I imagined it.
But I'm pretty sure he reached out and touched my cheek. "
-----
" Jesse looked up at the hole, and then back at me, and then back up at the hole.
And then back at me.
"No, thank you, querida," he said, casually. "I think I want to stay and see how it all ends." "
-----
" "Especially," I said significantly, looking up at him, "from talking. That's what I especially need a day off from. Talking."
"Fine," he said. He reached up and cupped my face in both his hands. "We don't have to talk."
And that's when he kissed me.
On the lips. "
-----
"Hey, you okay?" I looked up; Jeremy was looking at me intently across the lab materials.
"Huh? Yeah. I'm great, just a little sleepy." I really am losing it aren't I?
Oh," he said, "because you're crinkling the directions for our report."
I looked down at the paper that was wrinkled and ripped in my hands. "Oh shit!" I said, blushing furiously.
He smiled, "That's okay, I'll go ask Mr. Womack for another one." (a/n: Mr. Womack is named after my 7th grade science teacher, who's like the teacher coolest in the world.)
"Yeah," I said, still blushing. "Thanks."
He got out of his seat and came back with a couple pieces of paper. "I got more, just in case." I giggled, no seriously! I giggled.
Oh god, Suze. Blonde moment, girls. Right there.
He just smiled, you know, in an I-don't-know-what's-wrong-with-you-and-I-don't-wanna-bother-to-ask way. Attractive, really. "So," he said, "wanna work on this after school, partner?"
I was still blushing. "Uh… yeah, good idea… my place? We can get a ride with Dop—I mean, Brad."
"Yeah, sure, your place it is."
Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be
Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me…
So. What did we think? I think I like this song, a lot a lot.
And I think that I will miss not being able to go online for the next few weeks.
And I think you should review.
Lol. Love you!!
jESSiE
P.S. Is anyone going Trick-or-Treating? Is there a limit on how old you need to be? I don't think I'm gonna go though....(sniff, sniff) I don't have a costume!!
