HAPPY TWILIGHT.


Chapter nine: Paralysis

(Jeremy)

If I had thought, I soon learned, that the female population at the Mission was just weird, I would again, be sadly mistaken. Apparently they were also a little on the dull side.

I had witnessed full proof of this when I followed Suze down the tiny path to the cemetery, just in time to see the weirdest thing in my life. There was no real explanation for it.

I mean, no real scientific one. But fortunately for me, science was something I no longer had much faith in. Forensics Science, especially.

But that didn't mean that the whole thing was okay. Inexplicable, maybe, but not okay.

What do you do when you find your would-be girlfriend talking to thin air? What do you say?

What if she mentioned your ex-girlfriend? The one from New York, whose supposed to be dead?

Come up with anything? Stumped?

I thought so.

Well, whatever. Because crazy or not, it was clear to me that Suze was already in love with someone else. Some loser named 'Jesse.' Though, really? I'm not so sure I'm okay with that, either.

But we'll deal with that later.

The point is, while I was standing there in shock, still contemplating this--and the feelings that went along with it--I heard a voice behind me.

And turned around to see this jock with curly brown hair and blue eyes. He was of one Debbie's friends… Paul something.

Paul something, with a sly smile on his face. "You heard all that?" he asked.

"Yeah…" I said, running a hand through my hair--it was still sticking up from that gust of wind that blew in as she left--"who the fuck was she talking to?"

He smirked and signaled for me to follow him. "I'll explain everything…"

----

(Jesse)

When I was twelve, I stole a small coin from the offering tray during mass.

The priest, Father Santiago Rodriguez was a good man, who, in light of his beliefs, chose not to see the sins of people around him. He truly believed that people were good, and when trusted, would behave accordingly. (A/n: hmm...sound like someone we know?)

So he didn't see me take it.

No one did.

I kept that coin for three days until my father stumbled upon it as he was rummaging through one of my books.

I was whipped, 47 times for the theft of that coin. It was immediately returned to the Father Rodriguez who, in response to my father's pleas for forgiveness and penalty on my behalf later on assigned me as an acolyte boy for the Sunday services.

Every Sunday, I would pass by that altar, and remember, once again the crime that I had committed against my family, against God. It was horrible, every Sabbath, passing by the site where my sin first originated, lighting the rows and rows of candles as guilt ate away at my heart.

I told myself it was a penance, the immense weight my conscience now carried, that my burden--along with the marks on my back--were to make up for my sins, the ones that forbade me entrance into heaven, that took away an eternity with my Lord.

That's what I told myself. And it helped.

But it wouldn't, not this time. This feeling, the sudden rush of emotions I felt as I looked at her were much too horrible, nothing, I knew...nothing, would ever take away from this.

She ran to the beach, crying.

She ran to the beach, crying, sobbing uncontrollably, because of something I did. Because I was too much of a coward to stay, to explain, why it was that I could no longer repeat to her those words, the ones that I had secretly longed to hear, to whisper gently, since I had first seen her face. Since I had first gazed upon those eyes.

She ran to the beach, crying, and yet she doesn't understand.

Why it was, that I had to reject her in such a lowly manner.

I've tried to tell myself that this was for the best. That, somewhere, deep down, I know that I will be better without her. That she will be better without me.

Because, of course, what have I to offer to her that they could not? That they have not?

She ran to the beach, crying.

And yet, I know what will happen. Susannah will pick herself up, just like she's always done. She'll mend her broken heart, and that young man will pick up the pieces. I will always be here, 'hanging around', drifting, by her side. Never to be seen, never to be heard, never to be thought of again.

I've tried to tell myself that I never really loved her, but I know, this isn't true. Because if I've broken her heart today, I've shattered mine a lot worse.

I've tried to tell myself that what I did today was right, that it would soon spare the both of us.

But the words...they never sunk in.

----

(Suze)

It was a cold day. The wind blew in all directions like puffs of smoke, suffocating me to the point of exertion as it dragged the waves up; the highest I'd ever seen them go up the shore. There was no one else on the beach. The sky was cloudy and gray, and the air, unbelievably chilly, unlike the usual Carmel weather. And I knew, that not surfers were not loony enough to go out like this.

I guess that's what you'd have to be to bear it. Either heartbroken or crazy. I think it had registered--what with my wet clothes and hair smelling of seaweed--that I was a little bit of both.

He...he...left.

Ran away, when I told him, how I felt.

Why?

The sun began to set as I wiped the last of my tears, setting the sky ablaze in a rush of red and orange. It lasted for a few seconds before it began to drizzle, each droplet of water hitting my skin like bolts of lightning, and yet...I couldn't bring myself to move.

Why?

Do you ever get that feeling, like you're ready to die? When finally, after years and years of torment nothing matters anymore? Now, I'm not saying I have that feeling. I may be a bit emotional, but not at all suicidal. I do have a future ahead of me, even if sometimes, it feels as if I can't see it.

I didn't have that feeling. So why was it that I couldn't seem to budge? My brain was yelling at myself, screaming, Get up! Get up and go home and take a hot shower! And yet, I just didn't know how to move.

But I didn't have that feeling.

The waves got bigger and bigger. I could only blink as another one crashed against me, nearly dragging me down with it. I was full on soaked now. And barefoot, since my Chuck Taylors had long since slipped off and floated away.

I sat there, still as stone, pondering over the one question that I just couldn't let go. Or figure out. The one question that I was probably die with, left unanswered for another century and a half. Until, of course, the end came, or whatever.

Why?

Water rushed up towards me, engulfing me in the taste of salt as I lost my balance, and sank down with the sand. Finally I saw it. A huge tidal wave, the ones my brother Dopey would've died to ride on his surfboard, if you get my drift.

The one that would most likely swallow me up into the sea. I didn't even react to it coming. It was like my entire body was numb.

It hit me hard and carried me down, my hands unable to grasp the sand, as I sank into the ocean. I opened my mouth to scream, but it filled with the taste of saltwater. That was it. Now I would never know my answer.

'Goodbye… Jesse.'

----

(Jesse) (A/n: Happy, Alice? Now you know EXACTLY who's POV it is. God...the things I do for you. P.S.: I like books. Lots and lots of books. And money, too, to buy them. Just a little hint for my birthday...hunny.)

I materialized into Father Dominic's office. He looked very surprised to see me. "Jesse," he said, "what brings you here? Have you talked to Susannah?"

I swallowed. Just hearing the name on his lips was enough to send another invisible blow towards my stomach. "Padre, I have. She told me… that she loved me."

For a moment, just as I said those words, I thought he was about to fall out of his chair. But he didn't. He caught himself just in time. "Jesse… don't tell me you said you loved her back… you know it can never work out."

That I knew all too well.

"Father, relax. I rejected her. I ran away like a coward. I broke her heart." He seemed surprised by my bitterness on the subject, because he looked up at me and said, "Oh, Jesse… I'm very sorry. But you did the right thing."

I stared at him. I could not help feeling angry. "Did I? Padre, I have hurt her worse than before. She ran to the beach, she cried for hours. I could not take it anymore. I cannot see the woman I love cry over me like that." (A/n: that does sound like Jesse huh? I am very proud. It took me awhile to get into his lingo)

He did not reply. Was there anything to say? I steadied my resolve. "Father Dominic, I wish for you to exorcise me."

This time he really did fall out of his chair. "Jesse, I understand your pain… but surely, we could do this the natural way." He got up and straightened his robe. "Perhaps now we can work on why you are still here. Now… tell me…. before you died was there any---"

I could not control it anymore. The furniture started shaking. I was committing a great sin, yelling at a priest. "Don't you understand Padre??? She IS the reason I am staying here!! I will NEVER be able to move on until she does! I cannot take it anymore. She already has so many admirers. First that bastardo Slater, and now this new boy… yesterday…." My voice sunk into a whisper. "she was kissing this young man. He was trying to make love to her!" (A/n: lolx. corniness to the extreme, but that was what good 'ol Jeremy was trying wasn't it?)

I sank to the ground, covering my face. It was true. Susannah had resisted, but it was true. I couldn't take it anymore. I was ashamed of myself, ashamed of my outburst. I got up, trying to apologize. The father looked too shocked for words. "I am sorry Padre, I am ashamed of myself. Please, you must understand. I love her. She deserves a better life than this. Please exor---"

And then I heard it.

Susannah was in trouble. Her voice rang out, clear as a bell, in my head. "Father, I must go, she's in trouble." And I left.

I heard it again. 'Goodbye...Jesse.'

All of a sudden I knew what she had done.

I only hoped I was not too late.


Dudes...she's like, dead.

lOl. jk. You would kill me if that happened, wouldn't you?

No, don't worry. I wouldn't go THAT far to make this story interesting, I mean, if I did, where would the sequel be?

Exactly.

Oh, and speaking of which, I posted a little excerpt to it in my profile, if anyone's interested. I didn't want to like, you know, post it here, for fear that it would totally ruin the plot for those of you who didn't read the first draft of this story.

And speaking of drafts, read ROUGH DRAFT, which is expected to be posted next week, dedicated to my dear MEDiATOR BUDDiES, Angela and Christina.

Well, that's it. I'm sorry. I was in such a hurry with this chapter, I'm afraid I might've blotched the whole thing.

Aiy. School is starting, and I'm far from done with my math homework.

Alice, if you're reading this, can you help me with the word problems for A1?? I really need it.

Twilight is coming out in two days. I already own it. (Hahaha. I'm sorry.) Go to your local Borders. I'm sure they'll have it. Unless it's sold out. Which it might be. lOl. Oh wow, I'm horrible.

Happy reading, and Happy Twilight.

"WE WISH YOU A MERRY TWILIGHT

WE WISH YOU A MERRY TWILIGHT

WE WISH YOU A MERRY TWILIGHT

& A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

GOOD TIDINGS TO YOU,

TO JESSE & SUZE,

GOOD TIDINGS TO TWILIGHT

& A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!"

----

And now...I have to go shopping.

Because it's after Christmas, and I need a tote bag.

Loveness,

JESSiE xD

P.S. Chapter 10 is called "Reverie."

I really like the titles I'm coming up with it.