Chapter 9: A Little Help

Two days before the New Year, Albus went looking for Minerva in her office. He had something to tell her that he was sure she wouldn't be entirely happy about. Knocking on the open door, he took a step into the room.

"Do you have a minute" he asked.

"Of course, Albus, come in" she said with a smile.

He entered the office fully and took a seat in the chintz chair he had transfigured during an earlier visit and tried to gage her mood before telling her his news. Deciding to just spit it out, he began. "I wanted to let you know that I'm going to be away on New Year's Eve, so you'll have to take over should anything occur."

Minerva looked up sharply from her lesson plans"You won't be here for New Years? Albus, we've spent every New Year's Eve together since I started at Hogwarts fourteen years ago."

She had tried to keep the hurt out of her voice and not to sound like a child, but the truth was that her feelings were hurt. She had already been looking forward to their evening together, especially after Christmas, and she was so sure that Albus might try to kiss her. Now he wouldn't even be there.

"I'm sorry, my dear" he said gently. "You know I enjoy our New Year's celebrations, but I was invited to this party and as headmaster I must attend. I would invite you, but the invitation didn't say anything about bringing a guest and Armando never took me when I was his deputy so I'm not sure it would be appropriate. You'll find something else to do and I'll tell you all about the tedious boredom on the first."

He smiled; hoping to cheer her up, but could see the hurt in her eyes.

"That's alright, Albus" she said briskly. "You're certainly not required to entertain me every year. I hope you enjoy the party, now if you'll excuse me I have a lot of work to finish."

Albus was taken back by her abrupt dismissal, but rose from his chair and left the office. "I'm sorry" he repeated from the doorway.

He really was sorry to have to miss spending the evening with Minerva. Albus knew he would have a much better time sitting with her in front of a roaring fire, playing chess and talking about whatever came to mind; at midnight they would open a small bottle of champagne and toast the new year. Before the invitation to the party came Albus had found himself day dreaming about kissing his friend at midnight. At first, he was shocked by this fantasy, and then he realized that his feelings toward Minerva had been changing all year. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to kiss her at midnight on New Year's Eve, but now that wouldn't be possible. With a sigh, he returned to his rooms to pick out an outfit for the party. He hoped there wouldn't be very many of his admirers there.

After Albus had left her office, Minerva pulled back her sleeve and looked at the bracelet he gave her for Christmas. She had worn it everyday since and Albus had remarked several times how well it looked on her and how pleased he was that she liked it. She really had thought the gift was the final sign of many that he wished to court her, but now she wasn't so sure. Surely he could have contacted the people throwing the party and asked if he could bring a guest and was there really any good reason he had to attend just because he was the headmaster. Sending herself into a slight depression, Minerva decided that Albus must not want to spend the holiday with her at all and that he really didn't want to court her. She labeled herself a fool and slipped the bracelet off, placing it inside the top drawer of her desk.

For the rest of that day and the next, Albus noticed that Minerva didn't seem to be her usual self. He assumed it was because he was going to stand her up for New Year's Eve, but any time he attempted to talk to her about her mood she changed the subject. The longer this went on, the more he dreaded actually going to the party and leaving her behind, but he knew that as the new headmaster he was required to put in an appearance. The party was being held by one of the school governors and the last time a headmaster had attempted to decline the invitation his next budget request was ruthlessly denied.

By the time he left at seven thirty on the thirty-first, Albus had decided not to stop by and say good bye to Minerva. He didn't want to dampen her spirits anymore and certainly did not wish to fight with her before he left. With a heavy heart and his head full of ways he might be able to get back into Minerva's good graces, and even better find a reason to kiss her, Albus apparated to the party.

As he had feared, the house and grounds were filled with the same people who had been at the party back in August to celebrate him taking over the headmastership. When he was cornered by Miss Oates, known to him now as the pink lady, Albus wanted to laugh picturing Minerva's face if she had seen the dress the woman was wearing. For a moment he couldn't wait to tell her that her favorite person in the world had been at the party and then he realized that she probably wouldn't want to hear anything about the party. Thinking about Minerva brought back his daydream of their New Year's kiss and Albus had to excuse himself from his current companions on the pretense of going to get another glass of punch.

He walked out onto the balcony and found a quiet place to look out at the stars. Why did it bother him so much that he had upset Minerva, he wondered, and why did he want nothing more than to go back home to her? Albus' thoughts were interrupted when a warm hand landed on his shoulder and a familiar voice met his ears.

"Everything alright, Albus"

Albus turned to look at his sudden companion. "Armando! I didn't know you would be here. How are you"

"Just fine, old friend, just fine" he answered jovially.

"Retirement must suit you" Albus said with a smile. "You look wonderful."

"Thank you" the older man answered. "I wish I could say the same for you about being headmaster, but you seem to be in the lowest of spirits tonight. Anything an old friend can do to help"

Albus sighed"I think I'm the only one who can help myself this time, Armando, but I do thank you for the offer."

"Sometimes it helps just to talk about it" Armando suggested gently as he led Albus to a small bench nearby. "Now, what is it that troubles you, my boy"

Albus laughed"I'm afraid I haven't been a boy for quite some time." Then he got serious"Recently, I've noticed my feelings toward a certain person changing and I think she may feel the same, but it's all very confusing. Without realizing I had any romantic feelings for her I began to day dream of kissing her. I guess I just don't know what to do."

Armando smiled and patted Albus on the knee. "Have you been more concerned about her well being lately than ever before" he asked.

"Yes" Albus nodded.

"And have you started giving her gifts for no apparent reason and buying more extravagant things for her on gift giving occasions"

Again Albus nodded and his old friend chuckled.

"My boy, I do believe you're in love" Armando paused. "Has Minerva become aware of your subconscious advances yet"

"I'm not sure, I think she may have noti– Wait! How did you..."

The other man smiled and cut him off. "I've been watching the two of you for years, Albus" he said gently. "I'd hoped one of you would eventually realize how perfect you are for each other. Why don't you get out of here and go talk to her? I'll make your excuses."

"But I thought" Albus began.

"Nonsense, man! That story about budget refusals is something they made up to get every headmaster to attend. Besides, you've been here two hours already, that's good enough. Go on back to Hogwarts, follow your heart."

"Thank you, Armando old friend"Albus said, standing up. "If this works, I'll be forever in your debt."

Armando smiled and clapped the younger man on the back"Good luck, Albus."

Albus smiled at him and left the party, but as soon as he was back at Hogwarts his resolve failed him again. Instead of walking directly into the castle and going to find Minerva, he decided to walk about a bit and clear his head. It was after midnight by the time he finally made it inside.

Walking though the large front doors, and starting down the deserted hallways pierced only by the moon beams as they stood shrouded in darkness Albus felt, vaguely, as if he was going to his own death. He felt like a condemned man searching for the last bit of hope as his final time on earth came to a close, and yet at the same time he felt as if the end of the hour would bring him freedom as well. Stopping to think for a moment he concluded that whether it was his death or freedom, in some circles known as life, depended solely upon his perspective; of course that was the hard part.

For the moment he strode with purpose choosing to embrace what he was about to do as his freedom, but yet what if she were horrified? What if he had read her wrong and she was only being nice? Ten feet from the spot of contemplation he had resorted back to thinking he was doomed. Then yet twenty more feet and he had decided it was not like him to have such a dark outlook on things, and thus he changed once more.

This pattern continued for the remainder of his solitary walk to Minerva's door, which only resulted in Albus arriving much sooner than he had expected, no doubt due to his strides during the moments that life took hold of him. Cursing his need to pick up his speed with his spirits Albus began to pace.

Twirling his beard in one hand, and mumbling to himself Albus carefully weighed his options. On the other side of the door Minerva had climbed into bed twenty minutes ago, not long after the clock had struck midnight. She had waited up thinking Albus would return before then telling her he just had to ring in the New Year with her.

Foolish she thought to herself as she slammed her face into her pillow in an effort to stop the tears that had begun to mount their attack on her eyes from succeeding in falling down her cheeks. Thinking Albus' behavior had meant something deeper Minerva had found she liked the idea of being courted by her friend, and had secretly hoped he might kiss her as the clock struck midnight.

Having the night off from school duties Minerva had tried to entertain herself with various books, essays, a new theory in transfiguration, but it appeared that every time she looked at the clock only a few minutes had gone by. Leaving her room she had gone to see what some of the other staff members were up to, but all those not on duty had left for the evening so quietly she slowly returned to her rooms.

She had spent the rest of the evening trying to drown herself in some classical music, but she spent most of the evening thinking back on her memories of the school year. So at midnight she had prepared for, and retired to bed.

Albus stopped once more before Minerva's door and knocked with purpose, hoping she would answer the door quickly so his resolve would not fail him. A moment later Minerva opened her door wearing a dark blue nightgown, and her hair was messily falling down her back.

Freedom, Albus thought to himself, this is most definitely life. "Albus, what are you doing here?" Minerva asked after her initial shock of seeing him at her door.

"I wanted to give you something."

"I hope it isn't a dessert from the party; the last time you did that I got sick."

"No, no it isn't that." Albus said quickly to reassure herself. "It, well it is-it is," Stopping his senseless babbling Albus stepped closer to Minerva, and gently cupped her face. As her eyes widened in surprise Albus ran his thumbs over her cheekbones before leaning down to kiss her.

The kiss was gentle and soft speaking of promises yet made but never to be broken. Minerva closed her eyes as she was about to respond, but never got the chance before Albus pulled back. Dropping his hands from her face he whispered, "Happy New Year, my dear," and turned to leave.

Minerva shook her head when he was gone, and leaned into the hallway to watch Albus' retreating form until she could no longer see it. Closing her door she leaned against it, and closed her eyes as she relived the kiss in her mind. Touching her lips she crossed the short distance to her bed, and sank beneath the covers: at first a soft smile played about her lips before she permitted her mouth the indulgence of grinning widely.

Once Albus reached his rooms he too spent a few moments against his door as he tried to remember the sensation of kissing those beautiful lips. They were much softer than he had envisioned them to be, and Albus grinned to himself. Not the youngest of men Albus frequently stored his memories away in a pensieve, but he knew that no matter how old he became and no matter how many facts attempted to befuddle his brain that the sight and first taste of Minerva would remain etched in his mind perfectly.

Too excited to sleep right away Albus began thinking of various ways to shower Minerva with affection as he courted her. The first thing was a rose for her in the morning, with a note or without a note? Albus pondered all the possibilities as he waited the real dawning of a new year.