Chapter 4 - the veil of death

There were voices coming from around him as Sirius felt himself rouse slightly. He had no idea how long he had been stunned, but knew that he had not been enervated. The spell had worn off. The voices were whispering around him.

"How could he have survived?" came a hushed female voice.

"I didn't think it was possible, but then again, we don't get many through the portal" came another, older female voice.

"But I thought the fall alone would be enough to kill him" said a third voice, male this time.

"Shhh. Look, he's awake" came the older female voice.

There were still whisperings, but they seemed much more distant. Sirius tried to open his eyes to see where he was, but when he opened them everything was just as black as when they had been closed. He looked around slightly panicked, wondering if he had lost his eyesight. He sat up and put a hand to his face. They say that even in the thickest darkness, you can still see your own hand. His heart ran cold as he realised that he couldn't see his hand in front of him. He felt around him and his hand touched the wall behind him. It was cold, hard brick. The floor felt like it was made of concrete. He tried desperately to see where he was, but the blackness enveloped him and overwhelmed his senses. He suddenly felt something move near his face and gave a start of surprise. He reached his hands in front of him, but felt nothing. The hairs on the back of his neck began to prickle with fear and he had the strange sensation that people were watching him.

"My, my" a female voice whispered in his ear.

He spun around and lunged in the direction the voice had come from, but grasped nothing as he sprawled onto the ground. He got up quickly, looking around in vain, to see who it was that spoke to him. There was a laugh coming from his other side. A male this time. He tried to see who it was, but the darkness was still too thick. He wondered where he was, then suddenly everything came back to him. The duel with Bellatrix, the spell hitting him in the chest, falling through the archway, and Harry screaming for him. He stood up.

"Who are you?" he hissed at the voices.

"The years have not been kind to you, Sirius" the female voice whispered and he felt something touch his face again.

He jumped back and felt his back against the wall.

"Stop torturing the poor boy you two. He's been through enough as it is" came the scolding voice of the older female.

Sirius looked up in surprise, though he still couldn't see through the darkness. He felt something stir in the back of his mind. He knew where he had heard these voices before.

"Mrs Potter?" he asked in disbelief. The 3 voices chuckled at him.

"Ah so you remember me then? Good" came Mrs Potter's voice.

"I can't believe that he could recognise your voice and not mine mother" came the male voice in mock hurt.

Sirius grinned.

"James" he said, his voice still conveying his disbelief.

There were more laughs.

"So then, do you remember me now?" came the first female voice.

"Lily" he said softly.

He felt tears stinging his eyes and blinked them back.

"Let's not keep him in the dark like this. He's not dead remember, so he can't see us" came Mrs Potters voice.

The room suddenly filled with light and Sirius needed to shield his eyes against the brightness. When his eyes had adjusted he looked around the room. It had a concrete floor and brick walls. He couldn't locate the source of the light, but the room was lit brightly. There were people gathered in the room. Most of them were talking over the other side in whispers, occasionally casting nervous glances towards him. There were 3 people, however, that were standing above him with bemused expressions.

"Where am I?" Sirius asked them. They all frowned at the question. Mrs Potter answered him

"You, my dear, are in limbo. You shouldn't be here" she said kindly.

"What do you mean limbo?" Sirius asked in confusion.

"You aren't dead, but you can't go back. Basically you're stuck" Lily explained.

"Why can't I go back?" Sirius demanded.

The 3 of them looked nervously at each other for a moment.

"The portal only opens one way mate. It only opens when someone walks through it, but it doesn't open at all from this end. The only way that the unspeakables do it is because they use a special spell before they go through" James said kindly.

"What spell" Sirius asked curiously.

"Oh, they cast a spell on the archway before they go through so that it stays open while they come in here to ask us questions" James said knowingly.

"So I'll just wait until they get here and leave with them" Sirius said, folding his arms and setting his jaw in determination.

The three others looked down at him with sad smiles.

"It's not as simple as that Sirius" Lily said softly.

"Why not?" Sirius asked.

"Well, we're able to find out what's going on in the living world, and the last time we heard, the ministry still had a warrant for you, dead or alive" James said.

The reality of the situation dawned on Sirius and his face fell. He realised what would happen if a ministry official came through and saw him. He'd either be killed on the spot, or sent to Azkaban. He knew that he couldn't survive going back to Azkaban, especially now that Voldemort could gain control of the dementors. He knew that they'd give him the dementors kiss on the spot. Sirius threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

"What am I supposed to do then?" he demanded. "I need to get back! Harry needs me!"

"It's up to you what you do dear" Mrs Potter said with a kind smile. "You can chose to wait around, or you can take matters into your own hands. I doubt that you'll ever be able to go back though"

"What do you mean by taking matters into my own hands?" he asked.

"You have a wand there Padfoot. You can use it to kill yourself. Then at least you'll be out of limbo" James said quietly.

"Padfoot?" Sirius asked, his eyes widening. "That's it! You're a genius James! No one from the ministry knows that I'm an anamagi."

The three others looked at him with sympathetic smiles. His heart fell.

"What now?" he asked, exasperated.

"How are you going to get to the door?" Lily asked tentatively, pointing up to the closed off archway which stood about 5 meters above where he was standing.

"I'll have to jump high wont I?" he said firmly, but felt all of his hope dwindling.