Lorelei was pleased with the changes she'd made to the infamous dungeon five classroom. The chamber still looked like a dungeon, with smooth stone floors and walls and enchanted torches. Those were things she would never change, even if she could. Due to her love of Gothic Romance, Lorelei enjoyed the atmosphere. After years of teaching in dungeons, she still felt a thrill every time she descended shadowy steps. Even so, there had been plenty of room for improvement.

The most noticeable change was the lighting. The visibility in most dungeons was deplorable. Natural sunlight was deleterious to many delicate potions and ingredients. For this reason, dungeons made ideal laboratories. Regardless, that was no excuse for tolerating a gloomy and unsafe learning environment. She wondered how many students had added the wrong ingredient or an ingredient at the wrong time due to insufficient light. The results of such an error, an explosion involving frogs' brains, had left stains on the ceiling. The one above her desk looked like a butterfly.

Pretty.

Thanks to an intricate charm gleaned from Weird Wizarding Dilemmas and Their Solutions, dungeon five now boasted enchanted windows. The narrow rectangular windows placed high in the walls let in what appeared to be natural sunlight to dispel the gloom.

The other major improvement was the removal of a collection of pickled animals that had floated in glass jars around the room. Convinced they were the evidence of a disturbed mind, Lorelei gladly relocated them to a storage cabinet in another dungeon. The layout of the room remained the same - twenty cauldrons between tables large enough to hold brass scales and numerous ingredients and implements.

An anxious voice asked, "Miss Lorelei is pleased with Dobby's work?"

A House-elf stood by the unlit fireplace. His huge green eyes bulged in worry. He twisted a blue sweater with a letter 'H' between his long fingers as he waited for her answer.

"I'm more than pleased," she said. "I've never seen brass shine so brightly. And the tables! I didn't believe the tubeworms could be scraped off."

"Dobby cleans Gryffindor Tower," the elf said, "but when Dobby heard that Lorelei was to come, Dobby had to clean for Lorelei!"

"Thank you." She wasn't too surprised at the elf's knowledge. House elves always kneweverything that went on in their, and through a love of gossip, their brethren's, domain. Dobby had probably heard that she gave clothing to any House elf who asked. They had to ask- she didn't just strew hats and socks about for any elf in her service to find. Lorelei knew most House elves were perfectly content. She had not appreciated Dumbledore's droll inquiry of whether or not she would like to join a student organization lobbying for the preservation or protection of elf welfare. A society named SPEW... tempting, but no. The anxious creature before her was probably a charter member. None as fervent as the converted and all that.

Hoping to avoid a fanatical spiel, or worse—a paean of praise—Lorelei said, "I suppose I have you to thank for the lack of dust in Professor Binns' classroom as well."

"Yes, Lorelei." Dobby's bat like ears reddened in pleasure when she thanked him again.

.

Tight lipped, Severus waited impatiently for his last class to put their attempted potions on his desk and leave. The students had been unusually quiet that lesson, aware that the professor was in a dangerous mood. It was true, his temper had steadily deteriorated over the course of the day. Professor Lorelei was a mystery he hadn't solved and he was not pleased in any way. First, she had missed the feast by being indisposed. When he confronted her in the Infirmary, the impossible woman had boldly refused to answer his question. Instead, she had flirted—and he knew when a woman was flirting, although it had been a good long while since one had flirted with him. He suppressed a thin lipped smile thinking of Poppy's appalled reaction to his conversation with her patient. After all, he was hardly a prude, and she had only exposed her slender back.

And the smooth skin at the nape of her neck . . . and her graceful arms . . . and the curve of her . . . .

He refused to continue the irrelevant line of thought. Severus' expression grew grim as he recalled the undignified chase through the corridors that morning. He hadn't seen more than a glimpse of the fleeing woman, but that was all it took to make him chase after her like a schoolboy. He ought to be relieved that he didn't catch her. What would he have done with her?

Yet another erroneous thought was ruthlessly suppressed. He reflected instead on the noon meal and how he had waited for Professor Lorelei to show her face—only to wait in vain.

Refusing to spend one moment more thinking about that irritating woman, Severus exited his classroom and stalked toward dungeon number five. He would confront the source of his irritation. She would answer his questions, and he would evaluate her teaching. If either her answers or her abilities were unsatisfactory, he would have her dismissed.

He swept into Dungeon five and halted abruptly, noticing several things at once. Lorelei was not in the classroom. Some sort of enchanted windows filled the classroom with light. Every surface gleamed. The floating specimens had been removed.

Was this a dungeon or a bloody tea room?

He observed her desk and the precise manner in which everything upon it was arranged. Humph...the last pencil was out of sync with its neighbours by a few millimetres. Disdainfully, he pushed the offensive item back into perfect alignment. Under the desk, a glitter of gold caught his eye. He bent down. An Invisibility Cloak spilled partially out of a carryall. Snape connected the cloak to the sound he had heard on the steps last night and the person Peeves had almost caught in the corridor. The brazen woman had obviously used flirtation to put him off the scent, so to speak. Well, he was not put off—any longer. Hearing students approaching, he made a decision. He put on the Invisibility Cloak and moved to the back of the dungeon to wait for the professor to arrive.

.

Lorelei drank the Temporary Aging Potion and grimaced. Why did sugar ruin the potions that needed it most? She looked at her reflection in the small gilded mirror she had hung in her private storeroom. Scary. She looked like her mother. Oh well, as long as she didn't start acting like Marina. She smiled at herself and then looked away hurriedly. She was getting the creeps.

The sounds of students arriving brought Lorelei out of the storeroom and into the classroom beyond. She marvelled how young the first years looked. After years of experience, she knew her first lesson for first years by heart. They were always surprised that they didn't get to make a potion the first day. Every other professor she knew let the children whip up a simple solution to cure boils.

She patiently explained to the little girl whose hand was perpetually in the air—wasn't there an overachiever in every class—why that wasn't a good idea. Did they know how many students added porcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire? Well, the ones who did took a trip to the Hospital Wing. After their cauldron melted and their potion gave them boils. It was amusing how they concentrated on correct laboratory procedure after that. The students learned to weigh nettles exactly, and crush snake fangs precisely. Next class, they would make the Boil Solution confidently with skills that would grow throughout the year.

Before class ended, Lorelei gave her favourite speech. She credited the brilliant Professor Snape, who would one day teach them the "subtle science and exact art of potion making." She would teach them the skills they needed to"really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind."At this point, Lorelei pulled a small vial from her robes and drank it. As the first years watched, riveted, she said her favourite line, "ensnaring the senses."

The counter potion took affect and Lorelei's appearance became thirty years younger. The students gasped. It always made her day. Finishing her speech, she told the students that during seven years of teaching, none of her students had ever melted a cauldron, exploded anything, or harmed themselves or others. This class would not ruin her perfect record. If taking House points and giving detentions would help concentration and application, she would gladly give Professor Snape a run for his money. Her students left quietly, promising to study for the next lesson. Lorelei was congratulating herself on a job well done when the silence was broken by the mocking sound of slow clapping.

.

Severus was livid. He had watched that woman give her lesson to the ickle firsties and grudgingly admitted that she was a competent, if coddling teacher. She appeared to be a beautiful older woman with dark curls, and midnight eyes. She was in excellent shape. He started to regret not catching her in the corridor earlier. He also began to find excuses for her infuriating behaviour. When she called him brilliant and quoted from his own first years' speech, he—damn her to Hades—actually smiled. Then she had drunk that infernal counter-potion. In reality, she was younger, and even more disturbingly attractive. Her lips were redder, her skin softer and without faint lines. She was obviously a siren, trying to lure him and every other man to their doom. He would not be lured.

.

"Who's there?" Lorelei asked, but she already knew. The air was filled with tension.

Professor Snape removed the Invisibility Cloak, throwing it on a table. His face was expressionless, but his body projected cold fury. "I hope you've enjoyed your first day at Hogwarts." Snape's tone implied otherwise as he continued, "If I have anything to say about it, your first day will be your last." His voice became increasingly clipped. "You are completely unsuited to teaching impressionable minds. I am informing the Headmaster of my findings immediately. I suggest you get a House-elf to pack your things."

"Feel free to tell Dumbledore anything you want, Professor," Lorelei said, "but I'm not going anywhere."

"We shall see." Snape's menacing tone lingered, long after he had left the room in a swirl of billowing black.