A Day in the Life of a Psycho Killer
Chapter 2
Summary: Bakura's view of the world, the people, and the many ways he can torment the two! Note: some character bashing.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own YuGiOh! Nor do I own Slipknot or their song Wait and Bleed, heck I'm only borrowing that CD from a guy in my class! And I do not own Liz; she's my friend!
(A/N so you all understand Liz, she is completely hyperactive just like the rest of us so most of her speech is very fast and random! Think random gossipy girls on TV but Liz doesn't gossip she just goes on about ducks!)
"Speech"
'Thoughts'
/Mind links/
Note: Yamis and Hikaris have separate bodies. (Duh)
3 days after last chapters end
Bakura: still hasn't run out of quarters or used Tea's credit card yet " Sigh, this is getting boring, I've mastered every game, got high score on all the games, and won HEAPS of lollies, foods, and toys, I'm going shopping. See ya Random Arcade Dude."
Random Arcade Dude: "I'm in for a huge promotion after this guy. What? You're leaving? Oh, ok, bye, I guess, well, there goes my promotion…"
At the Mall
Bakura: 'I have all this money but I can't help shoplifting, I AM a Tomb Robber after all, and one of, no, THE best!' Wanders for a while 'Oh look, it's Yugi and Yami, how can I cause them pain…like their little friends, MUAHAHAHAHA!'
Yugi: "BAKURA! Hey! How's it going? I haven't seen you for like 3 days! Did you hear the Arcade was closed, some guy with hundreds of thousands of dollars in quarters and on credit card was playing in there, so no one was allowed in while he was there, so he could concentrate I guess"
Bakura: "You're lookin' at him, I got bored before I even ran out of quarters, clocked every game in there!"
Yugi and Yami: wide eyed and speechless
Bakura: "What?"
Yami/Yugi, I don't trust him, how did he get all that money? I've known him for 5000 years, old habits die hard/
Yugi/But Yami, 5000 years, isn't that plenty long enough to have given up petty things like shoplifting/
Yami/Not at all, more likely its time to spend thinking of new fool proof tactics, and he wasn't a shoplifter, he was a Tomb Robber/
Yugi: "Bakura? How did you get all that money, just a month ago you were complaining about not having enough money to buy yourself lunch."
Bakura: "Err, I…won a competition? Yeah, that's right, a competition."
Yugi: "Wow that's great Bakura! What did you have to do?"
Bakura: "I, ah, wrote a poem?"
Yami: sceptical tone of voice "You wrote a poem? Well come on, lets hear it."
Bakura: "Yeah…no, I don't think so." Walks towards Knife King shop
Yugi: blinks "Did we do something wrong?"
Yami: "Yes Yugi, we did, we got too close to spoiling whatever devilish plans he has up his sleeve, or to some crime he has committed in secret"
Yugi: rolling his eyes "Yami you worry too much, I'm telling you, Bakura has gone straight, he's trying to bring his life back on track, you know, all that mushy crap Tea likes so much" winks
Just Outside Mall
Bakura: Shudders "That was too close, if they knew I was killing off their friends I'd be in so much shit now, the Pharaoh clearly doesn't trust me, but then, when has he ever?" Grins evilly "I know how to rid myself of those two fools, or at least one of them. If I torment Yami enough, make him think he's seeing things, he will go mad, or the others will think he is which is all I need. As for Yugi, I have the perfect fate for him, but I can't risk it until I've dealt with Yami…" Wanders off plotting
Next Day at the Kame Game Shop
Bakura: Knocks on door 'This had better work, but hey, if it doesn't, I always have plan B in my pocket.' Pulls out flick knife, flicks it a few times and places it back in his pocket
Yami: Opens door "What do you want, Bakura?"
Bakura: "Yami, that's not a very nice way to greet a good friend now is it."
Yami: "No it's not, lucky there's no good friends around today huh."
Bakura: "Oh I'm hurt," Rolls eyes "are ya gonna let me in or what?"
Yami: "Why should I? You probably just want to steal some cards!"
Bakura: "Why would I do such a thing, I only steal from strangers and people I hate, or just strongly dislike!" Pockets a Multiply Monster card 'Let the maddening begin…' Grins evilly
Yami: "What are you so pleased about."
Bakura: "Oh well, the reason I came over, I got an exchange student from New Zealand? Yeah, she calls it NZ for short. Anyway, she's bored at my place 'cos I'm always out and she got lost the other day, all I did was let her loose at the mall! I have some more stuff to deal with today and I was wondering if you could look after her?"
Yami: "Sure, whatever, it's boring round here too, what with Yugi working all day at that random hairdressers shop, you know they wouldn't let him work there if they knew he was stealing hair gel and dye!"
Bakura: "Sweet, her name's Liz. SEE YA!" Runs out door
Yami: Walks over to open door to see Bakura running up the street like a maniac "Yeah… Wonder when this New Zealand person gets here." Goes back inside and walks into the kitchen "WHAT THE! HEY GET OUTA THERE!"
Liz: Going through cupboards leaving a HUGE mess behind her "Man, don't you have any cheese? I mean a house shop thingie just can't be complete without CHEESE! Or Llamas, do you have a llama? I like llamas, llamas are so randomly cute and fuzzy and… CHEESE WHIZ!" Pulls a whipped cream sorta container that has cheese in it out of the fridge "Ooh…" Eating cheese spray "Mmph, I can see why you don't like ducks…"
Yami: "Uh what?" 'What have I got myself into, I should've learned by now, never help Bakura!'
Liz: Now hyped up on cheese "Bored bored bored bored bored bored… BYE!" Runs out into the street
Yami: "HEY WAIT! COME BACK! YOU'LL GET LOST!" Chasing after 'If anything happens to her while I'm meant to be keeping an eye on her I am in so much shit! Bakura will pay for this!'
At Toys 'R' Us
Liz: "Ooh and I want that… and that… ooh and this…" Picking up random toys and games off shelves and giving them to Yami to carry!
Yami: "Are you gonna pay for all this stuff?" (A/N Yami has already employed three random guys he found outside to help him carry all the ORANGE stuff Liz was picking off the shelves, lol)
Liz: "Are you kidding? Bakura promised me you would pay for EVRYTHING I wanted!" Returns to grabbing orange knick-knacks
Yami: "WHAT!"
Random Guy One: "Dude, you loaded or something? Remember you gotta pay us all 5 an hour each!"
Yami: "Yeah I remember. Oi Liz, pick up the pace hmm?"
Liz: Blinks "OK sure." Sprints down the isles in 10 minutes flat followed by four walking mountains of toys and games and orange stuff!
Meanwhile at Kyoto Kobe Sapporo's newest mall: Rama Rama Ahuri Shoppingu Moru
Bakura: "I wonder how Yami is surviving with Liz, who am I kidding, only the specially trained or experienced can cope with one as randomised as her! MUAHAHAMUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Starts to play with lighter
Lighter: Runs out of lighter fluid, flame goes out
Bakura: "WHAT THE? HEY! NO! YOU CAN'T RUN OUT NOW! I NEED FIRE! Sprints into my favourite store Light Up( "QUICK! My lighter just died! I need to refill it!"
Goth Shop Assistant: "Dude…" Goes out back and returns with a flask of lighter fluid and a funnel "There man, Lighter Fluid, free funnel, go burn down an orphanage or something."
Bakura: Blinks "If I promise to hurt some people with this lighter will you give me a discount?"
Goth Shop Assistant: "Yeah, why not, its just paper and metal, 10 instead of 20."
Bakura: "Make it 5,"
Goth Shop Assistant: "7.50."
Bakura: "Deal!" Hands over 8 and takes 50c change
Goth Shop Assistant: "Later dude" Hands over Lighter Fluid then puts on some headphones, Bakura's excellent easily recognises the song Wait and Bleed from Slipknot
Back with Liz and Yami
Yami: Has completely lost it "YOU!" Points to Liz "YOU HAVE BEEN SENT FROM RA TO PUNISH ME!" Yelling at sky "WHAT HAVE I DONE TO YOU! WHY HAVE YOU CURSED ME WITH THIS… THIS… DEMON?" Kneels down and punches sidewalk "I can't take any more, I choose the nut house!"
Liz: "Wish granted!" Drags Yami into a car sales yard "Ooh this one!"
Hot Sales Guy: (A/N I will let each individual reader decide on his appearance) "Hey nice choice, do you know what you've actually chosen or do you just think it looks cool?" Flashes a perfect smile
Liz: "It looks cool!"
Hot Sales Guy: "Well, what we have here is a black open back jeep, with power stern and it's 4 wheel drive capable. But of course, like every car we have on sale here, it comes with a free pair of fluffy dice in one of four colours, red, black, pink and orange."
Liz: Eyes grow wide "I WILL TAKE IT! Orange dice please!"
Hot Sales Guy: "Ok just sign here, and here, and here, your initials here and here, and I will need your fingerprint here, now one more signature and we are done. Here are the keys, oh and I'm supposed to see your drivers licence but we lose too much money doing that! BYE!"
Liz: "OH YEAH! I'VE BEEN LET LOOSE ON THE ROADS WITH A CAR! WHEEEEEE!" Smashes into fourteen letterboxes before arriving at the Local Mental Hospital "There you are Yami, oh but first, what's your card number? I want to keep spending money."
Yami: "Hmm? Oh, 3733."
Liz: "Sweet, OK, we can go in now."
Both get out of car, Yami looks lost and Liz looks very pleased about something, I doubt we will ever know what!
Receptionist: "Hello, how may I direct your psychopath?"
Liz: "My friend Yami needs to come here, he has problems."
Yami: "I AM THE DUCK LORD, GOOSE MAN! ALL HAIL THE SNAIL!"
Receptionist: "Yes I see, we will take him off your hands."
Liz: "K, catch ya later Duck Lord!" Leaves to go explore the city and continue to spend Yamis money!
Back at the Kame Game shop again!
Bakura: Hiding in Yugi's room "This shouldn't take long"
About an hour and a half later
Bakura: Quietly setting stuffed animals on fire
Door: Opens and then slams shut, I mean what else is a door gonna do!
Yugi: "YAMI! IM HOME! I GOT SOME MORE GEL FROM WORK!"
Bakura: "About time" Goes downstairs thinking it will be more fun somewhere away from the game shop. (A/N I mean think about it, this is the perfect hide out for him and consider all the cards and things he can make new decks with, or sell… and then steal back and resell!)
Yugi: "Yami? You home?"
Bakura: "Yami's gone out, he asked me to hang around an tell you, he wanted me to take you to this secret place. He has a surprise for you!"
Yugi: "Wow really? Cool; let's go then! Let me just go put some more gel in my hair"
Bakura: 'Yes put LOTS of gel in your hair' Evil grins
Minutes later
Yugi: "Ok I'm ready."
Random Alleyway somewhere
Bakura: "This is the spot, he gave me very clear instructions."
Yugi: "Are you
sure? Let me see those instructions."
Bakura: "Ah I can't, I
memorised them and chucked the paper away."
Yugi: "Well repeat them to me!"
Bakura: "Umm I can't I forgot them…"
Yugi: "Then we are in the wrong place?"
Bakura: "Yes, I, no, I mean. Ah bugger it, you die now!" Sets Yugi's hair on fire! (A/N I was building up to this the whole time, stealing extra gel, desperately needing lighter fluid, if you didn't cat on until now you're really thick!)
Yugi: (A/N what else are ya gonna do if you're on fire?) "AHHHHHHHHHH! HELP! HELP! IM ON FIRE!"
Bakura: "Duh that was the point!" Having made sure only Yugi's head was on fire he watches and waits to hear the distinctive sound of the brain turning into popcorn!
Yugi: POP Collapses dead
Days later at Yugi's Funeral
Bakura: "He was so young… and short… and annoyingly innocent…"
Random Announcing Priest Person: "And here is one of Yugi's close friends, who was allowed to leave the Local Mental Hospital for a day to come say goodbye…"
Yami: Walks up to box thingie "Ahem… I TOLD YOU YUGI! I TOLD YOU HE WOULD NEVER CHANGE! BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN WOULD YOU! NOW LOOK WHERE YOU ARE! BURN FOOL BURN! AHAHAHAHA! May yesterdays washing have mercy on your soul…"
Hospital people: Tie straight jacket around Yami and lead him back to the cushioned van.
The end-ish
There ya are, my 2nd chapter, and more 2 come, one day, when I've got nothing better 2 do than torment 'innocent' anime characters
GOODBYE FROM THE GIRL NAMED FRED!
… is Japanese for Llama Llama Duck Mall
This isn't a real store, it would just be cool, we r mostly all pyromaniacs at out school!
