The Slightly-odd Adventures of Rurouni-plushies:

One: How to eat octopus sushi, and other pure, forgiving foods...

Kagi's Note: Okay, while on AIM with Mimi(my sister), I thought of these funny things..but y'know, I had to edit them...so, I don't know..just..remember..I'm crazy-ish..

This is like some toher non-published series I did, but y'know, they are just..there, and just experience the events.. only not really any epic battles, this is more of a "daily-life", if you will..it's also more of a narrative, with less talking..-"Yes..it's wierd I know, but please try to enjoy it..Also! Please forgive this one's awful mistakes in grammar if it doesn't sound right at times!

Start!

It was a special, special day and Soujiro plushie smiled.....as usual, but not his everyday smile, nooo, this was a special smile, smiled only for a reason of great smile-worthy accomplishment. For, in front of him, and in his hands, is a tray containing four octopus sushi. These are special Sushi, made by Soujiro-plushie himself. He smiles more, and sets the tray on a low table. Kenshin-plushie emerges from his room, as he has just awoken, and wishes for food now. Because, if plushies can make sushi, then they must be able to eat food..

And thus, Soujirou-plushie beckons him to try these awesome octopus sushi, and, since they were not made by Kaoru-plushie, Kenshin-plushie goes 'Ah well', and decides to try these. Soujirou-plushie and Kenshin-plushie proceed to sit happily on the floor, and eat the sushi...

BUT OH NO!!

Kenshin's octopus hasn't been all the way killed, and he turns green as the tentacle wriggles in front of his face..

Soujirou-plushie shudders, and looks away, disgusted, and Kenshin retreats to the kitchen, to murder his half-dead prey, with the Battousai-look on his face..

And thus, Soujirou pushes his sushi away after staring at it intently to see if it moved, and, by some paranoid hallucination, it did...O.o..

And from this action, the poor octopus sushi felt un-loved...

And thus, Sano-plushie quickly comes to the scene and devoures the once-un-loved sushi..

He thinks it is quite tasty, and the sushi cries for joy in his gambling, half-starved belly..

And now, Kenshin -plushie comes back, with his mouth full of the octopus tentacle, and, seeing some hanging out, slurps the rest like a noodle, thus causing everyone to stare at him, quite appalled..

Kenshin-plushie sees this, and smiles diarmingly, and sits back down, chewing the rest.

Soujirou-plushie cannot take anymore, and retires to his plushie room, where he reads plushie books.

Sano-plushie nudges Kenshin-plushies ribs at the Tenken's cowardice, thus causing half the tentacle to come back out, and Sano-plushie laughs hysterically, while Kenshin plushie turns green and goes to the bathroom, because y'know, having to try and eat something three times is too much, even for a Battousai plushie, who has seen lots of plushie-gore..

Upon hearing Kenshin-plushies frantic steps toward the bathroom, Soujirou-plushie peeks out into the hall, and sees Sano-plushie, throwing dice into the air, because he is bored at his friends' cowardice..

Soujirou-plushie then gets an evil idea, so evil, it's like he was the Tenken-killer again.........I mean, this is 'Oh my Gawd-Evil' here people! He walks back into his room, and from a box, pulls out a Katana---

He hides it behind his back and approaches Sano-plushie. Sano-plushie wonders what the heck is behind Soujirou-plushie, and he leans to one side, still tossing his dice in the air. He sees the sword too late!

slashclatterroll

Tenken Soujirou-plushie moves so fast, and before Sano-plushie knows it, his dice are split cleanly in half....thus causing smoky-white souls to rise up into the roof, and then, into the sky...

And thus, Sano-plushie breaks into tears, and clutches the half-dice in his hands, for the dice were his friends. Soujirou-plushie sees his distress, and comforts him by patting him on the back, and showing him an educational slide-show, full of facts about how gambling dice have assisted in loss of money, poor managing skills, and numerous drive-by shootings...

Sano-plushie is shocked, and throws his dice on the floor as if they were tiny , now-triangular snakes..

Soujirou-plushie knods his head intelligently, for yes, they were evil things...like Joof, who is irrelevant to this storyline..

Sano-plushie raises his hand to his forehead, falls to the floor, fainted, this was all so sudden, all TOO sudden, he just learned his friends, the dice, were a race of killers..and Kenshin-plushie can't stand three-time attempted sushi..his friends were dropping like tiny flies down a ravine..Kenshin-plushie just then emerges from the bathroom, looking just dandy again, and he appraches his friends, and sees Sano on the floor, the dice in half, and Soujirou-plushie with a sword in his hand....(and a slide-show screen, which was also irrelevant to the story, sorry to interrupt, go on..v)

Thinking the worst of the situation, he grows sick again, and rushes back to the bathroom, only to find that Hiko-plushie has occupied it, for it was morning, and he had to put on his cape just right..because otherwise it ruined Hiko-plushie's whole day!

Kenshin-plushie fantically searches around, and realizes in his panic, that there was no blood. Instantly his ache goes away, and he is just dandy again..He then approaches the kitchen, for he is now hungry again, and sees a terrible sight!!

Gasp clash OH NO

Kaoru-plushie was chopping carrots!!

............You know what that means right?!?

It means she was going to cook a dinner!! Kaoru-plushie drops the knife, like a murderer dropping a gun, and stares at Kenshin-plushie with a 'on-no-I-was-caught-in-the-act!' look...

Kenshin plushie then gives her the 'shame fingers', which is when you brush one forefinger with the other.......thus causing Kaoru-plushie to hang her head, in remeberance of last time, when her cooking poisoned the STRONGEST of the stomachs, Hiko-plushie's, and from then on, she was not allowed to cook until she went to cooking school in Germany...Harusame-plushie constantly begs Kaoru-plushie to go, but Kaoru-plushie insists she cannot leave her beloved friends behind.

PHFT! At this, Harusame-plushie usually scoffs with disgust...

And then, at that moment when Kenshin-plushie was scolding Kaoru-plushie, Harusame-plushie walks in, as if on cue..O.o..She begins to gather eggs and imported chocolate, and other cooking things..and stirs the contents and put them into an oven, and they begin to bake right in front of Kaoru-plushie...to add insult to umm..shame..THUS CAUSING KAORU-PLUSHIE TO FLUSH RED AND PICK UP THE KNIFE AND ATTEMPT TO CHOP HARUSAME-PLUSHIE'S BROWNIES INTO LITTLE TINY BITE-SIZED-BUT-HALF-COOKED PIECES!!

AND THUS A SLIGHTLY-EPIC-BATTLE-OF-BLIND FURY-VERSUS-BAKED-GOODS BEGINS!!

Kaoru-plushie charges at Harusame-plushie's defenseless brownies but is quickly interrupted by Sano-plushie! He runs in and pleads Kaoru-plushie not to destroy the tasty brownies, because they didn't do anything wrong, and he doesn't want her to turn into an evil being just like his friends, the dice, were.

And Kaoru-plushie stares at him and stops her angry attack, and realizes she almost did wrong, and, while the emotional background music begins to waft through the air, she puts the knife down and hugs the warm, fresh-out-of-the-oven brownies, and looks to Harusame-plushie. Harusame-plushie nods her head, and Kaoru-plushie beams, and stuffs one of the brownies into her mouth. The brownie-plushie is forgiving, and pats her esophagus forgivingly as it travels down to her belly. Kaoru-plushie then gets up, and proceeds to hug each chopped carrot piece, as she puts them back in the ice-box-plushie..

.....And Kenshin-plushie sighs, because the only thing worse than a Kaoru-plushie who can't cook, is a Kaoru-plushie who can't cook so bad, that she feels remorse for food she's chopped in half...

Sano-plushie walks in again, for he had to flee the scene of his pathetic pleads in an attempt to someone he despises, and laughs...

Yahiko-plushie walks in and stares at the other plushies sadly, for he has awoken too late to eat the fabled octopus sushi of Soujiro-plushie...but smiles again at the scent of brownies, and stares innocently at the brownies until Kenshin-plushie sighs and retrieves one for lazy, lazy Yahiko-plushie.

Hiko-plushie just then walks in, putting the finishing touches on his cape, fussing with its position on his shoulders, and then, being content, closes his eyes and twirls around showing the beauty and happiness a cape can give a plushie...

But then! Hiko-plushie stops in mid-twirl because he wonders why no-one gasps at him like they usually do...

AND HE SEES A HORRIBLE SIGHT!!

All the plushies are eating brownies and there in only one left for him!! Hiko-plushies worries inwardly how he will drink his sake without the aid of at least five of these delicious morsels, and, while walking up to get the last one before anyone else does, his hands feels a sharp ting of pain!

As if by reflex, Hiko-plushie draws a sword from under his beautiful cape, and slashes at the foe, only to realize that it was Soujiro-plushie's own sword with the brownie pieced through it, and he grows angry at this smaller plushie! Such NERVE to take away the last brownie from someone who vaguely helped in his redemption!

Soujiro-plushie's eyes widen at this fury of a forty-year-old-man..he shrinks back and in a desperate action of hope, breaks the brownie in two, and offers one half to Hiko-plushie...He smiles his most pathetic smile, the one that makes even the most well-cared for plushies look like unloved orphans.

Hiko-plushie looks for a moment and feels pity for the poor little once-Tenken..and he immediately pushes the piece back to Soujiro-plushie, and puts one arm around Soujiro-plushie's shoulders, thus showing that he has accepted Soujiro-plushie as a son-he-never-had...and while Soujiro-plushies sheds a fake outward tear of acceptance he inwardly cackles, for Hiko-plushie is the most athoritive looking figure in the world, and gets lots of stuff done for him..

AND THUS!

Harusame-plushie swells with pride, for it was she who taught Soujiro-plushie that look...

Kenshin-plushie sheds a tear, for Hiko-plushie never showed him such fatherly love...

Kaoru-plushie is too busy telling the carrot-pieces a bed-time story to notice...

And Sano-plushie quickly sketches the look, so that he may use it when he goes to the Akabeko to eat, perhaps this look will get him free food...

Yahiko-plushie rolls his eyes, and stuffs the rest of his brownie into his mouth...

Hiko-plushie shrugs them off, and tells his new-found son a secret to Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu..........and to never drink and drive...

The End!

Remember....Never trust dice!