The un-censored Stories of Rurouni Plushies

Two: How to freely express murderous thoughts through body-language..

Kagi's Note: Okay, because I wrote these three first chapters(yes there is another one after this) at the same time basically, I didn't get any feedback that they suck, so!! I think the ideas are funny, but the Writing and Grammar seem a little off sometimes, so sometimes I think they suck as I'm editing them , but they really don't, right?(pathetic orphan-smile)

Start

It was a kinda rainy day, and all the plushies were sitting around in boredom, reading, writing, sleeping, ect. ect.

JUST THEN! Soujiro-plushie jumps down and walks around in circles, slashing his Kikuichimonji-norimune-plushie-sword in the air..Getting another evil idea, Soujiro plushie stares intently at the other plushies...

SUDDENLY! He sees Saitou-plushie smoking..Soujiro-plushie gasps, rasing his hands to his mouth in shock and smacks the cigarette out of Saitou plushie's mouth. Soujiro plushie then proceeds to scold Saitou plushie, giving him the 'shame-fingers', in which he brushes one index finger with the other, and shows him an educational slide-show, full of facts about how Cigarettes have aided in mass loss of money, poor respiratory health, and numerous deaths of innocent brownies. Saitou plushie gives him a 'what-the-heck' look...thus causing Hiko-plushie, who was drinking sake-plushie, to laugh hysterically at this face, thus causing sake to spurt out of his nose.

OH NO!!

A sake-plushie-drop lands on Sano-plushie's shoe, and Sano plushie gives the sake-plushie-drop a 'what-the-heck' look. He then glares at Hiko-plushie, but Hiko-plushie chuckles and points to Saitou-plushie. Sano-plushie glares and punches his fists together in a "I'm gonna kick your arse" way, because not only is Saitou-plushie his nemesis, but he also interrupted Sano-plushie's poety writing, which is hard enough to write already.

Sano-plushie walks up to Saitou-plushie, and taps him on the shoulder. Saitou-plushie turns his boredom from Soujiro-plushie's goody-two-shoes-no-smoke-lecture to sense who touched him. Saitou-plushie realizes who it is, smirks, and is blissfully content to let his reflexes go ahead and punch Sano-plushie in the face next time he taps him. Which he does..Ouch..

Sano-plushie recoils at the force of the blow, steadies himself, spits, and wipes plushie-blood from the corner of his mouth. His face darkens with dispise and his dagger-like-glare burns and flares, searing into Saitou-plushie's back, demanding Saitou-plushie's attention and apology. Saitou-plushie smirks and sideglances at Sano-plushie, who now charges with fist enclosed, to return the blow. Saitou-plushie turns to face him in time to catch the fist, and crush the knuckles, still smirking at Sano-plushie's suprised and widened eyes.

SO NOW YOU PROBABLY SENSE AN EPIC BATTLE OF COOL-ARROGANCE-VERSUS-NOBLE-AND-AWESOME-POWER!!

Sano-plushie steps back, trashing around to tear his fist from Saitou-plushie's grasp. He frees himself and shakes his hand around, flexing the fingers to see if they still move. He then glares at Saitou-plushie and charges with both fists clenched and hits Saitou-plushie in the stomach and chest, causing Saitou-plushie to fly backwards into the wall next to Soujiro-plushie.

Soujiro-plushie's mouth drops at the trouble he indirectly caused, and runs to Kenshin-plushie, shaking him awake. Kenshin-plushie sleepily glances at Soujiro-plushie, listening to his harried voice. Soujiro-plushie sees none of his words are reaching Kenshin-plushie, and he then grabs Kenshin-plushie's head and turns it in the direction of the fight. Kenshin looks through half-lidded eyes and sees the fight. Instantly he asseses the situation and gets up, nodding to Soujiro-plushie. Soujiro-plushie sees this, and sighs of relief. Kenshin-plushie steps over Saitou-plushie's crouched and angered figure, and cooly walks into the kitchen. Soujiro-plushie proceeds to wake the others, and they in turn watch the fight with growing fear and interest.

Soujiro-plushie stands near the couch, and waits impatiently for Kenshin-plushie to come back. Kenshin-plushie then arrives, carrying a hefty box of popcorn, and some smaller bowls. He then offers the others bowls of pocorn, and retires to the couch to watch this Epic Fight like a movie, because y'know, he was bored.. Soujiro-plushie is frustrated with Kenshin-plushie's non-chalant attitude toward this fight, and gives up wondering why he didn't stop it. Soujiro-plushie gives an exasperated sigh, and sits back down on the couch next to Kenshin-plushie, and eats the popcorn.

The EPIC FIGHT ensues, with many punches and kicks, and also some more crashes into the wall..with the every now-and-then gasp, or grimace from the audience, Kenshin-plushie then looks to Soujiro-plushie, and they both nod in agreement. A fight like this should definetely have a bet on it!

AND SO! Soujiro-plushie bets three dollar-plushies that Saitou-plushie will win, and Kenshin-plushie bets three dollar-plushies that Sano-plushie will win. And they shook on it, and everything was pretty good. Except from the fighters point of view, of course.

Saitou-plushie was now, officially, and finally, angered..Sano-plushie was like one of those stupid bugs you step on and step on, but they never seem to die, they always pop up when you think they're dead an' then they scare the heck outta you..Saitou-plushie wasn't scared though, he was annoyed. He was very annoyed. In fact, Saitou-plushie was so annoyed, that if he baked a pie with his feelings, and you ate it, it'd kill you with all the bad karma it had. That's how annoyed he was. Sano-plushie, on the other hand, was feeling more powerful and invincible with each mind-numbing punch. Maybe that was why... But anyways, if he baked a pie with his feelings, it'd be flexing it's muscles all the way down your esophagus, and, if you were REALLY unlucky, it accidentally clog your throat.

After many punches, the internal bleeding finally got to Sano-plushie, and Saitou-plushie was able to pin him down! Now was the time for a really cool finishing move. Saitou-plushie felt accomplished, and smirked coldly in Sano-plushie's face, relishing the moment.

Sano-plushie had realized he was on the losing end of the battle about when he couldn't move his left hand, but for some strange and inexplicable reason, he had chosen to keep on fighting. That is, until Saitou-plushie pinned him down and smirked in his face. Sano-plushie was then enraged, and he shot another dagger-glare at Saitou-plushie. Saitou-plushie's head recoiled, that was one mean look! And a look so mean should ALWAYS be sliced in half and fed to a meaner look, and Saitou-plushie was not one to back down. SO THUS! Glares and smriks reeled back and forth in this silent battle of mean looks.

Soujiro-plushie was bored again. All these cocky plushies seemed to be doing was intimidating the other with mean looks. He then nudged Kenshin-plushie, and they both agreed to cheer them on with chants of 'Fight!Fight!Fight!' like this EPIC BATTLE was some sort of school brawl. But I guess it worked, because SANO-PLUSHIE THREW SAITOU-PLUSHIE OFF HIM AND THEY BEGAN TO CIRCLE EACH OTHER!!!

Sano-plushie decided to quit stalling, and threw a punch at Saitou-plushie, who dodged with ease and kicked him down. Sano-plushie fell to the floor, and rolled aside to kick Saitou-plushie's ankles, which caused him to fall down too. Saitou-plushie saw he was in trouble, and was sorry he didn't break Sano-plushie's legs as well as his left hand. But it was too late for regrets. Sano-plushie had Saitou-plushie pinned down and was staring at him with a triumphant, yet hateful, glare. He proceeded to raise his right hand, and was prepared to smash it in Saitou-plushie's smirky face WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN-----!!

Saitou-plushie screamed. He screamed just like Kaoru-plushie. It was weird, BUT--!!It was not because he was afraid, of course, I mean, since when does Saitou-plushie become fearful?! Never, that's when. He had a plan, and of course, it worked. Sano-plushie shrunk back in suprise at this scream, which gave Saitou-plushie enough time to turn the tables, and pin Sano-plushie down and he proceeded to raise his fist like Sano-plushie had earlier, and he smirked, happy to deliver the final blow.

Sano-plushie saw this was the end, and he cringed, ready for his extra-violent, yet malnourishing face-punch. He was just wondering who would stitch his wounds(He hoped it was not Megumi-plushie) and how much it would cost to have eye-transplants, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN----!!

A growl emitted from Saitou-plushie. It was not a wolf-growl either. It was a stomach growl, that warns you that the stomach is hungry, and if you don't feed it plushie-food soon, it will eat you. An eerie silence followed this growl, and Saitou-plushie got up in the midst, kicked Sano-plushie in his plushie-ribs, and walked away.

Saitou-plushie then went into the kitchen, and made more popcorn.

Sano-plushie got up, regardless of his wounds, and managed to flip Saitou-plushie off, before he collapsed on Saitou-plushie's popcorn, bleeding over it so Saitou-plushie would starve some more.

Saitou-plushie cringed, and gave him a 'what-the-heck' look, and walked away again. Megumi-plushie rushed in, and began to treat Sano-plushie for 200 yen per hour, which Kaoru-plushie would have to pay..... Kenshin-plushie and Soujiro-plushie stalked away, as if they had just seen a bad movie, and sighed. That was because their bet was cancelled, the fight never finished, BUT NEXT TIME!! They would make sure that both fighters were full and content.

The End!!

Remember...never do the 'what-the-heck' look in front of Hiko-plushie while he's drinking Sake-plushie.