The uncensored Stories of Rurouni Plushie, #3
Christmas Special!
Beginning Note: Uhh..it's a Christmas Special.. Because I'm reaaally bored before Christmas. But I'm putting it here after Christmas, so did you really havta know that? Probably not.. Once upon a time, in a faraway, made-up land, there was a city. This city was called Whoville-I MEAN-Little-Plusie-Tokyo...sweatdrop Little-Plushie-Tokyo was fairly large for a plushie-city, for it was a plushie-parody of a big city that resides in the wonderful country of Japan. Yes, and in Little-Plushie-Tokyo, there lived some plushies. But not just ANY plushies. Why would I write about just ANY plushies? No, they were plushies that had two good things going for them; One, they were fashioned after the OH-SO-EPIC Rurouni Kenshin characters, who are SO good for the soul, if you baked a pie with them(Kami-sama forbid) and ate it before you died, you'd go to Heaven for sure. There was also one made-up-one that was not-so-epic-but-still-good-for-the-soul....Two, they were ALSO special plushies because they celebrated Christmas, not with Holiday Attire(as is usual for normal plushies), but they celebrated it with a whole little play, full of comfortably random scenes.
Soujiro-plushie was nervous..oh-so-nervous. He thought this play rocked..it was such an well-loved storyline...He thought his part was scary..it was such an embarassing part..he thought bad things about Christmas-time..
..BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN! He changed his mind, because he somehow knew that Santa Claus-plushie was watching...
How did he know? Well, it was obvious...Santa Claus-plushie was sitting in the front row and staring cynically at the stage....
Soujiro-plushie shivered at this "Jolly" old plushie-man's look, that cyncial, distrusting look he had not seen once since this morning when Harusame-plushie glared at the Hiko-plushie for handing her a tasty-looking breakfast..
Harusame plushie was annoyed...oh-so-annoyed. She thought this play sucked..it was such an over-used storyline..She thought her part sucked..it was such a small part..she stared cruelly at the audience from behind a curtain...
..BUT ALL OF THE SUDDEN! She saw Kenshin-plushie and smiled, because she knew she had to make him happy...
Why did she have to make him happy? Well, it was obvious..Kenshin-plushie was giving her the paycheck...
Harusame-plushie shot daggers at his back when he turned to go out and greet the audience...
Kenshin-plushie was happy..oh-so-happy. He thought his play would go well..it taught such a valuable lesson..he thought his part rocked..he was so used to playing this part in people's lives...he greeted the audience warmly, and noticed the Santa Claus-plushie man in the front row...
How did he notice? Well, it was obvious..this is Kenshin-plushie for Kenshin-plushie's sake!
Kenshin-plushie studied this jolly man's aura and left the stage to open the curtains....
The curtains-plushies opened to a stage, that resembled Santa's workshop-plushie...but the names will not have plushie after them for quicker typing reasons that will remain unknown..
Actor-who-plays-Santa: Hohoho...make more toys elves!
Actors-who-play-elves: Yes Santa..all bow to Santa..we obey Santa..
Actor-who-plays-Santa: Chief Elf! I command thee to tell me the toy report!
Actor-who-plays-ChiefElf:(voice strangely like Soujiro's) uhh...all good Santa-sama..
Actor-who-plays-Santa: Fufuf-HOHOHO! And the reindeer?
Soujiro-who-play-CheifElf: (sigh) all good Santa-sama..
Actor-who-plays-Santa: Good..now nothing will stop me from taking over Japa-I MEAN HOHOHO!!Good..now nothing will stop me from giving toys to those good little children..
Soujiro-who-plays-ChiefElf: Except the weather..
Actor-who-plays-Santa: MUAHAHA-WHAT?!?..uh I mean Hohoho-what..of course..
Soujiro-who-plays-CheifElf: The weather is being controlled by an evil diety...you can't fly in that weather, your good-ness will be shredded to pieces..
Actor-who-plays-Santa: IT WASN'T ME!!O.o..uhh OH NO!! Now those sweet little kids will have nothing to reward their disgustingly good behavior!
Soujiro-who-plays-CheifElf: It gets worse! Someone broke your leg!
Actor-who-plays-Santa: (looks down) HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED THAT?!?! I CANNOT BELIEVE I DID NOT FEEL A KATANA SLASHING THROUGH MY WOODEN-STAGE-LEG-plushie THAT MAKES ME TALLER!
Soujiro-who-plays-ChiefElf: (fake sob) Those children! If only there were someone who could slay the evil and deliver those presents! WHAT WILL WE DO SANTA!?(shakes Santa-actor)WHAT-----WILL------WE -------DO!?!?
(CRASH THROUGH THE WALL!!)
????: I can deliver those presents! And I can supplement the death of evil with a REALLY stern lecture!
Audience:(claps)
????: (blush) Now, now, is there really need to clap and further upstage these characters?
Audience: (claps more)
????: Aww..I love you guys..NOW! BACK TO ACTING!
Actor-who-plays-Santa: And who might you be, you sick, sick goody-two-shoes?O.o I mean, you wonderful man..Hohoho..
Soujiro-who-play-CheifElf: (squeaky elf-voice) WE ARE SAVED!!(looks at Kenshin-plushie, who gives hima secret thumbs-up, which means his paycheck has been raised)
Actor-who-plays-Santa: You sicko..ERR!!HOHOHO!! What will you do about the presents?
Kenshin-who-plays-Kenshin: I will use your sleigh to ride around and do your job!
Soujiro-who-plays-CheifElf: (more squeaky voice) What will you do about the evil diety?
Kenshin-who-plays-Kenshin: Raise your paycheck!O.oI MEAN! EASY! I know who the deity is so I can solve this quickly!
Soujiro-who-plays-CheifElf: Who?
Kenshin-who-plays-Kenshin: IT'S HIM!!(Points to actor-who-plays Santa) THAT MAN IS REALLY SHISHIO-PLUSHIE! HE HAS COME TO RUIN CHRISTMAS!!
Shishio-who-played-Santa: (tears off Santa-suit to reveal his true bandaged-form) YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!(grabs onto hanging garland and swings around room) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Kenshin-who-plays-Kenshin: NOT SO FAST SHISHIO!!(grabs another hanging garland and swings around, following Shishio)
THE EPIC BATTLE OF GOOD VS. EVIL HAS BEGUN!!
(The plushies swing around, never gaining or losing distance, and, seeing this dilemma, Kenshin-plushie runs faster, closing the distance.dun dun DUN
Shishio-plushie sees this, and jumps down and grabs a Katana hidden in his Santa-suit on the floor. The Audience gasps! Kenshin-plushie also jumps down and grabs his Sakabatou..
Their Katanas clash with dramatic sound effects and they glare intently at one another)
ONLY TO BE INTERRUPTED!!
Actor-who-plays-Mrs.Claus: (runs into room horrified) NOOO!! I WAS IN LOVE WITH A FRAUD!?!(runs toward them and trips on skirts. She falls to the floor and sobs uncontrollably) I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS LIED TOOOOOO!!!!!(sob)
Everyone: (stares)
Actor-who-plays-CynicalElf: pfh.. What a baby..
Soujiro-who-plays-CheifElf: (pats Mrs.Claus' shoulder) There there ma'am, I'm sure he's just going through a mid-life crisis, and will be back before noon...
Harusame-who-obviously-plays-CynicalElf: It's already one "Chief"...
Soujiro-who-plays-ChiefElf: Oops..
Actor-who-plays-Mrs.Claus: (sob more)
Soujiro-who-plays-Chief-elf: O.o..listen..it's just a play..you don't need to REALLY cry...right?
Actor-who-plays-Mrs.Claus: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?!(sobs)
Harusame-who-plays-cynicalelf: (rolls eyes) Oh now, this is getting ridiculous...
Actor-who-plays-Mrs.Claus: (turns to Haru-elf) HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!?!?I loved Santa and this is not Santa!Do you know what that feels like?!?cries
Harusame-who-plays-cynicalelf: No, no I don't know what that feels like...how could I? Mrs.Claus, I just make the toys...I have a purpose in life..make your own you baby..pfh
Actor-who-plays-Mrs.Claus: You are right..I WILL MAKE A PURPOSE!!I WILL!!(stands up) GRAR!! I'M GONNA BEAT THE EVIL OUTTA THIS IMPOSTER!!!approaches Shishio Say your prayers you jolly sicko...
Shishio-who-now-plays-Shishio: O.o
Kenshin-who-plays-Kenshin: HEY WAIT! THAT'S MY JOB!!
Shishio-who-now-plays-Shishio: N-now Yumi, you DO know that this is a play...?
Yumi-who-plays-Mrs.Claus: Be quiet...(rasies fist)
Soujiro-who-plays-CheifElf: OH NO! I HATE THIS PLAY!
Kenshin-who-plays-Kenshin: YOU DUMB GIRL! THAT'S MY LINE!
Harusame-who-plays-cyncialelf: pfh I told you this storyline would never work...
Shishio-who-now-plays-Shishio: GREAT! STUPID BATTOUSAI RESURRECTED ME AND YUMI SO I COULD DIE AGAIN?!
Santa-plushie: HohoNO!! Stop this!!(climbs onto stage)
Soujiro-who-plays-Chiefelf: BACK OFF JOLLY-MAN!I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO COME BACK ANYWAYS!In order to save Shishio-san's life, you'll have to go through me..(grabs Candy cane-plushie)
Harusame-who-plays-cynicalelf: O.OWoah there Soujiro! At least let me go call Santa's insurance...
(violent plushie fight ensues with lots of candy canes, and children yelling and placing bets while the moms and dad-plushies look on horrified)
..............................fade out..................................
Harusame-plushie: And that's how none of us got Chrismtas Presents that year...
Yumi-plushie: Well,we weren't going to get any anyways..c'mon anata..
Shishio-plushie: (is severly bandaged(can anyone tell?)) I hate you all....BOOM DIAPPEAR INTO HECK
Soujiro-plushie: I can't believe I was so rude to Santa..(sigh)
Kenshin-plushie: I can't beleive I set such an example to the children...
Harusame-plushie: I can't believe you didn't let me call his insurance Soujiro..I could have repented for my rude comments with my false regards for his safety...
Kenshin-plushie: Suck-up..
Harusame-plushie: Invincible sicko...
Kenshin-plushie:....I'm invincible? AWESOME!
Harusame-plushie:(sigh)
Soujiro-plushie: Well, at least we have each other right? That's all Christmas is really about...right?
Harusame-plushie: Stop watching those over-rated sappy Christmas specials...
Soujiro-plushie: (pats Harusame-plushie's head) Oh now..where's your Christmas spirit Harusame-plushie?
Harusame-plushie: (menacing glare) Wherever my Christmas present is...
The END! So? How are they? Good I hope..yep..reply please..
