Dislaimer: I don't own anything from The OC, Josh Schwartz does. And I don't own any of the songs, Maroon 5 does. And I'm happy because of it⦠hehehe
Chapter 3 β Harder To Breathe
Ryan and Seth walked into Harbour High. Ryan listened to Seth talking. About Summer. Of course.
"... and I don't know how much longer I can keep it a secret." He sighed finishing his story.
Ryan nodded. Seth raised his eyebrow at him.
"You give me a nod?"
"I don't know what to say to you Seth. I think you're right. She shouldn't behave like that, like she doesn't know you, when you're together. But I can understand her too, this is all new. For both of you."
"It's not so new anymore. Two weeks passed since we came back from Tijuana."
"Maybe she just needs more time." Ryan shrugged. Seth sighed again shaking his head. Ryan spotted Marissa and Summer and smiled. "Hey!"
Seth turned around to look at the girls and smiled. Summer smiled quickly but looked away and he frowned.
"Hey Summer." He said flatly.
"Hey Cohen." She replied.
That's right, don't look at me. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing falling in love with you. Wait... you can't choose who you'll fall in love with. Damn Seth... it looks like you're stuck with a girl who doesn't want to be seen with you in public. But I can't help it... I still love her no matter what.
I know I'm hurting him. And it hurts. But I can't put my reputation behind just like that. I still don't know if he's worth it. I don't know anything... Everything is happening too fast and I'm so confused...
Marissa and Ryan felt the tension between their friends again. Since they came back from their trip it was always like this in public. But when there was just four of them it looked like Seth and Summer can't take their hands off of each other. In a times like that it was a real pleasure watching them. They were relaxed and happy, they were Seth and Summer, uncovered, putting away their masks and not pretending to be something they weren't. They were just Summer and Seth. And Marissa and Ryan were happy because of them.
"Hey what's up guys?" Marissa asked cheerfully.
"Nothing, you know... as usual." Ryan laughed a little bit kissing her lightly. Seth was looking at Summer.
"Have you heard about party?" Marissa asked again. Seth looked at her suddenly interested.
"No. What party?" he asked.
"That new guy Brian is throwing one on Friday." Marissa answered.
"Cool." Seth said smiling and glanced at Summer. She looked at him raising her eyebrow a little. "Right Sum?" he asked.
"Yeah, it's great." She turned to Marissa "We have to go to the mall later Coop."
"Of course." Marissa laughed.
"New guy in school equals new dress I guess." Seth said sarcastically.
"Exactly Cohen. We have to go, right Coop?" Summer answered looking at him and waited for Marissa.
"Yeah. See ya later." Marissa smiled and they walked away.
Seth sighed.
"See?"
"I see it without you telling me. Both Marissa and I do." Ryan answered. "I repeat β just give her time." He smiled patting him on the back and walked away as well.
"Time... I'm not so sure that's all she needs." Seth said quietly to himself.
How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle
You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to funkin' tread the ground that I'm walking on
"We've been talking about this so many times Cohen." Summer said standing up and getting dressed.
"I'm glad you noticed. I had a feeling you weren't listening." Seth said sarcastically sitting up in bed.
"And I thought you agreed to keep this a secret." Summer continued not paying attention to his comment.
"Yeah, well, that was before I realized what exactly that means. You barely look at me when we're not alone. That's just embarrassing."
"How can that be embarrassing when no one knows about it?" Seth gave her you're-kidding-me-right-look and she shook her head. "Ok, I got it, but you knew it's gonna be like that."
"No, actually, I didn't. And what's more important I didn't know it's gonna last for a long time. I don't even know when this 'situation' is gonna end."
"This 'situation' as you call it will last as long as I need. I'm not ready Cohen. Not yet." She said thinking about how harsh that must've sounded.
"What about me? Do I even exist in this relationship? Is there a relationship here anyway?" he was getting really annoying. "And what do you have to be ready for? Dating emo geek like Seth Cohen? I didn't know it's so hard to admit you like me." He said angrily getting up as well.
She looked at him not knowing what to say but feeling he's absolutely right.
"You know that's not true." She whispered.
"Do I? I really don't know Summer. Everything you do makes me think it is. And it hurts so bad." He said calming down. Now he looked just sad. Really sad.
She swallowed trying to suppress her tears threatening to fall. It hurt her too. She came closer to him and hugged him.
"I'm sorry." She whispered into his chest.
He pushed her away slightly.
"I don't think sorry is enough, Sum." He said taking his shirt and walking towards the door. "I just hope you'll realize it before it's too late." He added and walked out of the door leaving her staring at it and letting her tears fall freely now.
What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to what I've said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Seth was looking at Summer dancing with some random guy for some time now. Ryan was standing beside him looking for Marissa.
"I can't believe she's dancing with that... jock." Seth said rolling his eyes.
"I can't believe you actually sound and look like Summer. I wonder when you'll start saying eww and..." Ryan started.
"Whatev." Seth said nervously.
"Well, I guess I didn't have to wait for a long time." Ryan sighed taking a sip of his drink.
"I bet she's doing this just to make me jealous." Seth said trying to look away, but it wasn't so easy. "But she haven't met me yet." He smiled thinking about something.
"Seth. What are you gonna do?" Ryan asked a little bit scared of what can going on in Seth's head and a little bit more scared of Summer's reaction to whatever Seth was planning to do.
"Oooh... just watch me." Seth said and walked to the bar taking a drink. Then he walked to some beautiful girl and started talking to her. He clearly was in a typical Seth-mood, cause it didn't take long for girl to start laughing.
Summer was still talking to the guy. She didn't even know his name, it didn't matter as long as Seth was watching them. Glancing at the spot Seth was standing five minutes ago she noticed that he wasn't there. She looked around and saw him talking to a girl.Who's that slut?She thought still looking at them. Seth came closer to the girl and whispered something into her ear causing her laugh and Summer felt the anger rise inside of her. The guy said something and she looked away back at him. He was cute and seemed nice and she hated doing this, but she had to. Giving him a big smile she leaned in and kissed him. It felt so wrong and all she thought about was Cohen, but she pulled the guy closer hoping that Seth is looking.
Seth knew Summer is watching, so he leaned in to whisper something incredibly witty to the girl. She clearly enjoyed it. He glanced at Summer and swallowed hard when he saw her making out with that guy. Huh? What the... I can't believe this... Well, if you can do it, I can too.He turned back to the girl lifting his hand and touched her cheek looking at her eyes. Then he came closer and kissed her. She tasted nothing like Summer and he only hoped that this was worth it.
Summer broke the kiss and smiled looking in Seth's direction. Smile quickly faded away and was replaced with a rage-blackout-is-about-to-come expression. The next moment she knew she left the confused guy and was standing in front of Seth and 'slut'.
"Cohen!" she yelled causing him breaking the kiss and jump a little. She gave him a death glare and looked at the girl.
You little bitch... And I thought Cohen has a better taste.
Seth looked at her and smiled.
"Hello Summer." He said giving her a mixture of what-do-you-say-now and I'm-not-afraid-of-your-rage-blackout look. She gave him a fake smile.
"We have to talk. Now."
"Excuse me, we were talking here." The girl decided to step into the conversation.
Summer looked at her.
"Excuse ME, but I don't think you have the right to tell me when to talk to my..." she suddenly paused.My... boyfriend... why is that so hard to say?
Seth looked at her shaking his head. Smile disappeared from his face a while ago. He looked hurt. Again.
"What Summer? What am I to you?" he asked watching her look at him for a second not knowing what to say.
"Never mind." She whispered and ran out of the room.
"That's what I thought." He whispered to himself, but he stood up and walked out of the room to find her.
She was in the bathroom when he knocked on the door and walked in.
"What are you doing here?" she looked at him.
"Well, I needed to go to bathroom and I needed to talk to you... so... although I don't think this is the best place for talking." He tried to be sarcastic, but it wasn't working so good.
"How could you?" she asked in a small voice.
"What? Kiss her? I could ask you the same question." He replied getting angry.
"This is ridiculous.'' She shook her head.
"You know what's ridiculous? The fact that when I think I mean something to you, you come and just deny it. I am ridiculous."
"You think that you don't mean anything to me?" she laughed. "That's ridiculous."
"If it is then what am I to you? Cause I don't get that part really well and I clearly need to be told."
"You're..." she swallowed not knowing what to say.
"Come on Sum. You can't even say it." He looked away from her and turned to go out.
"My boyfriend." She whispered quietly, but he was already gone.
Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control
Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold
I don't wanna give up. I love her. But she's making this so hard. She's not ready, she doesn't like me enough, maybe she doesn't even deserve me... No, that's impossible. She's perfect and yeah, I'm just emo geek. But I love her, doesn't that count. And I understand her and I would do anything for her. Now I need time to think. But I'm not giving up.
I don't wanna give up. I don't know why I like him so much, but I do. He's everything I want and I know I have to say that to the whole world. I'm just such a coward. Sometimes I think I don't deserve him. And it's probably right. I don't know what makes him like me so much. But I guess that makes him amazing. And that makes me amazing too. I love him for that. I really do. Maybe I need more time and maybe I don't. I don't know. I'm so confused. I think the only thing I'm not confused about is that I'm not gonna let him slip out of my hands. I know that there's no way I'm gonna give up.
When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
is there anyone out there cuz its gettin harder and harder to breathe
A/N β Hey guys! Wow... I updated so soon... I'm good... hehehe... Keep reading and keep reviewing...
