"You are pathetic… after all this time, you still can't figure it out. It's been obvious, even from that first time we met. Do you remember that night? I let my fingers intertwine with yours, I kissed you. I don't kiss, I fuck. And when I had to tell you that we had nothing, that you meant nothing to me… my heart broke as I watched you drive away. For the first time in my life, I felt like shit for hurting someone. I hated lying to you… but I had to try and push you away so I wouldn't hurt you even more later. You were persistent, though. I suppose it did pay off… I at least keep you around instead of pushing you away. That right there should show how much I care.
"Oh god, and then your prom night… I can't believe I actually went. But a little part inside of me was trying to tell you how much I adored you. We danced; we gave every one of those fuckers a night they will never forget. I kissed you there… in front of them. The look on their faces… it was priceless. I knew it meant so much to you, and even though I don't admit it, that night was also the best of my life. Heh… 'Even if it was ridiculously romantic.' After I got into my car, I watched you walk off, and your happiness was just radiating. A small smile crossed my face, and I knew in that exact moment that … that I….," Brian sighed and continued. "And then… he was behind you. At first, I was confused, I felt as if I didn't know what was going on. Why was he there? Behind you, with a baseball bat… by the time I screamed your name it was too late. I still to this day feel it is my fault that happened to you…" Brian whispered, leaning over Justin's sleeping form. He ran his fingers through his lover's blonde strands lovingly, hoping one day Justin would figure it out, hoping he would never leave him.
"Don't…" Brian's voice cracked slightly, and he tried speaking again. "Don't ever, ever think I don't love you…" His eyes studied Justin's soft features as a tear rolled down his cheek. Brian laid down, hand over Justin's, and closed his eyes.
"Because I do love you." Justin's heartbeat quickened as he feigned sleep. He desperately wanted to hold Brian, but he knew Brian wasn't ready to admit all of those things to an awake Justin… so for now, confessions like this would have to do.
