Ukon: Married Women
Ukon has a very unorthodox habit.
He really can't help it. It's just the way he is.
You see, Ukon likes married women.
It's not that he wants to cause problems, because he doesn't. Even Ukon doesn't even really know why he prefers his girls wedded. He thinks it's somewhere along the lines that since he never really wants to have a family outside of his brother, and since matched ladies are virtually off limits, he feels pretty safely out of the marriageable range.
One time, Ukon had a married girl subtly cheat on her husband to the point that she threatened Ukon with divorce between her and her other man.
You can probably tell that it was about this time that Ukon broke up with her. Sure, she stalked him for a week or two, but it was nothing a good kunai to the head couldn't handle.
He never attended her funeral the recent widower had been talking about thinking that his better half had been seeing someone. The one time that Ukon visited her grave, however, he met the lady's husband there. "She was your wife?" he asked. "Of course," the other man replied bitterly, "She was everyone's wife."
Curious? Let us follow Ukon on one such gander, then.
"Hey, what's a pretty vixen like you doing in a bar?" Ukon flirted shamelessly with the middle-aged woman beside him. She turned to him and questioned, "Do you really think I'm pretty? My husband says I need a makeover. Well, since you asked, my two-year-old is tearing up the house in his thirst for knowledge." She was subtly trying to ward Ukon off with talk of her family, but little did this particular lady know that these were the words Ukon was hoping to hear. "You have a child? I was thinking that you had to be at most 20," he said smoothly. The lady smiled faintly. "I have a daughter two years older than my son, and twins just turned thirteen," she replied. Ukon raised his eyebrows. "All these children at 25?" he asked, and the older girl laughed. "No, I'm 43," she said. Ukon laughed with her while switching her drink with a more potent alchohol. 'Get drunk already!' he thought, and as if one cue the woman downed the whole glass and poured herself more. 'Excellent,' he thought.
They talked late into the night, then arranged to meet again the next Saturday.
It only took ten more Saturdays to convince this woman, whom I shall name Amelia, that Ukon was the new person she wanted to spend her life with. Not that Ukon had spent this time with just Amelia. What she didn't know was that Saturday was Ukon's only open day he was meeting other girls on all the other days of the week.
"Ukon, I really like you, and if you feel the same, then I'll get divorced and we can get married," Amelia said on the eleventh weekend. Ukon's eyes widened. Little did she know that these were the words Ukon was hoping not to hear. "I'msorryIdon'tfeelthesameseeyouagainmaybeprobablynotbye," he said and ran off.
Back at home, Ukon slammed the door and slid down to the floor. "You're home early," he heard Sakon call. "Yeah, the chick all but handed me a ring," he sighed. "Too bad," Sakon sympathized. Ukon got up and sat by Sakon, watching him. "Sakon, how can I make the girls like me but not give up their husbands for me?" he asked. "I dunno," Sakon stated as he removed the makeup that hid the rings around his eyes. After all, who wears makeup to bed? "Do I /look/ like I have girls all over me?" he continued as he stripped of his robe, which gave Ukon an idea. "Sakon, I'm not done my adventures for the night yet," he announced as he headed downstairs, back out the door and down the road to the convent.
