Sakon: Coffee Break

Sakon usually gets to bed at a reasonable time.

One night, though, he didn't.

Little did he know, this night would change his life.

The next morning, Sakon woke up at 7:30, like he usually does. However, he hadn't gotten to sleep until well after 3:00 AM, and since Ukon had deliberately moved Sakon's alarm clock across the room because he was tired of hearing it hit the wall every morning, Sakon had no choice but to wake up. He sat up in bed and groaned. "Ohh, I don't wanna wake up. Just 10 more minutes," he pleaded, but since there was no one there to grant him permission to sleep for 10 more minutes, he had to get out of his bed and turn off the alarm clock. Then he resigned himself to the world of the living and dragged himself off to his bathroom.

Yes, Sakon and Ukon have their own bathrooms. They couldn't agree on filling the extra space with either a tub big enough to fit a man and a woman in it (Ukon's idea) or getting extra shelves (Sakon's idea), so they just designed their own bathrooms. But, back to the story.

Sakon looked at his reflection in the mirror and moaned. His hair was frizzy, he had dark spots under his eyes and his skin was pale. Sighing, he ran his brush through his hair, then expertly applied his makeup to hide any signs of bleariness. With that done, he put his bathrobe over his nude body and trudged off to the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Sakon created some Fruit Loops and sat at the table, drinking them slowly. Yes, drinking them. That's how tired he was. Anyways, he looked lazily around only to spy an unused piece of equipment lying on the counter. 'What is it?' he wondered, and so he went over to it and read the tag on it. It read, "Coffee Maker." Intriuged, Sakon followed the instructions on the machine to make himself a batch, then poured himself a cup of the 'coffee.' He was surprised to find that he suddenly felt more awake and aware. He smiled. Sakon liked this coffee stuff. It made last night's party seem like it had been from 10:00 PM to 11:00 PM, instead of from 11:00 PM to 3:00 AM.

So the next day, he drank two cups.

The day after that, he took four cups.

The day following the last he drank eight cups.

After that, sixteen.

Then thirty-two. (After the first twenty, he had to take a small bathroom break.)

Sakon had downed sixty-three cups before Ukon noticed. "Hey Sakon, what's with the coffee?" he asked. "Nothing's happening. I just like coffee. That's it, that's all," Sakon said as he slammed his sixty-fourth and last cup of coffee for the day onto the table, but with so much coffee-induced gusto that the cup shattered. "Crud," he said as he scooped the glass carelessly into his hand and put it in the garbage. Ukon raised his eyebrows, but said nothing.

Later that day, Orochimaru said that since he had to oversee Kabuto installing a new phone, training today was going to have a fifteen-minute pause that the working class liked to call the 'Coffee Break.' Upon hearing this, Sakon cheered and hopped up and down in a little circle, singing, "Yay! Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee!" before pulling out a Thermos full of the stuff and downing it in one gulp. The reaction to this was everyone staring at him with the exception of Ukon who just put his head in his hands and sighed. When Sakon noticed the others, he simply put the empty Thermos back into his bag and said flatly, "Don't judge me."