Chapter Twenty
"Shawn? Shawn, wake up!"
Shawn smothered a groan in his pillow at the sound of Mimi's voice rousing him from his sleeping state. He had hidden away in his old room in Rex's loft for most of the morning and afternoon, since he had had such a hard time getting to sleep the night before. After his first night working at Unzipped, he had gotten too worked up to get a good night's sleep. Phillip had gotten him so angry he couldn't even think about sleep, all he could think about was getting back at Phillip for trying to make Jan forget about him.
He could still see the triumphant look in Phillip's eyes as he pulled Jan onto the dance floor with him while Shawn was performing on stage. It had been Shawn's first time up there and he had wanted Jan to be completely focused on him, but no, Phillip had to be a selfish bastard and steal her attention away. Phillip was so going down. But not today because Shawn wanted to stay in bed and avoid everyone. He had overheard Phillip and Jan talking later that night at the club and knew they had made plans to get Phillip moved out of Belle's loft today. Shawn didn't want to have to see Phillip pulling his stuff out of Shawn's ex-girlfriend's loft, only to move in with Shawn's would-be girlfriend.
"Go away, Mimi," Shawn grumbled, pulling his head up from the pillow, "Didn't I tell you and Rex that I didn't want to be bothered right now?"
"I'm sorry, Shawn," Mimi responded but something in her voice made Shawn tilt his head up so he was looking at her. Mimi's eyes were sparkling with laughter and as soon as Shawn met her eyes, it was like a damn burst. She burst out laughing and seemed unable to say anything else.
"Are you going to tell me what you're doing in here anytime soon?" Shawn demanded, highly annoyed. Mimi only laughed harder, holding her sides. Finally, she stopped for a few seconds and took a few deep breaths.
"You have a-," another wave of laughter hit Mimi before she could continue, "You have a- oh dear God, I can't breathe."
"What do I have, Mimi?" Shawn shoved his long dark hair out of his eyes irritably.
"You have a singing telegram!" Mimi blurted out, steadying herself against the wall as she convulsed with laughter. Shawn stared at her in confusion but then he heard it. Someone outside his bedroom, belting out the word's to that awful Britney Spears song, Hit Me Baby One More Time.
"Who the hell would send me something like this?" Shawn asked rhetorically, then pressed his face back into the pillow, "I'm not going out there."
Mimi stopped laughing and went over to Shawn. Yanking on his arm, she tugged him out of the bed, "You have to go see. Please? This guy, I mean, um, girl, is great."
Grumbling, Shawn stood up and stumbled out the door to his bedroom. Once in the front room of the loft, Shawn rubbed his sleep-blurred eyes, then his mouth dropped open at the sight of the singer. Rex was standing next to the door to the loft, still watching the singer and it appeared that his jaw had come completely unhinged. The singer did a full twirl and her short skirt flared out barring her legs. She kept singing as Shawn and Rex continued to gawk at her. She finally finished her little song, to Shawn's relief, but his relief was short-lived when the singer pranced with up to him and gave him a big, long, wet kiss. When she pulled away, she gave him a big smile.
"Okay, sexy man, I'm supposed to tell you that was from Phillip and Lucas," she told him, "Oh, and this is yours," she handed him a folded sheet of paper, then started towards the door. But on the way there, something fell out of her shirt. She bent over to pick it up and, not even caring that there were three other people watching her, stuffed it back down her shirt. Mimi seemed to realize what was going on first and fell victim to another fit of helpless giggles. Then it sunk in for Shawn that this lovely singer was definitely not a 'she'. He sputtered angrily, wiping at his mouth in a frantic movement.
"You-you- I can't believe- Oh, God, ew- Get the hell out!" Shawn yelled, finally able to form a full sentence, wiping at his mouth in horror. Rex just continued to gape as the male Britney impersonator, who gave him a smile in return.
"Don't look so shocked, sweetie," he told Rex, still keeping the same feminine voice as he walked over to the doorway the loft. Before leaving, he reached behind Rex and gave his ass a little squeeze. That seemed to snap Rex out of his shocked state and like Shawn, he turned into a sputtering mess. Mimi laughed even harder as Rex and Shawn tried to recover from what had just happened.
"Mimi, how can you laugh?" Rex asked, "Did you see what she just did to me?"
"What he did to you," Mimi corrected him, trying to keep a straight face, "But come on, give Phillip and Lucas some credit. That was pure genius. I can't believe I didn't see it before. He was so tall and he had that Adam's Apple-"
"Be quiet!" Rex roared, "It's not funny!"
"But it is," Mimi hiccupped, "He- he- he grabbed your ass! And he kissed Shawn."
Shawn drowned out Mimi's unrelenting laughter and unfolded the piece of paper. His face grew hotter with each word he read.
Shawn,
Lucas and I figured that, since Jan's never going to get together with you now that she has me, we'd get you a replacement. Only one catch- we figured you'd be better suited to a boyfriend. Enjoy because it's probably the best you can do.
-Phillip
After ripping the paper into minuscule pieces, Shawn flung it on the ground and kicked the side of the couch, too angry to remember he was in his bare feet. Wincing, he hopped backwards and swore under his breath.
"Those jerks are going to pay for this," Shawn growled, his voice filled with resolve, "I am going to kill them."
"And I'll help," Rex volunteered, still thrown from having a cross-dressing man grope him.
"Tonight at the club... ooh, they're going to get it so bad," Shawn promised, pacing around the apartment. Mimi finally stopped laughing, her head beginning to throb from laughing so hard.
"Well, all I can say is, I'm glad I'm the club's water-girl," she murmured, more to herself than Rex and Shawn, "Because it looks like I'm going to get front row seats for the fireworks tonight."
Lucas, Phillip and Sami met up with 'Britney', whose real name was actually Adam, after he left the building Rex and Shawn lived in. The three of them had spent that morning with Jan, helping Phillip move into her country home. They had finished just in time to meet up with the cross-dresser they had hired the night before to see how things had went with Rex and Shawn.
"So, what did Shawn do?" Phillip asked anxiously, "Did he totally flip out?"
Adam chuckled, "Yeah, and it was really fun kissing him too. I love my work. Can I get paid now?"
Phillip thanked him and handed him some money. Once Adam began to walk away, Phillip turned to face Lucas and Sami, "Thanks for all your help, guys. I wouldn't be doing such a fabulous job making Shawn miserable if it weren't for you two."
Lucas shrugged modestly, "It was all Sami. How did you find that guy anyway?"
"Crystal recommended him." Sami answered, rolling her eyes, "Like I'd know where to find a guy like that."
"Well, it doesn't really matter," Lucas replied, giving her a little smirk, "I think I'll still have to surprise you tonight as a thank you for doing this for Phillip." his grin left no doubt about what type of surprise he had planned and Sami felt her heart rate spike even at the idea of what he was going to do to her that night. She knew that after this two-week period was up, she was going to be very disappointed. Oh, well, that's what extension periods are for, Sami thought as she, Lucas and Phillip began to walk away from Shawn's apartment building.
