Author's Note: Okay, I really despise this chapter. It might just be the content I didn't like writing but I think it just turned out crappy in every way possible. I would re-write it, but I hated writing this chapter enough the first time enough so I'm not doing it again. My apologies in advance :(.
The night Sami had been dreading was almost to an end.
The air conditioner hummed, neutralizing the humid warmth of Lucas' bedroom. Slits of sunlight streamed through halfway closed blinds, silently announcing the fifteenth morning that would end the two week agreement. Lucas hadn't mentioned the end of the two weeks the night before and Sami had long since decided that she would be the last person to bring it up.
Lucas was still asleep, his forehead a pressing into Sami's hair, his slow, steady breaths spilling onto Sami's collarbone. Sami was awake though. She lazily trailed her fingertips along Lucas' spine, glad that she had stayed at his apartment for the night. Over the two week period she had spent with Lucas, the two of them had only slept in the same apartment about half the time. Sami guessed that Lucas felt the same way she did- that spending too much time together without actually having sex would be breaking the rules of their deal.
But she wanted to break the rules. She wanted to do more than sleep with him, but now that the two weeks were over, she probably wouldn't even be able to do that. Lucas would wake up, kick her out of his apartment, and go back to stripping in front of hundreds of lecherous woman. Sami felt like a hand was closing around her throat as she conjured up the scenario, and her eyes were squeezed together so tightly that it made her eyelids burn with stinging, pent-up tears and overwhelming pressure.
Sami suddenly wanted to knock the arm stretched across her stomach away from her. She wanted to push Lucas out of his own bed and somehow make him feel as deserted as she felt. She shifted positions on the bed, disrupting the comfortable molding of their bodies. Lucas murmured drowsily but remained asleep, which allowed the sudden tension from the fear of Lucas' awakening to leave Sami's body. She resented him for making her feel like this without saying a word, she loathed the unsettling, compulsive need to stay with him but she still wanted him to sleep. She wanted to be able to hold off on the unpleasant for as long as possible, she wanted to keep being held by him before he woke up and inevitably brought everything to an abrupt stop.
Sami was still torn between wanting to leave before the rejection occurred and snuggling closer to the endlessly warm and pliant body. Finally, due to lack of self-control more than anything else, she opted for the latter, her head sliding to one side until her mouth rested against his shoulder. No matter how many good things she had to say about sex with Lucas, she still loved being with Lucas no matter what the circumstance and there was certainly something to be said about moments like these. No sex, no talking, just shared body heat, unconscious affection and comfort. It wasn't sexual, or even erotic, it was simply intimate, and somehow even more private than the times they made love were.
She wanted Lucas for so much more than sex. Knowing that made Sami grind her teeth together with frustration, because she didn't know how to tell him that. She couldn't reveal her feelings, not when he was all about sex now, he was all about sex and exposing himself to everyone who was willing to look (which was probably 99 of Salem's females and at least 50 of Salem's males, considering how many bisexuals there turned out being in Salem). Sami knew she would never be able to find a way to admit the truth about how she felt until he left his stripping job at Unzipped for good.
Sami was so distracted by her worries and contemplations that she didn't notice Lucas opening his eyes and slowly awakening. When she finally did notice Lucas staring down at her, she felt her heart drop like a brick of solid cement.
"Hi," Lucas said, his voice low and raspy with sleep.
"Hi," Sami whispered back, twisting around so her cheek was flattened against his chest. For an awkward stretch of time, neither of them uttered a word. Sami's body seemed to vibrate with fear as she waited for Lucas to speak, and she prayed that Lucas was unable to sense the almost indistinct tremors. She remained unmoving, forcing her eyes to stay open, not even blinking. Sami knew what was coming next, the same way a person knew the roar of thunder would follow a stripe of lightning during a storm. She knew that any minute Lucas would tell her-
"Do you know what today is?" Lucas questioned her suddenly, like he was reading her mind and fulfilling her expectation.
As soon as Lucas asked the question, Sami's muscles went slack, not with relief but with disappointment. Her eyes finally fluttered shut, but she didn't speak.
Lucas pressed forward, "I guess since this is the end of the two weeks, we need to talk about it."
"Actually, we don't," Sami snapped in return, rolling away from him and draping her arm over the edge of the bed, "I can just leave."
She barely had time to touch her fingers to the carpet in an attempt to retrieve the clothes she had carelessly discarded the night before when Lucas took hold of her shoulders and rolled her back over so she met his serious gaze.
"Is that what you really want to do?" he asked, his expression darkly intense.
Sami's nails sank into her palms, creating crescent-shaped indents in the soft skin as Sami willed herself not to respond, because she knew her answer was something she didn't want to voice aloud in front of Lucas.
"Just listen to me, okay?" Lucas paused, collecting his thoughts, "I knew we both agreed to start this thing for a limited period of time in order to get over each other, to stop wanting each other. I don't know about you, but it hasn't worked for me. If anything, I just want you more."
Sami could easily follow what he was saying. She was undergoing the same thing he was, the ravenous, insatiable feeling that made her feel like a junkie who needed her fix.
When Lucas saw nothing but comprehension on Sami's face, he moved on, "I want to keep you in my bed, Sami. I want to keep you in my arms, the same way you are right now." Carefully, he drew her closer, her legs entangling with his, "I want to keep you, period. All of you, not just your body. I still care about you and don't want to end what we could have without telling you how I feel."
Sami resisted the urge to close her arms around Lucas tighter and rub his mouth raw with grateful kisses. She hadn't allowed herself to visualize such a desirable outcome but now that Lucas had taken this direction, she felt like everything was suddenly locking into place. Lucas still loved her and she still loved him. They would spend the rest of their lives together, eventually getting married, being a family with Will and supporting themselves through Lucas' stripping job-
The jarring reminder of Lucas' job made such an impact that Sami physically recoiled. She had gotten so caught up in reveling in the knowledge that Lucas still wanted a future with her that she had let g-strings, Bonnie Lockhart and screaming, money-waving, sex-crazed women temporarily leave her mind. But after her lurch back to reality, she knew she had to be sensible and consider her own insecurities before jumping into a more serious relationship with Lucas.
Lucas had felt Sami flinch seconds before and was looking at her with evident concern, "What's wrong, Sami?"
"Nothing." Sami answered, "I want to be with you, Lucas. I really do," she hadn't meant for the words to sound so hesitant and uncertain, but because of the words Sami knew would follow, they had ended up coming across that way, "But I can't. I can't unless you... quit your job." the last three words were a flimsy whisper.
"My job?" Lucas' forehead was creased into a frown, "But why?"
Sami sent him a look of disbelief. Her annoyance with his ignorance over her feelings about him working at Unzipped helped bring the conviction back into her voice when she spoke a second time, "Stop pretending you don't know what I'm talking about. You know how I felt about you working at that strip club from the beginning."
"I may know how you feel, but that doesn't mean I know why. I just don't see why you're so set on getting me to quit." Lucas returned.
Sami's irritation level went up a notch, "Then maybe you should use your brain. I have plenty of reasons for not wanting you to work there. To start with, Will's coming back at the end of August. I don't want him to know where you've been working. And if we're going to have a relationship, I want to be the only woman in your life."
"You will be. My working at Unzipped won't change that."
"Yes it will!" Sami protested, "I will not stay involved with you if you're going to continue getting paid to make other women horny. When you're on stage dancing around in those skimpy costumes, every woman there wants you. They would pay money to put their hands on you, just like they pay to look at you naked, and it's only a matter of time before one of those depraved bitches lures you away from me!"
Lucas' frown deepened, "So, what you're trying to say is, if I work in an environment where women want me that I won't be able to control myself and that I'll cheat on you?"
"Exactly!" Sami didn't notice the stricken expression on Lucas' face as she surged forward, "I don't want to lose you to another woman and I don't want anyone to see you undressing but me. I want to be the only one who sees you like this." her fingers journeyed up his exposed arm. Lucas jerked away from her touch as if she had electrocuted him, muttering something unintelligible.
"What did you say?" Sami asked, finally seeing the unhappy, inflexible expression he was wearing.
"I said, I'm not quitting my job." Lucas' mouth was set in a hard, determined line, "You can have me and my job or you can't have me at all. It's your choice but I'm not giving up my job."
"Why not? You can't actually enjoy it that much," Sami responded, trying desperately to figure out where Lucas' sudden anger was stemming from.
"It doesn't matter if I enjoy it or not," Lucas said furiously, "What matters is that you don't trust me and I'm not going to encourage that distrust by leaving Unzipped. Besides, maybe I do enjoy working there." Lucas added with a taunting smirk, attempting to deflect his own hurt and send it back to Sami.
Sami's own temper flared up and she shoved Lucas away from her, "You probably do enjoy what you do, now that I think about it. You probably do enjoy having all those women lusting after you. What was I thinking? You don't need me, you've got a club full of skanky women to choose from."
Sami was pulling on her clothes when Lucas rose from the bed, "I don't want a club full of women, I want you. I just need you to trust me."
"Why should I?" Sami demanded savagely, "You aren't giving me any reason to. You won't give up your slut job for me when you know how it makes me feel. And if you'll undress for strange women, then who knows what else you'll do for them."
"That's bullshit, Sami," Lucas wrenched his boxers over his hips roughly, "You've seen the way we operate there. I never touch any of my customers except you. You're the one who gets all touchy-feely with other men."
"Oh my God, don't even try and bring that up when you're the one who's wrong right now."
"I'll bring up whatever I want to bring up. That situation was what started this whole thing. If you hadn't kissed that man, I never would have started working at Unzipped." Lucas told her accusingly.
"Don't blame me! No one forced you to start working there. You only worked there to get back at me and if you really want us to have a future, you wouldn't keep trying to get revenge on me by staying at Unzipped." Sami reasoned through clenched teeth.
"I wasn't trying to get back at you. I was trying to forget about you. Ask Rex and Phillip if you don't believe me, it was their idea." Lucas told her.
"I don't need to talk to Rex or Phillip because I believe you. And I know if you keep working at Unzipped that you will forget about me. Don't you get it? I'm trying to protect myself from getting hurt. Can't you at least try to be understanding?" Sami slipped her foot into her sandal.
"What I don't understand is how you can be so ridiculously paranoid," Lucas burst out, "I'm not going to forget about you. I love you, Sami, and my job isn't going to make a difference in our relationship."
It was as if Sami hadn't heard the last sentence he had said, "You don't get it at all. You should actually listen to me when I tell you how your fucking job makes me feel instead of being an insensitive asshole."
"At least I'm not being a distrusting, selfish bitch!" Lucas shot back fiercely.
Sami's temper spiraled out of control.
"No, you're being a goddamn slut, Lucas!" Sami screamed, "You don't want to quit because you like having all those women looking at you, you love knowing that they all want what's in your g-string. You're just refusing to quit because you're being a stupid whore."
Lucas' back was rigid and his eyes glittered with warning, "Don't, Sami."
"You know what? Just forget it. I don't want to be with you anyway. You're just like your mother. You might as well start selling sex to women as a side job. Too bad Stefano's dead or else you could have worked for him too." Lucas reeled back a step, and his eyes became flooded with shock and hurt.
"I don't care if I never see you again. You're nothing but the town bicycle- everyone gets a ride. I'm just glad I got my turn before those other streetwalkers had a chance to contaminate you with their STD's." with that final note and a haughty toss of her hair, a fully-dressed Sami accelerated towards the door, rushing out of the apartment before Lucas had a chance to rejoin the conversation. Of course, Sami realized that she wouldn't have to worry about that; Lucas made no move to chase after her.
It was only after Sami had retreated into her own apartment that the force of the last five minutes hit her. It was like an anvil had suddenly dropped onto her head. She had lost her temper and had been feeling instead of thinking about what she had been saying. All of her anger, rejection and hurt had bubbled out, her brain had just turned off the logic and reasoning switch and turned the emotional intensity on high. And even thought she knew she had had a right to be angry with Lucas, she had went too far. Her words replayed in her own head relentlessly until she bit down on her lower lip so hard that it made the metallic tang of blood fill her mouth. How the hell could I have said those things to him? Sami wondered with disbelief, the words word 'slut' and 'whore' bouncing around in her head like echoes in a cave.
Tears began to spring from her eyes and fell at an unwavering rate as sharp sobs wracked her body. She curled up on her couch and let her tears spill over, realizing that after the argument she had just had with Lucas, her last chance at holding on to the man she loved was officially gone.
