Chapter Eleven: Public Tango
"We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield..." - Pat Benatar (Love is a Battlefield)
Laying on my bed, I tried to figure it all out. I had loved Spike for a long time, probably longer than I let on. When he had left us two years ago, I had realized it. Right before he had gone, when I had begged him to stay, telling him there was nothing good to come out from our pasts, I had known. The look in his eyes, it had killed me. Perhaps that was what had driven me to shoot a hole in the ceiling of the ship, something Jet had made me pay for.
Still, no matter how much I wanted to believe that he could love me back, I had never though it would actually happen. But one kiss doesn't mean love. Of all people on the ship, I knew that from experience. How many times had a guy screwed me over? Plenty. I always got back up though. That's why they called me Lady Luck, because I could survive through anything.
My right leg hung off the side of the bed. Lazily I drug it back and forth across the rough carpet. )clink( I sat up, glancing down at what I had hit with the edges of my toes. The VCR and TV were still on the floor, seemingly a bigger mess than when I had last laid my eyes upon them. Grudgingly, I picked up the largest pieces first, tossing them into a disposal container, then went to work on the smaller shards.
Jet was busy making dinner in the kitchen. I supposed that was why I hadn't heard from Ed yet. The smells drifting back into my room were delicious. Though he was dead, Mr. Bounty, who had nearly killed me, had been worth quite a handsome sum, and the money was all going to our supplies. Real food is a grace from God when it is really needed.
I walked around the ship, picking up the clothing I had left outside of the living room, and then deciding to take that shower. Locking the bathroom door, I stood against it for a moment considering what on earth I was doing in a place like this. Though it was my home, how much longer could I survive out here? I wasn't getting any younger. Soon Jet wouldn't be in the business anymore and I would have to rely on someone. Could I count on Spike?
Turning on the hot water, I stripped down, careful not to nick off any of my bandages that were still intact from the hospital. My doctor had told me to leave them on as long as they would stay, then secure new ones on and repeat the process. My bracelet slid off my wrist easily. I had hardly eaten in the last few days and because of it my body was already conforming to its lack of protein.
Settling down in the bath, embraced by the rising steam that surrounded me, I inhaled deeply, finding peace in the simple pleasure of cleanliness. Closing my eyes, I dipped by head under the water and cleared my mind. I thought of everything that had happened during the day from a different point of view, instead of getting cluttered by my own opinions and my own emotions. Instead, I became objective, seeing it all as if I was outside my own body.
The last thing I saw caught my attention. I sat up in the tub, causing some of the water to spill over the sides from my sudden movement. Not even bothering to dry off my hand, I reached down to the floor to retrieve my bracelet and spotted the same thing that had alarmed me so before. There was a guidance chip lodged in my bracelet.
I had never been one to panic over petty matters, but if this chip was there from either Mr. Bounty or that Syndicate nut, I was in trouble. I knew how stubborn men were and I knew how they hated to give up. If someone out there wanted me dead, then I was going to be dead. This chip had led them all to me and it could still possibly lead more. I had enough enemies as it was. The last thing I needed was another encounter, so soon after the first two.
Quickly drying myself off, I changed into my gray sweats, and raced back into my room. I began packing my bags, with what few items I still possessed. It was in this frenzy that Ed entered my room, bouncing through the hall with Ein trailing her, to announce that it was time for dinner. I stopped what I was doing, considering how good a full meal in my stomach would be, then paused on my packing to get some nourishment.
Settling down at the table, with the companions I had learned to get along with, like, and finally love, I stared at each of their faces, trying to make an imprint of what they all looked like down to the very last detail, in case I never got back. Jet dished out a plate of ham and string beans to each member of the crew, saving himself for last. He always had been old fashioned. Then everyone was eating, in complete and utter silence. I couldn't believe how everyone was acting, as if nothing was bothering them, was it only me? Sighing, I began to eat too.
"Hmmmm, not wearing your bracelet, Faye?" Jet asked, nonchalantly.
I glanced down at my bare wrist, feeling odd without my normal piece of jewelry. "It was bugged," I muttered, trying to ignore his sharp intake of breath. "I'm going to dump it out in the middle of space and take a vacation."
"The Faye-Faye is leaving again?" Ed inquired, putting a pouting face on.
"Yeah."
I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I might not be back. If those men…whoever they were tracked me down and found me, what where my chances of getting back to the Bebop alive? I didn't want to go, but I had to protect them. They deserved so much for all the times I had been childish and go off, waiting for them to come after and rescue me.
As if nothing had happened earlier, Spike remained silent throughout the meal. He didn't even look at me, when I sent Jet my "Don't come after me this time. I'm serious" stare. If I had ever wanted anything, I wanted to hear him make a smart-ass comment like he always did. But Spike never gave me what I wanted when I needed it the most, so why would this time be any different from the last?
Still, his silence didn't bother me. Instead, I used his ignoring state to memorize him. I stared directly at him while I ate my dinner and he never once looked up to notice. I would sporacdically close my eyes, trying to make sure I would be able to picture him this way when I was gone, be able to die with the vision of him calmly eating something that he actually wanted. I never saw the strange looks of interest Jet was giving us both. Ed was obviously too busy to notice anything as she gobbled down her dinner. And Ein…well someone forgot to feed him…again.
Dinner was over all too quickly, and without making eye contact with me, Spike excused himself to go off on his own. Jet shook his head and began to clear away the table, while Ed returned to her "tomato" to find us a new "client." Ein, the good dog he always was, sat by her side, waiting patiently…or maybe he was hoping she'd remember to feed him. With no one to watch what I was doing, I returned to my room, taking out my own "tomato" and deciding to call upon my correspondent.
I logged on, hoping that I would find him, and luckily I had mail from him. Anticipation made me antsy, and I opened up the electronic letter he had sent. The words inside made my insides flip. It read:
MeMoRyPhAsEd29 to HoTyElLoWsHoRtS28:I put the chip on your bracelet. I wanted to keep you safe.
I sat back from the computer screen, convinced that I had to have been reading it all wrong. This guy was the reason I had been shot out, beaten, and nearly killed? I had wanted a friend and instead, without even knowing it, I had made a very bad enemy. Shivering, I shut down the computer, finished packing, and hurried out to the hanger to load the Red Tail.
When I entered the chilly chamber, I spotted another in the room. It was Spike. He was polishing down the Swordfish with an old rag, humming a little tune to himself. Obviously, he didn't realize that I was there, but no matter. I didn't plan on staying very long. Still, as I set my bags down, I though I ought to at least say goodbye to him. He had saved my life twice. I owed him at least a farewell. So softly, I approached to tap him on the shoulder, only I never got to touch him, for he turned around right before I could make contact.
He appeared to want to say something, but no words came out of his mouth. Over his shoulder I noticed something was flashing across his screen. It was a notice of a message...an e-mail. I recognized the first couple of words, but immediately I read the entire thing, just to be sure. It was the letter I had just recieved from MeMoRyPhAsEd29. That meant.....
I lost all the breath in my lungs as I stepped back to stare at him. How? How out of all the millions of people in this universe could we have found each other on-line? How long had he been keeping his other identity secret from me? How did this happen? And why? Why had he done this? Why had he kept up with the charade? He stepped over, wrapping his fingers around her arms, pulling me forward, closer to him. Then, just barely above the sound of a sigh, he whispered to me something I had longed to hear ever since I had fallen.
"I think I may love you."
I closed my eyes, cherishing those six little words, so simple, yet so moving at the same time. I never expected him to continue, because suddenly he was kissing me. I don't remember how it started, or who pulled away first, but all I know is after it ended, all I could see was him, not the cold hanger, or the ships sitting there in the background, just him.
So of course I failed to notice the audience we had gotten.
"Spike?"
"Huh?" Spike spotted Jet and Ed, with Ein at her side. "Ah!?" he blushed, rubbing the back of his neck, and turned away. I could also feel heat flashing across the pale skin of my cheekbones. "Can't a guy have some privacy?"
Ed was all over that comment. "Oh la la! Spike-person and the Faye-Faye are going to have a tomato together, yes?" She climbed over both of us, pausing for the answer to her question on Spike's shoulders.
"ED!"
She shrunk back after our yelling, sitting on the floor by our feet, still smiling that childish smirk she always wore when she knew far more than she should. I glanced over at Spike, who was scratching the back of his neck again, something he did often when he was thinking, though I had never seen him so nervously. Jet put his hands in his pockets, looking rather uncomfortable now that he knew what must have been going on behind his back. Ed still sat there, rocking back and forther on her heels, waiting for something to happen. Ein stared up at me, wishing for something. I wonder if he ever got fed his dinner, maybe that was what he was waiting for. The silence lingered on and it became too much to bear.
I exploded.
"Someone say something!"
Both men made eye contact with one another, stared at me, and then resumed their shared silence. I was overly angry, and I knew it. There was no reason for me to shout, but I couldn't control my emotions anymore. Spike had ripped the only security I had held over them and they were running loose. When no one said anything, I stormed off to my room. Ed only stalled for a moment, then raced after me, Ein tagging along with a bark of enthusiasm. Still hungry, I suppose.
Third Person POV
"What's with her?"Spike asked Jet.
The older man shrugged. "You know women. Highly unpredictable, especially her." He started out. "I wish you luck with handeling that one my friend," he added, patting him on the back. "Cause you're going to need it."
Faye's POV
Back in my room, I was lying on my bed...again. I was trying to assess the situation. Ed was closeby, as usual, working on my "tomato." She was convinced a bit of technology could cure me of my depression, but she was wrong. I was too disappointed in Spike to let a itty bitty machine help me out. A light chimming alerted me of a new message. There was only one person it could be from. Lazily, I reached over top of Ed's head and shut the laptop down. She stared over her shoulder at me, surprised, but the look in my eyes must have told her I didn't want to read it. She gently placed it on the ground and let my room.
Rolling over on my side, I went to sleep.
Author's Note:To all of you who thought MemoryPhased was Spike...you were right!....obviously. Anyway, at least it's all out in the open now. I'm not sure how much more e-mailing they'll be doing, it was just a little detail for the story, but if I get enough pleas for more, I'll think of it. Still...once again, Spike has made her mad. What else is new?........(silence).....Okay, I'll shut up and work on the next chapter, but only if you're good readers and review, review, REVIEW!!!!! Neveada Sierriana
