Chapter 13: Sounds of the Heart
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
-Isaac Asimov
The tragedy of life is what dies inside aperson whilethey live.
-Albert Schweitzer
Faye POV
I didn't fall asleep right away. In fact, it took me a couple hours until my eyes even blinked. I kept playing the recent scene of what had just happened over and over again. "Don't live in denial, Faye." True, Spike had changed in these past months, but to indirectly admit his feelings for me was completely out of character. I tried to picture what he had been like previous to his death. A smile spread upon my lips. We had behaved like children. No wonder Jet had reacted the way he had around us.
Jet Black had always been a father figure to me, probably because I couldn't recall having one of my own. Thinking of it then, thought, I realized he had been my mentor in more ways than that. Spike and I had always bickered in an immature manner over silly, pointless matters. Jet had always been the one to calm each of us down, after separating us, so we didn't go for each other's throats. The time the rock lobster had been loose on the ship and Spike had given him the lizard concotion, we had both stared at him, like children, far too curious to consider the role we played in our captain's life. The thing that made the most difference though was my impulse to leave. All the times I had runaway, Jet had been the one to come get me, just as a father would.
Except for last time….
Despite my intention to drive the subject of Spike Spiegel away, my mind forced me back to the hospital episode. No matter how I tried to picture it before my eyes the way it really had been, all I could see was red. Red blood covered every piece of furniture, each inch of the floor, painted the walls a deep crimson, and it was those details that were printed in my brain, branded there for the rest of time.
I noticed my limbs were trembling. Wordlessly, I brought a blanket to lie over top of me, and rolled onto my side. Red. I shivered. Red. The screaming was louder in my mind that the soothing vibrations of the Bebop. Red. All those people had died and all because of such a small argument that man had had with me. RED! Shaking, I pressed myself together, forcing my eyes to close.
A tragedy is something no person should have to endure. I knew what I had gone through couldn't be classified as one. I had provoked it with my many crazy forms of life. Suffering after the love of your life is shot, that was something to cry about at night, an idea that would give you nightmares. Spike could do those things. He had a right to. I didn't.
Sleep did not come easily and when it did, all I saw was blood…deep scarlet blood.
Spike POV
She shut the door on me, something I should have gotten used to by now. Jet had told me that my absence had put her through a lot, and though he had been right to accuse me of being the mysterious man who had saved her at the bar, I could never tell him. If I did, he'd badger me to know why. He knew now, of course. He had seen the way I had kissed her, the way I held her in my arms, like she was made of glass and I feared that she would break under my touch...the way Julia had.
It didn't matter which angle I looked at it from. Either way, I had been the real cause for Julia's death. If she hadn't cared for me, if she hadn't gone to such great lengths to be free with me, perhaps her fate would not have been the way it had come to pass. Then again, recalling how quickly everything had fallen into place after meeting up with her again,I wondered if she had felt threatened by Faye. They had met one another after all, and they must have known something about my feelings for the other. Had Julia felt threatened by my bounty hunting partner?
Let's just run away somewhere. Truly escape from this world and go where no one else is... Just the two of us...
The idea seemed silly, impossible even, but my mind wouldn't let it go. It had been three years since I had see her. I had often called her my woman, and told Jet that he could worry about "the other one"...the other one being Faye. Part of me felt guilty for the blunt way I had named her that. It had never been something I meant, although I had changed since my death. I had realized a lot about myself, more than I had thought possible. Somewhere inside of me, there was still a beating heart, and it felt for her in a way I had never felt for Julia. Perhaps that was what real love was.
I heard her scream. The sound was heightened for my ears only. In that moment, I realized the connection we had with one another. I leapt out of my bed, unconciously tossing cover sheets to the floor. It only took me a moment to bust the door open and in the next instant, I was by her side. I exhaled, silently thanking the higher powerLaughing Bull believed so strongly in. She was only dreaming. Even as I clutched her hand in my own, I could see the slight rise and fall of her chest as she slumbered on.
"Faye," I whispered, placing her hand on her stomach. Usually, she slept in old shorts and a white tank, but she was sleeping in the same clothes she had worn all day and was partially covered by a blanket. She didn't stir as I called her name, but her body became calmer. The rhythm of her breathing decreased in speed, matching the normal pattern of inhaling a sleeping person has. A smirk came to appear on my lips as I watched her.
Call me old fashioned, but in my opinion, women are at their most beautiful when deeply sleeping. They aren't wearing make-up, so one can see their natural face and pick out their unique delicate features. With their eyes closed, there is no need to make direct eye contact with them. One can simply view and review any portion of their body without them knowing or judging. It may seem perverted, but I would never take advantage of a woman, especially Faye, unless she wanted me to.
I had never been sure what I would encounter when I returned to the Bebop. After a few years, it had become my home. I didn't know where else I could have turned. I had spent time away to understand. I had wanted to understand so that when I came back, at least I could explain something to them, something that I was sure of, even if I wasn't sure of returning. I had predicted Jet's reaction right, but Faye...I had never known a woman to be so unpredictable, so reckless, and so careless with her life. She was so much like me in that respect that sometimes it worried me. Maybe the irony of it all, was that she was me, the living part of me, and I needed to protect that, for whatever reason the gods saw fit, perhaps that was the plan.
Glacing at her clock, I noticed that there were still several hours until morning. Space is always dark, an eternal night, but humans still live by there biological clocks. Mornings for us bountyhunters usually start at eleven a.m. and end whenever. Most nights are spent chasing down clues from a previous fight or chase that turned unsuccessful, although sometimes, the occasional bounty will make things interesting enough that the chase continues on through the entire night, giving someone, like me, a rather fun round of cat and mouse. Grinning as I recalled those few special times, I wondered if those were the moments I lived for, or at least, was available to.
There had been dozens of women in my life, only one of which I had ever gotten intimate with beyond a kiss. Faye was rapidly becoming the second of the elite group. Julia, had, in fact, been the first and the only, until this point. I knew I had to stop comparing them. It had always seemed, and still did, even after her death, that the two were at war with one another for my heart. The only problem with that scenario was, I wasn't sure if I still had one.
Needing to know, I closed my eyes, and focused on the spot in which I intended to sleep for the rest of the night. Immediatly, I saw her face, that simple pale colored flesh with those striking eyes and shocking purple hair. There was no natuarl blonde in my line of vision, only a girl who had been left without a family, stranded on this ship with a crew of gunsmen, and one wildly strange redheaded child. Carefully, I climbed over her, taking the open space aside of her warm body, and there I laiddown, gently draping my right arm around her small form.
Sleep never came so swiftly.
Faye POV
My eyes fluttered open at the unfamiliar sound. Curious, I sat up, clutching the cover sheet of my futon to my chest. My room appeared to be normal and the rhythm of the ship was steady. For once, things felt right, as if they were going to continue to remain fine. Sliding back down on my spine, I rolled over right into Spike's chest.
Gasping, I yanked back. What was he doing in my room? More importantly...what was he doing in my bed! How had I not noticed his arrival? I didn't know what to do. I had never had a man in my bed where I didn't understand why he was there. Spike hadn't take advantage of me, I knew that at least, and as much as I hated to admit it, I did trust him. Still, this was strange. I was at a loss as to how to react.
He was foreign ot me, in his sleeping form. There was an aura of peace, content, written by his features. I had the sudden urge to touch that angelic face. My fingertips cautiously unwound from their fist form, advancing toward his pale skin. Seconds later, the tips of my fingers were tracing the outline of his face, his nose, and finally his lips. When they made contact, he surprised me, but quickly grabbing my wrist and planting a kiss on my opened palm.
"Hey," he yawned, stretching slightly. He said it in such a casual manner, oen would have thought we were lovers.
Not knowing what else to say, I followed his lead. "Hi."
For a couple minutes, neither of us said another word. He stared at me, those mismatched eyes glistening in the dim light that was peeping in from the hallway under the door. I could see my reflection in his eyes, a woman from all corners of the universe, one who had learned the tricks of the trade and had nothing to show for it. My life was a sad life, an endless story that never seemed to have a conclusion. Could he see that too? I wondered.
"What are you doing in here?" I asked, breaking the deafening silence between us. It was a tense moment.
"You screamed," he answered, as if it explained everything. "I wanted to make sure you were alright."
Visions from my many nightmares flashed before my eyes, clips tainted in red, all sharing the same main idea, the same memory that haunted me each time I closed my eyelids. "I can't stop remembering."
He chuckled.
"Why is that funny?"
Sighing, he propped himself up against the wall. "There was a time when you would have given anything to remember your old life, the times you had had before being awoken in the doctor's lab. Now," he shrugged. "Just kind of ironic."
"Yeah," I agreed, thinking it over. He scratched his neck, his eyes shut once again. "Spike?"
"Mm?"
I was afraid to ask, but the words came out of my mouth anyway. "Where do we go from here?"
"I don't know," he admitted, looking directly into my eyes. I nodded and laid back down. He hesitated, but then did the same, relaxing in the same position I had found him in. Exhaling, I closed my eyes, trying to find sleep. Softly, ever so more lower than a whisper, he said, "Faye?" I turned to look at him. "Come here." I moved and he wrapped me in his arms. That was how I fell asleep, and he became my cure for the nightmares.
The hospital was dark and chills were racing up and down my spine. I looked to the left where the rest of the room was, empty except for the chair Jet had occupied earlier. To my right was the large window I had watched the rain fall down from. Somewhere, outside, Spike was finishing up his old life to start anew. He was going to leave Julia, Vicious, and the entire Syndicate behind. It made me happy and at the same time sad. I couldn't imagine what it must be like to turn your back on your entire life to embrace another form of it. Although, technically, I had already done that.
Mr. Bounty and Stravinski weren't there, although the atmosphere seemed perfect for them to attack me. Then, he came. He walked through the door with my golden bracelet, no longer tagged, and placed it on my wrist. "Faye, are you alright?" he asked. I nodded and he smiled, actually smiled. Then he helped me up off the bed and we got into our respective ships and sailed off, bound for the Bebop, our home.
My dreams had never been so nice.
Third Person POV
Jet finished cooking breakfast and looked around. Ed was sitting at the table, a fork clutched in one fist and a knife in the other. Her napkin was fastened around her neck in a make-shift bib. On the floor by her feet sat Ein, an empty dog dish aside of his left paw. However, two very important occupants were missing. Though Faye sometimes refused to eat a meal, and as of late, hadn't had a great amount of an appetite, Spike was never one to skip over food, even if it was over used bell peppers. Unsure of what was going on, especially after yesterday's occurance, he sat the food out, and went investigating.
First came Spike's room. He knocked and there was no answer, so then he kicked down the door. Meanwhile, Ed and Ein were helping themselves to the steaming plate of peppers that had been carelessly left alone with them. Jet entered the vacant room, discovering that Spike's bed wasn't even ruffled. It was still tidy and made. Angry, the captain of the ship charged down the hall to Faye's room and without bothering to knock, broke open the door. What he found was definatly not what he had assumed he would find. His two crew members were soundly sleeping in eachother's arms, under the covers of the Faye's futon. Smirking to himself he took a deep breath.
"RISE AND SHINE! TIME FOR BREAKFAST!"
Faye and Spike lazily answered in unison, "Shut up, Jet!" And returned to sleep.
"Fine, won't wake up when asked, then how about this?" Grabbing the corners of the bed, Jet lifted it up, flipping both of them off the mattress to the cold metal floor. "Good morning," he grinned at their shocked expressions as they laid on the floor in a heap of blankets and limbs.
Ed bounded into the room to see what all the commotion had been and seeing the sight laughed. "Hey! Edward wants to play too!"
Jetrolled his eyes.
A/N: I am terribly sorry that it took so long to find time to update. (To: Goddess - I would have e-mailed you, but you never left me your e-mail address and if you have an account on here, you were never signed in when you reviewed.) Usually, if I don't update in a while, I will at least find time to write a note in my proflie explaining why, as I did this time. I was having some family problems, as well as issues with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years. So please excuse my absence for a month. I will try hard to make the next chapter appear sooner than this one. Nev
