Same old, same old.

Disclaimer: I-don't-own-anything-the-Man-man-had invented. Ha-ha.

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Ch.7

S.R. 1438, Spring

It has been years since I last saw Legolas and we parted due to my rejection of his love. I regretted my harsh words, and a day did not pass when I hadn't gone over the cruel meeting inmy mind; I-frankly- was a horrible to him. But I had not loved him; I barely tolerated him. But I did care about the Elf, and though I still wanted his friendship, I knew it would be in vain to try and start over. How can two continue a friendly relationship when the tension of rejected love is ever in the air?

Well, after mine and Legolas' parting, Elrond, his sons, and my sister and I left the White City and we returned to Imladris. Anariel and Elladan were soon married, and she left our old chambers to stay in his. I must say I welcomed my own room; it was getting tedious to listen to her ravings of love and marriage…

I was hardly surprised when Anariel came to me several months later, saying she was with-child. It was a bit untraditional for an Elven couple to be having children so early on in their union, but- then again- my kindred were fast leaving this Middle Earth, and so it mattered not.

At the time, I was readying to depart for a year to reside in Caras Galathon, before the people of that once-great city would depart for Valinor. But when my sister had come to me- saying she was having my niece or nephew and that she wished for me to stay- I could not bear to leave her side. And so I did not leave to walk under the leaves of Lorien.

Anariel went into labor during a feast. She normally wouldn't have sat among company with a pregnant belly, but she had realized early on the attention it handed her, andso couldn't pass up the invitation.

I had no experience with childbirth, being weak around such happenings, and so when her "water broke"- as the midwives say- I had thought she spilled her drink into her lap. It wouldn't have surprised me, for she had been so clumsy during her pregnancy: always tipping vases with her enlarged belly, tripping over her own feet, and scaring myself and her husband to our wit's ends. I am ashamed to say that I found all the incidents hilarious after the danger had passed…

Anariel's labor was long and difficult, and though I could not be in the same room as she- because, as I said, I had a light stomach for such things, most of all blood- I could hear her cries from the nextroom.

She was struggling with the birth like our Mamil had once done with the two of us, and I foolishly began to fear for my own possible births yet to come-though I doubted that it would ever become a reality with my personality as glacial as it was…

When I voiced my worries of my sister and myself to a passing midwife the woman began laughing as though I had just spoken a joke, 'Milady,' she had said, 'you need not worry about your sister; she will survive the birth. And you certainly should not worry about your own skin, for you have hips, unlike your sister. That is why the lady is having such difficulty with her labors.'

When I explained that I had not the slightest idea of what she meant about hips, she laughed again. 'You have nice and round hips. Unlike your sisters. Rounder hips cause simpler births.' That dearly frightened me, and after that conversation I steered clear of any male for years.

Thankfully, the midwife hadbeentrue to her word. Anariel birthed- not one, but two infants- with little harm. The babes were a sight I will never forget; I had a nephew, Aratan, and a niece, Aniron. The boy had dark hair like his parents, but the girl had fair hair, from my father, Gil-Galad, as the songssay.

I was so thankful to my sisterthatI forgave her of all my dark thoughts the moment she told the midwives I was to hold her dear, infant twins first.

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S.R. 1438, Winter

A horrible record I am about to begin, but it must be written…

My sister's husband, Elladan, has been killed. He died during an accident in Rohan, were he and his brother were delivering a message. Some fool of a mortal had shot the stray arrow and it hit my brother-in-law's horse. The dead beast instantly fell and crushed Elladan's lungs; he died minutes after they removed the animal from his body. Elrohir said to methat his brother's last words were for myself and his brother to care for my sister and her children. Then he passed.

Anariel is inconsolable and she has begun to resemble the person I once was; a wandering shell disconcerned with the lives around her. Nothing could pull her from her grief, not even the cries or laughter of her children. Nor myself and my pleas.

She must have known her time was shortening, for when I entered her chambers- to try to persuade her to eat- she handed me an envelope and gazed up at me with eyes devoid of her former self.

'Take that,' she had said. 'Elanwë gave it to me long ago, and it's about time you saw it. She gave it to me before we left our old home.' I didn't care about the blasted envelope, so I discarded it on a nearby table. Her time was nearing more quickly now, and she began to brabble on.

'My flute,' she had muttered in a last request, and I turned to the nightstand beside her bed. The neglected instrument lay covered in dust atop it, and I picked the thing up and subconsciously inspected it with a critical eye. It was a terrible thing to witness a musician too drawn and ragged in her heart and soul to play her beloved instrument.

If I had known that when I turned back to set the flute in Anariel's fingers and she would be dead, I would have stared at the instrument for all of eternity…

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The remainder of winter held me fast in it's cold air after we buried my sister in her tomb. Ibegan tosit lifelessly whereverI was; stillwearing my black dress of mourning and covered pitifully in Legolas' cloak. The season moved drearily on, and I mourned privately for my dear Anariel.

I wasquite ready to die myself, and I began to curse my sister for leaving me alone and without purpose. Normally an Elf would have wished to leave to Valinor at such a time; to witness the great sea…

Yet at that point in my life, I wanted never to see them more passionately than any of my race before me.

But I rememberhow mysalvation came as clearly as if it had happened not a hour ago…

I had been seated in some garden, my harp and my sister's flute lying in my lap collecting dust- I don't remember how long I had been there. I was growing too thin, and my skin had become too pale; like snow.

It was then that my niece, Aniron- merely a toddler- tottered into the garden to see me. She had just begun walking, and though she was still learning, she could easily wander from her inexperienced uncle Elrohir's care and find me;I suppose sheenjoyed my company more forI resembled her mother.

She was eager to reach my legs, and when she found them she fell at my feet, roaring with laughter. Her shrills sent me from my reverie and I remember looking down as she pulled herself up and grabbed one of my fingers in her own, then began to chew on it. I felt nothing for a moment; absolutely nothing.

Then, when she had tired of my lifeless finger and reached for her dead mother's flute, I began to weep with shame. My guilt of the neglecting of my sister's children stabbed at my stomach and threatened to have me empty it.

I had turned from my niece and nephew to grieve for Anariel, when Elrond and Elrohir hadn't given a moments thought for their own woes and took up the care of the children as I should have done.

'Ai, Aniron,' I had muttered, 'forgive me, melamin.' I pulled my neice into my arms and held her for a long while before I moved and brought her back inside.

I remember, vividly, the fit of laughter I received for my words. I took the outburst as forgiveness, and I from then on, I never allowed my sister's children to stray from my sight for long.

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