I apologize for the long wait. ; It seems the lazy demons had possession of my body for quite a while.. I finally decided to get off my lazy behind and -finish- something for once. Really, I can prove myself wrong, break my record and actually finish a chapter fic. It's not one of my best works, but as long as people review then I'll try to push myself to continue. Let's just hope I don't die in the process, ne?
Disclaimer- I can fool myself all I want, but I STILL don't own Meitantei Conan.. And no, I DON'T have Gosho Aoyama held captive in my closet... -Cough-
Anyways, on with the story.
More quick terms:
Doshita no?- Roughly,
"What's up?"
Nanimo- Nothing.
Carpe Diem
"Doshita no, Haibara?" The bright rays of the morning sun reflected brilliantly off of the thin, nonfunctional lenses of a young boy's glasses, effectively masking the unspoken amusement within his deep, blue eyes.
Seperating the entire group had been a simple enough task. On arrival at the park that they had been promised a visit to, a scavenger hunt was soon created as a means of dividing them into groups. Conan had instantly made the decision to drag Haibara off with him, leaving the others to seperate themselves at their own leisure.
Now that they were a good distance away, though, it was becoming obvious that he wasn't searching for acorns.
Now, his gaze had tilted sideways to the quiet female at his side, and for a moment he merely stopped to reflect. What would the dangers be in pressing the situation further? He knew how unpredictable the quiet types could be; Haibara had already threatened him with a gun at one point, only to inform him afterward that the gun was a mere toy.
"Nanimo." Haibara Ai had been weary of her partner's odd behavior for some time now, but it had never been like her to overreact in the face of suspicion. Despite this, she couldn't help but eye him hesitantly every now and then, attempting to use any deductive skills within her power to figure out just why he was acting so oddly around her. Did he want something of her? ..Whatever it was, she was ready to be on her guard. Kudoukun had certainly been known to pull childish stunts before, despite his age. "I'm assuming you didn't choose me, specifically, as a partner without some alternative motives, ne?"
In the moments that followed, silence dominated the conversation. Despite her normally collected personality, Haibara could feel her guard beginning to build up by the second as she waited for whatever 'Conan' had in mind to make itself known.
"You know me too well, don't you?" It seemed like forever before Conan finally spoke, and when he did it was fairly obvious he was trying to mask the hints of amusement within his voice. With an exaggerated sigh, he nodded as if in submission before turning his head toward her. "Well, if you really want to know, I was wanting to speak with you about something. You see..."
"It must be very important if you dragged me all the way out here," the scientist mused softly, angling her gaze upward. She hadn't failed to notice the new, serious tone of his voice, but was now stuck trying to decide whether it was an act or if he really considered the matter at hand important. Rather than appear interested, she focused her sights upon the blue sky above, quite surprised that it was so clear after several days of bad weather.
"Actually, it is." Suddenly, it became all too apparent that Conan's tone of voice had indeed taken a turn toward true seriousness. The amusement died from his voice as he shifted his gaze in all directions as if making sure that they hadn't been pursued on their short walk. He had been fully aware all along of what the scheme was between he and Ran, but he had decided to enter a new subject into the plan; a subject that he couldn't possibly speak aloud to any of the others if he valued his head.
"What is it?" No longer feeling a need to keep her guard up to protect herself from whatever scheme she had been sure he had been cooking up, Haibara merely blinked before watching him out of the corner of her eye. There were few things that caused him to push all of the others away in order to talk to her alone, and already she was beginning to grow a bit hesitant. Did he have another new assignment for them to run off on in search of those she feared most? Or..
"It's about the Apotoxin," He began, enhancing some of her initial fears about the conversation topic. "And it's about you." Ah, and the plot thickened. For once, Kudou Shinichi was taking a moment to sit down, figuratively speaking, and think about the best interests of another, when he very well could have spent his time badgering her about finding a cure to the Apotoxin itself. What had started out as a simple game of matchmaking was turning into something much more important.
It was turning into the question of one's future.
It was a difficult topic to tread across. Conan felt as if he were walking on eggshells with this one, so he arrived at the decision to start things off with a simple question. "So, what do you plan on doing?"
By the look she gave him, it wasn't hard to deduce that she hadn't fully comprehended the extent of the question.
"I mean," He continued sheepishly, unable to hold her gaze to his own. Instead, they both settled for staring ahead of them as they walked, unsure of what the other's reaction would be. "What do you plan on doing.. After all of this is over? Where are you going to go? What are you going to do?"
"After all of this is over?" She repeated in a monotonous tone. Her eyes shifted toward the ground for a few moments of thought, but she shook her head before allowing the extent of the question to sink in. "Who is to say we'll even be alive after all of this is over? We're not getting anywhere, Kudoukun."
The scientist's constant pessimism was something that took quite a while to become accustomed to, and even now it was eating at the boy's nerves. Even at the worst of times, he preferred to be optimistic about their ability to take down the black organization and win back what was rightfully theirs: freedom. If he gave up all hope of defeating them, that would be giving up all hope of ever returning to Ran, and that simply wasn't something he was ready to do. "Talk seriously," He grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets.
"You don't think I'm being serious?"
"Fine, then let's speak hypothetically. If we make it out of this alive, what do you plan on doing? Once they're gone, you won't have anyone to run from. You'll have the ability to be your own person with your own life. What do you plan on doing with that much power over yourself?" Finally, he gathered the initiative to direct his eyes back toward her, studying every minor detail of her facial expressions for something, anything, that might have helped in coming to a conclusion. "When; not if, but when you finally manage to come up with a permanent cure for our condition, what do you plan on doing for yourself?"
Well, this was certainly a new question. It wasn't very often that anyone stopped and asked her, of all people, what she wanted to do with her life. This whole time, she had been focusing almost all of her attention on a mere few tasks, most of which consisted of doing research on the APTX4869, as well as the mentally exhausting challenge of hiding from those who sought to end her life. It wasn't often that she actually stopped to wonder what she would do if they made it out alive. Heck, she had been almost certain that they would have all been dead by now. If she had made it this far, what if it was possible to make it out alive at the very end? It was a risky hope, but a hope nonetheless.
As she allowed the thought to sink in, she couldn't help but wonder what she would do. Throughout her extensive research, she had merely assumed that once she had finished with a final cure, she would simply follow suit and return herself to her normal body as well. She had known ahead of time that there would be a few complications in doing so, much in the same way that there would be complications for Shinichi upon his return, but only now did she really stop to think about them.
"Haibara," Conan cut abruptly into her thoughts, having been slightly uncomfortable with her silence. Once again he knew he was treading on thin ice, but he had to get around to his point eventually. He had never really been the type to beat around the bush, after all. "Haibara, look me straight in the eyes and tell me you have something left for you as that person. Tell me that you really want to be Miyano Shiho again."
As much as she hated to admit it, he was right in more than one way. Deep down, she had always known this, but she had spent so much time running from it that it stung when the subject was suddenly thrown in her face. She came to an abrupt halt then and there, blue eyes flashing with a long-supressed wave emotion that she fought to push to the back of her mind once more. This was pointless. She had been taught, one way or another, that strong emotions would get you nothing but heartache in the syndicate. Even now, when she was supposedly safe from the organization's clutches, expressing any sort of emotion made her feel weakened and unguarded. This wasn't right..
As Miyano Shiho, the little that she did have to live for had been taken away ruthlessly. Her one treasure, the very one keeping her alive and somewhat motivated, had been killed at the hands of Gin himself. As Miyano Shiho, she had been perfectly prepared to commit suicide to end everything..
As Miyano Shiho, did she really have anything left?
"What are you trying to get at?"
"The point behind this," Edogawa Conan continued, once again unable to keep hold of her gaze for an extended amount of time. With an exhausted sigh he lifted his eyes upward, taking in the deep blue beauty of the sky. "I had a suggestion to make. As we've just made clear, what do you have to return to? Sure, you could take your own cure and return... But would it really do you any good?"
"Do you have a point to this, Kudoukun?"
"What I'm trying to say," He continued, only mildly bothered by the interruption. "Is that you should consider staying in this body. Think of everything that the shrinking gave you. You have a whole new identity. It's like a whole new start for you. Like.. The childhood you never had. They may be just kids, but you've already made a bunch of friends," Ehe, with or without their personal will involved. "And you'd finally have the chance to let go and be free. I know it's not the easiest decision, but.."
For a brief few moments, Haibara Ai allowed her mind to travel across the 'friends' of which Conan spoke. It bothered her how easily he referred to them as close companions. She hated to admit it aloud, but once again she found Conan correct. She wasn't quite sure what she would have done all this time without the children. Their naive ways had brought them to try as hard as possible to draw her out of her shell, and for that she was thankful and protective of them; to certain extents, of course.
Ayumi, with her courage in certain situations, as long as they didn't involve ghosts or other frightening entities, as well as her boundless energy and compassion. She couldn't find a decent reason behind her protectiveness of this particular girl, but the connection was there. Perhaps it was because Ayumi had been the one to first jump up and drag Conan and Haibara into their tightly knit little group? Whatever it was, she had already threatened Conan on several occasions that he would be in trouble if he ever hurt Ayumi. And Mitsuhiko...
...Well, he was a frustrating boy to say the very least. His actions had always baffled her in certain senses, and yet there seemed to be more to this child than a geeky boy with obsessions. It had always confused, perhaps even amused to very, very small degrees, her with the way he seemed to change completely when he was around her..
Deciding against thinking too deeply into the matter for the time being, she merely sighed before offering a slow nod. "I'll think about it.."
"Good," Conan spoke, the tension draining from his face as he offered a quick smile. "You'll see; things aren't going to turn out as you originally thought. Everything's going to be just fine. Now let's get back to the others before they have a panic attack without us.."
xxx
Even before they reached their destination, Conan could tell that something was far from fine. His brow furrowed as he allowed his feet to carry him closer and closer to the group that they had left behind several minutes before; well, if it could even be called a group anymore. "Ranneechan, what's wrong?"
Ran, despite her usual calm and collected composure, appeared to be drained of all color as she glanced frantically around, seeming to be in search of something or someone. "Conankun," She mumbled in obvious fright, freezing as she caught sight of her little confidant approaching with the young scientist he had departed with. "Conankun, I... I don't know what happened, I just..."
Instinct had instantly told him that something was wrong the moment he spotted two children with Ran rather than the three that she had left with. As he came closer, he felt a forboding sense fill his very being as he took notice of the young woman's frantic disposition and fearful eyes. Even Haibara appeared somewhat phased by the situation as she glanced around, doing an instant silent head count of the children. It took less than a moment to figure out what was amiss.
Ayumi, who had been standing patiently by Ran this whole time, instantly dashed toward Conan as he approached, the fear obvious within her own eyes. "Conankun, you can help us, can't you? You have to find him, 'cause something might have happened!"
Although Conan was fairly sure of what was going on, he had to know. Once again, his expression turned serious as he tilted his gaze up toward Ran, knowing that she had more control over the situation and knew more about what had happened than the children themselves probably did. "Ran," He spoke, completely forgetting to add the respectful 'Neechan' to the end. "What happened?"
"I don't know," She pleaded in return, an overwhelming sense of guilt taking over entirely. "I just.. I turned my back for a few moments to help Ayumichan, and I turned back and... I swear, I didn't mean to! I have to.. I have to tell his.."
A single glance toward Haibara told it all.
Mitsuhiko was missing.
xxx
Well, there you have it. I didn't put as much effort into it as usual, but I tried. Again, please read and review. I'm sorry it took so long, but I did warn you that I have a habit of abandoning unfinished fics. I surprised myself by picking this one up again and continuing it. Well, I hope I can keep it up.
