Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it. The plot and any original characters (specifically Claire)belong to me, but everything else is stuff I only wish I could take credit for.
A/N: Ah, spring break. What a delightful time to catch up on writing :) I hope you all enjoy this chapter, because this conflict is going to be difficult to resolve :) Reviews make me happy and they've also been clinically proven to make me write faster.
Chapter 12:
"Where were you yesterday?" Rory asked. She held her cell phone between her ear and shoulder, attempting to read the newspaper as she spoke to Jess.
"I had to do some running around. It took me pretty much all day. I didn't get back till 8, and then I did inventory in the bookstore until 2 in the morning." Jess responded. Lies of omission were his favorite kind.
"I missed you." Rory said, turning the page of the paper.
Jess smirked. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." Rory replied, smiling. "Call me crazy, but I miss you when you're gone."
Jess's smirk transformed into a genuine smile. "I miss you when I'm gone too."
"Can I come over tonight?" Rory asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.
"I guess." Jess said, trying to sound nonchalant.
"Well, fine." Rory said, teasingly. "If you don't want me there…"
"Now, I don't recall saying that." Jess said. "I can think of some definite upsides to you coming over."
"Oh yeah, like what?" Rory demanded.
"You can return that Tolstoy you borrowed from me." Jess said smoothly.
"Any other upsides?" Rory questioned, knowing he was playing with her.
"I can lend you that Moreover Madness CD I was telling you about. You know, the band that sounds like the Clash."
Rory sighed. "I don't know if that's enough motivation to get me to come over."
Jess smiled and said. "Well, we can have sex too if you really want."
"Jess!" Rory exclaimed, glad he couldn't see her blushing.
"Oh, like that isn't what you meant. Don't get all virginal on me now, because I know the truth, Ms. Gilmore."
Rory laughed. "I'll be over in about an hour."
"I'll be here." Jess said before hanging up the phone with a smile.
"I love you." Rory said, cuddling close to Jess's bare chest. The two were lying naked in his bed.
Jess ran his fingers through Rory's brown hair. "Yeah, love you too." He mumbled.
Rory sighed deeply and said, "I love doing that with you."
Jess smirked at her honesty. "I like it too."
"You're good at it." Rory said, trailing a finger up and down his stomach.
"Umm, thank you." Jess said, feeling slightly uncomfortable. "You aren't too bad yourself."
"Have you done it, you know, a lot?" Rory asked, looking up at him.
Jess sighed. He'd been dreading this question. He knew that Rory's curious nature was going to force her to ask. "We talked about this once." He responded. It was true. Once, while they were dating the first time, she had asked him how experienced he was.
"Yeah, I know. And you avoided the issue then too." Rory retorted.
"Because it's not something I'm comfortable talking to you about." Jess responded.
"How many girls have you slept with?" Rory demanded. "I'm not going to get mad."
Jess still hesitated. "Five. One before we were together the first time, two while I was in California and two after you rejected me at Yale." He responded honestly and with great difficulty.
"So I'm the sixth." Rory said, trying not to frown.
"You're the sixth. You're also to most important." Jess said, looking down at her. He could see how hard she was trying to not be upset.
"How old were you when you lost your virginity?" Rory asked. She rolled away from him and propped herself up on her elbows so she could look at him.
Jess shrugged, prompting Rory to say, "Jess…"
"Sixteen." He responded. "It was pretty soon before I went to Stars Hollow."
"Did you love her?" Rory questioned.
Jess looked down. There was no way this conversation was going to end well. "Rory, do we have to do this?"
Rory gave a small pout. "I want to know." She insisted.
Jess sighed deeply. "I wasn't in love with her. You're the only girl I've ever been in love with."
Rory smiled at his answer and crept closer to him . "So how'd it happen?"
"God, Rory!" Jess exclaimed. "Why are you so interested?"
"Because, it's part of your life. I want to understand all I can about you." Rory said, pulling away again. "Why don't you want to tell me?"
"Because I don't want it to upset you." Jess said, reaching out to touch her face. "It's not important to me, and I don't want you to think it has any bearing on us at all."
Rory leaned into his touch. "Then I won't think that. Just tell me. How did it happen?"
Jess averted his eyes and said. "We were both virgins and we wanted to get it over with. Nothing romantic or special about it. We did it on the couch in my mother's apartment."
Rory was both relieved and upset at this revelation. "So you only did it with her once?"
"Actually, it turned out to be a good way to pass the time. Friends with benefits and all that jazz." Jess said uneasily, still not meeting Rory's eyes.
Friends with benefits. The term sat heavy in Rory's mind. "Do you still see her?" She asked, pulling away to the edge of the bed, fearing that the answer matched the scenario she was creating in her head.
Jess finally met Rory's intense gaze, looking nervous. "I see her everyday."
Rory wrapped Jess's sheet around her and stood up on shaky legs. "Claire." She whispered hoarsely. Jess cringed. She said the name with disgust and hurt in her voice.
Jess nodded. "Claire, but Rory-."
"No." Rory said, shaking her head. She held the sheet close to herself as she searched for her underwear. She found them and put them on, followed quickly by her jeans and shirt.
"Rory." Jess said, jumping off the bed. He pulled on a pair of boxer shorts and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Rory, stop."
Rory immediately pulled away. "You slept with Claire."
"Almost four years ago!" Jess responded. "It's not a big deal."
"No, Jess. It's a very big deal." Rory said. She sat on the bed and put her shoes on. "I was trying to be OK with how close you two are. It wasn't easy, but I was coping with it. I thought, 'Hey, I'm the one he loves. There's nothing between them. This'll be OK.' But you slept together. You lost your virginity together. I-I just can't handle that. Knowing that each time you touch me, you might've touched her in the exact same way." Rory shuddered violently and stood up. "I have to go."
"Rory, no!" Jess said, running in front of the door and preventing her from leaving. "Don't be so rash about this. I could never touch anyone the way I touch you. I love you."
Rory had tears filling her eyes. "Jess…you love Claire too. You've said it yourself."
Jess's eyes widened. "That's what this is? I love Claire, but I'm in love with you. Why is this a problem?"
"Because Claire's your best friend. People fall in love with their best friends, it happens all the time. They write movies about it." Rory said.
"Well, that isn't the case here. Claire and I have only ever just been friends." Jess proclaimed.
"Friends who slept together." Rory said, sniffing back her tears. "No, Jess. Just, no. Let me leave. Please."
"So that's it?" Jess asked, frustrated and angry. "You find out something new you don't like about me and we're done? Just like that? After all we've been through? After me leaving twice? After being lucky enough to meet again? After we poured our hearts out to each other? It's just over?"
The tears were falling, and Rory was letting them. "Just let me go, Jess." She commanded softly. "I just want to go."
Jess stepped away from the door. "Fine." He said through clenched teeth. "Leave. But this isn't over. I won't let this be over, Rory."
Rory stepped past him and out into the living room. She looked up at the painting on the wall. Jess's profile was complete, and he looked absolutely perfect. Rory remembered Claire's words describing Jess the first time she'd met her. Meant to be immortalized in paintings and poetry. Rory shook her head, another tear falling. How could she have been so stupid again? "Goodbye, Jess." She said. "And it's OK to say it back this time, because you really are the guy who let me down."
Jess's face fell and hurt was written all over his features. Rory didn't see it, however, because she didn't turn around. She walked out of the apartment and closed the door harshly behind her, knocking it off its bottom hinge so it dangled from the top one.
Jess stood there, staring at the closed and broken door. He heard the toilet flush, and a moment later Claire appeared from the bathroom, wearing pink pajama pants and a white T-shirt that had Care Bears on it. She walked over to Jess and followed his gaze to the broken door. "Did I miss something?"
Jess turned his head to face Claire, and she could see a layer of tears forming over his eyes. Claire's jaw practically dropped. "Baby!" She exclaimed, and she went to hug him.
"Don't touch me!" Jess exclaimed, pushing her away from him. "That's what got me in this mess to begin with." He stormed back into his room.
Claire stood motionless, confusion contorting her face. "I believe the only thing to say is: Huh?"
Jess flung himself onto his bed and called to Claire, "You want to know what happened? Four years ago, you and I slept together."
Claire stood in the doorway to his room. "You told her about that? You complete and total dumbass!"
"I didn't offer the information. She asked." Jess said. "I couldn't not tell her once she asked."
"Sure you could've!" Claire exclaimed, walking into the room and dropping down onto the bed next to Jess. "You're the king of changing the subject."
"Well I've been trying to abdicate that throne lately." Jess snapped. "She said she can't handle it, us, you and me, whatever."
"That's the story of our lives." Claire said, sadly. "It's the reason I could never keep a boyfriend."
"You could've kept Michael." Jess reminded her.
"Don't go there." She whispered sadly. "What are you going to do about Rory?"
Jess sighed. "What can I do?" He questioned rhetorically. "I guess I'll just wait a few days and call her, see if we can get past it."
"If you can't?" Claire asked, turning her head towards Jess.
Jess frowned. "I can't lose her again, Claire." He whispered. One stray tear managed to fall from his eye before he brushed wildly at his face, preventing any more from falling.
Claire stood and straightened her T-shirt. "You won't, baby." She said, reassuringly before walking out of the room and closing the door. She picked up her cigarettes off the coffee table and quickly lit one. She stared at the broken door as she inhaled deeply, releasing her words along with a cloud of smoke. "Not if I can help it, anyway."
"Hi Jess." Luke said into the cordless phone, putting his tools down. He was in the diner's kitchen, trying to fix the burner on the oven.
"Hey Luke. How's it going?" Jess asked, trying to mask his disappointment. He'd picked up the phone after the first ring, hoping it was Rory and forgetting about screening the call.
"Alright. I'm trying to fix the oven and decided I needed a distraction." Luke responded, going out into the empty diner and sitting at a table. "So, distract." He commanded.
"What?" Jess said miserably. "Sorry, Luke. I wasn't paying attention."
"Are you OK? You sound kinda off." Luke questioned, concerned for his nephew.
"Rory and I got in a big fight. She, well, she pretty much broke it off." Jess said quietly.
"You're kidding!" Luke exclaimed. "What happened?"
Jess sighed. "She found out something about me and Claire, and she freaked."
"Did you cheat on her with Claire, you bastard?" Luke growled, shooting up from the table and knocking the chair over. "I swear on my life, if you did-."
"Luke, do you think I'm a complete idiot?" Jess demanded. "Don't answer that." He said before Luke could respond. "I would never cheat on Rory. She found out that Claire and I…that we had a little thing when we were younger. But it was when I was 16, before I even came to Stars Hollow! I didn't even know Rory then."
"Huh." Luke said. "And she got mad about that?"
"Yeah. She said she can't trust me anymore." Jess said.
Luke twisted his face in confusion. "I don't get it."
Jess let out a small, humorless laugh. "Me neither. I think it's a girl thing. But I told her it didn't mean anything. I told her that I only love her and that I'd only ever love her. That didn't matter to her. She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore."
"When did this happen?"
Jess sighed deeply. "Three days ago."
"Tried to talk to her since then?" Luke asked, finally sitting back down.
"It's useless. She won't answer her cell phone, and I called her grandmother's house and as soon as she heard my voice, she hung up. I went there and she wouldn't see me." Jess said, sounding sad and miserable.
A tap came on the diner's door and Luke looked up. It was Lorelai. With a small smile, Luke stood again and opened the door for her. "Hey." He said, giving her a small kiss on the cheek.
"Who's there?" Jess asked.
"Lorelai." Luke responded. He looked up at Lorelai and mouthed 'Jess.'
"Oh. She must be loving this." Jess said miserably.
Luke looked at Lorelai, who had sat down at a table. She looked completely indifferent to the fact he was talking to Jess.
"When did you guys get OK again?" Jess asked.
"Yesterday. We had a good long talk about everything." Luke responded, smiling at Lorelai.
Lorelai smiled at Luke, but it was a little forced.
"That's good. I'm glad. Someone should be happy." Jess said.
"Maybe she just needs time." Luke said, trying to be helpful.
Lorelai's head snapped up and she looked at Luke. "What'd he do to my baby? I knew it! I knew it! He broke her heart!" She exclaimed, feeling triumphant and furious.
Luke gave her an annoyed look and said, "Actually, she broke his." He snapped.
Lorelai tilted her head to the side. "What?" She asked, confused. She held her hand out. "Phone." She commanded.
"Lorelai…" Luke said.
"Phone." She repeated.
"Lorelai…" Luke said, still hesitating.
Lorelai didn't repeat her command. She just stood with her hand out, waiting for the phone. Luke hesitated, but finally handed it to her.
"Tell me what happened so I can figure out how it's your fault." Lorelai instructed Jess.
Jess sighed. "Lorelai, do we have to do this?"
"Yes." Lorelai said simply.
"Fine." Jess said, annoyed. "She found out my best friend Claire and I slept together a few times when I was 16, before I ever moved to Stars Hollow. She broke up with me over it, and now she won't have anything to do with me."
"Well of course." Lorelai said with a nod. "This girl is your best friend. She's the biggest thing in your life, next to my daughter I'd hope. And now she finds out that you slept with her. Sex is the most intimate act between a man and a woman. She's afraid that Claire has more of your heart than she does."
There was silence on the line as Jess digested this information. "Oh."
"Look, Jess. I despise you. But I know you love Rory. That's why I'm going to tell you this. I know my daughter, and I know that it's going to take something huge to make her understand that you love her." Lorelai said.
Jess said, "Wow. This is intense. Did we just have a moment?"
Lorelai sighed. "I'm afraid so. I'm giving the phone back to Luke now."
Luke took the phone from Lorelai and heard Jess laughing lightly. "Jess?"
Jess stopped laughing. "That's some girl you've got, Luke."
"Yeah, I know." Luke said, smiling lovingly at Lorelai. "Bye, Jess."
"Bye, Luke."
